Silkycoils is . . .the BLACKchorette. :-D

[Silkycoils]

@Silkycoils , I have got to ask. Are you not concerned about covid? I even saw you were doing karaoke. That's got to be without a mask, right?

Also, where can we watch episodes of this "Hood Court"?

I am concerned. We socially distance. We had a private room for karaoke, but it was just the two of us, and we were about 6ft. from each other (opposite couches). They also gave us two mics that were covered. We wore masks for bowling, and I have a large sectional in my house. We were across from each other when eating, but we were mindful. He drove me to the sushi spot from the bowling alley parking lot, and we wore our masks in the car. He has small children, so he’s especially mindful as well.

 

[Everything Zen]

Nicely said!

Nicer than me

 

[Everything Zen]

Honestly- I wouldn’t even be eating these homemade treats that these dudes are bringing.

 

[Evolving78]

Honestly- I wouldn’t even be eating these homemade treats that these dudes are bringing.

Coronavirus! Ish is Real!!!

 

[Everything Zen]

Coronavirus! Ish is Real!!!

Chyle BEFORE coronavirus.

 

[caribeandiva]

Nicer than me

Right?! I was thinking the same thing! My response would’ve been nil. If I had to say anything it’d be if I ran into him in person. Then it’d be what @Silkycoils said in the text.

 

[mrselle]

Ummmm......so, he was going to fix you a plate and bring it to your house? That wouldn't be acceptable even before Covid.

 

[Evolving78]

Ummmm......so, he was going to fix you a plate and bring it to your house? That wouldn't be acceptable even before Covid.

I will take that as in he doesn’t know any better, but he is still a cheap sucka mc. And it’s too early for house dates/Netflix and chill if you trying to keep ya legs closed or ain’t letting somebody feel on something.
Something would have went down and dude ruined it with his to-go plate foolishness! Lol

 

[Everything Zen]

I just sent the below text to him. I am very outspoken, and sometimes my friends say that what I want to say would be too direct, but I believe that there is a way that you can be true to yourself without being rude. I didn’t flat out call him cheap, but I let him know how his actions made me feel.

Did he respond?

 

[Silkycoils]

Y’all . . . he responded, smgdh! Get a load of these texts!

 

[Silkycoils]

Phew! There are sooooo many “men” out here operating in their feminine energy!!!! I’m not going 50/50 financially with any man in a relationship . . .period! Let’s be clear, just because a man is generous with you financially doesn’t mean that he cares about you (as I’ve experienced that side of the coin as well), but I absolutely CAN NOT and WILL NOT deal with a cheap or tit-for-tat man! But seriously, what would be the benefit in me dealing with him . . .he has two small children, ANNNNND is cheap?!!!! That naker ain’t paying no alimony!

What this has reaffirmed for me (yet again) is to go with my gut! I didn’t even reply and I blocked him.

I just came back from Zumba in the park. I’m focusing 100% on self-care. The higher my vibration, the more likely I am to attract the RIGHT man. I’m going to take a few days’ break from Hinge to focus on myself and my goals. I’m still in this though!

 

[Everything Zen]

I didn’t realize that you were also giving homemade food to your dates. I would consider not doing that anymore until you get serious with someone because it does set a more casual tone/expectation. I don’t give my home cooking to people I don't really know.

 

[BrownBetty]

GREAT response

Agreed!
I'm taking notes!

 

[mrselle]

@Silkycoils - he said everything and nothing all at the same time. All his text did was confirm what you already knew in your gut.

 

[kimpaur]

So glad you didn’t reply to that fool!
The freaking NERVE-his broke arse needs to stay single and focus on his kids smdh

 

[BrownBetty]

@Silkycoils
I skimmed the later part of his response and those are a lot of words to say "I'm cheap, I want a woman who goes Dutch, and I aint trying to impress you". I agree with not responding, you all are on 2 separate pages not worth anymore effort.

 

[Silkycoils]

I didn’t realize that you were also giving homemade food to your dates. I would consider not doing that anymore until you get serious with someone because it does set a more casual tone/expectation. I don’t give my home cooking to people I don't really know.

I don’t and I didn’t. My friend made me a Red Velvet boxed cake for “Galentine’s Day.” I told him about it, and he mentioned how much he loved RVC. I offered him a piece, but he made sure to follow up about the cake on another day, so I brought him a piece . . . of a cake that he knew I didn’t make.

 

[Silkycoils]

I will take that as in he doesn’t know any better, but he is still a cheap sucka mc. And it’s too early for house dates/Netflix and chill if you trying to keep ya legs closed or ain’t letting somebody feel on something.
Something would have went down and dude ruined it with his to-go plate foolishness! Lol

I may or may not have been open to a little “over the clothes” feel up action.

 

[caribeandiva]

Y’all . . . he responded, smgdh! Get a load of these texts! View attachment 469773View attachment 469775View attachment 469777View attachment 469777View attachment 469779View attachment 469781

I didn’t read any of that. He put more effort into writing these messages than he did into planning (and paying for) your dates.

 

[caribeandiva]

@Silkycoils
I skimmed the later part of his response and those are a lot of words to say "I'm cheap, I want a woman who goes Dutch, and I aint trying to impress you". I agree with not responding, you all are on 2 separate pages not worth anymore effort.

I’m glad you gave a summary

 

[caribeandiva]

What this has reaffirmed for me (yet again) is to go with my gut! I didn’t even reply and I blocked him.

Good for you!! Totally right up my alley with trusting your gut, not replying and just blocking! Congratulations!! Btw You read that whole diatribe he wrote you?! I’m curious

 

[Silkycoils]

Good for you!! Totally right up my alley with trusting your gut, not replying and just blocking! Congratulations!! Btw You read that whole diatribe he wrote you?! I’m curious

I did . . .and I got more and more annoyed by the minute. The audacity! The condescension (still liking me “in spite” of my “revealing some things that he’d wondered about” . . .Pligga Nease!), the gaslighting (saying that he would’ve “likely” refused my offer to buy him something to drink, yet he didn’t offer) . . .Chile, I’m good over here! I don’t need OR want that bs that he’s offering . . .got me messed up for real!

 

[caribeandiva]

I did . . .and I got more and more annoyed by the minute. The audacity! The condescension (still liking me “in spite” of my “revealing some things that he’d wondered about” . . .Pligga Nease!), the gaslighting (saying that he would’ve “likely” refused my offer to buy him something to drink, yet he didn’t offer) . . .Chile, I’m good over here! I don’t need OR want that bs that he’s offering . . .got me messed up for real!

What a clown! Good riddance!

 

[hopeful]

I did . . .and I got more and more annoyed by the minute. The audacity! The condescension (still liking me “in spite” of my “revealing some things that he’d wondered about” . . .Pligga Nease!), the gaslighting (saying that he would’ve “likely” refused my offer to buy him something to drink, yet he didn’t offer) . . .Chile, I’m good over here! I don’t need OR want that bs that he’s offering . . .got me messed up for real!

I read all of those texts too out of curiosity. I think it’s just best to be vague when bowing out of a relationship early on. People (especially men) hate being criticized in any way. They will almost always lash out aggressively or passive aggressively as this guy did. He was basically saying B please in the nicest way possible. I am finding that “nice” guys can be the worst because they leave no room in their lives for criticism or improvement because they are convinced they are the nicest of nicest and therefore anyone who criticizes them must be the problem.

Also, thanks so much for sharing your dating experiences with us. It’s entertaining and educational.

 

[Silkycoils]

I read all of those texts too out of curiosity. I think it’s just best to be vague when bowing out of a relationship early on. People (especially men) hate being criticized in any way. They will almost always lash out aggressively or passive aggressively as this guy did. He was basically saying B please in the nicest way possible. I am finding that “nice” guys can be the worst because they leave no room in their lives for criticism or improvement because they are convinced they are the nicest of nicest and therefore anyone who criticizes them must be the problem.

Also, thanks so much for sharing your dating experiences with us. It’s entertaining and educational.

I agree. There’s something in me that wants to let people know why I’m done with them though. But seriously, I’d rather tell you than for you to make up a reason in your head. That doesn’t mean that they will receive it, as evidenced by old boy, but I feel like I’m “doing my part” to keep communication clear.

I keep dodging bullets though, and for that I am grateful. Some people meet “their person” without having to deal with too many unsuitables, and some of us don’t. I’m thankful for my wisdom and discernment and my ability to move on quickly. I am more than happy to share with you ladies . . .the ups and the downs.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

You know somebody either southern or with southern roots is BIGT petty mad when they make sure to mention box cake or cake mix. They just want to clarify that they know what from scratch taste like and what you provided wasn't it.

I made the case in the negging thread against sex on the first date because you don't have to wait long for dudes to show you their dumb sooner rather than later. Dude was too dumb to even read the room that while a first invite to a woman's home is not an automatic invitation to have sex, it's a show of trust that she's comfortable with him and comfort is a good indication of sex happening eventually. Now that the PC part is taken care of, just like @Silkycoils said she was ready for a lil something to happen, even before Netflix and chill, most women don't invite a dude over unless privacy is a consideration. This genius didn't even pick up on her feeling him like that and fumbled his chance to get a closer whiff of the amber oil smell good.

All of that said, the offer of leftovers was tacky. I'm more appalled than insulted by the offer of leftovers. It's not just the cheapness that's the problem IMO but the "hand me down-ness" of it all. Besides the chicken, that poo really does look picked over and unappetizing. Listen, it's one thing for somebody to bring you "a plate" back from somebody's house, the offering of second hand, cast off food of others is stomach turning.

 

[frizzy]

Petty on top of petty would have let him pack up all leftovers for Netflix and chill night, then not be home when he got there.

ETA--Leaving him a note on the door, optional.

 

[kimpaur]

Petty on top of petty would have let him pack up all leftovers for Netflix and chill night, then not be home when he got there.

ETA--Leaving him a note on the door, optional.

This is diabolically petty and I’m here for it!

 

[Silkycoils]

Petty on top of petty would have let him pack up all leftovers for Netflix and chill night, then not be home when he got there.

ETA--Leaving him a note on the door, optional.

This is hilarious, but I stopped short of giving him my address (and I'm glad! ).

 

[OneShinyface]

He had nothing but excuses. Lame excuses. That's probably why he's divorced now. He was a crappy spouse and she finally wised up and peaced out. Now he's looking for the next person who thinks just having a man is enough. SMH. Who raised these people?!