I’m back for advice time. So I’d previously mentioned the divorced Dad with the 10 and 7 year old. I’m 99.9% not desirous of being a step mother to children so small, but I enjoy his company and just wanted to keep an open mind.
For our first meeting, we were supposed to go bowling and then to lunch. I’m cool with keeping things casual for a first meeting (but a step up from coffee). Anywho, we get to the bowling alley, but there are no lanes available, so there is about an hour and a half wait. No problem, we just put our names on the list. We go to Panera for lunch (it was Super Bowl Sunday). The conversation was cool . . .easy breezy. They text him when a lane is ready. We go back to the bowling alley, and they wanted about $40-something dollars for two people for an hour and a half. Not a lot of money, but it seemed high for Sunday afternoon bowling. He kind of balked at the price, but I agreed with him. We ended up hanging out in the arcade area talking.
Second date, he picks another arcade/bowling alley/karaoke spot not too far from my house. I like that he is considerate about my location. There was a super long wait time for bowling, so we played a quick game of pool, then sang karaoke, which was super fun. He didn’t offer me anything to eat though, and I felt some kind of way about that. I speak up for myself, but I don’t feel like I should have to ask a man to offer me food/drinks on a date. After this date, he gave me a small bouquet of flowers and the two chocolate caramel brownies that he’d made with his kids for Valentine’s Day. I thought it was a sweet gesture.
He asks to see me again the next week, and he really wants to make bowling happen
, but I’m cool with it. He also suggests that we go to this sushi spot afterwards. I go to the website, and they advertise that the plates start at $2.50. Now, I feel like he was “thoughtful” about our outings, but I got a cheap or penny-pinching vibe from him. I am definitely frugal, in that I am good with my money and I don’t like to spend frivolously, but I am generous with myself and others, if that makes sense.
We had fun bowling, and that is when he smells my Amber Oil and asks me about the scent. He’s definitely kind of “square”, but so am I (with a sprinkle of hood
). I enjoy his company.
I should mention that his ex-wife is Japanese, and his children are biracial. I mean, he lived in Japan for 11 years.
So, for our next “date”, we were going to really keep it casual, and I was going to let him come over to watch a movie. I’d told him about “Imitation of Life”, and we were just going to chill. I’d told him that the way to my heart is through my stomach (said in jest, but true nonetheless). I put out there that we could order takeout, just so he didn’t think that he was going to sit up in my house without feeding me, or that I was cooking.
His sister and his nephew just came to town last week. They are visiting from France. He’d told me that they were going to try to throw his nephew a birthday party since they’d missed his birthday.
I was actually looking forward to hanging out with him and just being easy. Y’all, WHY did this man send me pics of leftover party food saying that he was bringing it to my house?!!!!
I was so disgusted and offended!!!! You mean to tell me that you thought it was a good idea to bring me some food that’s been picked over and breathed on by your peoples . . .during covid?!!!! More importantly, his cheap arse was likely bringing it so he wouldn't have to order takeout!!!! I told him that I wasn’t going to eat that, and that I’d rather order takeout. I added a laughing emoji, to “soften” it. Maybe that’s my problem. I wanted to tell him that I was offended by the gesture, and that it came off as cheap, but my friend and my Son both said that that would be rude. I ended up canceling because I was going to let this naker sit up in my house, and he was going to try to bring me some leftover food?!!!!
I should also add that he wasn’t going to “score”, and I honestly don’t think he would’ve tried. He hasn’t made any kind of move yet. But hey, you never know.
I said that I had a headache and canceled. He was concerned, of course, and said that he hoped that I would feel better soon, and if I did, he’d be free to hang out today after 1:00 p.m. He’d already tried to have me commit to both days. He wants to climb Stone Mountain (he’s never done it), but I didn’t want to commit to both days, as I like my alone time.
Anyway, he just texted me not long ago checking up on me. I haven’t answered. I don’t even want to see him again. I cannot STAND a cheap man!!!! I feel like his dates were “thoughtful”, but that they considered his pockets more so than my entertainment. We’ve never been out for a nighttime dinner. My question is, can I straight up tell him why I’m put off? I don’t like ghosting people, but I have to say that I’m ALL the way put off.
What y’all think?
Sorry not sorry 
www.etsy.com
IJS
. He’s some fake judge that hosts online “Hood Courts.” He’s supposedly a songwriter/producer. 
I don’t believe a thing outta his mouth now! 
I told her that I support her and want “us” all to win. 
