I dont know what's wrong with me

[LovinLea]

I also am wondering what is your type.

 

[TrulyBlessed]

Also men these days aren't as simple as they used to be. Some want to be chased and complain if women don't show enough interest, some run if you seem interested too early, some run if you're educated, some run if you're independent, some run if you appear clingy, some run if they have to put in work to chase you, some run if you are too attractive, some run if you're not attractive enough, some run because they are always looking for the next best thing, some run if you feed their ego, some run if you don't feed their ego, some men want to be the prize and expect to be treated as such and will run if the woman expects to be valued and treated like the prize. I've heard several times where men are now running if you don't volunteer to pay for half or all of the meal on the first date even if they asked you out. It's confusing.

I wish I grew up in my parents' era when dating was much better. All you can do now is value yourself and pray the right one comes along who will appreciate you.

 

[*~Mocha~*]

Lucie ..........

What do you discuss on your dates? Anything too serious?

What kind of man are you attracted to?
I'm attracted to strong, educated and ambitious men.
Is your life in order?

Does your daughter's father bother you? Make things difficult? Is he discussed with your dates?
No, he doesn't. He's pretty much nonexistent. I've been asked about him and all I've said is he is not around by (his) choice. While this is hard , I tell them it's really for the best. Most times they admire that because they see how well my child is taken care of by a single parent. That's never been issue. This is always established before our official first date.

Do you have the opportunity to date as you have a DD? Yes, because I have great friends and family. They are the ones who are encouraging me to date. I do have a child but I don't think it should hold me back from dating. I just can't do the spontaneous dates without planning. Which they understand because they have careers and work.

Do you qualify a man prior to going out? I don't like to go out with a man unless we have had a few chats so I can see where his mind is.
i do
How do you feel about yourself?
I'm wishy washy. Sometimes I have all the confidence in the world and sometimes not so much. I'm 'happy' for the most part but not satisfied.
Sorry for the 21 questions.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Are you too "nice"? That was part of my problem...

I was single from 24 to 34 basically, with shorter flings during those years. After 34 I've never been single, so I know it was my demeanor that I deliberately changed that lead to my SO.

@FlowerHair
Could you elaborate? What was it you started doing differently?? Because I see some women who are "nice" and very easy to get along with, and they STILL find men falling all over them and are married.

I was also scratching my head but this leapt out at me. The thing is, you're not really as good as you think you are in faking it. I say this because I can relate to you 100%. Guys are dumb, but really, really perceptive at the most interesting times. They can smell this kind of stuff of a woman. When you are striving to wake up each day, count the blessings you do have and be more positive about your life and live yourself more IT SHOWS. You will radiate and you will be more attractive not only to others but to the most important person, you. I took some advice here and read a free kindle sample on my phone of the book, "The Tao of Dating". The title is kinda corny but the content is changing my outlook not only on men but my life in measurable ways.

I also think you are just running into a bad patch of frogs just like many single gals are. ♥

@Lenee925 ^^Thanks for this info.

I might check that book out!

Also men these days aren't as simple as they used to be. Some want to be chased and complain if women don't show enough interest, some run if you seem interested too early, some run if you're educated, some run if you're independent, some run if you appear clingy, some run if they have to put in work to chase you, some run if you are too attractive, some run if you're not attractive enough, some run because they are always looking for the next best thing, some run if you feed their ego, some run if you don't feed their ego, some men want to be the prize and expect to be treated as such and will run if the woman expects to be valued and treated like the prize. I've heard several times where men are now running if you don't volunteer to pay for half or all of the meal on the first date even if they asked you out. It's confusing.

I wish I grew up in my parents' era when dating was much better. All you can do now is value yourself and pray the right one comes along who will appreciate you.

Ugh...men are such PANSIES these days.... Smh....

I'm sorry....lol....maybe I'm being a bit harsh. I'm just getting a little fed up with these "new age men".

I've heard several times where men are now running if you don't volunteer to pay for half or all of the meal on the first date even if they asked you out.

What in the??
Oh I wish a man would!

 

[Lenee925]

I m not single but I noticed that nowadays the game has changed and men want to be chased . They want a woman who chase them and treats them like they re replaceable .
They also less willing to settle down as they think they can always have better .

I agree with you 100%! I would even go so far as to say this is exactly why a woman should stick to her guns and not compromise. The type of males that have this mindset should have a quarantine sticker on them because they are not for any woman of worth or value. Since guys are realizing that good women everywhere are catering to that kind of behavior, it's that much more important to know your worth because the guy who is out there looking for you; who is worth marrying is hoping you'll be different.

i have some friends like this--their nice women and have their stuff all the way together buttttttttt-----they come to me so they can commission their inner (for lack of a better word) ****/confidence...

too nice girls never get the man--you have to let men and ppl know you are the ish and they will act accordingly--no one wants something they can have so easily--ppl want what they can't have!!!

its not about playing games its about--that inner confidence that shines like the brightest light you ever seen
but that comes forom within--if your unhappy or in a certain headspace ppl can tell--even if you think your masking it ppl can pick up on it--

unfort men because the date so damn much know exactly what type of chick they are dealing with upon meeting and conversing with her---they know...

And this post reminds me of that one important thing that so many of us lack. True LOVE for ourselves. If most are honest, we'll admit that at most we like ourselves enough. But love?

I would venture to say that a woman who genuinely held the bolded mindset could either happily and warmly (not bitterly and with attitude lol) take or leave a man. That in and of itself is like honey to the opposite sex I think.

 

[RoseTintedCheeks]

mocha

Try reading The Rules and Why Men Love *itches There are threads around here on them. I do think you're problem is being too nice which is really about having weak boundaries with men. Good Luck

 

[pearcey]

This board we have here is special. Men need such outlets. As time moves on, less available suitors are out there because they too probably feel like some of us do.

Insecure, unattractive, vulnerable-yet, we expect them to be these supernova megamen with the sexual prowess of a demigod.

OP, the next time this happens ask the man in question. If we feel pressure as women, I am sure the man's is off the charts as well.

This transcends race, culture, and creed.

 

[PeaceFlow]

I m not single but I noticed that nowadays the game has changed and men want to be chased . They want a woman who chase them and treats them like they re replaceable .
They also less willing to settle down as they think they can always have better .

I wonder.

I was single just a few years ago and guys were so polite and most pretty traditional about courting/chasing. I don't live in the US though, so maybe that's it IDK.

Some of my friends have had completely different experiences with men in my same city but they have different personalities and also pick different men than I do.

This must be a certain type of guy, class, culture? Men is quite a broad category. If it really is that common that's a sad state of affairs.

 

[ManeStreet]

My friends are stomped. They always tell me they don't understand why I'm single. They tell me I'm attractive and have a good heart and seem like I'd be great in a relationship. They're pretty much convinced it's the men and not me. I didn't notice anything odd in the last interaction. We went out for dinner and we had a great time. He complimented me heavily, we laughed at each other's jokes and we spoke later that night and then he disappeared.

Ask male platonic friends, male cousins or male family members. They will give you an honest on point answer.

Also if you have a chance get this book.

Check this out on AMZN: Why Men Love *****es: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship http://amzn.com/1580627560

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Men ain't no help cause they're not about to break the man code lol. I've always got some vague answer so I stopped asking.