Should he send the e-mail?

S

SincerelyJane

New Member
I have two friends who dated several years ago. He treated her like crap, he was not nice to her at all. And then he dumped her. I think he did it because he wasn't ready to settle down and he wanted to whore around. She was heartbroken. Then she met someone new, who is nice but can be controlling. But he's rich, so. My dude friend dated around and slept around a bunch, but never had anything serious. We all felt none of the new girls he brought around could measure up to HER, but whatever, his life, his stupid choices.

Now, she's engaged, and she and her current fiance plan to get married next yr. My dude friend just heard about it through the grapevine and is heartbroken. He regrets how he treated her and wants to get her back! He plans to write her a letter, begging her to give him another chance.

I think he should leave her alone, I predicted all of this 5 yrs ago when stuff started to hit the fan, and though I care for him as a friend, I think he is getting what he justly deserves! Just shut up! She's getting married now, your loss! I think its unfair for him to try to muddle in her relationship now. I would be pissed to get an e-mail like that. The guys in our circle are like... hey... go after what you want!

What do you think? How would you respond?
 
Absolutely not.

I'm not even convinced it's really about him wanting her back. He's probably just feeling some way about her moving on to something serious while he's still out there having all these meaningless flings.
 
I would read it, then delete it.

ETA: Let him send the e-mail, I don't think it would matter anyway since the girl won't leave her fiance for him.
 
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MzLady78 said:
Absolutely not.

I'm not even convinced it's really about him wanting her back. He's probably just feeling some way about her moving on to something serious while he's still out there having all these meaningless flings.
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This is my first thought, and makes me think of that Reluctant Bride thread. I've made a personal vow never to get back with anyone who has rejected me before, because ain't nobody got time for flakey feelings.
 
This is typical male behavior IMO. They go for whatever they want because in their minds they are top dawg lol

Does your friend still have feelings for the jerk as far as you know? Also, how does her fiancé display his controlling behavior, what does he do? Curious about that one. Does she have doubts about him? Did you ask him why he wants to send this email, what does he hope to accomplish and why after all these years?

I'd say, if you know she has no feelings for him, let him send it. If you suspect that his email may make her hesitate than don't let him send it. Look out for her if you can...
 
not directed at you op

5 yrs have passed and hes salty about her getting married--he think she was just gonna sit around and be there when he was ready..

he is so corny/lame

i would be so disgusted of him tryna to bring bad energy to a happy time in my life---*** and move da hell on!!!
corny blank dude! ugh

5 yrs begging to get back for what?
 
Fine 4s said:
This is typical male behavior IMO. They go for whatever they want because in their minds they are top dawg lol

Does your friend still have feelings for the jerk as far as you know? Also, how does her fiancé display his controlling behavior, what does he do? Curious about that one. Does she have doubts about him?

I'd say, if you know she has no feelings for him, let him send it. If you suspect that his email may make her hesitate than don't let him send it. Look out for her if you can...
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If she still has feelings its not something she's verbalized.

The fiance has exhibited controlling behavior in the past by telling her what to do, what to eat, what to buy. He has a very "I know whats best for you, so you should listen to me" attitude.

She did have doubts about him, they broke up for a bit and when she got back in contact with him, he told her not to bother contacting him unless she was willing and ready to get married :look:.
 
lux10023 said:
not directed at you op

5 yrs have passed and hes salty about her getting married--he think she was just gonna sit around and be there when he was ready..

he is so corny/lame

i would be so disgusted of him tryna to bring bad energy to a happy time in my life---*** and move da hell on!!!
corny blank dude! ugh

5 yrs begging to get back for what?
Click to expand...

omg I totally agree. And I wish you could see the type of girls he was whoring around with :rolleyes:.

I really think its a matter of him wanting what he can't have. Though I do see him behaving better 2nd time around because now he knows good girls are hard to find! Should have appreciated what he had!
 
Stay out of it. Tell dude to leave you alone. Apparently your friend doesn't know how to pick dudes.
 
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SincerelyJane said:
If she still has feelings its not something she's verbalized.

The fiance has exhibited controlling behavior in the past by telling her what to do, what to eat, what to buy. He has a very "I know whats best for you, so you should listen to me" attitude.

She did have doubts about him, they broke up for a bit and when she got back in contact with him, he told her not to bother contacting him unless she was willing and ready to get married :look:.
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OK, well this looks like a separate issue that still doesn't warrant an email from a jerk ex who treated her poorly.
 
Did he ask for your advice? If not, I'd stay out of it.

She may want to hear from him to reinforce her decision to marry the new guy. Or she may be willing to give him another chance and dump the fiance. It's not your decision to make for her by telling him not to reach out.
 
naturalmanenyc said:
Did he ask for your advice? If not, I'd stay out of it.

She may want to hear from him to reinforce her decision to marry the new guy. Or she may be willing to give him another chance and dump the fiance. It's not your decision to make for her by telling him not to reach out.
Click to expand...

Okay :look:

I doubt she'll do that. I don't plan on getting involved at all. But its a circle of friends, stuff happens, we talk about it, share our opinion and move on. I don't plan on getting involved anymore than that.
 
:nono: He doesn't really want her back. If he did, he would have realized it before he heard about her engagement.

Sent from my SGH-M919 using LHCF
 
have you ever heard about buyers remorse, well he's going through; "I didn't want her but now that someone else has got her, I think I made a mistake, remorse" ...he'll get over it
 
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