POLL: Why do YOU think Black Women Relax Their Hair??

[Lynnerie]

I went back to being relaxed for the same reason that naturals choose to wear their hair in a state unlike the way it grew out of their scalp.(hair dye, straightening ,shingling etc) And that reason is because I want to.

When I was natural I didn't care why women were relaxing. I was just doin me and when I started texlaxing I was still doin me.


Carry on...

 

[PinkSunshine77]

Are you relaxed and speaking for yourself or speaking for others? ...because if you are speaking for others, there's a whole lot of accusing, judging, and patronizing going on in that post and it's more than a bit ridiculous. Also, if you are speaking for others... the bolded can't be true. You obviously feel strongly. That's for sure

Either way, it doesn't matter. Your opinion is yours. I'm just giving my opinion of it

Opinions don't have to be fact. *Shrugs* to everything else.

 

[hothair]

Don't know about other black women but I chose to relax because it works best with my lifestyle

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Wow! This thread has gone out of control and has somewhat defeated the purpose imo.


Smh.....

**DISCLAIMER: When I created this thread I did not intend to offend anyone, I was just simply opening the question up for a "healthy" debate/discussion...that's all! It was only a question I thought about after watching this documentary w/my mother the other night. Nothing more.....nothing less. I just wanted to get the viewpoints on the ladies on this board. That's why I said in my original post that there is no "right" or "wrong" answer. It's just your own opinion.

I was relaxed only because it was what I was raised to do from a young child. I was never taught that there was actually an alternative of NOT getting a relaxer. And I suppose too that I didn't see natural hair growing up. Although in hindsight, I'm sure I saw a few naturals and wondered why their hair wasn't "done".

I just didn't know my relaxed hair wasn't natural...because I knew it wasn't fake.

Yea it's funny because when I was younger, it was never questioned either. It was just something we did. I don't think I thought too deeply about it really, I just think that because most black women had relaxed hair, that just seemed to be the norm for me, so I never ever questioned it. *shrugs*

Plus, I would say that even just 10 years ago, being "natural" was synonymous with either wearing an afro, or dreads, and since I didn't think that either would look right on me, I swore at one point to "never go natural". Times have definitely changed though, I think that we have more knowledge and even products within the past 10 years than we ever had before in regards to natural hair.

She already had her own insecurities about the way she looked being natural,so when someone told her she look like she was from Africa, and that it didnt look right on her. So that was like the hair that broke the camels back. She was never comfortable with it in the first place. So she chopped it off

Thats why I tell ANYONE who is going natural to have your mind made up. Do it because YOU want to feel beautiful to YOURSELF. Society has so many different views of what beautiful is, you would be jumping through loops all day to meet them. Going Natural must be for YOU, because when you go through your "rough" stage...doing if for YOU will make you be able to do endure it.

So so true.

I was natural for 6 yrs and it was sooo much work. My stylist told me about texturizers and I have been getting a texturizer for 7yrs (1-2x a yr). I luv my natural hair but I was spending hours doing my hair and didn't really enjoy it. My hair still has lots of texture but it's just easier for me to manage.

pelohello

Yea, I think this is probably the MAIN reason why a lot of women choose to relax honestly.

Now do you think that our hair would be easier to manage and style if our hair were the majority? In other words...because AA hair is the most DIFFERENT from any other race out here, do you think that they have not invented tools/products that cause our hair to be "easier" to manage simply because we are the minority? OR, do you think that our hair is just "inherently" more "difficult" to manage?? If straight hair were the minority, do you think it would be difficult to upkeep that type of hair too? Does this make sense? Idk if you can understand what I'm trying to ask....

I've always wondered that.... :scratchch

I didn't vote because I didn't feel that your options given did not representing everyone. I do, however, think most black women relax for manageability.

Well unfortunately I couldn't put down EVERY single little reason, otherwise that poll would be MAJORLY long!

But I tried to put down the reasons that I've heard people say the MOST.

Clearly the poster is biased and linking the way you wear your hair to some sort of self-hate and I dont subscribe to that at all. Im just unapologetically prissy, prefer my hair straight, and like options. I also paint my nails every two days and my hair is an accessory that I love to play with at my whim.

Sorry if you feel that my poll was "biased"....I didn't intend on it to be that way at all. I felt it covered a wide range of different reasons why SOME people may relax their own hair, OR why they *THINK* other black women relax their hair.

This post wasn't intending to be a "Relaxed vs. Natural" war debate, and I'm kind of sad that it seems to be turning into that.

The options are all negative & biased, in my opinion... and none of them apply to me. I know how to manage my natural hair... I was natural for 8 years. I definitely don't have any "self hate" issues. I'm not doing it for a man and I don't want to be white

The truth is, my hair thrives better with the texlax & I like showing my length. Long story short: I relax because I want to and it works for me. We need an option for that

How are the options ALL "negative"??

How are:
-Easier managebility
-I feel I look better w/relaxed or straight hair
-Force of habit
-The reasons have changed over the years....

"Negative" options on a poll??

These are ALL reasons why SOME people relax their hair. These reasons may not pertain personally for YOU but that doesn't mean it is negative and doesn't pertain to others.

Plus, human nature states that we as humans do things for either one of 2 reasons: For Pleasure, or to lessen Pain. So if YOU choose to relax it must either bring you pleasure or evade you from pain. I would say the same to anyone who is natural.

What tools do you think they were missing?

Ogoma
I figure whatever tools/plants they were using to do their hair in Africa.

Keep in mind, many were taken from their homes, cultures and even family members that they knew of and put in a strange country, with a strange climate, etc. I don't think it's far fetched to believe that this put a lot of AA ancestors in a difficult position with regards to doing their hair. Oh, and let's not forget the stress from slavery in itself!

This thread is kinda ridiculous op. If I'm not natural (everything other than hair) enough you blast me, if I relax you put me down by telling me I hate myself, if I color my hair you take my natural card. I see some are saying their reasoning is manageability and natural hair taking hours to style...not for me not even if I was at my goal, but I respect that. My style choices vary, and I won't let criticism stop me from relaxing if I ever choose to do so. My style, my hair, my choice. You'd think I'm relaxed because of how much I disagree with the so called choices on the poll and this overall natural supremacy undertone going around but actually I'm just pro choice.

CurlsBazillion
Who's "blasting" anyone??

Idk where some of you are getting the impression that I'm blasting people with a simple question/poll??

Again like I stated in the outset, it was NOT my intention to offend anyone. It wasn't supposed to be anything negative.

And btw....I use "quotation marks" to denote the fact that this comment is not of MY own origin, but of what I have heard OTHERS say. So the poll choices that have quotation marks on them are not intended to be "negative". If you see it that way, then I'm sorry. *shrugs*

Is there a reason why so many of you seem to be so touchy with this subject? I mean, if you're happy relaxing, keep on relaxing! It's not a big deal imo. I was relaxed for 20+ years, so I think I know a little something about relaxed hair.

DISCLAIMER: I'm asking an honest question here because it's quite possible that I'm just dense

For those of u that felt the poll was biased or did not relate to u did the two options (1) easier to manage and (2) prefer straight look not answer what many of u were saying?

I would like to think that the OP wasn't intentionally being biased

Sorry to hijack OP

APrayer4Hair
FINALLY! Someone who understands....

 

[PinkSunshine77]

I DO feel strongly about what *I* do with MY hair actually.

 

[beingofserenity]

^^^ All of this + because I simply want to and that should be enough.

OT: I really don't see many relaxed ladies asking why one went natural. This is coming from an honest and sincere place, not a place of argument as that's not my personality IRL or on the internet. I simply don't see why relaxed hair remains a debated topic. What am I missing on why it's such a big deal? On second thought, never mind, maybe I don't care to know. Carry on ladies.

Maybe not on the hair forums, but in real life people definitely ask that all the time..

 

[PinkSunshine77]

Maybe not on the hair forums, but in real life people definitely ask that all the time..

Honestly there is plenty of ridicule by people who relax, other races etc. towards ladies when they decide to go Natural. This is why many people don't feel comfortable even letting many know, like myself. I am not going to make a huge deal about it and I'd rather not have rude comments from people giving me their 2 cents on why I wish to go Natural.

 

[MaylaMae]

I think that all of those are reasons that Black women relax their hair. However, I think that the more likely reasons are that it has become a part of our culture and we think that straight hair is prettier and more feminine than kinky hair. Relaxing is something you do just because it has always been done, but since it is done so frequently overtime you come to believe that it is better than the not relaxing.

I know so many black girls and women who adore and want long hair. They can recall how long their hair used to be before they began relaxing and they stare in awe at the hair of Black men who easily grow their hair long, but they'd never consider adopting the practices that allow the hair to grow.

Either they were/are completely oblivious to the fact that not relaxing is an option (lol me), felt that natural hair was for children, or just preferred straight hair over natural.

I'd just like to note that I don't believe that the opinion of Black men plays a significant role in women relaxing because most don't like wigs and weaves either, but that ain't stopping us from wearing them.

 

[irisak]

Wow! This thread has gone out of control and has somewhat defeated the purpose imo.


Smh.....

**DISCLAIMER: When I created this thread I did not intend to offend anyone, I was just simply opening the question up for a "healthy" debate/discussion...that's all! It was only a question I thought about after watching this documentary w/my mother the other night. Nothing more.....nothing less. I just wanted to get the viewpoints on the ladies on this board. That's why I said in my original post that there is no "right" or "wrong" answer. It's just your own opinion.






Yea it's funny because when I was younger, it was never questioned either. It was just something we did. I don't think I thought too deeply about it really, I just think that because most black women had relaxed hair, that just seemed to be the norm for me, so I never ever questioned it. *shrugs*

Plus, I would say that even just 10 years ago, being "natural" was synonymous with either wearing an afro, or dreads, and since I didn't think that either would look right on me, I swore at one point to "never go natural". Times have definitely changed though, I think that we have more knowledge and even products within the past 10 years than we ever had before in regards to natural hair.




So so true.





@pelohello

Yea, I think this is probably the MAIN reason why a lot of women choose to relax honestly.

Now do you think that our hair would be easier to manage and style if our hair were the majority? In other words...because AA hair is the most DIFFERENT from any other race out here, do you think that they have not invented tools/products that cause our hair to be "easier" to manage simply because we are the minority? OR, do you think that our hair is just "inherently" more "difficult" to manage?? If straight hair were the minority, do you think it would be difficult to upkeep that type of hair too? Does this make sense? Idk if you can understand what I'm trying to ask....

I've always wondered that.... :scratchch






Well unfortunately I couldn't put down EVERY single little reason, otherwise that poll would be MAJORLY long!

But I tried to put down the reasons that I've heard people say the MOST.





Sorry if you feel that my poll was "biased"....I didn't intend on it to be that way at all. I felt it covered a wide range of different reasons why SOME people may relax their own hair, OR why they *THINK* other black women relax their hair.

This post wasn't intending to be a "Relaxed vs. Natural" war debate, and I'm kind of sad that it seems to be turning into that.





How are the options ALL "negative"??

How are:
-Easier managebility
-I feel I look better w/relaxed or straight hair
-Force of habit
-The reasons have changed over the years....

"Negative" options on a poll??

These are ALL reasons why SOME people relax their hair. These reasons may not pertain personally for YOU but that doesn't mean it is negative and doesn't pertain to others.

Plus, human nature states that we as humans do things for either one of 2 reasons: For Pleasure, or to lessen Pain. So if YOU choose to relax it must either bring you pleasure or evade you from pain. I would say the same to anyone who is natural.





@Ogoma
I figure whatever tools/plants they were using to do their hair in Africa.

Keep in mind, many were taken from their homes, cultures and even family members that they knew of and put in a strange country, with a strange climate, etc. I don't think it's far fetched to believe that this put a lot of AA ancestors in a difficult position with regards to doing their hair. Oh, and let's not forget the stress from slavery in itself!





@CurlsBazillion
Who's "blasting" anyone??

Idk where some of you are getting the impression that I'm blasting people with a simple question/poll??

Again like I stated in the outset, it was NOT my intention to offend anyone. It wasn't supposed to be anything negative.

And btw....I use "quotation marks" to denote the fact that this comment is not of MY own origin, but of what I have heard OTHERS say. So the poll choices that have quotation marks on them are not intended to be "negative". If you see it that way, then I'm sorry. *shrugs*

Is there a reason why so many of you seem to be so touchy with this subject? I mean, if you're happy relaxing, keep on relaxing! It's not a big deal imo. I was relaxed for 20+ years, so I think I know a little something about relaxed hair.




@APrayer4Hair
FINALLY! Someone who understands....

Okay OP I'm sorry if no bias was intended. You spend enough time on hair boards and you kinda know a) where this thread was going b) at least one person was going to claim black women have self hate issues and I know I'm a sexy biznayitch relaxed or natural c) the natural nazis and the life long relaxers were going to have a gang shoot out d) if anyone had the ballz to admit that they relax because they hate kinky hair they would be ran out in tears and the list goes on.

I understand the curiosity but I think black women spend too much time worrying about what other black woman are doing to their hair. No shade to the op just in general. For example, I saw 8,000,0000,0000 comments about Gabby's hair and meanwhile she's and Olympic gymnast. You don't hear white women walking up to each other talmabout "girl is that your hair?"

 

[Nix08]

When other races change the texture of their hair, straight to curly, curly to straight what is the reasoning behind that, is it not style?

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

^^^ All of this + because I simply want to and that should be enough.

OT: I really don't see many relaxed ladies asking why one went natural. This is coming from an honest and sincere place, not a place of argument as that's not my personality IRL or on the internet. I simply don't see why relaxed hair remains a debated topic. What am I missing on why it's such a big deal? On second thought, never mind, maybe I don't care to know. Carry on ladies.

Wow....I didn't realize relaxed hair was such a debate on here. Actually I thought the "natural" hair debate was more so involved than relaxed hair. I thought relaxed hair was the "default"!!

Honestly though, even relaxed ladies HAVE asked me why I went natural, so it does happen. I don't get offended, I just answer them honestly. Plain and simple. Questions don't bother me as long as they are coming from a place of general interest and wanting to learn. You can ask the craziest question and I won't flinch.

I think some need to keep in mind that not ALL questions are intended to offend/be snarky/or stir up contention. SOMETIMES people ask questions simply because they just want to know your opinions/thoughts on a particular topic. It opens things up and makes things interesting imo.

If we never went through life asking questions, how boring would that be??

*shrugs* Idk...I guess I never expected this thread/question to turn out like this. I usually spend most of my time on the ET board, so I haven't been on this board like I used to.

Perhaps I should just remain on the ET board from now on.....

Okay OP I'm sorry if no bias was intended. You spend enough time on hair boards and you kinda know a) where this thread was going b) at least one person was going to claim black women have self hate issues and I know I'm a sexy biznayitch relaxed or natural c) the natural nazis and the life long relaxers were going to have a gang shoot out d) if anyone had the ballz to admit that they relax because they hate kinky hair they would be ran out in tears and the list goes on.

I understand the curiosity but I think black women spend too much time worrying about what other black woman are doing to their hair. No shade to the op just in general. For example, I saw 8,000,0000,0000 comments about Gabby's hair and meanwhile she's and Olympic gymnast. You don't hear white women walking up to each other talmabout "girl is that your hair?"

Honestly I had no idea this was going to spark up such a debate.

It wasn't a question asked to judge or put down others. I really just wanted to know people's HONEST opinion on why they feel black women in GENERAL tend to relax their hair. You can add your own personal reasons of course, but I was just asking an innocent question.

The movie and the discussion w/my mom sparked up the question in my mind.

If people are giving their honest reasons/answers, then I'm cool with that! Even if someone were to say: "I hate my kinky hair", I'm like okay....that's cool! I just wanted HONEST responses. No judging, no "hating", just honest topic for discussion.

But....it seems like this has turned into something else...erplexed

When other races change the texture of their hair, straight to curly, curly to straight what is the reasoning behind that, is it not style?

Well first of all, I really don't think we can honestly put women of other races and African American women and the historical reasons behind OUR hair practices together in the same boat. I'm sorry.....that's just not imo possible. That's like saying that a white woman and a black woman have had the same experiences in the US just because they are simply WOMEN. Nuhhh uh....

However, I WILL say that even WHITE women do conform and straighten and blow out their wavy or curly hair every morning, and if you ask them why, they say they do it to get it straight. So even WHITE women (yes...even THEM!) have the pressure to "conform" and get their hair as straight and "sleek" as possible.

So if it affects them, why do you think it wouldn't affect US??

I know some people say they relax/go natural because they "WANT TO", but even the reason for WANTING to has a reason.

If you don't want to state it, then that's perfectly fine!

I was just trying to open up a topic for discussion. Nothing more....nothing less.

 

[Southernbella.]

For me it was because that's all I knew. Like a pp, when I saw natural hair, I thought the "perm didnt take".

I will never go back to relaxers but I liked my relaxed hair when I had it. I'm just over it now. Too much work and too permanent. Natural hair, now that I know how to take care of it, is easier.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF

 

[ravenhairedcharm]

I voted for--
-Trying to "assimilate" into white culture and conform to a European standard of beauty
-Just a force of habit...it's just ingrained in black culture
-Black women don't know how/haven't been taught how to care for their natural hair


I'll be honest I most prefer smooth, straight styles on myself, but I do like some curly styles as well. I think people still fear coming to grips with the fact that the European standard of beauty does in fact have a great effect on what they see as beautiful, especially if you are bombarded by these images 24/7 and your family has the same ideas about beauty. Many may fear betraying a part of themselves or being looked upon as a self-hater for an opinion that straighter hair is better, so it's easier to use excuses like manageability. It may not be everyone, but let's be serious here.

Whether you like it or not relaxing and straightening the hair is a relic of the past, a way that blacks tried to look closer in appearance to whites and appease them in a way. Today, for most I don't think it's about trying to be white or look white, but straightening our hair makes our appearance more mainstream and acceptable to society. I think it's ok to wear your hair straight as long as it's taken care of properly. Anyway, people should be more honest with themselves or at least learn some of their history, but the truth hurts and ignorance is bliss. Just my take.

 

[gabulldawg]

I can't speak for anyone but myself. I relax for the convenience. I don't have time to set aside 2+ hours a day/week to do my hair.

 

[Nix08]

Crystalicequeen123 I'm not being argumentative and likewise just contributing to the discussion. Other races relax as well that's why I posed my question. Some who have straight hair get perms and like a curly style. I'm one of those that don't think it's that deep for a lot of people. But like you I'm just stating my opinion be it right or wrong.

 

[Kerryann]

wwwwwooooooooo lord some of us go hard in the paint

If i was to relax again i would do it because these ssk are killing me. I do love my natural hair its a lot of work at times but i like the fact that i can go str8 or curly or whatever.... sh*t i still don't see what the hell is the big deal with hair... as long as i take care of my hair im good who cares about other heads

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

For me it was because that's all I knew. Like a pp, when I saw natural hair, I thought the "perm didnt take".

I will never go back to relaxers but I liked my relaxed hair when I had it. I'm just over it now. Too much work and too permanent. Natural hair, now that I know how to take care of it, is easier.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF

southernbella
I want some tips...

Because to me...I wouldn't say natural hair is "easier" for me....but it is easier in some respects. Idk...it's hard to explain. For example, it's "easier" in the fact that if I get water on it, I don't have to worry about what I need to do to get it straight again. I don't have to blowdry it or sit under a dryer doing a rollerset.

BUT, at the same time, I find that it is more "work" in the respect of trying to comb or detangle or brush it like you would straight hair. That's why I have always wondered whether or not if we STOPPED trying to care for kinky hair like we care for straight hair, would our hair in a sense become "easier to manage"?? :scratchch I've always wondered that.

Or, if the majority of the products on the market for black hair were geared more towards WORKING WITH our natural texture instead of trying to make it do something it doesn't naturally do in the first place, would we find that our hair is just as manageable as straight hair?

Crystalicequeen123 I'm not being argumentative and likewise just contributing to the discussion. Other races relax as well that's why I posed my question. Some who have straight hair get perms and like a curly style. I'm one of those that don't think it's that deep for a lot of people. But like you I'm just stating my opinion be it right or wrong.

Yep, you're right...some people get perms to be curly and some get perms to be straight, etc. I find that a lot of times people just want what they don't have lol. Some want a look that's different or a look that THEY think looks better on them (whatever that may be). I know a lot of Asians back when I was in school used to get curly perms because their hair does not naturally curl, nor does it really hold curls much so they would tell me. So......idk....maybe sometimes people just want a change.

But I would still say that people going from curly to straight STILL outnumber those going from straight to curly.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I voted for--
-Trying to "assimilate" into white culture and conform to a European standard of beauty
-Just a force of habit...it's just ingrained in black culture
-Black women don't know how/haven't been taught how to care for their natural hair


I'll be honest I most prefer smooth, straight styles on myself, but I do like some curly styles as well. I think people still fear coming to grips with the fact that the European standard of beauty does in fact have a great effect on what they see as beautiful, especially if you are bombarded by these images 24/7 and your family has the same ideas about beauty. Many may fear betraying a part of themselves or being looked upon as a self-hater for an opinion that straighter hair is better, so it's easier to use excuses like manageability. It may not be everyone, but let's be serious here.

Whether you like it or not relaxing and straightening the hair is a relic of the past, a way that blacks tried to look closer in appearance to whites and appease them in a way. Today, for most I don't think it's about trying to be white or look white, but straightening our hair makes our appearance more mainstream and acceptable to society. I think it's ok to wear your hair straight as long as it's taken care of properly. Anyway, people should be more honest with themselves or at least learn some of their history, but the truth hurts and ignorance is bliss. Just my take.

simplyevanescent

You put this VERY well.

I think this is also another underlying reason too...but I don't want to get kicked out of this thread for being too "negative".

 

[B_Phlyy]

DISCLAIMER: I'm asking an honest question here because it's quite possible that I'm just dense

For those of u that felt the poll was biased or did not relate to u did the two options (1) easier to manage and (2) prefer straight look not answer what many of u were saying?

I would like to think that the OP wasn't intentionally being biased

Sorry to hijack OP

Agreed. I think people answered on a personal level when the OP was asking about a general population. Yes I know that black women and their hair are not a monolith, but outside of the internet, there are very common themes/reasons about why black women relax their hair. The bolded below is what I thought the main question was.

Why DO the majority of black women (in general) relax their hair?

One can have their personal reasons for relaxing while also acknowledging that is not the main reason others make the same choice.

I picked 3 options, but 2 of them go hand in hand IMO. Most people who tell me they feel relaxed hair is more manageable is because they never learned how to take care of their natural hair. Maybe they've been relaxed since forever or their mom did an okay job [with their natural hair] and then turned their hair over to them and they couldn't handle it. Either way, natural hairstyles weren't necessarily negative, just unattainable for them.

I also think that some women feel they look better with relaxed hair. And for some, this is indeed very true. Their are so many wig and weave options now to see what different styles/lengths/colors look best on you without you having to risk damage to your own hair. Even though I never plan on getting another relaxer, there are some straightened styles that I prefer on myself to the natural equivalent.

 

[LadyBklyn]

Im relaxed, and I relax because I HATE big hair on me, and I sweat entirely to much to be trying to blow dry and flat iron all the time. Smh I'd probably be bald trying to keep it straight. And when I WAS natural I hated it because my hair is weird, like I never had the black power fro lol it always kinda flopped. My puffs never looked quite right. My natural hair kinda looks like I rinsed out my relaxer to soon. Lol It NEVER looked like y'all naturals on here with ya beautiful curls. It's not a self hate thing or anything like that. I LOVE My hair and I'm PROUD to be black. I get accused of being everything else under the sun. BUT, black is what I am, and I wouldn't want to be anything else!

 

[Qtee]

I'm natural (have been for 3 years) but I will be relaxed in a couple weeks. My choice for relaxing isn't about me not loving my texture. Or not knowing how to care for my hair in its natural texture. I love my hair. I love my curls. I hate shrinkage and I miss straight hair. I also just want relaxed hair. It's a styling choice..I choose to stop relaxing. Not because my hair was broken or any deeper reason. Just a styling choice for that too..

 

[grownwomanaz]

I pray that one day, in the near future lol, that this ceases to be an issue amongst us. Everybody knows what time it is when they start these type of threads I just wish we could discuss the reasons without the negative under/over tones lol. No shade at all at OP.

 

[BostonMaria]

I voted "just a force of habit"
For some of us (I'm a 70's child) getting a relaxer meant you were now "grown." Like a coming of age thing. I think people just did it because its something you just did and didn't think about it.

Now that I'm older and can make my own choices, I choose not to relax my hair. I do like straight styles, but don't have to put harsh chemicals in my hair to achieve the look.

 

[lovebug10]

So for the 10 people who voted "underlying self hate" I'd like to hear your explanation for choosing so. I'm hoping that you voted based on your own experiences and are not making an assumption towards all women with relaxed hair.

And while you're at it, please answer the following questions:
1) Do you wear makeup?
2) Have you ever installed weave, tracks, clip ins, phony ponies or any type hair thats not your own (i.e. grown from your own scalp)
3) Do you ever use heat on your hair?
4) Do you have an issue with shrinkage?
5) Have you ever used products to take the kinks/ kinyness from your hair to achieve more "defined" curls?
6) Have you ever had a relaxer?
7) Have you ever worn makeup?
8) Do you wear colored contacts?
9) Have you ever gotten or thought about getting any form of plastic surgery?
10) Have you ever worn a breast enhancing bra or a bra with any kind of padding built in?
11) Have you ever worn a girdle, a tummy cincher, spanx, or some kind of undergarment that smoothes your body and hides any bulges/ rolls?

If you answered yes to these questions then it means that you must not love yourself and that you are not satisfied with your "natural" appearance which ultimately proves that you must be suffering from self hate.

 

[wednesday]

All of the above....

 

[sunnieb]

Is anybody really surprised at how this thread went down? I mean, really????

We can't have this discussion because:

1) Naturals will claim there is really an "underlying" reason for relaxing and we just refuse to admit it

2) Relaxed heads will be accused of being too sensitive and defensive

3) Naturals will go on about how they came to the end of a spiritual and cultural journey and can't understand why anyone would hate what God gave them

4) Relaxed heads will ask if any naturals color or wear weave

And off to the races!

Does anyone NOT know that relaxers were invented because blacks wanted to blend in more with the white folk???

Okie dokie.

However, this is 2012, and as I said before we have choices now.

 

[lovebug10]

Is anybody really surprised at how this thread went down? I mean, really????

We can't have this discussion because:

1) Naturals will claim there is really and "underlying" reason for relaxing and we just refuse to admit it

2) Relaxed heads will be accused of being too sensitive and defensive

3) Naturals will go on about how they came to end of a spiritual and cultural journey and can't understand why anyone would hate what God gave them

4) Relaxed heads will ask if any naturals color or wear weave

And off to the races!

Does anyone NOT know that relaxers were invented because blacks wanted to blend in more with the white folk???

Okie dokie.

However, this is 2012, and as I said before we have choices now.

sunnieb
Just because that was their original purpose does not mean thats why we choose to have them now. A long time ago white slave owners slept with black slaves to satisfy their sexual desires. A lot of them would end up with mulatto (half white/ half black children) that the white wives were disgusted with because it was evidence that their white husband would succumb to sleeping with the help.

So if we go by what you're saying, then today if we see a white guy dating a black girl then 1) he must not really love her and 2) he's only using her and taking advantage of her being weak just to fulfill his sexual desires.

Another example, a long time ago ties were used as a status indicator. Some prints/ designs on ties were representative of your societal rank, whether or not you attended an ivy league school, and were very indicative of how much money you had. Nowadays, ties are considered standard professional attire for men. Does this mean that all of a sudden that every man who wears a tie in 2012 is trying to show off his status and wealth. No it doesn't. Just because the tie was created for one reason today it is seen as something else. In the same way that a relaxer was created for one reason a long time ago however today it can be viewed as something else.

 

[Southernbella.]

southernbella
I want some tips...

Because to me...I wouldn't say natural hair is "easier" for me....but it is easier in some respects. Idk...it's hard to explain. For example, it's "easier" in the fact that if I get water on it, I don't have to worry about what I need to do to get it straight again. I don't have to blowdry it or sit under a dryer doing a rollerset.

BUT, at the same time, I find that it is more "work" in the respect of trying to comb or detangle or brush it like you would straight hair. That's why I have always wondered whether or not if we STOPPED trying to care for kinky hair like we care for straight hair, would our hair in a sense become "easier to manage"?? :scratchch I've always wondered that.

Or, if the majority of the products on the market for black hair were geared more towards WORKING WITH our natural texture instead of trying to make it do something it doesn't naturally do in the first place, would we find that our hair is just as manageable as straight hair?

Bingo. You know how many times I comb or brush my hair in a month? Maybe twice. I can get 2-3 weeks out of a twistout. I wore a high bun for the entire summer semester recently because I was too busy to do anything else. And since I'm natural, I'm not beholden to that straight hair aesthetic so I dont have to worry about my edges or getting it sleek. I'm telling you, once you have a routine and, as you said, stop treating natural hair like it's relaxed and stop looking at it with a straight hair aesthetic in mind, it's very easy.

For me, all the stuff that comes along with relaxing would be a manageability problem at this stage in the game.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF

 

[sunnieb]

lovebug10 - I'm right there with ya girl.

I stated the bolded because that seems to be the "underlying" reason for relaxing that we get accused of.

Yes, just because that was the original reason, doesn't mean it's still true for us today.

Obviously we all can point to a black woman we know who won't be seen in pubic with so much as a kink.

Choices is what it's all about. Some just refuse to believe that we relax simply because we want to. No underlying issues going on here.

 

[KiWiStyle]

Why do we even care what someone else chooses to do to their hair?? REALLY? I'm relaxed because I want to be, no rhyme or reason, just because I choose to. I don't understand why it matters to some people what others choose to do to their hair, bodies, etc. relaxing, perming, texlaxing, natural, braids, weaves, wigs, braud outs, twist outs, long hair, short hair; They are all styling choices. Why do you eat what you eat? Because you choose to! Why do you dress the way you do? Because you choose to! Why do you work where you do? Because you choose to! I can go on and on and on. IT'S A PERSONAL CHOICE PEOPLE!

This is not directed towards anyone in particular, just my two cents. BTW, I think people who start these types of threads are attention getters, nothing more or less.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF