POLL: Why do YOU think Black Women Relax Their Hair??

Why (in YOUR opinion) do the majority of black women relax their hair?

  • Black men prefer straight hair

    Votes: 35 10.3%

  • Trying to "assimilate" into white culture and conform to a European standard of beauty

    Votes: 62 18.2%

  • It makes our hair easier to "manage"

    Votes: 164 48.1%

  • Black women just feel like they look better with relaxed hair.....there's no "deep reason" for it

    Votes: 92 27.0%

  • Just a force of habit...it's just ingrained in black culture

    Votes: 124 36.4%

  • Underlying Self-hate

    Votes: 33 9.7%

  • Black women don't know how/haven't been taught how to care for their natural hair

    Votes: 146 42.8%

  • The reasons have evolved/changed over the years, so it's hard to really say

    Votes: 84 24.6%
  • Total voters
    341
  • Poll closed .
sunnieb said:
Since this thread keeps getting bumped, I’ll jump in once again. :look:

Several questions/comments have been presented since my last response so I’ve chosen a few to answer in no particular order:

*What does manageable mean? - Sounds like a cliché, but it’s different for every person. Some women choose to go around bone straight 25/8 (relaxed and naturals can do this). Others, will sit for up to 8 hours getting braids/weave so they won’t have to touch their hair for months on end (again, relaxed and naturals).

Those two options aren’t for me. I just want to look presentable everyday without all the muss and fuss. That means that I now relax bone straight around 3 times a year. I also don’t use any direct heat whatsoever. I’m walking around today with all my hair pulled back showing off every kink, napp, and coil my 15 weeks post hairline can offer. I’m good. It’s manageable for me. Why do so many naturals have an issue this statement?

*What does manageable look like? For me, the look is clean, moisturized, and styled.

*Relaxing bone straight is asking for a nonstop cycle of breakage – Chemically straightening the hair does in fact weaken the natural strength which can lead to breakage. However, properly taking care of relaxed hair is the key. So many black women do not know how to take care of their hair period. They also don’t care to learn. Let’s not act like we don’t see some busted up fros out there walking right next to the chewed up relaxed ends.

Ladies, we have all found LHCF for one reason or another, and I think the common factor is that we all wanted healthier hair. Some of us were “enlightened” and chose to go natural. Others were “enlightened” to realize that it is possible to grow long, healthy relaxed hair with the proper care. Who’s to say which enlightened path is better than the other???

For the record, I’ve never handled my natural hair as an adult and I don’t plan to until my hair reaches booty-length – AND? Does that make me a bad person? Self-hating, less-black, a liar, don’t want to admit that I hate my natural hair – what?

I’ll answer that. It makes me a black woman who has a choice on how I wear my hair. Simple as that. As of right now, I’m proudly and resoundingly bone-laxed, straighter than skrait, chemically induced relaxed. :yep:
Click to expand...

Well said.

Sent from my HTC EVO using LHCF. any spelling errors should be blamed on auto-correct.
 
Honey Bee said:
2. You're responding to and co-signing everybody who says what you obviously believe: self-hate.

Both of which lead me to believe you aren't really interested in the responses of women who are relaxed. It's that simple. No subliminals required.
Click to expand...

Lol so Im not that only one that noticed that she claims not wnting to offend realx headsa, this thread is innocent blah blah yet at the same time thanking and applauding those calling it self hate

yea makes alot of sense :rolleyes:
 
sunnieb said:
Since this thread keeps getting bumped, I’ll jump in once again. :look:

Several questions/comments have been presented since my last response so I’ve chosen a few to answer in no particular order:

*What does manageable mean? - Sounds like a cliché, but it’s different for every person. Some women choose to go around bone straight 25/8 (relaxed and naturals can do this). Others, will sit for up to 8 hours getting braids/weave so they won’t have to touch their hair for months on end (again, relaxed and naturals).

Those two options aren’t for me. I just want to look presentable everyday without all the muss and fuss. That means that I now relax bone straight around 3 times a year. I also don’t use any direct heat whatsoever. I’m walking around today with all my hair pulled back showing off every kink, napp, and coil my 15 weeks post hairline can offer. I’m good. It’s manageable for me. Why do so many naturals have an issue this statement?

*What does manageable look like? For me, the look is clean, moisturized, and styled.

*Relaxing bone straight is asking for a nonstop cycle of breakage – Chemically straightening the hair does in fact weaken the natural strength which can lead to breakage. However, properly taking care of relaxed hair is the key. So many black women do not know how to take care of their hair period. They also don’t care to learn. Let’s not act like we don’t see some busted up fros out there walking right next to the chewed up relaxed ends.

Ladies, we have all found LHCF for one reason or another, and I think the common factor is that we all wanted healthier hair. Some of us were “enlightened” and chose to go natural. Others were “enlightened” to realize that it is possible to grow long, healthy relaxed hair with the proper care. Who’s to say which enlightened path is better than the other???

For the record, I’ve never handled my natural hair as an adult and I don’t plan to until my hair reaches booty-length – AND? Does that make me a bad person? Self-hating, less-black, a liar, don’t want to admit that I hate my natural hair – what?

I’ll answer that. It makes me a black woman who has a choice on how I wear my hair. Simple as that. As of right now, I’m proudly and resoundingly bone-laxed, straighter than skrait, chemically induced relaxed. :yep:
Click to expand...

I see more chewed up relaxed hair than busted up fros though. You make some good points but TOO MANY women who relax don't have a single clue as to how to properly care for it.
 
Bozcurls said:
I see more chewed up relaxed hair than busted up fros though. You make some good points but TOO MANY women who relax don't have a single clue as to how to properly care for it.
Click to expand...

And they don't care. As long as they can go to a salon and get their hair "laid" when need be, it's all good. I know because this was me a few years back. It wasn't until I got fed up with being SL year after year that I began to research haircare.

I wish all black women cared about their hair like we do, but they don't.

Sent from my Comet using LHCF
 
I think it is unfortunate how this thread went down. I wish it was easier for people to not get offended so easily and instead consider what the OP was really asking. She didn't say any of the thoughts in the poll were her own. She merely posed a question and everyone got all up in arms. :nono: it's not that anyone is overly concerned with what YOU are personally doing to UR hair, but y the vast majority (or maybe not as much now...idk I don't have the statistics) of BW DO relax.
 
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APrayer4Hair said:
I think it is unfortunate how this thread went down. I wish it was easier for people to not get offended so easily and instead consider what the OP was really asking. She didn't say any of the thoughts in the poll were her own. She merely posed a question and everyone got all up in arms. :nono: it's not that anyone is overly concerned with what YOU are personally doing to UR hair, but y the vast majority (or maybe not as much now...idk I don't have the statistics) of BW DO relax.
Click to expand...

Hi

I guarantee you that most women who relax (on LHCF) do not relax for those reasons. the poll options only had two semi ok choices and the rest were bad. NONE of those options apply to alot of women here(especially) or IRL. I don't understand how people can keep making bad assumptions about relaxed women and not expect for us to get offended. Even if OP did not come out and say it the poll choices speak for themselves and the choices people chose to go with. Its kinda like an indirect attack on women who relax....IMO.
 
Presenting a different view does not mean a poster is offended.

Although it appears that anytime a relaxed head responds in one of "these" threads, we're automatically slapped with the offended label. :ohwell:

Sent from my Comet using LHCF
 
sunnieb said:
Presenting a different view does not mean a poster is offended.

Although it appears that anytime a relaxed head responds in one of "these" threads, we're automatically slapped with the offended label. :ohwell:

Sent from my Comet using LHCF
Click to expand...

I'm not familiar with how these type of threads usually go because I haven't been on the scene very long. And IMO many of the responses seemed very "I do it because I want to and it's my hair so y are u worried about it". Maybe these responses were a result of how "these" threads usually go and spoken out of exasperation. I wouldn't know.
 
IMFOCSD said:
Hi

I guarantee you that most women who relax (on LHCF) do not relax for those reasons. the poll options only had two semi ok choices and the rest were bad. NONE of those options apply to alot of women here(especially) or IRL. I don't understand how people can keep making bad assumptions about relaxed women and not expect for us to get offended. Even if OP did not come out and say it the poll choices speak for themselves and the choices people chose to go with. Its kinda like an indirect attack on women who relax....IMO.
Click to expand...

I don't know if my post came across as if I agreed with the negative connotations.I dont assume any reasons why people do what they do but i aknowledge what those reasons might be. I consider myself a realist and I DO think that some of the negative connotations hold true 4 some. Probably not for the majority of the women on Lhcf...otherwise u wouldn't be here. But us "healthy hair nazis" are the minority. I have nothing against relaxers and no qualms about relaxing again if I see fit for whatever reason.
 
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I relaxed because at age 19 I had never seen my hair straight. Was in love with that for about 6 years.

I find both types equally difficult to manage and maintain the longer my hair gets.

Different experiences but for me getting a touch up and detangling sessions are equally ****ey.
 
I'm new but I've lurked on this thread for a while... I wonder if the op ever plans to straighten her hair, or will she forever fro it? I relax because I can't see myself trying to maintain natural hair. That doesn't mean I don't look at some natural heads and salivate...and at others and throw up in my mouth a little, same with relaxed hair. Is makeup self hate? Or exercise- because a lot of ladies aren't naturally thin and I don't mean exercise for health, I mean exercise for a certain body shape you don't naturally have. How about spanx, my husband thinks they're the most dishonest things ever.
 
As it was already said in the thread, there are a variety of answers. But here is a quote from my aunt when I told her she shouldn't relax her hair every week,"Nuh-uh, I'm black I NEED a relaxer." I'll just leave that here for you all to analyze.
 
RibzyMitzi7 said:
As it was already said in the thread, there are a variety of answers. But here is a quote from my aunt when I told her she shouldn't relax her hair every week,"Nuh-uh, I'm black I NEED a relaxer." I'll just leave that here for you all to analyze.
Click to expand...

Every week????
 
Because they prefer the look of straight hair

It's all they know

It's what they like

They can't braid

They don't like twists or big hairstyles

Some want to fit in

some of these are the reasons why I was relaxed. I am not speaking for all, but some.
 
Some can't deal with their curly, or kinky hair (they don't have the patience to slowly detangle it or the time), they think they are suppose to do it eventually (embedded in the black community ), some feel they won't stand out and want to blend in with the rest of the world by having straight hair, they have more retention with straight hair.

And the most important reason, IT'S THEIR HAIR AND THEY CAN DO WHAT THEY WANT. LIFE IS SHORT, DO WHAT YOU WANT.

JUST like many people color their hair, wear wigs and weaves, we can relax. Everyone doesn't have to agree with what you do to your hair
 
May sound "out there" or unlikely but I have a hypothetical question: What would happen if relaxers suddenly became unavailable?
 
AmethystLily said:
May sound "out there" or unlikely but I have a hypothetical question: What would happen if relaxers suddenly became unavailable?
Click to expand...

What do you think would happen? All the relaxed heads would run around screaming in terror??? :lachen:

Meh, we'd adapt and move on. Heat straighten, roller set, whatever.
 
AmethystLily said:
May sound "out there" or unlikely but I have a hypothetical question: What would happen if relaxers suddenly became unavailable?
Click to expand...

there are other ways to straighten your hair and some might go completely natural or keep the new growth and straighten it to blend in or vise versa until the gradually cut it off. Wouldn't be a big deal for me
 
Since the title of this thread is why do you think women relax their hair my response is I don't think about it at all. It's their hair they can do what they want
 
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