POLL: Why do YOU think Black Women Relax Their Hair??

[Crystalicequeen123]

This is just a topic for light-hearted discussion.....

Okay, so just the other night my mom and I (both natural) were watching Chris Rock's documentary "Good Hair", and we sort of got into a little debate.

My mom claims that the reason why black women relax their hair is because: 1) Black MEN prefer straight hair, and because 2) White people feel more "comfortable" around us with straight hair than with natural hair.

Well, I somewhat disagreed and retorted that I believe that Black men only like "straight hair" because that is what they've been RAISED seeing in the black community. I think that if the majority of black women wore natural hair, then black men would (eventually) come to like more curly/natural hair on black women. I also stated that while in the past I'm sure white people back then DID feel more "comfortable" seeing our hair straight, I think the reasons why black women use relaxers have changed over the years, and I honestly don't think white people pay that much attention to "us" anyway to really care too much either way.

It's funny because this little debate sort of brought up a pretty good question: Why DO the majority of black women (in general) relax their hair? There's no right/wrong answer, this is just your personal feeling on the matter.

What is YOUR Opinion? (You can choose more than one choice on the poll)
-Black Men prefer it
-Our hair is "easier" to "manage"
-Our hair looks "better" straight
-It's just become the "norm" so everyone does it and nobody asks any questions
-The reasons vary

 

[LucieLoo12]

Well I use to think it was because it was easier to manage. But I have heard alot of comments lately saying that natural hair is nappy and it's not cute. My friend went natural and she had BEAUTIFUL thick hair but she went back to relaxers because she said she felt ugly. Now her relaxed her is broken off and she is going back natural..soooooo

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

Originally, because our hair was harder to manage in its natural state, and it was social acceptance IMO.

Now, I think women still relax because they are still struggling with handling (or accept how they look with) their hair in its natural state...even though we have lots and lots of options and guidance on how to handle our natural hair....

 

[LucieLoo12]

So true....natural hair is alot of work.

 

[Charla]

I was relaxed only because it was what I was raised to do from a young child. I was never taught that there was actually an alternative of NOT getting a relaxer. And I suppose too that I didn't see natural hair growing up. Although in hindsight, I'm sure I saw a few naturals and wondered why their hair wasn't "done".

I just didn't know my relaxed hair wasn't natural...because I knew it wasn't fake.

 

[Leesh]

Its more to do with preference and what you deem looks good on you...

I know certain styles in general just do not look nice on my big head or my long face...So for me that has more to do with it.

I do believe this rings true for a lot of women, but sadly, with some its a whole nother case...

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Well I use to think it was because it was easier to manage. But I have heard alot of comments lately saying that natural hair is nappy and it's not cute. My friend went natural and she had BEAUTIFUL thick hair but she went back to relaxers because she said she felt ugly. Now her relaxed her is broken off and she is going back natural..soooooo

Awww...that's a shame!!

I detest that word "nappy" btw. I never use that word to describe my (OR others) hair. I think it's like the "N-word" in many respects. It's a word we in the black community have embraced, but it is imo offensive when people use it to talk about other people's AA hair.

Did your friend get a lot of backlash/rude comments when she went natural? Or did SHE personally just not feel "cute"??

Originally, because our hair was harder to manage in its natural state, and it was social acceptance IMO.

Now, I think women still relax because they are still struggling with handling (or accept how they look with) their hair in its natural state...even though we have lots and lots of options and guidance on how to handle our natural hair....

Yea, I think at FIRST black women relaxed/straightened w/heat because let's face it.....when slaves were brought over here to the US many of us didn't have access to the tools we would need in order to do OUR hair. When would we even have time to do our hair? We were working out in the hot fields all day. So of course as generations passed, we didn't have the knowledge or tools in order to teach our daughters how to do their own coily hair in a strange new country, and so generations of black women grew up not really knowing how to TRULY care for OUR type of textured hair. So what did we do?? We tried to get it straight like the white women so that our hair would be like theirs. They knew how to take care of their straight hair, so we figured that it would be "easier" if our hair was straight also.

And of course with the invention of the relaxer by Madame C. J. Walker, we no longer needed to use excessive amounts of heat to get our hair pressed straight.

But then...I think over time, the reasons for relaxing changed.

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

I was relaxed only because it was what I was raised to do from a young child. I was never taught that there was actually an alternative of NOT getting a relaxer. And I suppose too that I didn't see natural hair growing up. Although in hindsight, I'm sure I saw a few naturals and wondered why their hair wasn't "done".

I just didn't know my relaxed hair wasn't natural...because I knew it wasn't fake.

You are so right. When I saw someone wasn't relaxed I was like:

1) Can she not afford a relaxer?
2) Did it not take good?
3) Why isn't her hair "done"?

Culture....smh.

 

[LucieLoo12]

Did your friend get a lot of backlash/rude comments when she went natural? Or did SHE personally just not feel "cute"??

She already had her own insecurities about the way she looked being natural,so when someone told her she look like she was from Africa, and that it didnt look right on her. So that was like the hair that broke the camels back. She was never comfortable with it in the first place. So she chopped it off

Thats why I tell ANYONE who is going natural to have your mind made up. Do it because YOU want to feel beautiful to YOURSELF. Society has so many different views of what beautiful is, you would be jumping through loops all day to meet them. Going Natural must be for YOU, because when you go through your "rough" stage...doing if for YOU will make you be able to do endure it.

 

[CurlsBazillion]

I understand that a lot of us grew up with having relaxers and I'm sure the mentality of your hair ain't nice without a fresh touch up at any length is still how some think. I'd like to believe no one is trying to conform to european beauty, and not even hating their natural hair, in my mind its no more than a styling choice. If I decided to no longer be natural and get a relaxer, just as I did 9-10 years ago, it wouldn't be for any other reason but a styling choice.

 

[bibs]

I got my first relaxer in 9th grade because my mom decided to stop doing my hair and I couldn't manage it myself. It was always dry and brittle and I wore it in a ponytail everyday. When I got a relaxer I could actually run a comb and brush through it and do styles my relaxed and white friends were doing.

Even when my hair started breaking off and thinning it didn't occur to me to go back because I'd learned to prefer how my relaxed hair looked. I stopped relaxing and BC'd almost 2 years ago and I still sometimes miss being relaxed and having an easy go to straight style instead of having to flat iron for hours, but I prefer the versatility of my natural hair.

 

[Guinan]

I was natural for 6 yrs and it was sooo much work. My stylist told me about texturizers and I have been getting a texturizer for 7yrs (1-2x a yr). I luv my natural hair but I was spending hours doing my hair and didn't really enjoy it. My hair still has lots of texture but it's just easier for me to manage.

 

[LaToya28]

For me right now it's all about convenience. Natural hair takes a lot of work and I just don't have time to spend 2-3 hours twisting/braiding my own hair. I have already have two heads to do and soon I'll have another (see baby below) I'd love to transition, but once I'm natural what would I do with my hair on a daily basis? I have weak edges so pulling it back in a puff is out of the question...

 

[sunnieb]

I'll be back.

Sent from my Comet using LHCF

 

[bellebebe]

I didn't vote because I didn't feel that your options given did not representing everyone. I do, however, think most black women relax for manageability.

 

[Britt]

Managebility and appearance. I think it's as simple as that for many of us. Most of us don't know how to manage our natural texture and don't have the time, interest or patience that natural hair requires. Also, many prefer straighter styles. I don't think for all relaxed heads it's as deep as it seems. Not many of us have the time or interest to deal w/ ssk's, detangling, and styling our natural hair texture. Straight hair requires less effort and time for many of us. You can wash n set or whatever, and comb quickly and go. My cousin has shoulder length natural hair and I haven't seen her real hair in at least 12 years, she is constantly weaved up or some type of braids. Growing up, she had very fine hair and her permed hair was even more fine. She will not wear her own natural hair out b/c she said it just takes too much time for her, so she weaves it up.

 

[MrsJaiDiva]

Growing up there were 3 options. Relaxed, braids, or dreads. The only people who were "Natural" were Wite/Hispanic/Asian or Mixed....or poor people. My hair was usually in a half relaxed/half natural state cause I was poor. When I started working, and making my own money I was relaxed. Everyone was relaxed/braided/dreads.

Lol, now I see sooo many naturals! I think women who are still relaxing today are either
A. Scared that if they go Natural, they'll be a type 4.
B. Have been relaxed for So long, they don't know any other way
C. Have a hard time caring for Natural Hair
And
D. Don't care about hair...it's just an accessory, like a hat. They'll dye it, weave it, shave one side of it...whatever. They're not going to commit to one hairstyle cause it's boring.

Honestly, if I wasn't a curly girl I'd go back to being relaxed. I love wearing my hair out, and I'm not a big styling fan. I don't want to have it in twists, and braids all the time, and I'm not really into weaves & wigs. I like MY hair...out, and blowing in the wind. Hence WnG's are my FAVORITE style, and how I'm wearing my hair 100% of the time.

 

[AudraChanell]

None of these apply to me. I prefer my hiar staight, but Im texturized. I dont like to wear my hair curly, but I do sometimes

 

[AudraChanell]

Neither did I, but I agree manageability. Clearly the poster is biased and linking the way you wear your hair to some sort of self-hate and I dont subscribe to that at all. Im just unapologetically prissy, prefer my hair straight, and like options. I also paint my nails every two days and my hair is an accessory that I love to play with at my whim.

I love all thinks beauty and hair...thinking of getting a weave.

I havent had one in since last summer, but I have worn my cilp ins.

I see relaxing your hair no different from the style of clothing, makeup, earrings, shoes, music, you like. DO You regardless of why you like it

I didn't vote because I didn't feel that your options given did not representing everyone. I do, however, think most black women relax for manageability.

 

[Britt]

I was natural for 6 yrs and it was sooo much work. My stylist told me about texturizers and I have been getting a texturizer for 7yrs (1-2x a yr). I luv my natural hair but I was spending hours doing my hair and didn't really enjoy it. My hair still has lots of texture but it's just easier for me to manage.

I hear you! I'm heavily contemplating relaxing no more than 2x/yr and doing a texlax. Right now I'm weaved up, and it's just sooo easy for the most part and best it looks like my real hair. I don't have the patience or desire to sit back and continue to detangle and twist up my hair too much. I will either transition to texlaxed hair or be a heat trained natural. I do not see myself spending hours on my hair to do it... absolutely DO NOT. pelohello what do you texturize with and how long do you leave the relaxer on your hair for?

 

[SmileyNY]

The options are all negative & biased, in my opinion... and none of them apply to me. I know how to manage my natural hair... I was natural for 8 years. I definitely don't have any "self hate" issues. I'm not doing it for a man and I don't want to be white

I'm texlaxed. Manageability may be a perk (For a hot minute. I only texlax 3 times per year, so I'm dealing with 2 textures most of the time. That takes patience and hard work), but it's not the main reason. My hair takes to moisture better, my ends are thicker, and my hair has never been longer. The truth is, my hair thrives better with the texlax & I like showing my length. Long story short: I relax because I want to and it works for me. We need an option for that

 

[Mjon912]

Same reason white women do...I think I look better/ I prefer straight hair... There's no point in me trying to be something I'm not and go natural. While I love natural hair on others I prefer the sleek straight polished look of my relaxed/Textlaxed hair

 

[Boujoichic]

I think a lot of women relax because it's kind of become a right of passage little girls anticipate the day when they can get their first relaxer. It's been the norm for so many of us for a long time that we don't even consider other options. A lot of women still consider natural hair to be unsightly and undone.

As far as natural hair being more work it couldn't be further from the truth for me. I can wash and go if I'm truly being lazy, or bun. I don't do a lot of elaborate styles when I do a twistout I do a maximum of 6 twist. Doing my hair has never been as fast and easy as it is now.

 

[Britt]

Neither did I, but I agree manageability. Clearly the poster is biased and linking the way you wear your hair to some sort of self-hate and I dont subscribe to that at all. Im just unapologetically prissy, prefer my hair straight, and like options. I also paint my nails every two days and my hair is an accessory that I love to play with at my whim.

I love all thinks beauty and hair...thinking of getting a weave.

I havent had one in since last summer, but I have worn my cilp ins.

I see relaxing your hair no different from the style of clothing, makeup, earrings, shoes, music, you like. DO You regardless of why you like it

AudraChanell I just love the bolded... that's exactly how I feel about myself and I'm just ok with that I too love all things beauty and hair related. You also have a beautiful THICK head of relaxed hair, but it's obvious your hair is texlaxed and that you don't relax often. You have a pretty good balance I'm currently in a weave for the first time ever and I'm loving it so far, I didn't think this would be my experience. The only thing I'm anxious about is the take down process. But I'll take my time and deal with my hair.

 

[beingofserenity]

She already had her own insecurities about the way she looked being natural,so when someone told her she look like she was from Africa, and that it didnt look right on her. So that was like the hair that broke the camels back. She was never comfortable with it in the first place. So she chopped it off

Thats why I tell ANYONE who is going natural to have your mind made up. Do it because YOU want to feel beautiful to YOURSELF. Society has so many different views of what beautiful is, you would be jumping through loops all day to meet them. Going Natural must be for YOU, because when you go through your "rough" stage...doing if for YOU will make you be able to do endure it.

You're right about that. That's always been my struggle. When my hair is straightened or I'm wearing extensions everywhere I go, men stare, stop me, talk to me, harass me. Wearing my hair short and natural all of that is cut down. Not completely but for the most part it feels like I go from getting lots and lots of attention to hearing crickets. Possibly that has to do with the length or style? Dunno. Good thing my boyfriend LOVES my hair otherwise it would be much harder to feel confident.

 

[yaya24]

Off of the forums--

-It's just become the "norm" so everyone does it and nobody asks any questions

And I agree natural hair is alot of work.

 

[sunnieb]

My reasons:

I love relaxed hair!

My hair/scalp can take it. I don't burn or get scabs. I'm also a bone-skrait self-relaxer. I leave it on for 20 minutes minimum.

I love the manageability and quick styling. The fact that this is in quotes in the poll implies we can't feel this way I suppose.

I love the heat-free versatility. I can go from curly to straight to wavy to poofy via a cowash and airdry.

I love seeing my length.

I've never wanted to look white or maintain some European standard of beauty. All the stylish women I looked up to were black and some were natural.

The women I know who still relax don't talk negatively about their hair. It's not that deep for them. I'm also noticing a few of them talking about going natural one day.

It's good to have choices.

Sent from my Comet using LHCF

 

[irisak]

I didn't vote in the poll because the options do seem very subjuctive, however I think most black women relax for aesthetic reasons. The same way European woman wore white wigs that they powdered in the 1700's or the Burma wear neck rings to make their necks look 2 feet long. Beauty is a societal construct and in our culture straight hair is what most of the trendy hair styles are done with. IMO a lot of woman who go natural do it for the same reason, it's another hair trend but you look like you're making a statement. I relax because I like to wear my hair straight and if it's not relaxed it curls up even while I'm still straightening it. I was actually natural until I was 14 so I am familiar with both my natural and relaxed hair and because I have very fine hair that won't hold a style and I'm not beat for all the work that a "wash and go" consists of I continue to relax/texlax.

 

[AudraChanell]

Brittster, it's something so SPECIAL about being a girl!

I <3 it, it's a joy and YES that means playing in my hair and making it pretty as often or different as I like.

Yaaaay, see! You should have fun and love all your various hairstyling options without being labeled. Who pissed off the devil after a bad relaxer and became a yardstick or Hair Nazi? I will not tolerate anyone pointing and telling me what I should do with my hair. Puuuuhlease It will be fine and it's not hard as you think, all hair requires learning how to take care of it. As long as you like it, wear your hair as KINKY or Straight as you want!

AudraChanell I just love the bolded... that's exactly how I feel about myself and I'm just ok with that I too love all things beauty and hair related. You also have a beautiful THICK head of relaxed hair, but it's obvious your hair is texlaxed and that you don't relax often. You have a pretty good balance I'm currently in a weave for the first time ever and I'm loving it so far, I didn't think this would be my experience. The only thing I'm anxious about is the take down process. But I'll take my time and deal with my hair.

 

[Ogoma]

My mother had and loved her natural hair until I was about 5, but was pressured by her brother to relax because she was behind the times . I first relaxed my hair at 13 because I thought that was what grownups did and I wanted to be an adult. My mom, aunts, and older sisters all had relaxers at that time.

I kept relaxing my hair just because. I never thought about it or questioned it. I think black women relax their hair for as varied reasons as there are black women. I believe white discomfort, for lack of a better word, with natural hair only started in the last 30 or so years when it became a representative symbol of the black movement. While emulating a white ideal may have been the reason people straightened before then, I am not sure if we can solely blame their "discomfort" on why some people straightened their texture.