POLL: Why do YOU think Black Women Relax Their Hair??

[Dposh167]

I relax cuz I don't want natural hair right now. No deep rooted issue. No black men reason either. So I guess that falls under manageability.

 

[Ogoma]

Yea, I think at FIRST black women relaxed/straightened w/heat because let's face it.....when slaves were brought over here to the US many of us didn't have access to the tools we would need in order to do OUR hair. When would we even have time to do our hair? We were working out in the hot fields all day. So of course as generations passed, we didn't have the knowledge or tools in order to teach our daughters how to do their own coily hair in a strange new country, and so generations of black women grew up not really knowing how to TRULY care for OUR type of textured hair. So what did we do?? We tried to get it straight like the white women so that our hair would be like theirs. They knew how to take care of their straight hair, so we figured that it would be "easier" if our hair was straight also.



But then...I think over time, the reasons for relaxing changed.

What tools do you think they were missing?

 

[lamaria211]

You're right about that. That's always been my struggle. When my hair is straightened or I'm wearing extensions everywhere I go, men stare, stop me, talk to me, harass me. Wearing my hair short and natural all of that is cut down. Not completely but for the most part it feels like I go from getting lots and lots of attention to hearing crickets. Possibly that has to do with the length or style? Dunno.






IMHO I think this has a lot to do with why a lot of women relax even if they dont choose to admit it just my opinion.

 

[Britt]

@Brittster, it's something so SPECIAL about being a girl!

I <3 it, it's a joy and YES that means playing in my hair and making it pretty as often or different as I like.

Yaaaay, see! You should have fun and love all your various hairstyling options without being labeled. Who pissed off the devil after a bad relaxer and became a yardstick or Hair Nazi? I will not tolerate anyone pointing and telling me what I should do with my hair. Puuuuhlease It will be fine and it's not hard as you think, all hair requires learning how to take care of it. As long as you like it, wear your hair as KINKY or Straight as you want!

Amen!!!

I relax cuz I don't want natural hair right now. No deep rooted issue. No black men reason either. So I guess that falls under manageability.

Yepppp ....

 

[Ogoma]

I think a lot of women relax because it's kind of become a right of passage little girls anticipate the day when they can get their first relaxer. It's been the norm for so many of us for a long time that we don't even consider other options. A lot of women still consider natural hair to be unsightly and undone.

As far as natural hair being more work it couldn't be further from the truth for me. I can wash and go if I'm truly being lazy, or bun. I don't do a lot of elaborate styles when I do a twistout I do a maximum of 6 twist. Doing my hair has never been as fast and easy as it is now.

Same here. I am doing the same bunning I did with my relaxed hair with my natural hair. The things I have added are detangling and I have a greater interest in my hair so I am experimenting more with it.

 

[CurlsBazillion]

This thread is kinda ridiculous op. If I'm not natural (everything other than hair) enough you blast me, if I relax you put me down by telling me I hate myself, if I color my hair you take my natural card. I see some are saying their reasoning is manageability and natural hair taking hours to style...not for me not even if I was at my goal, but I respect that. My style choices vary, and I won't let criticism stop me from relaxing if I ever choose to do so. My style, my hair, my choice. You'd think I'm relaxed because of how much I disagree with the so called choices on the poll and this overall natural supremacy undertone going around but actually I'm just pro choice.

 

[doll-baby]

After 3 years of being natural I recently chose to go back to the relaxer because unfortunately my hair did not reap any benefits from being natural...

I really did try though erplexed

 

[APrayer4Hair]

DISCLAIMER: I'm asking an honest question here because it's quite possible that I'm just dense

For those of u that felt the poll was biased or did not relate to u did the two options (1) easier to manage and (2) prefer straight look not answer what many of u were saying?

I would like to think that the OP wasn't intentionally being biased

Sorry to hijack OP

 

[Supergirl]

I can speak for me: I like my hair relaxed, and I really don't want to put forth the effort it would take to maintain my hair in its natural state.

 

[irisak]

DISCLAIMER: I'm asking an honest question here because it's quite possible that I'm just dense

For those of u that felt the poll was biased or did not relate to u did the two options (1) easier to manage and (2) prefer straight look not answer what many of u were saying?

I would like to think that the OP wasn't intentionally being biased

Sorry to hijack OP

IMO because those are the only two semi-positive reasons in the poll, and one is in quotes it just seemed too biased.

 

[candy626]

Manageability and I think some people feel like they blend in more with straight hair (just like other races of women with curly hair who straighten daily).

I'm glad to see more people embracing curls/kinks/naps these days though. It seems to be a really big movement in NC to go natural. It's refreshing to see.

 

[SmileyNY]

DISCLAIMER: I'm asking an honest question here because it's quite possible that I'm just dense

For those of u that felt the poll was biased or did not relate to u did the two options (1) easier to manage and (2) prefer straight look not answer what many of u were saying?

I would like to think that the OP wasn't intentionally being biased

Sorry to hijack OP

@APrayer4Hair

(1) easier to manage - because it doesn't apply to me. That is not my reason. Period. I texlax 3 times per year, so the "easier to manage" part doesn't apply to my hair most of the time. Caring for 2 textures requires just as much time and patience (if not more) than caring for natural hair.

(2) prefer straight look - Quite simply... My hair is not straight. Not all relaxed hair is straight hair. I have to flat iron my hair to get it straight... and I only do that a couple times per year.

 

[lilanie]

I think there is less *prep* with relaxed hair, but it's more delicate (in my experience) than natural hair.

I've been both.

I wouldn't trade my natural hair for a relaxer for anything in the world, now.

 

[loved]

I'm 5 months into being natural & I have given myself a 2 year window to see how my hair turns out. If I go back to a relaxer it will be because:

I want to see & experience the length of my hair. Not happening w/my tightly coiled natural. It actually gets tighter during the night.
I want to run a comb through my hair.
I want my hair to bounce & swing.

One thing I am no enjoying about my BC is that my hair looks the same everyday. I miss styling options but my options might be limited if I were relaxed too because my hair is short for now.

 

[Nix08]

My reasons:

I love relaxed hair!

My hair/scalp can take it. I don't burn or get scabs. I'm also a bone-skrait self-relaxer. I leave it on for 20 minutes minimum.

I love the manageability and quick styling. The fact that this is in quotes in the poll implies we can't feel this way I suppose.

I love the heat-free versatility. I can go from curly to straight to wavy to poofy via a cowash and airdry.

I love seeing my length.

I've never wanted to look white or maintain some European standard of beauty. All the stylish women I looked up to were black and some were natural.

The women I know who still relax don't talk negatively about their hair. It's not that deep for them. I'm also noticing a few of them talking about going natural one day.

It's good to have choices.

Sent from my Comet using LHCF

What she said I too love my relaxed hair. If I were to go natural I'd have to be a straightened natural (because I prefer straight hair), and I wouldn't have the options that I do now day to day with a simple cowash and airdry.
I think it's apparent that we have choices (these days) and choose to wear our hair how we feel we look best.

 

[hair4romheaven]

I didn't see "just because they want too" as a choice but that would be my reason. Just because I want to! Nothing else.

 

[divachyk]

My reasons:

I love relaxed hair!

My hair/scalp can take it. I don't burn or get scabs. I'm also a bone-skrait self-relaxer. I leave it on for 20 minutes minimum.

I love the manageability and quick styling. The fact that this is in quotes in the poll implies we can't feel this way I suppose.

I love the heat-free versatility. I can go from curly to straight to wavy to poofy via a cowash and airdry.

I love seeing my length.

I've never wanted to look white or maintain some European standard of beauty. All the stylish women I looked up to were black and some were natural.

The women I know who still relax don't talk negatively about their hair. It's not that deep for them. I'm also noticing a few of them talking about going natural one day.

It's good to have choices.

Sent from my Comet using LHCF

What she said I too love my relaxed hair. If I were to go natural I'd have to be a straightened natural (because I prefer straight hair), and I wouldn't have the options that I do now day to day with a simple cowash and airdry.
I think it's apparent that we have choices (these days) and choose to wear our hair how we feel we look best.

^^^ All of this + because I simply want to and that should be enough.

OT: I really don't see many relaxed ladies asking why one went natural. This is coming from an honest and sincere place, not a place of argument as that's not my personality IRL or on the internet. I simply don't see why relaxed hair remains a debated topic. What am I missing on why it's such a big deal? On second thought, never mind, maybe I don't care to know. Carry on ladies.

 

[Guinan]

I hear you! I'm heavily contemplating relaxing no more than 2x/yr and doing a texlax. Right now I'm weaved up, and it's just sooo easy for the most part and best it looks like my real hair. I don't have the patience or desire to sit back and continue to detangle and twist up my hair too much. I will either transition to texlaxed hair or be a heat trained natural. I do not see myself spending hours on my hair to do it... absolutely DO NOT. @pelohello what do you texturize with and how long do you leave the relaxer on your hair for?

I use Mizani butter blends for sensitive scalp but I'm switching to soft textures texturizer next year.

My stylist doesn't leave it on too long (mainly b/c I burn soooo easily), maybe no more than 5min per section of 4's (if that makes sense) and she doesn't comb it in too much.

I do love my natural hair and even with me getting a texturizer I still wear my hair like I did when it was natural. There is always pros and cons with getting a relaxer. Like I just had an incident where I got really bad scalp burn from my last relaxer. B/c of that I am switching to a even milder texturizer and will be doing it myself instead of going to a stylist. I think that will be the hard part is finding a stylist that wont comb it in too much or leave it in too long. I think most stylist think that we want bone straight hair.

Good Luck w/ your decision!!

 

[lovebug10]

I didn't vote because I didn't feel that your options given did not representing everyone. I do, however, think most black women relax for manageability.

Agreed. I feel like most of these options are kind of negative. Whats wrong with the fact that I simply like relaxing my hair. I know my natural hair because I was pretty much Natural till 13, got a texturizer grew it out till 16 and then relaxed. As a matter of fact I LOVE my natural hair. However, I also LOVE my hair straight more. I like the way it looks when it blows in the wind. I like sleekness. And no I don't prefer straight hair because the white man told me to or because I hate myself. Where's the option that says because we WANT to. No ones tying me to a chair forcing me to slap a relaxer on my head! I am a grown woman and I have a relaxer because I CHOSE this and WANT this.

I'm tired of people associating relaxers with some kind of negativity and self hatred but then being natural as the next thing better than the coming of Jesus Christ. If you are natural and you believe that relaxed ladies are trying to assimilate or hate themselves then you better not be wearing weave. Why are you weaving it up? Isn't your natural hair good enough. You also shouldn't wear makeup. Because if you were so confident in your beauty then you wouldn't wear make up because thats showing that you aren't confident in your looks and that you don't look good in your natural state. And if you wear makeup and choose to "contour" your face to give yourself a slimmer nose and such... whats wrong? You don't like your African features coming out? Also you wouldn't wear colored contact lenses because whats wrong with the God given eye color that you were born with? Also for you ladies who don't let your hair out in its truly KINKY state. I'm talking about no heat, no diffusing, no shingling, no excessive curing custard and styling products You really must not love your self. I know some naturals who claim they love their natural hair yet they will only wear their 4ZZZ hair unless they can find a miracle product to make it look like 3a or unless they apply heat or something. And not because they are scared of SSKs and whatnot but because they dont like their hair out unless it looks like a silkier hair texture. Does that mean they only want "good hair" and they don't love what they got and they must hate all their african roots?

Just my 2 cents

 

[Hairsofab]

I started relaxing my hair for manageability and length. I found that the longer my hair got as a natural the harder it was to detangle and the single strand knots were killing my length. If I wanted to stay having shorter hair I would've stayed natural but I do want longer hair. I also don't feel like I have to spend as much time on my hair now that I've relaxed. So its kinda freeing in that respect.

 

[Naturae]

I agree with those who said the poll options were a bit on the negative side. I opted for the last one because everyone has their reasons why they relax. I didn't even know what a relaxer was until I turned 13 and even at that point in time wasn't allowed to get one. My father wouldn't allow it. My sisters and I all had waist length, natural hair. The first time I relaxed I was 14/15 years old. It was dry, brittle and looked like goats had been chewing on my ends. So after 10 yrs of dealing w/ that plus half ax stylists who didnt know what they were doing i decided to go DIY natural. Having been natural for 6 years then moving to a state where the climate is RIDICULOUSLY humid, plus starting a new job that wouldn't allow me the time it took to take care of my hair in its natural state I decided to texlax. I can't speak for the general population but as for me the combination of manageability, versatility, and effortlessness are the factors that made me decide to texlax. I may go natural again after my hubby and I start a family because at that point I'll be a stay at home mom. Who knows!

Sent from my iPad using LHCF

 

[MsDes]

Some of those options really do apply to some black women. Let's stop acting like it ain't true. Some really do dislike their natural hair. I hear it all the time. They tell me "You can rock the natural, I can't, my hair is too nappy and looks a hot mess."

 

[PinkSunshine77]

A Combination of all of those things and I'll give my reasons:

1. They have been brainwashed from young to believe that the White standard of beauty is the only standard of beauty. Nappy,coarse or Kinky hair is bad and straight, sleek like the Europeans is better.

2. Laziness. They don't wish to try to get to know their hair. They would rather use chemicals to make it more convenient for them regardless of how damaging it is to their hair.

3. Some ladies prefer their hair straight more often than not, for no reason other than manageability (which still to me says there are internal mental issues about how they see their natural hair)

4. Some ladies don't like Curly hair styles.

5. They do not love their hair the way God intended for it to grow out of their Scalps. If they did, they wouldn't alter it.

If you really thought your natural hair was beautiful, you wouldn't dare use a Relaxer to straighten or a texturizer to change it.

5. Worried about what their white Coworkers, Man, and family will say about their hair.

6. Have a poor self image of themselves with their natural hair.

That being said, I do not feel strongly about it one way or another. I am simply giving my opinion as to why I believe ladies are still relaxing their hair. I am transitioning,but I in no way feel that I am better than anyone else. I never will. People can do with their hair whatever they want. I truly believe though, that altering any part of your body is saying that you don't like or are not satisfied with it. We, as black women need to start embracing ourselves. That includes everything from our real nails, our real hair and the fact that our hair grows out of our scalp kinky.

 

[japalena]

For me ... it makes my hair easier to manage. I just took down a sew-in and haven't had a relaxer in about 14 weeks. My hair is so thick and unmanageable right now it's not even funny. I just like to be able to comb through my hair with ease. Without a relaxer, my hair is just dull and hard to comb. I can't pull it back, lay it down or do anything with it. It's like wool. I don't like that feel or that look. But, that's just me.

 

[NaturalTaurus]

I was relaxed only because it was what I was raised to do from a young child. I was never taught that there was actually an alternative of NOT getting a relaxer. And I suppose too that I didn't see natural hair growing up. Although in hindsight, I'm sure I saw a few naturals and wondered why their hair wasn't "done".

I just didn't know my relaxed hair wasn't natural...because I knew it wasn't fake.
__________________




I agree. I got my hair relaxed at an early age because my mom said "I asked for one". I wish she would've waited until I was old enough to understand what a relaxer really is. I think she relaxed my hair also because it was easier for her to manage. My mom is also relaxed and so was her mother, so I think it's a habit passed down from other generations. Most black women just don't know how to take care of their natural hair because they've been relaxed for a long time and have no recollection of what their natural hair is like. My aunt who is in her late 40's just went natural and she's asking me about how to care for her natural hair. I think education is power. That's why I'm enjoying every moment of this Natural Hair Movement. I think it's an evolution of black women and our culture which is much needed.

 

[SmileyNY]

A Combination of all of those things and I'll give my reasons:

1. They have been brainwashed from young to believe that the White standard of beauty is the only standard of beauty. Nappy,coarse or Kinky hair is bad and straight, sleek like the Europeans is better.

2. Laziness. They don't wish to try to get to know their hair. They would rather use chemicals to make it more convenient for them regardless of how damaging it is to their hair.

3. Some ladies prefer their hair straight more often than not, for no reason other than manageability (which still to me says there are internal mental issues about how they see their natural hair)

4. Some ladies don't like Curly hair styles.

5. They do not love their hair the way God intended for it to grow out of their Scalps. If they did, they wouldn't alter it.

If you really thought your natural hair was beautiful, you wouldn't dare use a Relaxer to straighten or a texturizer to change it.

5. Worried about what their white Coworkers, Man, and family will say about their hair.

6. Have a poor self image of themselves with their natural hair.

That being said, I do not feel strongly about it one way or another. I am simply giving my opinion as to why I believe ladies are still relaxing their hair. I am transitioning,but I in no way feel that I am better than anyone else. I never will. People can do with their hair whatever they want. I truly believe though, that altering any part of your body is saying that you don't like or are not satisfied with it. We, as black women need to start embracing ourselves. That includes everything from our real nails, our real hair and the fact that our hair grows out of our scalp kinky.

Are you relaxed and speaking for yourself or speaking for others? ...because if you are speaking for others, there's a whole lot of accusing, judging, and patronizing going on in that post and it's more than a bit ridiculous. Also, if you are speaking for others... the bolded can't be true. You obviously feel strongly. That's for sure

Either way, it doesn't matter. Your opinion is yours. I'm just giving my opinion of it

 

[MystiqueBabe]

It's just a preference. Some women just like their hair to be straight. Others had no choice and are just used to their hair being relaxed. I prefer my hair natural.

The common reason is manageability and that varies. Natural hair is NOT hard to manage. Unless I and DCing my hair, It generally takes me 10-15 mins to wash, detangle, and condition my hair. And that is for both my fully natural, transitioning, and relaxed hair. Regardless of length and I have been NL-BSL. I can easily put my hair in a bun or ponytail and be presentable. Only complaint I have is frizz but that is easily controlled.

Relaxed hair is harder to manage, imo. You just can't get a relaxer and call it a day. The constant upkeep for the weakened hair strands among other reasons makes it harder to manage. And most relaxed hair that I see (of course , outside lhcf) doesnt look all that great. It doesn't move, swing, or shine it's just...there. And I believe it has little to do with being white. I think it just happens to be something thats ingrained in the culture or that some women are just used to their hair being relaxed. Also the fact that a lot of black women don't know how to care for their hair period with or w/o a relaxer.

 

[My Friend]

I think the reason has changed over the years. How I feel about a relaxer now is not what I think the majority feels or how my mom's generation felt about relaxers then

 

[reeko43]

I first relaxed due to peer pressure on the day of my prom. Never could afford to before and a cousin paid for it. She wanted me to look nice. I liked the manageability of the perms. I guess I got tired of standing in the kitchen detangling and hot combing. After awhile I really had no reason. I needed a touch up and I got it. I loved my straight styles. If I were lazy and didn't comb through every day it wasn't hard to detangle. I didn't view going natural as an option because I wasn't about to cut all of my hair off (the only option I knew about at the time). My head is too big

I only decided to go natural because my hair is thinning due to health issues and when I moved I couldn't find a hair dresser that I liked. Now that I am natural, I definitely see the benefits of both natural and relaxed hair. I would choose either for style options and ease of styling. I have actually received more attention from men since I have gone natural. I am now used to it and am happy with my choice.

 

[Ogoma]

I selected the last option because the reasons vary for every black woman. I honestly do not think is that deep for a lot of people.