Only dating people who are raised in a two-parent home

[Jade Feria]

Well that sort of thinking will certainly shorten the available suitor pool for you single women who buy into to this way of thinking. What are the stats again for the % of BW who will never be married or engaged?

Actually it doesn't..the whole premise of a SUITor is one who SUITS your standards. So it stays the same.

 

[Mortons]

well as you've seen from some posters, all that is "cute" at first, after marriage is when you finally see the truth aka usually how their upbringing affected them.

Thats true in some instances. As a whole, I still dont buy it

 

[Maynard]

I never heard of this until I met my boo.

He told me that part of his dating criteria was that he refuses to date women who weren't raised with their fathers or had "Daddy issues"...apparently he had alot of issues in the past and felt he had more in common with people that were raised in the same way he was.

To each his own. If you can knock someone off the list for being too short, too skinny or too fat, surely you can knock them off the list for their family situation. Sure...people can't help it, but people also cant help being too short...and I dont see any of y'all crusading for Bushwick Bill..

 

[MoniintheMiddle]

Let me just say that two parent households does not equal a successful, well-rounded individual. My DH grew up with both his parents in the home as did I but let me tell you, his folks but the D is dysfunctional. DH still has issues now because of it. But hey, if that's what folks look for then so be it but I just hope that they're not thinking that two-parent households always mean common values

 

[femalegold]

MzRhonda,

Thank you for sharing your story!! I hope things get better for you! I must admit you have open my eyes to seeing and asking more questions when getting to know a man. I don't really ask the questions of how do they feel about a woman staying at home or getting there input on how they feel about being in different situations. This thread has been a little emotional for me because I don't come from a two-parent home but, it is very interesting to read the views on others on this subject.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Let me just say that two parent households does not equal a successful, well-rounded individual. My DH grew up with both his parents in the home as did I but let me tell you, his folks but the D is dysfunctional. DH still has issues now because of it. But hey, if that's what folks look for then so be it but I just hope that they're not thinking that two-parent households always mean common values

I'd like to point out that your husband who came from a dysfunctional 2 parent home still ended up getting married. So even coming from a dysfunctional background, he still saw the value of marriage.

In my experience, the 'marriage is just a piece of paper' more times than not came from men who grew up outside of one. For a marriage minded woman, there's no point in going forward with someone with that attitude.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think another disconnect is that usually a date or two (the kind that involve conversation) occurs before coming to the conclusion to dismiss someone based on dissimilar family, marriage values. I doubt anyone here is saying "Hi, were your parents married? No, well it was nice to have met you. Buh-Bye" The way that most people meet, there's no way you'd have that information before actually going out at least once. You can't look at people and tell they are from a single parent home. You can take a wild guess, but you can't absolutely know.

 

[Southernbella.]

Perhaps a part of this is that a great many black people were raised in single-parent homes, making it hypocritical to judge those who have also been raised in these situations.

If a person comes from a two-parent home and wants to marry someone else that did and really believes in its importance, then great. But that perspective comes from the privilege of having been raised by two parents. If that wasn't your upbringing, there's no way you can turn and dismiss out of hand anyone else that was raised in a single parent home, unless you're going to make the same judgment about yourself.

Great post. I was raised by a divorced single mother. What I look like having hard and fast rules about the parentage of my potential mate?

My dh grew up in the same situation I did, so in that way, we are equally yoked. We are both committed to our family in part because of the way we were raised.

But yeah, if you grew up in a nuclear family, I can see why you'd have that criterion. I hope my children do.

 

[Southernbella.]

^^^^Now that would be an interesting conversation.

In general, I think that people trust what they know. If I ran into someone who had been raised in divorce who only wanted to consider people who came from two-parent homes, I'd think they were reaching. But I think that stuff like that comes from what you've grown to know and trust. If two parents brought love and stability and goodness to a person's life and they see how beneficial it was to them, then it only makes sense that they would look for someone else that had experienced the same.

Personally, as someone who didn't have both parents in the home, I don't have that frame of reference regarding how it impacts a person's character. I'm sure that a loving two-parent home would be a wonderful experience. But I couldn't say how that translates to someone being a better person, better potential spouse, etc. Not that I'm questioning it, just saying that that is not my frame of reference. From being around my friends' families, I know that growing up in a two-parent home would have been better for me and my siblings, but I can't say that it would have made us better people or that my friends raised in 2-parent homes have a better/easier time with their own relationships...they don't. So, I don't necessarily see the connection between 2-parent home and great spouse, or even the correlation, esp. given how it seems that nearly all the parents of my peers are divorcing and the vast majority of them were raised by married parents. idk.

I can say, however, that I've had some really great conversations with young men whose fathers left early and that has deeply impacted who they understand themselves to be and created in them a determination to be the best husband and fathers that they can be. Given that we had that shared experience, we could relate to one another and could trust the development of character that that experience wrought in us. To me if someone has really dealt with their family issues, it tells me that they know how to handle adversity, know the consequences of divorce, and are likely going to be more determined to refuse to allow it to play out again in their life. I know this is how I am, and it's also the perspective of other people who have experienced the same.

A person who was raised in a 2-parent home might not be able to understand that or be able to trust it. That's fine, everyone goes by what they know and trust.

Another great post!

 

[Southernbella.]

or what they don't see they will be. I agree with everything especially the bolded. I think men need that 2 parent household for that very reason and it DOES affect them women on the other hand not so much so.

MzRhonda, I'm sorry about what you're going through.

Now that I think on it, my dh did have a very strong male influence in our pastor. He was basically "adopted" by him, and taught how to be a man. If not for that...I don't know.erplexed

 

[MuziqizLyfe]

My parents divorced when I was young and my dad kind of dropped out of my life. My mom was/is one of those super black women, put herself through law school when my sister and I were young, made good money and provided us with everything we needed and most of what we wanted. I had a good childhood with a great education and lots of wonderful experiences that helped make me the person I am today. I also have many of her traits and am accomplished and extremely capable.

Having said all of that, it wasn't until I was married that I truly saw the value of the 2 parent home and its impact on the children that are raised in it. I have been married for 13 years and there are still some days that I am brought to tears just watching my husband interact with our children. You don't know the true impact a loving father has on children until you experience it on a regular basis. Your experiences as a child do affect the adult you will become. It can affect you in positive ways and/or negative ways...and many times, a person is able to turn those negatives into positives (fe:working harder to make a marriage work because you are a child of divorce) So there is something to be said for not making this a deal breaker but to say that coming from a 2 parent household is of no importance when looking for a mate doesn't make any sense when the research on its benefits are clear.

 

[Farida]

The problem is people forget that exceptions are just that -- exceptions.

If the statistics say majority of A turn out to B, it doesn't matter that you know C who turned out to be B. It doesn't negate anything.

You can choose to live your life on exceptions...or arm yourself with the most statistics in your favor, so you have a leg up...and let life take it's course...at least you can say you tried.

 

[sharifeh]

The problem is people forget that exceptions are just that -- exceptions.

If the statistics say majority of A turn out to B, it doesn't matter that you know C who turned out to be B. It doesn't negate anything.

You can choose to live your life on exceptions...or arm yourself with the most statistics in your favor, so you have a leg up...and let life take it's course...at least you can say you tried.

 

[Bunny77]

Wanted to bump this because I just saw, IN PRINT, exactly what some of the posters were talking about.

Note: I'm not linking to this article because I know all the people involved and I will change some names. But trust me, this was a real article in print.

The background is a college football player about to graduate. Good guy, raised by a single mother, no dad around. The son is a very well-mannered, kind young man, etc. She did the best she could with the limited resources she had.

That being said, here's what the son said about his mother...


It was, however, the love of his life, his mother XXXXX that instilled that love in him. I talked with her about that. She told me, “Johnny didn’t want to play football at first. He was afraid to get hurt and didn’t want to be away from me. I made him play. I forced him to try it. He needed to get around men and get some contact. Pretty soon, he was playing out in the yard and putting up trashcans and chairs as defenders. I knew he was hooked when he would take pennies and draw up plays. So many parents kill their kid’s dreams and I wanted to do all I could to make his come alive.”

Johnny has a little bit different thought process. “Looking back I know that my Mom didn’t understand it all. She spent every part of her life dedicated to me. Coach Smith talks about what is important gets your time, and I got my mom’s. She is without a doubt my sweetheart.”

Johnny's term of endearment about being a sweetheart is exactly how he feels. I asked him to expound on what he meant the first time he called her that to me. “My Mom taught me what real love is all about. She taught me by her actions. She is (selfless) and (he paused and said the didn’t want to cry) my whole world. I just don’t know if I could ever get married, what woman could me as much to me as my Mom?”

Johnny’s words brought tears to his mom who said, “We’re close and it was just me and him. I determined that he wouldn’t be a statistic. Uncouth, no manners, and poorly uneducated are not things that will ever be spoke about my son. I would get on him to speak good English and to be a man. I made sure that he knew that football wasn’t the way out of what our life was, the Lord was. The Lord gave him football, but it isn’t football. Favor comes from God not man. When God puts you somewhere, bloom. I wanted him to know that if he lived as a Godly man, favor would come at anything he chose to do. He loved football, but success can come to anyone who lives a Godly life and God will honor them.”


Okay, lovely story, lovely people, great mother... but I think he's going to have a few bumps in the road becoming a husband, and so will his future wife... whenever (or if ever) he makes that decision...

 

[jamaraa]

Well, if this is your written-in-stone criteria, your chances of finding a mate are VERY slim, esp if you're only interested in Americans who are not 1st gen immigrants.

If this is what you want, go for it, but you gotta accept that you may not find it OR you may have to go further afield to get it. Of course, even if your person grew up in a two parent home, that doesn't mean it was a stable or functional one. After all, many women stay in terrible marriages for many reasons, including familial, social, religious, and monetary. Make sure his/her two parents weren't those kind.

Of course, it helps that if you have these standards for others, that you live up to them yourself. Nothing like a hypocrite!

 

[Bunny77]

Well, if this is your written-in-stone criteria, your chances of finding a mate are VERY slim, esp if you're only interested in Americans who are not 1st gen immigrants.

If this is what you want, go for it, but you gotta accept that you may not find it OR you may have to go further afield to get it.

Many of the women on the board who said they've preferred this got exactly what they wanted and are married to said men, so hey... I don't see the problem.

Hasn't really been an issue for me either.

No one's chances of finding a mate HAVE to be VERY slim at all, unless THEY want them to be.

I really don't get the point of folks telling others how "slim" their chances are like men are some rare species that can only be found every once in a blue moon or something.

 

[jamaraa]

SOME women have gotten this, but I doubt MOST have...that's my point. There's the issue of numbers, plain and simple. Most marriages end in divorce in the Western world. If this worked for YOU...great, but it's statistically UNrealistic for most people in the USA. If you add race to it, it's even more so.

I think you're being a bit too optimistic about people's chances of finding a mate if you specifically mean marriage too, depening on what group of people you're talking about. For Blacks, esp. Black women, given their resistance towards IR and BM's lack of desire to marry, it is what it is.

Unless you're apart of a religious group that stresses marriage before sex, you have an increasingly less chance of getting married. Marriage stats are falling all over the Western World.

 

[biancaelyse]

Wanted to bump this because I just saw, IN PRINT, exactly what some of the posters were talking about.

Note: I'm not linking to this article because I know all the people involved and I will change some names. But trust me, this was a real article in print.

The background is a college football player about to graduate. Good guy, raised by a single mother, no dad around. The son is a very well-mannered, kind young man, etc. She did the best she could with the limited resources she had.

That being said, here's what the son said about his mother...


It was, however, the love of his life, his mother XXXXX that instilled that love in him. I talked with her about that. She told me, “Johnny didn’t want to play football at first. He was afraid to get hurt and didn’t want to be away from me. I made him play. I forced him to try it. He needed to get around men and get some contact. Pretty soon, he was playing out in the yard and putting up trashcans and chairs as defenders. I knew he was hooked when he would take pennies and draw up plays. So many parents kill their kid’s dreams and I wanted to do all I could to make his come alive.”

Johnny has a little bit different thought process. “Looking back I know that my Mom didn’t understand it all. She spent every part of her life dedicated to me. Coach Smith talks about what is important gets your time, and I got my mom’s. She is without a doubt my sweetheart.”

Johnny's term of endearment about being a sweetheart is exactly how he feels. I asked him to expound on what he meant the first time he called her that to me. “My Mom taught me what real love is all about. She taught me by her actions. She is (selfless) and (he paused and said the didn’t want to cry) my whole world. I just don’t know if I could ever get married, what woman could me as much to me as my Mom?”

Johnny’s words brought tears to his mom who said, “We’re close and it was just me and him. I determined that he wouldn’t be a statistic. Uncouth, no manners, and poorly uneducated are not things that will ever be spoke about my son. I would get on him to speak good English and to be a man. I made sure that he knew that football wasn’t the way out of what our life was, the Lord was. The Lord gave him football, but it isn’t football. Favor comes from God not man. When God puts you somewhere, bloom. I wanted him to know that if he lived as a Godly man, favor would come at anything he chose to do. He loved football, but success can come to anyone who lives a Godly life and God will honor them.”


Okay, lovely story, lovely people, great mother... but I think he's going to have a few bumps in the road becoming a husband, and so will his future wife... whenever (or if ever) he makes that decision...

Great story about mother and son but what I found even more compelling is the story being told between the lines. I feel for any girl that this man dates or marries since that mother/son bond appears to be so tight. Hopefully Momma can step back when he decides to settle down.

 

[jamaraa]

Many of the women on the board who said they've preferred this got exactly what they wanted and are married to said men, so hey... I don't see the problem.

Hasn't really been an issue for me either.

No one's chances of finding a mate HAVE to be VERY slim at all, unless THEY want them to be.

I really don't get the point of folks telling others how "slim" their chances are like men are some rare species that can only be found every once in a blue moon or something.

Why DIDN'T you just ASK me why I said that rather than being passive-aggressive about it? Sometimes the simplest route is the best route.

I said this because I honestly believe it, for starters. This shouldn't be so hard to comphrend. The facts are the facts, most people in the US divorce and most children will end up being raised by single parents. IF this is what you seek, a person from a 2 parent home, it's best to do some research on demographics.

Telling people basic FACTS are a good way for them to make good decisions and choices. All this airy-fairy nonsense about just "finding" what you seek simply because you seek it is HARDLY A LOGICAL APPROACH. If you want something specific, you go to where you're most likely to find it. Bluntly stated, how is telling the truth harmful unless there's something to hide? If you want someone from a two parent home you have BETTER CHANCES of finding it in certain demographics.

I don't refer to men as "species" BTW (it sounds like you're on a big game hunt ) that leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but if that's what you seek some demos have it more than others. I do know that YOU chose a demo that is more likely to have it, n-est-ce pas?

 

[MuziqizLyfe]

Why DIDN'T you just ASK me why I said that rather than being passive-aggressive about it? Sometimes the simplest route is the best route.

I said this because I honestly believe it, for starters. This shouldn't be so hard to comphrend. The facts are the facts, most people in the US divorce and most children will end up being raised by single parents. IF this is what you seek, a person from a 2 parent home, it's best to do some research on demographics.

What is your proof for saying MOST people in the US divorce and MOST children will be raised by single parents?

 

[Renovating]

Great story about mother and son but what I found even more compelling is the story being told between the lines. I feel for any girl that this man dates or marries since that mother/son bond appears to be so tight. Hopefully Momma can step back when he decides to settle down.

So what do you all suggest for a single mother raising a son? Make sure the mother/son bond isn't too tight? The things she instilled in her son are the same things I am trying to instill in my son.

* For those that will say just don't have a child OOW, too late. Next.

I understand both point of views on this issue, because I was raised in a two parent home. It makes since to prefer someone that is more likely to understand their role as a husband. However, my son is being raised in a single parent home. I try to tell explain to him what his role will be when he becomes a man and is the head of his own household, but even I know that there's nothing like seeing a model of this role on a daily basis while growing up.

 

[Bunny77]

SOME women have gotten this, but I doubt MOST have...that's my point. There's the issue of numbers, plain and simple. Most marriages end in divorce in the Western world. If this worked for YOU...great, but it's statistically UNrealistic for most people in the USA. If you add race to it, it's even more so.

I think you're being a bit too optimistic about people's chances of finding a mate if you specifically mean marriage too, depening on what group of people you're talking about. For Blacks, esp. Black women, given their resistance towards IR and BM's lack of desire to marry, it is what it is.

Unless you're apart of a religious group that stresses marriage before sex, you have an increasingly less chance of getting married. Marriage stats are falling all over the Western World.

I'm a strong believer in the fact that statistics only define you if you want them to.

If you absolutely must have a black man, no question, then yeah, you might be out of luck. However, that ain't my reality, so when I make my points, I'm not thinking of black men only. For all those who want to only focus on black men, good for them, but I couldn't care less and I will speak from my reality that my choices are as vast as I want them to be.

There are plenty of people out there who fit my standard and my chances of getting married are only as low as I let them be. Which means, they won't be low at all.

 

[jamaraa]

What is your proof for saying MOST people in the US divorce and MOST children will be raised by single parents?

Ever heard of the US government and other government's websites........and not being BLIND or in DENIAL?! I don't do grown folks' homework, so if you wanna prove me right or wrong, you gotta do the legwork.

Here's a clue on where to look: research the census (actual and projected) and almost any reliable indicator (such as marriage licenses, prison records, birth certs, etc) of demographic trends will show you that I'm right.

I know many women are invested in fairy tales to their detriment, but if these fairy tales were so true where's the evidence of it? Since BW are the readers/writers here...I'll deal w/ them specifically. How come there are so many unhappily single Black women (or do I have to "prove" that too? ) looking for mates/marriage if there were just tons of men waiting to sweep them off their feet? If there were so many men leaping to get married/remarried, there'd be far fewer single women looking. Common sense and logic don't need stats.

Sitting around and waiting on a mate who fits all these criteria and doing NOTHING but that is as waste of time. If you want something specific, why not go where you're most likely to find it? Arguing w/ a reasonable and logical stance seems odd.

 

[jamaraa]

I'm a strong believer in the fact that statistics only define you if you want them to.

If you absolutely must have a black man, no question, then yeah, you might be out of luck. However, that ain't my reality, so when I make my points, I'm not thinking of black men only. For all those who want to only focus on black men, good for them, but I couldn't care less and I will speak from my reality that my choices are as vast as I want them to be.

There are plenty of people out there who fit my standard and my chances of getting married are only as low as I let them be. Which means, they won't be low at all.

Believe what you want, facts are facts. No stats don't "define" you, but they can be used by you for your gain or detriment. What's wrong w/ using info to better your life? If you want something specific, go where you're most likely to find this. Why is this an issue?

You are talking to and being read by mostly BW....following "conventional wisdom" has created tons of unhappily single women. I simply refuse to add further to THOSE stats. BW need info that will give them agency if they choose to take it, not just more escapsim, IMHO.

 

[Bunny77]

Why DIDN'T you just ASK me why I said that rather than being passive-aggressive about it? Sometimes the simplest route is the best route.

Cause I didn't wanna ask you anything specifically! My posting style focuses on trends... and you were just the latest example of a trend I see on boards geared at black women telling them how slim their chances are when it comes to men. So I'm addressing ALL Y'ALL out there that think like that!

I said this because I honestly believe it, for starters. This shouldn't be so hard to comphrend. The facts are the facts, most people in the US divorce and most children will end up being raised by single parents.

Not if they remarry. Of the children of divorce that I know (including my current boyfriend), his parents remarried. He did not spend very long in a single-parent home.

And actually, I question the validity of your fact. What statistic do you have that says that most people in the US divorce? Please point me to that.

I think there is also a big difference between someone coming from a divorced home versus a home where the parents were never married and the ONLY person the man knows as a parent is his mom. But, that's been stated throughout this thread.

Telling people basic FACTS are a good way for them to make good decisions and choices. All this airy-fairy nonsense about just "finding" what you seek simply because you seek it is HARDLY A LOGICAL APPROACH. If you want something specific, you go to where you're most likely to find it. Bluntly stated, how is telling the truth harmful unless there's something to hide? If you want someone from a two parent home you have BETTER CHANCES of finding it in certain demographics.

Yeah, but whenever black women state ANY kind of standard beyond, "I want a good man who loves me," (which can mean anything), folks want to rush in with some "facts" to tell them why they're standards are supposedly foolish. When it would actually be more logical to tell said black women that if they have a certain standard, that they should first and foremost define to themselves why that's important and then focus on finding men that fit that standard. Cause I dunno... it's not like I'm seeing tons of healthy relationships coming from black women being told that they have very few options out there in general....

I don't refer to men as "species" BTW (it sounds like you're on a big game hunt ) that leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but if that's what you seek some demos have it more than others. I do know that YOU chose a demo that is more likely to have it, n-est-ce pas?

Human beings are species, so I could be referring to women as "species" too. But I do agree if you want a certain standard, then definitely focus on the demographics that are more likely to have it.

 

[Bunny77]

Believe what you want, facts are facts. No stats don't "define" you, but they can be used by you for your gain or detriment. What's wrong w/ using info to better your life? If you want something specific, go where you're most likely to find this. Why is this an issue?

You are talking to and being read by mostly BW....following "conventional wisdom" has created tons of unhappily single women. I simply refuse to add further to THOSE stats. BW need info that will give them agency if they choose to take it, not just more escapsim, IMHO.

It's not an issue. As I said, I did exactly what you just suggested, and the women on the board who said they wanted something specific did the same thing and got it.

So what's the issue here?

And what's created tons of unhappily single women is the fact that the black community, period, does not value marriage. Not the fact that black women have standards. I dare say if more black women had certain standards, more would be married and not be baby mamas, etc.

 

[jamaraa]

Sorry Bunny but I never said BW who have "standards" shouldn't stick by them. No way....not THIS sistah. I said they should go where they are most likely to find it. Encouraging BW to "have standards" is all fine and good, but telling them how to attain their goal and NOT remain alone w/ these standards is more useful, IMHO.

You asked me, in your 'round about way, why I said that. I answered. Don't try to make this out as an issue of telling BW to "settle" because my posts/observations are quite the contrary.

 

[Bunny77]

So what do you all suggest for a single mother raising a son? Make sure the mother/son bond isn't too tight? The things she instilled in her son are the same things I am trying to instill in my son.

* For those that will say just don't have a child OOW, too late. Next.

I understand both point of views on this issue, because I was raised in a two parent home. It makes since to prefer someone that is more likely to understand their role as a husband. However, my son is being raised in a single parent home. I try to tell explain to him what his role will be when he becomes a man and is the head of his own household, but even I know that there's nothing like seeing a model of this role on a daily basis while growing up.

Good questions.

I don't really know the answer, but in the article that I mentioned, I wonder if the mom prepared her son for the fact that in the future, his love and affection would be transferred to his wife. Did she speak to him about the proper ways of courting a woman, what he should do, etc... just little things like if he fixes something at your home, then say, "You'll be a great help to your wife one day when you do that for her."

That's all I can think of right now.

 

[Bunny77]

Sorry Bunny but I never said BW who have "standards" shouldn't stick by them. No way....not THIS sistah. I said they should go where they are most likely to find it. Encouraging BW to "have standards" is all fine and good, but telling them how to attain their goal and NOT remain alone w/ these standards is more useful, IMHO.

You asked me, in your 'round about way, why I said that. I answered. Don't try to make this out as an issue of telling BW to "settle" because my posts/observations are quite the contrary.

Okay so... are we agreeing then? Cause that's what I said too... if you have those standards, then go find men who fit them. I don't see the isssue here really.

 

[biancaelyse]

So what do you all suggest for a single mother raising a son? Make sure the mother/son bond isn't too tight? The things she instilled in her son are the same things I am trying to instill in my son.

* For those that will say just don't have a child OOW, too late. Next.

I understand both point of views on this issue, because I was raised in a two parent home. It makes since to prefer someone that is more likely to understand their role as a husband. However, my son is being raised in a single parent home. I try to tell explain to him what his role will be when he becomes a man and is the head of his own household, but even I know that there's nothing like seeing a model of this role on a daily basis while growing up.

My advice on this is the same for single mothers as it is for married mothers. You still need to maintain a sense of who you are outside of being a mother. I understand the sacrifices that have to be made to raise a child however at some point the child grows up and needs to have their own life independent of yours.

IMO it is not best to be so consumed by your child that you cease to exist as a person. That is the vibe I got from the article that Bunny posted. That this young man even questioned his ability to bond with a woman as a wife becasue he was still so attached to his mother.

ETA - Ditto for the son. I can certainly see how/why mother and son are very close as he grows up but at some point he needs to be able to bond with a wife in a healthy way such that there is not competition and jealousy between his wife and his mother. Each one has a unique role and is important in her own right. Once he gets married, he should be putting his wife first and the mother should fall back and allow them to build their own family.

As far as what you do as a single mom, maximize his exposure to men that are good husbands and fathers. Get him into a mentoring program if possible. Minimize time around men that aren't doing what they are supposed to be.

 

[Bunny77]

Great story about mother and son but what I found even more compelling is the story being told between the lines. I feel for any girl that this man dates or marries since that mother/son bond appears to be so tight. Hopefully Momma can step back when he decides to settle down.

See, I didn't even see that part! Guess because I'm not seeing it as a mother.

The story was supposed to be about the bond between a mother and son as the son ended his college football career and how his mother's love got him to that point. It definitely did a good job of that, but if one looks at it in a different context, like you said, it could be interesting to see how he transitions into a relationship and the difficulties that could ensue on both sides with the strong bonds present in that relationship.

As far as I know, I've never seen him with a serious girlfriend either...