OMG, I think I'm falling in love...I thik something is up.

[BlackHairDiva]

Ladies,

I'm still working part time at this job that I hate. There is this co-worker that I always assumed that he was a kid. I'm 32 and well I thought he was 17-18. He is actually 23.He is quite slim ( or slender as he prefer to describe himself). He thought I was his age, I'm not. I told him I was older.

During the last few weeks, I have been in a situation where I was able to talk to him more and more. Turns out he recently graduated university, bought a home, revamping it and decorating. He knows how to fix things and build thing.

Then today during the christmas souper we had at work, I discovered that he is a huge MJ fan like me. I was shocked, he knew every single song. I tested him like crazy! We talked alot. At one point he left the room and another female co-worker came and chatted with me. He then came back. He could have sat with another one of his buddy at the other end of the room. Instead, he came back and remained by my side. We talked some more.
He tested my MJ knowledge and I tested him.He nailed every question. He tested me I nailed the questions.I also discovered that he's a dj. He has a bunch of songs that he remixed and he dances.

Tonight, we talked, emailed like crazy. I couldn't help to be attracted to him more. I have the impression that it's both ways. I mean the long stares he gives me. At one point during the evening, he came to my desk and asked me if I read the email. He winked at me 5 times and smiled. He also started talking about dance.

Here is another detail. He has a girlfriend. ....y'all he is hot but I'm scared. Last time I was dating /in a relationship was 5 years ago. The age thing makes me worry but when I'm with him age doesn't come to mind. It's like we are the same age. It's weird. OMG, am I a cougar?erplexed

Any advice?
help?

Please

 

[hopeful]

Run as fast as you can!

 

[MissJ]

Something is up. He has a girlfriend.

 

[varaneka]

this reminds me of the vid "if you're not married you're single"

but the letter of the law is not all that matters

the spirit does too

even though he's, by some people's standards, single that doesn't mean that it's okay to get in the way of another's relationship

I would avoid him as much as possible until the feeling wears off

I've been attracted to people but once I found out they were married I FORCED myself to stop thinking about them

it's hard but there are SO many other ppl who you will like sooner or later that you won't regret a thing by getting over one person

 

[SUPER SWEET]

Two wrongs in this one... I would stop nowwwwwwwwwww
1.Girlfriend
2.Works so close

 

[song_of_serenity]

Forget the age difference. Girlfriend and yet winking his eye and that sort of behavior gives expectations on what may just happen to YOU if things start up with you both getting together. sure, it's flattering to get attention from a younger hot guy, but again. He has a girlfriend. That should be your main worry, full stop.

 

[FlowerHair]

He has a girlfriend. Get him out of your mind...

 

[Jade Feria]

Hold up! Nuh-uh girl, don't think we didn't catch that part. Forget that whole story. He has a girlfriend. The fact that you know this yet still continue to flirt and talk to him the way you do is telling him that he can have his cake and eat it too. You're setting the precedent to how he will treat you down the line. And his actions are telling YOU that he's perfectly fine with making advances at other women while he is in a relationship. Is that the kind of man you want? If so, by all means proceed; if not, well....you already know what to do.

ETA: How many weeks has it been? And you think you're in love with him?

 

[BlackHairDiva]

Hold up! Nuh-uh girl, don't think we didn't catch that part. Forget that whole story. He has a girlfriend. The fact that you know this yet still continue to flirt and talk to him the way you do is telling him that he can have his cake and eat it too. You're setting the precedent to how he will treat you down the line. And his actions are telling YOU that he's perfectly fine with making advances at other women while he is in a relationship. Is that the kind of man you want? If so, by all means proceed; if not, well....you already know what to do.

ETA: How many weeks has it been? And you think you're in love with him?

Well I..Love is a strong word ....I should have said I'm smitten by him. I definitely have a crush on him. I 'm doing my best to stay away...As hard it might be to beleive. But when he is around... its like flirt mode. I try not to.

The good news is that He will be leaving the company soon. He got a job eslewhere. PLus I always come in at work in a way that I dont get to really see him. I'm in 10 mins before my scheduled work hour therefore I get settled in and I work. By then, no one can really come to me since everyone is working.

 

[MrsAriannaAmbers]

Its wrong on so many levels...and its nice to have those feelings but the man has a GF nuff said...shoulda set him straight after you found out...and let him know anything besides casual/MJ convo is moot...babay...all that "winking" and stuff...ninjas think they slick

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Ladies,

I'm still working part time at this job that I hate. There is this co-worker that I always assumed that he was a kid. I'm 32 and well I thought he was 17-18. He is actually 23.He is quite slim ( or slender as he prefer to describe himself). He thought I was his age, I'm not. I told him I was older.

During the last few weeks, I have been in a situation where I was able to talk to him more and more. Turns out he recently graduated university, bought a home, revamping it and decorating. He knows how to fix things and build thing.

Then today during the christmas souper we had at work, I discovered that he is a huge MJ fan like me. I was shocked, he knew every single song. I tested him like crazy! We talked alot. At one point he left the room and another female co-worker came and chatted with me. He then came back. He could have sat with another one of his buddy at the other end of the room. Instead, he came back and remained by my side. We talked some more.
He tested my MJ knowledge and I tested him.He nailed every question. He tested me I nailed the questions.I also discovered that he's a dj. He has a bunch of songs that he remixed and he dances.

Tonight, we talked, emailed like crazy. I couldn't help to be attracted to him more. I have the impression that it's both ways. I mean the long stares he gives me. At one point during the evening, he came to my desk and asked me if I read the email. He winked at me 5 times and smiled. He also started talking about dance.

Here is another detail. He has a girlfriend. ....y'all he is hot but I'm scared. Last time I was dating /in a relationship was 5 years ago. The age thing makes me worry but when I'm with him age doesn't come to mind. It's like we are the same age. It's weird. OMG, am I a cougar?erplexed

Any advice?
help?

Please

This was the ONLY thing that stood out in my mind.

I'm sorry, but that's the only thing that stood out for me. Everything was going good until you got to THIS part: He has a GIRLFRIEND!

Trust me, you should keep things with him strictly on a "Friend" only basis. Actually keeping things on a co-worker basis is probably better, but since you guys seem to have a good rapport, I'd say that you should definitely keep him at an arms-length distance as a platonic friend only...especially if you have already caught a "crush" on him.

Idk...maybe some women have been able to lure some men away from their girlfriends/wives, and it ends up working out, but IMO I just never felt comfortable with that at all. It just gives me a very uneasy feeling. Not to mention, if he left another woman for you, what makes you think he wouldn't leave YOU for another woman?

Now, if things w/his gf go downhill, and they break up, THEN he's fair game. If he starts trying to pursue you after things w/his gf go sour, then that's one thing. But if he's still very much with his girlfriend and you two are engaging in flirtation, long stares, flirty e-mails back and forth, long in-depth conversations (just an example), etc then that only leads to frustration and pain for YOU somewhere down the line IMO. You'll be getting to know him more, and the more you get to know him, the more you'll probably like him and catch even MORE feelings. So trust me when I say that you need to nip this in the bud asap. Usually the one with the SO doesn't suffer. Typically it's the one who's "waiting" and "hoping" that the person will break up with their significant other that ends up getting the most hurt.

For right now, since he's "taken", I would just sit back, relax, don't worry about anything, and just view him as a cool "brother". If your feelings of attraction can't allow you to "see him as a brother", then just keep him as a long-distance friend lol. You may need a few days/weeks w/out him all in your face for you to get over him before you can see him in a platonic light.

I don't know.... that's just my personal opinion.

 

[awhyley]

The minute he said that he has a girlfriend, it was over between you and him. I didn't even read the rest.
There's no potential if he's already taken.

 

[Xavier]

I don't get it...he has a girlfriend so what type of advice are you looking for?

ETA: If I met a man who was extra flirty, I would never be able to trust him. If we eventually got together, I would constantly think that he was behaving like this with other women.

 

[SkorpioLust]

Girl, he is just enjoying himself flirting with an older woman. Can you imagine the ego boost of being a little boy and getting a grown a** woman interested in you.

Men LOVE flirting (some women too). It's a sport.

Obviously he lilkes you. But people have chemistry as friends and they flirt with friends. It think it's human nature to flirt. So, unless he makes a definite romantic move, don't dramatize the flirting. There is nothing worse than a desperate cougar. I've seen it. Brakes!

The cougar should always have the power anyway -- he should be falling, not you. You should be the cool one with the reins. If you're goign to cougar, get it right.

Just enjoy your new flirt toy, girl.

 

[Kerryann]

Girl leave that little boy alone.
HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND
oh yeah did i say HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND
yes we all at some point in life get very attracted to someone we are not supposed to have now get over it leave the kid alone until he seperates from his chick fall allllllllllll the way back

 

[varaneka]

I thought ppl were attracted to people who were solidly committed...not ppl who were "committed" but still flirtatious lol....

 

[♥Lamaravilla♥]

What you should do is leave the boy alone, he is someone elses man. Think about how you would feel if someone was chatting up your man they way you have been chatting him up.

 

[jamerichameleon]

He's got a girlfriend. Plus it seems like he is flirting for sport like another poster said. I'd hate to be caught up with someone who is forever in some other woman's face. And on top of that, it's hard to date your officemate. Things go bad and get magnified by your proximity/mutual coworker friends, etc.

Run!!!

 

[kandake]

What the... You just threw in the girlfriend thing as an after thought. I know its been 5 years since your last relationship, but this is not where its at.

 

[Sosoothing]

In my opinion the major thing is that he has a girlfriend.
How would you feel if you were her? The age difference and the fact that you work together isn't even an issue since he has a girlfriend.

 

[MrsAriannaAmbers]

Flirting is natural/innoncent in nature but at some point there is a line...and it has to be drawn...just because the he doesn't have any Respect for his relationship doesn't mean that you have to follow down that road also...You have to make the decision to respect yourself enough to not allow someone who is "unavailable to you" so to speak and draw those lines for him...Imagine if you were the girlfriend and this was your man...you would want her (woman he's flirting with at work/school/wherever) to do the same for you as well...

 

[Mimi22]

Girlfriend>>>>RED FLAG!!!!!!

 

[princessnad]

You mean you made me read all that and all you had to say was

He has a girlfriend.

Please run

 

[OhSoOthentik]

Don't do it

 

[FeelinIt]

Uh.....he has a girlfriend.


What advice were you looking for again?!!?!?

 

[The Princess]

Im so happy im single. OP this is a disaster waiting to happen. Just leave it alone. He has a girlfriend and depending on how long they been together or how she feel for him, she might come your way.

 

[kbragg]

If he will do it WITH you, he will do it to you! Run like Give Us Free and don't turn back!

 

[chicacanella]

If he cheats with you, then what would make him not cheat on you?

I'm just wondering what you would think if you two started a relationship and then, he's doing the same thing he did with you with another woman? It would probably make you upset.

I just think that if a man does something with you, what happens if someone else comes along and he gets swayed by that woman?

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

Blackhairdiva.....this some Zane type shyt.

tell u what I would do. bein as tho i'm olda than most of yall..and considerin he's hot, and the chemistry is there, dat means da sex would be HOTTTT!!!... i would phuck da hell outta him. turn his *** out....straight up. shooot, da next day, he'll be lookin for my azzz wif a huggies pamper on with his thumb in his mouth

da next day, i'll act as if it neva happened. we would still be kool n da gang. he can keep his girl. hell, he ain't married or engaged to da chick so phuck it. it ain't like u tryna take him home to meet da parents n shyt... i would do me and indulge....

hot chemistry like dat is rare...dayum dat...i'd say Cougar his *** right on out.....enjoy it!

 

[Raspberry]

Blackhairdiva.....this some Zane type shyt.

tell u what I would do. bein as tho i'm olda than most of yall..and considerin he's hot, and the chemistry is there, dat means da sex would be HOTTTT!!!... i would phuck da hell outta him. turn his *** out....straight up. shooot, da next day, he'll be lookin for my azzz wif a huggies pamper on with his thumb in his mouth

da next day, i'll act as if it neva happened. we would still be kool n da gang. he can keep his girl. hell, he ain't married or engaged to da chick so phuck it. it ain't like u tryna take him home to meet da parents n shyt... i would do me and indulge....

hot chemistry like dat is rare...dayum dat...i'd say Cougar his *** right on out.....enjoy it!

Ok, I'm not gonna front... these same thoughts crossed my mind.. it all depends on how trifling you wanna be for a good time.

Keep in mind I would never do this and it's easy to tell strangers online "just do it" lol..

Primary thing is you shouldn't mess with a co-worker, too messy. As far as the girlfriend thing, as I'm getting older I'm seeing that you never know what's really up with people's relationships. I don't mess with involved people on principle, but I also know that the girlfriend/boyfriend title isn't always a solid thing, he might be ready to dump ole girl..