I fell in love with ...

[prettyFine]

1)Please this is all BS. He can tell you whatever he wants about his wife and I bet you not a lick of it is true.
2)This is where you work that is why you do not get into any type of messy relationships with coworkers
3)You don't know if this mans wife is crazy
4)How would you ever trust this person
5)Believe you are not the 1st woman he pulled this on
6) You can control who you love. I have been approached by many commited men and I let them all know get the heck out my face, I don't go for that.

I hope this will send up red flags for some sister in the future..


so have i. and one of them tried to approach me again after his wife left him because he cheated on her as if it was a one way ticket to heaven. we were both single at that time. i let him know no way! i've kept a mental list of men who i know was always cheating on their girl or wife. oh he tried and tried and tried to talk to me. and i said no no and no! no one wants trash. and he'd been left at the curb by his ex. i ain't pickin up no one elses trash better believe it

 

[Honey6928215]

Let me just say as a married woman i'll try my best to be objective
but hey

- you shouldn't want trash. if a man will repeatedly cheat on his girlfriend then he's no good for any woman. a 1 time deal anyone can fall into. but i see this was premeditated so he's been doing this for a while. be glad he's not yours.

- you definitely shouldn't want someone else's trash. his wife is married to someone and even has a child for someone who's a repeated, premeditationg cheater. she's in a far lot more hell than you are. he's her trash. why would you want this? you've got to look past this so called love and listen to your mind to leave. you don't want to be in her shoes. your heart isn't broken yet. her's already is. and he is trash. let him stay in her back yard for pickup. don't be crazy enough to take her trash to yours. pick yourself up and leave the situation.

- the level of premeditation and lowdowness. this fella ain't ####. he's cheating on his wife. and he took time to plan doing it. and he has no respect for his marraige. so no he's nothing. he's a devil dressed in white angel linen. he has no respect for his wife. none for you. not even the child. he knows if the wife finds out she could leave and the child wouldn't have a father. but he doesn't care. i know i would leave him. i've done this already.

girl this is some game. anyone can be tempted. but if he was that prayed up he would've been struggling with this issue and praying against it. but wouldn't have been the first to approach you. first to hug you. first to kiss you. first to console you. can't you see he's directing the entire act?. and mistreating you the wife the child his marraige and has no respect for his job even. girl this man is even using the word of God. no respect for the master. smh dam he ain't #%@#. if this was my husband i don't know what i'd do. i'd surely be thinkin of divorce. i've done it before and i'll do it again before i let a man brake me. seen to many other friends let it happen. it just won't be me.

see it goes down like this more often than not. once she finds out and this ain't the first time if she keeps him he does it again. and again. and she finally realizes it aint you, tisha, mesha or keisha it's that triflin husband. they eventually divorce. i'm seeing this more and more. women have jobs where they can take care of themselves and they don't have to take this embarassment. myself and 3 other girlfriends all have done the same. thus far 2 of us are married again.


i can't say what i'd do but i'd never want to have feelings for someone either i can't have or don't wanna have. and if he's married and would cheat on his wife no matter how much in love you are you don't want his lying @@@. trust me you dont.

pray ask God to open your eyes to the situation. this fella is laughing at you when he's with you. and he's laughing at his wife when he's with her. because he's playing both of you.

WOW! YOU ARE SO ON POINT!

 

[Honey6928215]

I hope this will send up red flags for some sister in the future..


so have i. and one of them tried to approach me again after his wife left him because he cheated on her as if it was a one way ticket to heaven. we were both single at that time. i let him know no way! i've kept a mental list of men who i know was always cheating on their girl or wife. oh he tried and tried and tried to talk to me. and i said no no and no! no one wants trash. and he'd been left at the curb by his ex. i ain't pickin up no one elses trash better believe it

Girl, I gotten into the habit of doing the same thing. I avoid married men like I avoid vomit on the floor. EWWWW...

 

[Ms_Delikate]

I decided to stop all the contact also..I know that i can not try to forget and see him too ! Im in love but not completely dumb (even if i acted like i was)

Good for you...I truly wish you luck with your decision!

 

[Vinillablue]

Have RESPECT for yourself!!!!.....LEAVE him alone!!!!.....you don't really know what is going on at home!!!....he could just be telling you things because he might be wanting attention!!!....Don't do it!!!
Men always act one way and do other things trust me!!!....my own husband before we got married, we were not even together and he lied to a woman online and started dating her telling her all types of stuff about me. That we had so many problems and he just couldn't break up with me, and we were not even together!!!....the truth was he wanted me back and he felt he needed to keep himself busy with her, so that he try and forget about me and thinking maybe I had someone else!....No matter what she did he was still trying to get back with me while going out with her!!!....
When I found out he was dating someone else!!!.....I wanted to end even our friendship!
Then he finally told me the truth about her. He said she was a just a JUMP OFF because he was lonely and I had stopped showing him attention and wanting to be around him.
He told her a bunch of lies, after he found out she was lying to him about stuff....It was amess!!!....she even harrased me!!!!....hang calls and everthing!!!....
But, he was really threw with her and we ened up togather because threw her he realized how much he loved me, PLEASE DON'T put yourself in that perdicumant!!!!...being the other woman never gaurentees you will end up with him!!!!.....too much DRAMA!!!....trust me!!!...and there is a child involved!!!!...LET GO!!!

 

[SpiritJunkie]

I told you ladies a million times about my sister and her trifling husband. she will tell you too. these married men will say anything for their egos to know they "still got it" but they aint' leavin NO BODY.

I see that you are breaking it off. GOOD!

 

[gn1g]

It doesn't matter if the man is telling the truth or not. If the wife decides she wants her husband completely, he is gone! The wife will always have the power. About 99.7% of the time men go home, to their wife.

 

[darlingdiva]

LEAVE THIS GUY ALONE!!!

You're too special to be anyone's second fiddle.

Plus, this guy is a scum. Like another poster said, please don't be THAT girl--you know, the one who gets involved with a married man and then they have their "fun" and then she gets caught up and then he goes back to his wife.

THEN the girl has the audacity to wonder why he left her

Umm...maybe it's because he sees that you don't respect yourself, so he asks himself why he should respect you.

 

[prettyFine]

Girl, I gotten into the habit of doing the same thing. I avoid married men like I avoid vomit on the floor. EWWWW...

that crazo tried to holla when he was married! all men don't cheat. but this one was always cheating on his wife. i told him deniedddd ((in my best suze ormon voice). granted he was fine as ####. didn't matter he was also married as ####. so his wife got tired and left him. he couldn't believe that a black woman would dare to leave a man rather than take his bs i guess. he tried to holla again. and the answer still was denieddddd! why would i want that drama???? the drama his then ex wife was running from? was he on crack or something? i like to learn from others mistakes such that i myself won't go through it. anytime i can escape heart break and heart ache i run like a bat out of hell. he knew i initially denied him because he was married. he wanted me to know he was single then but the fact that he was married and tried to holla turned me completely off! I'm not stupid enough to go to some other person's curbside and pickup the trash that they took from their back yard to the front for pickup. i've never believed in the **cleanup** woman. Because if it's dirt and someone else doesn't want it why would i be the fool to take that #### home??? Thats ok i decided to seek out who i feel is a good man and start on even ground. i ain't starting off trying at no one else's house to get something to build a future with. to the op please take a hint from this. you and his wife both deserve better.

I told you ladies a million times about my sister and her trifling husband. she will tell you too. these married men will say anything for their egos to know they "still got it" but they aint' leavin NO BODY.

I see that you are breaking it off. GOOD!

this happened over and over to one of my kin folks and she would go over to the women's houses. happened about 3 times. this put her in danger being in someone else's yard. she finally realized it wasn't those women it was her husband that was her problem. most times she found out he was approaching them first. but now she says doesn't matter they could've approached him first. both knew when they got married that others would try to holla and he like her was supposed to decline any and all advances. she stayed. and now hates she stayed. there were other men who's liked her while she was married and she wonders if she had had the courage to leave what her life would've been like with any of them. several were really nice men to.

It doesn't matter if the man is telling the truth or not. If the wife decides she wants her husband completely, he is gone! The wife will always have the power. About 99.7% of the time men go home, to their wife.

sadly this really isn't reality anymore. Do you see how 50% of marraiges fail? Believe it or not most of the time it's because that guy brought some other woman in that marraige. don't believe me? look at the most of the marraiges that have failed. even the ones that started out as something else eventually those men pulled in another person. many of those men don't feel their wives will leave. i've even had a friend tell me he knew his wife wasn't going to leave if she ever found out what he was doing. that was my rebuttal as to why he should stop that behavior but he had an even better one. by her being an older woman with not much income no she didn't. but i know of several others who have. some have children. and i know of 2 of those guys who are just...shocked ..that their wives left. those type men just think they can do their wives any kind of way and women are just getting tired. but i'm one of those who have remarried. my other 2 girls are dating someone. the other has remarried also. but trust me when i say if that man goes home he has hell to pay. and the marraige will not be the same. most times those who repeatedly cheats ends up in divorce. so no it's not a joy ride on the other side either. the woman..well one of the women who my ex dated while we were married is even married herself now! to a dr!!! and his marraige to me is over! and I've remarried! he let himself lose his family while the both of us have moved on.

 

[michelle81]

sadly this really isn't reality anymore. Do you see how 50% of marraiges fail? Believe it or not most of the time it's because they guy brought some other woman in that marraige. don't believe me? look at the most of the marraiges that have failed. even the ones that started out as something else eventually those men pulled in another person. many of those men don't feel their wives will leave. i've even had a friend tell me he knew his wife wasn't going to leave if she ever found out what he was doing. that was my rebuttal as to why he should stop that behavior but he had an even better one. by her being an older woman with not much income no she didn't. but i know of several others who have. some have children. and i know of 2 of those guys who are just...shocked ..that their wives left. those type men just think they can do their wives any kind of way and women are just getting tired. but i'm one of those who have remarried. my other 2 girls are dating someone. the other has remarried also. but trust me when i say if that man goes home he has hell to pay. and the marraige will not be the same. most times those who repeatedly cheats ends up in divorce. so no it's not a joy ride on the other side either. the woman..well one of the women who my ex dated while we were married is even married herself now! to a dr!!! and his marraige to me is over! and I've remarried! he let himself lose his family while the both of us have moved on.

I agree. I definitely don't think my marriage could withstand infidelity. It would never, ever, ever be the same again, and I'd just have to leave.

I agree with what some of the other posters have said as well. When you see a married man, keep the talk strictly platonic. Why even let yourself get to a point of even thinking about loving someone that's married.

OP, I guess you've realized it now, but just take this one as a lesson learned.

 

[treybaby2005]

that crazo tried to holla when he was married! all men don't cheat. but this one was always cheating on his wife. i told him deniedddd ((in my best suze ormon voice). granted he was fine as ####. didn't matter he was also married as ####. so his wife got tired and left him. he couldn't believe that a black woman would dare to leave a man rather than take his bs i guess. he tried to holla again. and the answer still was denieddddd! why would i want that drama???? the drama his then ex wife was running from? was he on crack or something? i like to learn from others mistakes such that i myself won't go through it. anytime i can escape heart break and heart ache i run like a bat out of hell. he knew i initially denied him because he was married. he wanted me to know he was single then but the fact that he was married and tried to holla turned me completely off! I'm not stupid enough to go to some other person's curbside and pickup the trash that they took from their back yard to the front for pickup. i've never believed in the **cleanup** woman. Because if it's dirt and someone else doesn't want it why would i be the fool to take that #### home??? Thats ok i decided to seek out who i feel is a good man and start on even ground. i ain't starting off trying at no one else's house to get something to build a future with. to the op please take a hint from this. you and his wife both deserve better.

this happened over and over to one of my kin folks and she would go over to the women's houses. happened about 3 times. this put her in danger being in someone else's yard. she finally realized it wasn't those women it was her husband that was her problem. most times she found out he was approaching them first. but now she says doesn't matter they could've approached him first. both knew when they got married that others would try to holla and he like her was supposed to decline any and all advances. she stayed. and now hates she stayed. there were other men who's liked her while she was married and she wonders if she had had the courage to leave what her life would've been like with any of them. several were really nice men to.

sadly this really isn't reality anymore. Do you see how 50% of marraiges fail? Believe it or not most of the time it's because they guy brought some other woman in that marraige. don't believe me? look at the most of the marraiges that have failed. even the ones that started out as something else eventually those men pulled in another person. many of those men don't feel their wives will leave. i've even had a friend tell me he knew his wife wasn't going to leave if she ever found out what he was doing. that was my rebuttal as to why he should stop that behavior but he had an even better one. by her being an older woman with not much income no she didn't. but i know of several others who have. some have children. and i know of 2 of those guys who are just...shocked ..that their wives left. those type men just think they can do their wives any kind of way and women are just getting tired. but i'm one of those who have remarried. my other 2 girls are dating someone. the other has remarried also. but trust me when i say if that man goes home he has hell to pay. and the marraige will not be the same. most times those who repeatedly cheats ends up in divorce. so no it's not a joy ride on the other side either. the woman..well one of the women who my ex dated while we were married is even married herself now! to a dr!!! and his marraige to me is over! and I've remarried! he let himself lose his family while the both of us have moved on.

I see your point and most women would leave their husbands especially if he is a serial cheater.I think the poster you were quoting was saying if the wife would allow/take him back,it would then be over for the other women 99.7 of the time.
So I guess its like the other woman didn't win,she just got the leftover sloppy seconds.

 

[prettyFine]

I see your point and most women would leave their husbands especially if he is a serial cheater.I think the poster you were quoting was saying if the wife would allow/take him back,it would then be over for the other women 99.7 of the time.
So I guess its like the other woman didn't win,she just got the leftover sloppy seconds.

i see what ur saying. but yeah pretty much. if he's cheated more than once then i as a wife wouldn't want him. and the other woman shouldn't either. but she's free to have him because at that point who needs that?

 

[StarFish106]

If he will do it with you, he will do it TO YOU.

Tis all...

 

[AnjelLuvs]

*scratches head* How exactly do you fall in "LOVE" with a married man... Nope not reading this long arse thread.. too many grammatical errors to start with....

 

[hrtbndr21]

The OP said she was going to leave this guy alone. Let's hope she does.

 

[BGT]

There's a chapter in the book He's Just Not That Into You called "HJNTIY if he's married." Here is one of the responses:

This is no joke. You want and you want to be loved and you think you've finally found it. But he's married. Please try not to ignore that fact: he's married to someone else. I know you're different and he's different, but the fact is, he's still married. If there's only one red flag you are unable to ignore in your lifetime, please make it this one. There's simply too much at stake for everyone involved.

 

[neyhla]

*scratches head* How exactly do you fall in "LOVE" with a married man... Nope not reading this long arse thread.. too many grammatical errors to start with....

Ok good sorry for not being an english speaker. I tried to explain what happenned with my poor words in english.

 

[nicey]

PLEASE, leave this man alone.

True words.

 

[healthynhappy]

And he had the nerve to come at you by using God. erplexed Lame *** loser.

Glad you see the light.

 

[Makenzie]

Ok good sorry for not being an english speaker. I tried to explain what happenned with my poor words in english.

You are doing fine. Even though English is a second language to you, your post was clear and understandable. Plus you did mention already that it is a second language.

Moving on, you got some great advice in this thread. I know you said you were going to leave him alone, so I hope that you are still standing by that. He was (is) a loser con. He saw that you were vulnerable and from there he made his game plan to 'get to know you'. Then he threw Jesus in there for good measure.

Please have nothing to do with him. NOTHING! He took advantage of you. Also know that you did play a part in this. He could not have gotten that close to you if you hadn't let him. Chalk it up to the game and experience, learn from it and move on. Be well.

 

[saved06]

Girl! Get out! Leave it alone! Don't fall into this trap. Because you will reap what you sow and this is something you do not want to reap!! Trust me! I've seen this situation so many times. Distance yourself, cut off communication. Pray for God to break those feelings and get a man the right way!! Please so many people are cursed messing with adultery and breaking up marriages...

 

[firecracker]

Please stop any and all contact with that married man!

 

[MissJ]

Ok good sorry for not being an english speaker. I tried to explain what happenned with my poor words in english.

Your English is good enough.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Wow.

Some good advice in this thread. I hope that this married SOB decides to actually listen to some of that Jesus talk he's spewing, and he carries his arse home to his family.

His wife has changed radically since the baby = Her body isn't as tight and she's tired for caring for HIS BABY all the time, so she isn't swinging from the chandelier as often as she once was. Plus he thinks he's got her on lock b/c he's a scumbag. So off he goes in search of new p**sy. I hope his wife beats his junk with a spiked bat.

 

[sky_blu]

No advice or opinion. Just wanted to know what your going to do OP?

 

[prettyFine]

*scratches head* How exactly do you fall in "LOVE" with a married man... Nope not reading this long arse thread.. too many grammatical errors to start with....

it is very hard to even imagine. i always felt that you can control it. but this story has really really opened my eyes. i was naive as to how devious some men would be and how low some will go just to get a peice. ***scratches my head*** it just doesn't make sense. but once i realized what he was doing i could see he was playing out a drama show. here it goes...say he's married you two are platonic but he like this man makes up his mind to cheat so he gets to know the woman like this man did determine what she needed to hear to help her situation like this man did and determine how nice and attentive he needs to be like this man did and acts just like your best girlfriend would like this man did. but since he's a man you will not want to hug him like you would your best friend but your emotions likely start to have feelings for him. if you really follow her story it makes since now. this story is sad but its so realistic. i have a girlfriend who was in a similar position but unfortunately she's at home with his baby now. his wife is so hurt by this that she is in shock at what he's done. i didn't understand how she my friend just ***happened*** in this situation but a few days ago i asked her. she explained the entire story. and it's not far from this one. but it seems he ran her down like a police chase. it makes since because she has never dated anyone married. she always stayed clear of them. this man just ain't no dam good. i know of his wife through another friend and she is beyond hurt! i feel so very sorry for his wife omg! my friend is hurt to. so the dude just jacked up everyone's life.

 

[prettyFine]

*scratches head* How exactly do you fall in "LOVE" with a married man... Nope not reading this long arse thread.. too many grammatical errors to start with....

Wow.

Some good advice in this thread. I hope that this married SOB decides to actually listen to some of that Jesus talk he's spewing, and he carries his arse home to his family.

His wife has changed radically since the baby = Her body isn't as tight and she's tired for caring for HIS BABY all the time, so she isn't swinging from the chandelier as often as she once was. Plus he thinks he's got her on lock b/c he's a scumbag. So off he goes in search of new p**sy. I hope his wife beats his junk with a spiked bat.

sad he intertwined Jesus in his web of deceit. looks like he had it all planned.
the baby and body part is so true. my aunts tell me all the time that their mens hair recedes. that they now have pot bellies. and they say the men don't understand when things in their lives change. girl you should hear them talk! women have so much to do. so everyone should realize that no one is exactly as they married.

I hope his wife beats his junk with a spiked bat

 

[healthynhappy]

it is very hard to even imagine. i always felt that you can control it. but this story has really really opened my eyes. i was naive as to how devious some men would be and how low some will go just to get a peice. ***scratches my head*** it just doesn't make sense. but once i realized what he was doing i could see he was playing out a drama show. here it goes...say he's married you two are platonic but he like this man makes up his mind to cheat so he gets to know the woman like this man did determine what she needed to hear to help her situation like this man did and determine how nice and attentive he needs to be like this man did and acts just like your best girlfriend would like this man did. but since he's a man you will not want to hug him like you would your best friend but your emotions likely start to have feelings for him. if you really follow her story it makes since now. this story is sad but its so realistic. i have a girlfriend who was in a similar position but unfortunately she's at home with his baby now. his wife is so hurt by this that she is in shock at what he's done. i didn't understand how she my friend just ***happened*** in this situation but a few days ago i asked her. she explained the entire story. and it's not far from this one. but it seems he ran her down like a police chase. it makes since because she has never dated anyone married. she always stayed clear of them. this man just ain't no dam good. i know of his wife through another friend and she is beyond hurt! i feel so very sorry for his wife omg! my friend is hurt to. so the dude just jacked up everyone's life.

Sorry - your friend jacked up her own life. She made a conscious choice to sleep with someone's husband, and on top of that, without protection. erplexed

I feel bad for the wife and your friend's baby. Did he leave his wife?

 

[cestlachic.]

PLEASE, leave this man alone.

what she said.

 

[kryolnapps]

lool yeah thanks for posting ....I feel sooooo ashamed ...Anyway It will NEVER EVERRRRRRRRR happened to me again ....I think that It occured cause I was too weak to realised...but I know Im not justifiable !!!
thank you all

I'm so glad you're stopping before it's too late. In my culture, too many women accept to become 'the other woman'.

I'm sure you learned a valuable lesson. We all make mistakes, we just have to learn from them and move on. Forget about him and focus on your well being.