I fell in love with ...

[prettyFine]

Sorry - your friend jacked up her own life. She made a conscious choice to sleep with someone's husband, and on top of that, without protection. erplexed

I feel bad for the wife and your friend's baby. Did he leave his wife?

the girl was wrong no doubt. but i disagree with you because my friend as far as i know **although we had lost contact for about 4-5 yrs** was never a sleeper with married men. the dude ran after her as if he had no wife! crazy. as of now the chick has moved back in with parents to help her with the baby the first few mos and she really seems happy ???**sorta as if the baby is just...a baby..not for a married man*** her moms is goo goo ga ga over the baby. initially i didn't understand that. but when i think about it well why shouldn't they be happy over the baby itself? from that angle its really no different from her being with a single guy who it just didn't work out with. she has a baby and i guess she's gonna raise it and thats it. but the worst side to me is how is this man's wife dealing with this??? is her marraige gonna work out? what was it like telling his wife this? Kara **fake friend name** can go on with life like any other single mother. but this mans wife has to put up with cheating and a child for the entirety of the marraige if she stays. i just couldn't do it.

**Kara** was never for that married man thing when we hung. and when some of our other mutual friends and i all talked they were saying the same thing. we were all thinking what happened??? but one person told me they were still hanging with her when the man was tryin to holla and she gave me the low down of the entire thing play by play. this married man ...oh how he ran..and ran after the girl! man i was in shock i've never had a single dude to run me down like that . so when she and i started talking again i asked her what happened. and she told me what went down. so she was dead wrong i give her that. but he made a conscious decision to violate his wife. he turn his face away from his children to take time with her. he took money away from his family to take her out. he decided to have unprotected sex with someone outside his marraige and could have given his wife a disease and for all i know she may very well have one. he decided to risk getting another person pregnant. but i really feel that she wouldn't have dated him if he wasn't in her face. even if he did come at her if he hadn't been so...persistant... the 1st or 2nd times she still said no he really should have kept it moving. she is acting as if it's just life for her. so hey i guess it is. but when i put myself in her shoes how many times can one say no with temptation constantly in your face? maybe because i've been through this before i really don't care much about another woman. i care about how my husband reacts. him constantly running and running after another woman as if i don't exist would be just to much. i've had a husband who ran after several women before. i bailed out. that mans' wife from what i hear is in shock. but i heard she's with her sister in cali now. so no they are supposedly not together. i don't know how this will end though. i think it is so sad. as a whole i think it's time for women to stop blaming someone outside of their marraige for their husbands cheating. how lame does that sound? when i divorced i didn't divorce because sallie or donna slept with some man. i divorced because my husband repeatedly slept with some women. other women were not and are not my problem. it's a cheating husband thats the problem. i have always understood this and because of so i bounced and have found the love of my life now. because some other realives have not done so they are still in marraiges where their husbands having cheated yet ah-gain. i can't help but wonder who could they have been happy with? sorry so long. this is personal to me because i myself went through a divorce with a man who was doing the same thing as this guy. very painful. at the end i knew it had nothing to do with some other chic. it was him. and when i got rid of his cheatin *** i gain a new outlook on life and love.

 

[kandake]

^^^^A man can't cheat by himself. And he can't make you become and adulterer, unless you didn't know ANYTHING about the wife. And I'm not even sure how that happens. Unless the person is dumb as rocks or just not perceptive.

Anyway, both parties should be held accountable.

This woe is me he chased me crap is unconscionable.

 

[healthynhappy]

the girl was wrong no doubt. but i disagree with you because my friend as far as i know **although we had lost contact for about 4-5 yrs** was never a sleeper with married men. the dude ran after her as if he had no wife! crazy. as of now the chick has moved back in with parents to help her with the baby the first few mos and she really seems happy ???**sorta as if the baby is just...a baby..not for a married man*** her moms is goo goo ga ga over the baby. initially i didn't understand that. but when i think about it well why shouldn't they be happy over the baby itself? from that angle its really no different from her being with a single guy who it just didn't work out with. she has a baby and i guess she's gonna raise it and thats it. but the worst side to me is how is this man's wife dealing with this??? is her marraige gonna work out? what was it like telling his wife this? Kara **fake friend name** can go on with life like any other single mother. but this mans wife has to put up with cheating and a child for the entirety of the marraige if she stays. i just couldn't do it.

**Kara** was never for that married man thing when we hung. and when some of our other mutual friends and i all talked they were saying the same thing. we were all thinking what happened??? but one person told me they were still hanging with her when the man was tryin to holla and she gave me the low down of the entire thing play by play. this married man ...oh how he ran..and ran after the girl! man i was in shock i've never had a single dude to run me down like that . so when she and i started talking again i asked her what happened. and she told me what went down. so she was dead wrong i give her that. but he made a conscious decision to violate his wife. he turn his face away from his children to take time with her. he took money away from his family to take her out. he decided to have unprotected sex with someone outside his marraige and could have given his wife a disease and for all i know she may very well have one. he decided to risk getting another person pregnant. but i really feel that she wouldn't have dated him if he wasn't in her face. even if he did come at her if he hadn't been so...persistant... the 1st or 2nd times she still said no he really should have kept it moving. she is acting as if it's just life for her. so hey i guess it is. but when i put myself in her shoes how many times can one say no with temptation constantly in your face? maybe because i've been through this before i really don't care much about another woman. i care about how my husband reacts. him constantly running and running after another woman as if i don't exist would be just to much. i've had a husband who ran after several women before. i bailed out. that mans' wife from what i hear is in shock. but i heard she's with her sister in cali now. so no they are supposedly not together. i don't know how this will end though. i think it is so sad. as a whole i think it's time for women to stop blaming someone outside of their marraige for their husbands cheating. how lame does that sound? when i divorced i didn't divorce because sallie or donna slept with some man. i divorced because my husband repeatedly slept with some women. other women were not and are not my problem. it's a cheating husband thats the problem. i have always understood this and because of so i bounced and have found the love of my life now. because some other realives have not done so they are still in marraiges where their husbands having cheated yet ah-gain. i can't help but wonder who could they have been happy with? sorry so long. this is personal to me because i myself went through a divorce with a man who was doing the same thing as this guy. very painful. at the end i knew it had nothing to do with some other chic. it was him. and when i got rid of his cheatin *** i gain a new outlook on life and love.

Why in the world would you excuse your girlfriend's behavior? How is she a victim in this situation? Did he rape her?

I put home wreckers right up there with skanks.

 

[prettyFine]

Why in the world would you excuse your girlfriend's behavior? How is she a victim in this situation? Did he rape her?

I put home wreckers right up there with skanks.

no no no. i don't excuse her she's a part of the equation. but i also think its sad for one to read that and think placing the blame where it should be is excusing someone else. no my husband didn't cheat by himself but if he could have he would have. if a man decides he wants to cheat it doesn't matter the other person man or woman. he will cheat. but I've been a wife 2 times and i know that the chic is a small part of the equation. i had to realize t hat the problem was my husband. i myself found out about 4 women in a marraige that span 4 years. i was always mad at the other chic and how good she looked and what did she do to get him. but i realized that each of those women were not the issue. it was my husband who was putting me through all of that heartache. everytime i found out about yet another woman he was meeting up with my house became miserable. because my husband was cheating! the homewrecker is not the outside person in the marraige. the homewrecker is the cheating person in the marraige. to be honest if i continued to blame each person i'd still be in that marraige calling some person who didn't walk down the isle with me,the homewrecker. i have a couple of relatives like that and it's taken then both about 10 yrs to realize this and yes they are still in their marraiges and yes both husbands are still doing their thang because they think the homewrecker are the chics but it's their husbands. i don't subscribe to that. the only person that wrecked my home was my husband. as for each chic that he dated i didn't like those skanks neither. one was 18. and she was the worst skank of all. but even if she approached him first was i supposed to hold her accountable for helping to break up my home? no. thats the way a young girl thinks. with this second marraige i feel i am a woman and a woman in my eyes knows no person can ever wreck their home but her or her husband....as for the friend still i don't keep in constant contact with her. but like i said i did ask another friend who's known her since childhood what went down. and when she told me how the dude was sending her roses at the job trying to get her to holla, showing up at parties that she hosted, joined the same gym that she joined he just seemed over bearing to me for a married man. knowing this chic as i have i just do not think she would have dated the man if he were not always in her face. i can't say for certain but when we were in our late teens and early twenties she was never with married guys. as a matter of fact our mutual friend said she told the married dude no several times. she said that she believes that the lengths that he was going just to get her seemed to flatter her and she noticed how she started to break down. so when i heard the entire story with my having seen both sides i was still mad at her because of some other things that I haven't mentioned here. namely the baby because she could have protected herself. but then i thought so could he because she wasn't accountable to his wife. he was. yep both are wrong. but i look at him the same way i look at my husband. he was accountable to me. our marraige. and our child. that other woman wasn't. and she didn't have to be. but he was obligated to be. so i put most of the blame on my ex husband. and rightfully so because he was my husband. i just couldn't spend the rest of my life fighting with and blaming other women when sometimes my ex have moved on starting up with yet another woman while I'm fighting with the last one! thats why i realized the home wrecker was at home with me! once i realized that is when i filed for divorce. i really grew up and learned alot through that situation. and now i'm a better chic in this marraige because of that. at the end of the day i don't like the other chic one bit. but the only reason she is in my marraige is because my husband brought her into my marraige and therefore my bone to pic is with him. you can fight with the other chic all you want but if your husband is still kicking it with her she's not going anywhere. he's the one who's calling the shots. another lesson i learned. thats why another chic ain't my concern. my husband is.

 

[prettyFine]

^^^^A man can't cheat by himself. And he can't make you become and adulterer, unless you didn't know ANYTHING about the wife. And I'm not even sure how that happens. Unless the person is dumb as rocks or just not perceptive.

Anyway, both parties should be held accountable.

This woe is me he chased me crap is unconscionable.

answer this. when your husband or boyfriend comes home and uses that same excuse

woe is me she chased me

do you treat your husband as if he's a victim and want to beat the chic down when he makes that argument? most women do. that's many of our problems i think. i formerly thought like that. but thats the way my husband wanted me to think. and he knew it would fuel my emotions as a chic to want to hurt the other chic. he was playing mind games. i unflipped the script and let him know no you cheated. i let him know that when we married he knew that someone would try to holla. and that he was not to run that game on me. i did a lot of thinking and growing during that time. and i came to this realization. what do all of these other chics have to do with my marraige? I mean really. at the end of the day the only reason i knew anything about them was because my husband brought them into my marraige. bottom line. that's when i stopped fussing and fighting with the other chics. and grew up. i divorced. i refused to live my life trying to make some other chic as accountable as my husband when she wasn't accountable for nothing in my marraige. when i realized this OMG it was as if i exhaled. and a burden was lifted. i think i was just afraid of placing the real blame where it needed and thus having to face possibly giving up the marraige. either way i came out the winner because i as a person was strengthened.

 

[hurricane]

I had a situation where I loved working with a particular surgeon. He was funny, smart, kind, and sweet. We did have feelings for one another but never crossed that line. I got ticked off at my supervisor and left. I cried because I missed working with him. That was the best thing I could have done for myself.

Respect marriage and God will remember and respect you. Move on and tell him to go back to his wife emotionally.

 

[prettyFine]

I had a situation where I loved working with a particular surgeon. He was funny, smart, kind, and sweet. We did have feelings for one another but never crossed that line. I got ticked off at my supervisor and left. I cried because I missed working with him. That was the best thing I could have done for myself.

Respect marriage and God will remember and respect you. Move on and tell him to go back to his wife emotionally.

wow so glad to know that worked out. it was for the best. do you think he would have cheated with you if you continued working there?

i feel wrong is wrong for both parties. for me i just chose to not focus on an outside party. i chose to look internally at me and hubby.