OMG!!! Borderline child/hair abuse!!!

ok first of all, u would think in this day and age black ppl would know that its easier to comb our hair when its WET! But more than often i still see parents combing their girls hair dry. WTH???

2ndly, im more appalled by the language she is using. She's straight up cussin at her sayin FU#$#, WTH is wrong with her? She talks about her daughter's nappy hair and i'm looking at her like "Iz u crazy? Have u seen ur own head?" Yes i had to go there because she's thinking she's Pochahontas or something cause her hair looks like a weave to me.

She has some nerve. And how immature is the person filming? Sorry but how hood and how ghetto. Dam shameful mess!
 

Thank you! bEcause I did not know what I was doing, lol.

I only read the first two pages. But babyhurr, it seems like half the ladies were outraged. Do they know that you're also black? Seems like the black ladies were reacting as if a white lady posted, saying things like "if you've never done ethnic hair, then you dont know what it's like..." The things that surprised me was comments that said "why did she let the childs hair get like that. Get like what?"


What else gets me is that women say that "kids act like that when they get their hair combed", "I've seen all kinds of kids act this way when getting their hair brushed"... why do people think it's an act? If it hurts, they're doing something wrong. I dont get why people look at curly hair and afro texture hair and think its okay to be rough. That pain is something you should endure because their hair is that way. This is exactly why I do my own hair. People look at it and feel they should be rough. "These tangles really are something, let me pull even harder, who cares about the scalp underneath!"

So I kept reading. This site is really revealing when it comes to white mothers of biracial children. In response to this:
"Then add in a bunch of people laughing at you, mixed in with ridiciously loud music and your mother yelling and cussing at you through out the entire episode is too much. "

one mother of a biracial child posts "I'm sorry if I offend some black people here, but "welcome to a black family". There is nothing wrong with it. They were listenting to music, hanging out and the child was being dramatic and they were having fun with it."

I dont understand how someone can join herself with a culture/ethnicity and think so negatively about it. I wonder about the father of her child... but that is a discussion for another thread



Last comment on this post. Some of these women seem very immature. Do you take parenting advice from them?
Lys
 
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I only read the first two pages. But babyhurr, it seems like half the ladies were outraged. Do they know that you're also black? Seems like the black ladies were reacting as if a white lady posted, saying things like "if you've never done ethnic hair, then you dont know what it's like..." The things that surprised me was comments that said "why did she let the childs hair get like that. Get like what?"


What else gets me is that women say that "kids act like that when they get their hair combed", "I've seen all kinds of kids act this way when getting their hair brushed"... why do people think it's an act? If it hurts, they're doing something wrong. I dont get why people look at curly hair and afro texture hair and think its okay to be rough. That pain is something you should endure because their hair is that way. This is exactly why I do my own hair. People look at it and feel they should be rough. "These tangles really are something, let me pull even harder, who cares about the scalp underneath!"


So I kept reading. This site is really revealing when it comes to white mothers of biracial children. In response to this:
"Then add in a bunch of people laughing at you, mixed in with ridiciously loud music and your mother yelling and cussing at you through out the entire episode is too much. "

one mother of a biracial child posts "I'm sorry if I offend some black people here, but "welcome to a black family". There is nothing wrong with it. They were listenting to music, hanging out and the child was being dramatic and they were having fun with it."

I dont understand how someone can join herself with a culture/ethnicity and think so negatively about it. I wonder about the father of her child... but that is a discussion for another thread


Last comment on this post. Some of these women seem very immature. Do you take parenting advice from them?
Lys


No, I must admit I didn't want to disclose my race because I really wanted them to not bring up race like they always do and get deterred from the subject at hand(thats the norm on this site...everything turns into a darn race war). I just hate arguing with people cause, well, I'm just not good at it. I'm pretty meek and shy I guess(notice how I don't post much here). And yes unfortunately, I do get some mothering advice from mom's from this site. Some of the moms are really great, but I have to admit, the majority of them sign on to cyber bully other moms, start drama, belittle and judge other moms and yes act childish, as well. I just really wanted to interact and reach out to other moms since I'm so passionate about children. You guys have no idea how much I love kids and I thought a site like cafemom would have a lot of people on there who would feel the same way, but nope, a lot of them are trouble makers. But I have some friends on there who makes it worth staying, ya know? Sorry, I'm a sucker for people and maybe my heart is just a little bit too big at times.:sad:
 
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I can't believe people justify this. My hair is a lot kinkier than that little girls and I've never had my mom, grandma or aunts rip through my hair like that as a child. There is no way I'm going to read those comments at Cafemom, I can only imagine the ignorance.


Anyway, I see that Tiffany (who I think is the child's mom) deleted her myspace as well as Temperance the girl who posted the video. I do think I have some possible last names on these people. I'm going to send it to the authorities. Temperance also deleted her youtube account. But she did not delete her facebook account, she just changed her name on it to an alias. But if anyone has any direct contact with authorities in the region and wants their last name info please pm me.
 
A poster on cafemom seems to believe that this is not her mother, something about hearing the woman say something about the child's parents?

I really don't want to see this vid again, did anybody else hear this?
 
That little girl had beautiful hair, but she will grow up to hate it.

I didn't get the point of what the lady was trying to do to the girl's hair. It seemed like she was being cruel on purpose.
 
Ok lets forget the hair (despite it causing the child excrutiating pain!! If someone did that to an adult, the person would ask them to stop immediately. If this same adult was held down and had their hair raked/ and pulled out like that, TRUST, they'd be filing a lawsuit with the quickness. And they would win too. Because it's abuse!! So tell me again why it's ok to do to a child??)

But forget that for now since (SMDH) people are still divided about that ... what about the verbal/ mental abuse?? Ask them about that. Calling the child all sorts of names, swearing at her ... when she cries for her daddy " you aint got no daddy", teaching her self hatred "I'm tryna comb these napps out so you can look like somebody" ... what about those things alone?? Some ask those mothers that, I'd really be interested in their response.

And to the white lady who tried to say that this was a typical black family .... can she get any more racist??? LMAO!!! So verbal, mental and physical abuse are OK or the NORM in black households?? I beg to differ...
 
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Ok lets forget the hair (despite it causing the child excrutiating pain!! If someone did that to an adult, the person would ask them to stop immediately. If this same adult was held down and had their hair raked/ and pulled out like that, TRUST, they'd be filing a lawsuit with the quickness. And they would win too. Because it's abuse!! So tell me again why it's ok to do to a child??)

But forget that for now since (SMDH) people are still divided about that ... what about the verbal/ mental abuse?? Ask them about that. Calling the child all sorts of names, swearing at her ... when she cries for her daddy " you aint got no daddy", teaching her self hatred "I'm tryna comb these napps out so you can look like somebody" ... what about those things alone?? Some ask those mothers that, I'd really be interested in their response.

And to the white lady who tried to say that this was a typical black family .... can she get any more racist??? LMAO!!! So verbal, mental and physical abuse are OK or the NORM in black households?? I beg to differ...

Perhaps not to that extent, but on the real, I can't differ all that much. *sigh*
 
OKAy, I don't know what disturbs me more, the people in this video treating this little girl in this video like this or the so called mothers on cafemom. com who all jumped down my throat for giving my opinon on this video. I mean, right when I posted it on that site, you guys, I was the bad guy! To white and black moms alike! People told me that this was normal, I obviously have no experience with dealing with black hair, I needed to mind my own business, people like me make it hard for mothers to be moms these days(WTF!) and I really need to post real abuse and stop wasting all of their time. These were some of the nicer things I was told after posting up this video. I mean, it was like one MOM who agreed with me! Everyone else called themselves jumping down my throat and tearing me a new one and called the little girl spoiled, bad, bratty, and just plain on needing to sit her behind still! I mean people were ruthless yall and that further more disturbs me. So I think that just make me view the world even more evil and cold than I already thought. People dont' care any more, and that makes me want to just give up on people(yes, I'm in a depressed state right now because these days, it's normal for children to be treated this way). God helps us all in this crazy world.

Don't listen to them--they are absolutely crazy. That is not normal especially for any mother. I don't remember my mother combing my hair like that at all. I remember her parting it into sections and then greasing it. Then, sliding a comb through. This woman knows this--this was intentionally done because why would all the children find it to be funny.
 
What kills me about these women telling you that you don't know what black hair is like obviously don't know themselves. Next time one of them opens their mouth with that lame mess, tell them to brush their hair in all directions without holding any of it like she did and see if that helps a dam*ed thing. Bunch of idiots. Sorry, I'm sitting here hot at all this ignorance seeping from the very pores of people who should know better.
 
I have a range of emotions when reading the related threads, especially the cafemom one. Why is it so hard to acknowledge the technique, language, and lack of patience demonstrated in this video is abusive? Just because the little girl has curly/kinky/coiled hair makes this acceptable...because all little black/biracial children go through this during hair time? If someone is about to cause me pain, I would scream bloody murder too, before they actually did anything. Why…because I know what is about to happen.

Why is it even necessary to brush the child's hair at all...oh yea, "so she can look like somebody." It is hard for me to believe people cannot look past the hair issue, to see the venom in this video. If this was okay for YT, what else happens to this child? I doubt the berating and belittling happens only during hair time.

Next time I see a pic of Zahara Pitt's hair "unkempt," I will applaud. A child should not have to experience pain to be aesthetically pleasing to other people.
 
I just went over there.

I don't want to go through it because once you get me started and pissed off enough.... Yeah. Let me stay off of cafemom.

Completely normal to get your hair ripped out. I want to know how many of them want to get their hair done the same way. I will do it for them. Idiots.

On second thought... no. I'm going over there.
 
I just went over there.

I don't want to go through it because once you get me started and pissed off enough.... Yeah. Let me stay off of cafemom.

Completely normal to get your hair ripped out. I want to know how many of them want to get their hair done the same way. I will do it for them. Idiots.

On second thought... no. I'm going over there.
Let us know what you say.
:giggle:

I have a lot to let these women know but I think you are going to say what I want to.
 
Update ladies. Tiffany lady in the video whose myspace was posted has been deleted. That was her then. It's odd the account has been deleted. So has her daughter's.
 
I'm Afrokink. Here's what I wrote...


  • You wrote on Jul. 17, 2009 at 12:55 PM
  • I have afro-textured hair. Hair that is far more kinky-coily than this little girl in the video. That is NO way to treat hair. Black or biracial that kind of rough treatment is painful. If someone was treating me like that, pining me to the ground and raking the brush through my hair I'd being screaming out too. The brush is moving through her hair because she's riping out the tangles as she goes. Did you see the hair she pulled from the brush? What ever she's spraying isn't working. My scalp is sore just from watching it.
    I'm so glad my mother didn't trat me like that. She knew far better how to care for my hair type. I will share for women dealing with children who have hair like the little girls or like mine.
    • You have to hold the hair on the shaft so that any tugging is absorbed by your hand, not the scalp.
    • You need to make sure the hair is moist and damp so it's easier to manage. If a spritz isn't working you need to do it wet with conditioner like someone already mentioned.
    • You also need to section it. Part the hair into at least 4 sections and secure the areas you aren't working on. It's so much easier to deal with when working a little bit at a time. The way she's doing it in the video, already brushed sections are getting tangled with sections that havent been done. This just makes the process endless!
    • Start form the ends of the hair and work your way up. WIth straight hair you can start from teh scalp and go all the way to the ends. With our kind of hair this doesn't work. All it does it push the tangles down forming a mat or tangles. So start detangling form the bottom and work your way to the scalp.
    • Do your child hair while she's sleeping. My mom loved to do this.
    • Take a break. If you're getting frustrated it will make the situation bad for everyon involved.
    • IF IT HURTS YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG.
    For both videos she's just raking through her hair. At one point she smoothes it into a ponytail brushes the sides back.. you think she's done, but then she starts teasing the back of her hair and then brushes it all over again! WHY? Why would you put your child through this?


http://www.cafemom.com/group/416/re...e_child_abuse_video_IMO_PIOG?next=231#replies
 
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I caved in and went to that cafemom site to read the comments. Lord help me.:wallbash: Anyway, this comment had me really:wallbash:

" All I have to say is thank god my son is a boy and I can just shave his head. My son is bi-racial I can't imagine what a pain is hair would be if I let it grow out. This isn't child abuse she wasn't trying to hurt that little girl and I think the little girl was way over reacting. "


It just makes me soooo upset. That people think just because you are born with kinky/nappy hair that it is ok to be rough. That it is ok to curse at a 5 year old and to pin her on the floor, because that is just what has to be done. That mother in the original video wasn't even trying to really brush out her hair. She was just sticking the brush whereever in her head and pulling it through. I just don't see how anyone with common sense could look at that and think that is normal.
 
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I caved in and went to that cafemom site to read the comments. Lord help me.:wallbash: Anyway, this comment had me really




It just makes me soooo upset. That people think just because you are born with kinky/nappy hair that it is ok to be rough. That it is ok to curse at a 5 year old and to pin her on the floor, because that is just what has to be done. That mother in the original video wasn't even trying to really brush out her hair. She was just sticking the brush whereever in her head and pulling it through. I just don't see how anyone with common sense could look at that and think that is normal.


Did you read the one the lady said to cut her hair. I wrote that is why black girls are believed to not be able to have long hair cause the solution is cut it off.
 
Let us know what you say.
:giggle:

I have a lot to let these women know but I think you are going to say what I want to.

I went in there and made a rather reserved posting. I thought about going in there and going nuts, but nah. My blood pressure... lol

We'll see...
 
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