My first attempt at interracial dating...

deltadreamland

deltadreamland

Well-Known Member
was going well until last night. :look: He usually texts me before he calls because he knows that I'm busy in the evenings taking care of my son.

So this is what went down:

Me: Hey, do you think you can teach Spanish to children under the age of 6?
maybe five minutes pass, then I get a response:

Him: No, I said I like it wet. :look::ohwell:
Me: Huh?
Him: Ooopps...sorry
Me: huh
Him: Basic Spanish. Sure why not? That's easy.
Him again: Did you just ask me something?
Me: Yes I did. Your response was you like it wet. Clearly a response meant for someone else and not me. :nono:

Him: No it was for u. I was being silly. I promise. :ohwell:
Me: That response was not for me. :rolleyes:

So then he calls.....I don't answer. He immediately goes back to texting:
Him: Are you busy? It was meant for you, but if you don't want to believe me I would understand that. I guess silliness was a bit overboard. Sorry....

No more responses from me... EVER :nono:

Besides the obvious,what else could he have been referring to when he said "he likes it wet"? Because I just can't think of anything. Your thoughts? :grin:
 
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Whatever it was it's obvious he was in the midst of texting someone else at the same time and it must have been another female he was interested in or else he would have told you what he text was about.
 
Sounds like he was multi tasking while he was texting you. Plus fantasizing but you brought him back to reality.
 
I was going to say hat he was probably just being silly, I can do the samething sometimes.

But the Ooopps...sorry is a dead giveway for foul play.
 
I guess I'm too forgiving because I don't see what the big deal is? Either he was texting someone else or he was trying to be funny and went too far. Either way, it doesn't seem like reason enough to just dump the dude unless you're not feeling him otherwise. Are you guys just casually dating and still getting to know each other? Also, what does this have to do with interracial dating? :perplexed This whole thing has me confused :lol:
 
chicitygirl said:
I guess I'm too forgiving because I don't see what the big deal is? Either he was texting someone else or he was trying to be funny and went too far. Either way, it doesn't seem like reason enough to just dump the dude unless you're not feeling him otherwise. Are you guys just casually dating and still getting to know each other? Also, what does this have to do with interracial dating? :perplexed This whole thing has me confused :lol:
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I probably would agree with you if he'd left out the "oopps sorry" comment and just took it as a silly comment, but if you're being silly there is no need to apologize for your silliness..imo.
I've only dated guys of my own race, so this was my first attempt at an interracial relationship. Anyone that know me IRL knows that it is a big deal for deltadreamland to entertain any other race besides black men.
 
deltadreamland said:
I probably would agree with you if he'd left out the "oopps sorry" comment and just took it as a silly comment, but if you're being silly there is no need to apologize for your silliness..imo.
I've only dated guys of my own race, so this was my first attempt at an interracial relationship. Anyone that know me IRL knows that it is a big deal for deltadreamland to entertain any other race besides black men.
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Oh, okay. See, I assumed he was apologizing because he realized that you were either offended by the crass joke or didn't get it. Even if he was texting someone else, doesn't he have the right to do so unless you're in a committed relationship? You could be texting someone else flirty messages too, right? I understand if IR dating is new to you, it's on the forefront of your mind, but I think this type of situation could have happened with a black man too.
 
chicitygirl said:
Oh, okay. See, I assumed he was apologizing because he realized that you were either offended by the crass joke or didn't get it. Even if he was texting someone else, doesn't he have the right to do so unless you're in a committed relationship? You could be texting someone else flirty messages too, right? I understand if IR dating is new to you, it's on the forefront of your mind, but I think this type of situation could have happened with a black man too.
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Of course he can multi-text. I have no problems with that at all. But my problems lies with the subject of his multi-text. If you're interested in me and dating me, then I would think that we would eventually have sex, yes. But if you're also texting someone else and the contents of your text with the other person is centered around sex, then that leads me to believe that not only are you interested in sex with me, but you're also interested in sexing someone else during that same time. I don't deal with guys that knowingly have multiple sex partners. Protection or no protection...that is a no no for me. :nono:

ETA: And I do agree that it could happen with a man of any race. And it has..hence one of my many reasons for breaking my loyalties to black men.
 
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I don't know if I would stop interracial dating for that reason though. You have jerks and sneaks in every race. JMO
 
I don't think this incident has anything to do with race. Any man could have done this. Black White Brown Red Yellow Green. Obviously from your post you guys are not that deep into this relationship that you have come to the point of mutual agreement on dating exclusivity. When most men are casually dating they are usually not dating one women at a time. So how can you assume that you are the only women he is talking to?
 
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i don't think DDL cares that he is dating and exploring his options.
I believe she is turned off by his sloppy texting and cover up lies to boot.
 
softblackcotton said:
I don't think this incident has anything to do with race. Any man could have done this. Black White Brown Red Yellow Green. Obviously from your post you guys are not that deep into this relationship that you have come to the point of agreement of exclusivity. So how can you assume that you are the only women he is talking too?
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Because we were supposedly only dating each other or that's what we decided on anyway. :look: I assumed I was the only woman he was talking to because that is what he told me. :look:
 
Taliah said:
i don't think DDL cares that he is dating and exploring his options.
I believe she is turned off by his sloppy texting and cover up lies to boot.
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That's the key word here...just be honest. If you're sexting someone else, just say it and we can go from there..especially when it's obvious. If you're interested in more than one person, just say it and we can go from there.
 
deltadreamland said:
Of course he can multi-text. I have no problems with that at all. But my problems lies with the subject of his multi-text. If you're interested in me and dating me, then I would think that we would eventually have sex, yes. But if you're also texting someone else and the contents of your text with the other person is centered around sex, then that leads me to believe that not only are you interested in sex with me, but you're also interested in sexing someone else during that same time. I don't deal with guys that knowingly have multiple sex partners. Protection or no protection...that is a no no for me. :nono:

ETA: And I do agree that it could happen with a man of any race. And it has..hence one of my many reasons for breaking my loyalties to black men.
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Okay, I see what you're saying and why you're upset if that's what your expectations are. I'll just say this though, IMO unless a man has made it clear that he's only interested in pursuing one partner at a time, they're trying to get it in with as many women as possible to increase the odds of finding someone they really want to be with. Men cast the net deep and wide during the dating stages until they decide to commit to one woman. And they're not dating anyone that they're not trying to eventually have sex with. I think this guy just messed up and let you know that he's dating someone else. But IMO, it's naive to assume that you're the only person he's pursuing unless he's explicitly said you are. Of course you have the choice not to have sex with people outside of a committed relationship, but in the absence of a committed relationship, men are gonna be sexing someone, even if it ain't you.


ETA: Just saw that you posted that you guys had agreed to be exclusive. In that case, this thread should be entitled "My manfriend may be sending dirty texts to somebody else" :lol:
 
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deltadreamland said:
Because we were supposedly only dating each other or that's what we decided on anyway. :look: I assumed I was the only woman he was talking to because that is what he told me. :look:
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Well, can't always believe what these guys say until they show you. He said he was dating only you, but with this texting incident, he has shown you aren't the only woman I would take that at face value and not waste time on him unless he proves to you that you are the only woman he is dating. ETA: on top of that he has shown you the he is a liar. He was trying to cover himself. "I said I like it wet" is an extremely nonsensical answer to "Can you teach Spanish to children under 6?" There's just no way to explain that away. He should have just said Oh you caught me. That text was really not meant for you. My bad.
 
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Okay, that is good. Yes, if you have been communicating on a regular basis and dating exclusively, I agree that ooops is a dead give away.

Follow your instincts. Something is amiss.

ETA: That comment he made is a serious RED FLAG since we are all making the same assumption about what he was responding to. Or at least most of us if not all.
 
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chicitygirl said:
Okay, I see what you're saying and why you're upset if that's what your expectations are. I'll just say this though, IMO unless a man has made it clear that he's only interested in pursuing one partner at a time, they're trying to get it in with as many women as possible to increase the odds of finding someone they really want to be with. Men cast the net deep and wide during the dating stages until they decide to commit to one woman. And they're not dating anyone that they're not trying to eventually have sex with. I think this guy just messed up and let you know that he's dating someone else. But IMIO it's naive to assume that you're the only person he's pursuing unless he's explicitly said you are. Of course you have the choice not to have sex with people outside of a committed relationship, but in the absence of a committed relationship, men are gonna be sexing someone, even if it ain't you.
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Agreed.

softblackcotton said:
Well, can't always believe what these guys say until they show you. He said he was dating only you, but with this texting incident, he had has shown you aren't the only woman I would take that at face value and not waste time on him unless he proves to you that you are the only woman he is dating.
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Absolutely! :yep:
 
Ick! Gross... that guy is disgusting. I'm glad you are going to drop him but still remain open to dating other men outside of your race.

Some folks seem to have this deep seated belief that ALL MEN are creeping around trying to stick it to 7,000 females a week... and those men DO exist. However, there are decent men out there who are not trying to smash every organism with the requisite body parts. If you immediately cut out those who are dirty pigs, you increase your chances of finding the good guys.

I hope you find a great man soon!
 
I don't buy his...just being silly explanation. I mean that response was so far from the question you had asked.

So either he was actually texting someone else about something explicit or he was trying to stir up something with you...
 
LadyPaniolo said:
Ick! Gross... that guy is disgusting. I'm glad you are going to drop him but still remain open to dating other men outside of your race.

Some folks seem to have this deep seated belief that ALL MEN are creeping around trying to stick it to 7,000 females a week... and those men DO exist. However, there are decent men out there who are not trying to smash every organism with the requisite body parts. If you immediately cut out those who are dirty pigs, you increase your chances of finding the good guys.

I hope you find a great man soon!
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Thank you LadyPaniolo! I will definitely continue to date outside of my race. This was a first for me-interracial dating. He definitely will not spoil it for other non-black men. :spinning:
 
If you have no plans on giving him anything "wet" i would still be cool with him that way you can become comfortable enough to go to the next one that could be his same race and possible the one for you. I think I said that right.
 
liteskinshowdy said:
If you have no plans on giving him anything "wet" i would still be cool with him that way you can become comfortable enough to go to the next one that could be his same race and possible the one for you. I think I said that right.
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I understand what you're saying. And I'm not upset, mad, or any of those things with him, so that shouldn't be too much of a problem if I were to do that. I'm just so accustomed to the "game" and lies that men throw our way, I just found it amusing how hard he was working to worm his way out of it. All men don't work that hard to prove their lies. :lol:
 
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Funny as hell. Girl dont fall for that BS. You know he was sexting somebody else and accidentally replied to you. Damn that was a lame cover up he tried to pull on you. "No it was for u. I was being silly. I promise." SMGDH
 
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