Interracial Dating and Haircare
- Thread starter january noir
- Start date
FRESHstart101
New Member
i date out of my race a lot, id say 90% of the time.
i think its easier to cope with natural hair with then
because some black guys now a days almost expect
black women to perm there hair. idk (shrugs) white
guys i talk to don't seem to realize when im having
a bad hair day. it just all seems big and Afrocentric to them.
less work for me ...
muhahaha
EDIT: oh and of course its just my personal preference.
im not saying i date out of my race because of hair issues.
but it's just what im attracted to personally.
i think its easier to cope with natural hair with then
because some black guys now a days almost expect
black women to perm there hair. idk (shrugs) white
guys i talk to don't seem to realize when im having
a bad hair day. it just all seems big and Afrocentric to them.
less work for me ...
muhahaha
EDIT: oh and of course its just my personal preference.
im not saying i date out of my race because of hair issues.
but it's just what im attracted to personally.
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femmemuscle
Active Member
My SO is funny. He finds 4b hair far more fascinating than any type he's ever seen. When i do my take downs, he grabs a ruler, does a "length check".. finds out which products are working and what is not.
He really likes the Bee Mine products. Whenever i come from under the dryer, he puts his face in my hair and takes in a big sniff.
When he sees my hair is a bit on the shaggy side, and it's time for a rebraid - he gives me the side eye, and says: "So... looks like you should give "S" a call, girlfriend.. (that's my beautician)..
He really likes the Bee Mine products. Whenever i come from under the dryer, he puts his face in my hair and takes in a big sniff.
When he sees my hair is a bit on the shaggy side, and it's time for a rebraid - he gives me the side eye, and says: "So... looks like you should give "S" a call, girlfriend.. (that's my beautician)..
curlydrea
New Member
Aww!
Im currently dating a white guy. We are both each others first IR experiences. And we talk about hair more often than i thought we would. It started when he first told me "... You have the hair i want to grab and never let go of." I was like omg
At the time he had seen my hair in 2/3 month old indiviuals(on pic) and then two strand twist with a twist out fringe on our date.
Then when we went on another date i had fresh indiviuals in a bun. And he said "is that all your hair?".
and i said no.
He laughs and goes "ok, i was about to say, you grew some hair!"
Then he told me how when he first moved to atlanta(3 months prior) how it was a culture shock. And he had to ask somebody at work "whats a weave?". And they told him it was horse hair
So of course i told him what it really was, basically like extensions. He also likes my long braids because they remind him of dreadlocs, which he loves.
I told him how i big chopped and now im growing it out.
I saw v05 in his shower and some LA looks gel and some mousse on the counter btw
Im currently dating a white guy. We are both each others first IR experiences. And we talk about hair more often than i thought we would. It started when he first told me "... You have the hair i want to grab and never let go of." I was like omg
At the time he had seen my hair in 2/3 month old indiviuals(on pic) and then two strand twist with a twist out fringe on our date.
Then when we went on another date i had fresh indiviuals in a bun. And he said "is that all your hair?".
and i said no.
He laughs and goes "ok, i was about to say, you grew some hair!"
Then he told me how when he first moved to atlanta(3 months prior) how it was a culture shock. And he had to ask somebody at work "whats a weave?". And they told him it was horse hair
So of course i told him what it really was, basically like extensions. He also likes my long braids because they remind him of dreadlocs, which he loves. I told him how i big chopped and now im growing it out.
I saw v05 in his shower and some LA looks gel and some mousse on the counter btw
RosesBlack
New Member
I have been with the same white dude going on 7 years. Just like any other SO he knows by now which of my products he can use. He loved my hair when I shaved (he helped me shave it as well) most of it off, he loves my hair now that it's growing.
He knows what products I like at this point so if I say honey go get me some Ors paks and breakfree he buys it and doesn't mind getting the side eye from people. If he's out and sees something he thinks I might want to use he'll call or text me to see if I want it. He's on team Keep Shannon's Hair healthy 100%. He loves me and whatever I want to do with my hair. He did talk me out of giving myself a mohawk a couple of years ago after I had a major setback and I'm glad he did. He supports and encourages me not just with my hair care but in other things I do.
The only people I've dated who had any issues with my hair were other Black people generally speaking. He and I have talked at length about cultural issues surrounding Black women and hair. If he wants to know something he'll ask and I'll answer but it's no big deal.
As for competition with anyone White or not there is no competition with anyone in my relationship. If he wanted to be with someone else there's the door. I feel like I'm way too old to play those kinds of reindeer games. If I'm with someone and they aren't into me for who I am they can keep on stepping and don't let the door hit em in the butt on their way out.
He knows what products I like at this point so if I say honey go get me some Ors paks and breakfree he buys it and doesn't mind getting the side eye from people. If he's out and sees something he thinks I might want to use he'll call or text me to see if I want it. He's on team Keep Shannon's Hair healthy 100%. He loves me and whatever I want to do with my hair. He did talk me out of giving myself a mohawk a couple of years ago after I had a major setback and I'm glad he did. He supports and encourages me not just with my hair care but in other things I do.
The only people I've dated who had any issues with my hair were other Black people generally speaking. He and I have talked at length about cultural issues surrounding Black women and hair. If he wants to know something he'll ask and I'll answer but it's no big deal.
As for competition with anyone White or not there is no competition with anyone in my relationship. If he wanted to be with someone else there's the door. I feel like I'm way too old to play those kinds of reindeer games. If I'm with someone and they aren't into me for who I am they can keep on stepping and don't let the door hit em in the butt on their way out.
Chevelure618
New Member
One white guy I dated sent me a picture he had cut out of a magazine and wrote "I think your hair would look GREAT in this cut and color". It actually was a style I was trying to get but didn't know how. Now I know how: it was a nicely defined braidout! I never married that guy, but we are still the best of friends and everytime either one of us is in a relationship that ulitimately doesn't work out we always commissurate and scratch our heads about why "we" never worked out. It's one of those mysteries, but he has always only been with black women so our hair is not a mystery to him!
kmn1980
Emoticons don't affect me
Um, I don't get the dilemma.
What do you mean by this statement:
To me that sounds like, "I don't want to emphasize my Blackness too much when I have to use a wide-toothed comb to detangle my hair in his presence."
Why do you feel the need to tiptoe around someone to groom yourself? He knows you're Black, right? Or are you pulling a Sarah Jane? He knows you're not using Prell and giving your head 3 shakes and BAM your hair is flowing like Jennifer Aniston.
Seriously. If he's "the one" and you all have children there's a great chance that they aren't going to be walking around with Jennifer Aniston hair either so he (and more importantly YOU) may as well get comfortable with it now.
What do you mean by this statement:
To me that sounds like, "I don't want to emphasize my Blackness too much when I have to use a wide-toothed comb to detangle my hair in his presence."
Why do you feel the need to tiptoe around someone to groom yourself? He knows you're Black, right? Or are you pulling a Sarah Jane? He knows you're not using Prell and giving your head 3 shakes and BAM your hair is flowing like Jennifer Aniston.
Seriously. If he's "the one" and you all have children there's a great chance that they aren't going to be walking around with Jennifer Aniston hair either so he (and more importantly YOU) may as well get comfortable with it now.
Miss_C
Well-Known Member
I'm noticing trend here, seems like a lot of ladies in IR relationships are dating men with long hair. Is that a concious choice,because I've never dated a long-haired man, white or otherwise.
On another note, allow me to share a story: A loooong time ago I was having a conversation with a white guy with whom I wanted to go to a major formal event. I mentioned that I would have to get a relaxer before we went. He asked me what that was, and since the day before I had gotten one I asked him if he remembered how my hair looked yesterday with new growth (I was probably 4 months post) and told him that when I relaxed, my hair got straighter. He said, "Oh yea, it does look better. Maybe it was because of his age or because it looked neater to him, but he did have a preference for me with straight hair.
My most recent ex (black) prefers me with my natural texture. Because he is light skinned, some might assume he might prefer the opposite (ya'll know us and our color issues). Whenever I say I want to straighten my hair for a length check he says, "As long as you don't
mean a relaxer".
I'm just saying. I think black men get a bad rep when it comes to black hair. Some actually like it, and don't give girls a hard time about wearing it. And I don't mean 3a/b/c hair, but kinky Afro-textured hair.
Just like some white/other men don't. For all the posts I see about White/other men being so accepting of our hair, none express any negative experiences with white men and hair. However, I work in a very racially diverse environment and Others express negative views all the time. I find it odd that no one has had that experience. Maybe it's because the IR men you're dating really really like you, so they're willing to accept the otherwise unknown. If there were no romantic connection, perhaps he might not.
The above were musings only. I am just trying to figure out how NO ONE has had negative experiences with IR dating and hair, only with black men and hair.
Please don't stone me.
On another note, allow me to share a story: A loooong time ago I was having a conversation with a white guy with whom I wanted to go to a major formal event. I mentioned that I would have to get a relaxer before we went. He asked me what that was, and since the day before I had gotten one I asked him if he remembered how my hair looked yesterday with new growth (I was probably 4 months post) and told him that when I relaxed, my hair got straighter. He said, "Oh yea, it does look better. Maybe it was because of his age or because it looked neater to him, but he did have a preference for me with straight hair.
My most recent ex (black) prefers me with my natural texture. Because he is light skinned, some might assume he might prefer the opposite (ya'll know us and our color issues). Whenever I say I want to straighten my hair for a length check he says, "As long as you don't
mean a relaxer".
I'm just saying. I think black men get a bad rep when it comes to black hair. Some actually like it, and don't give girls a hard time about wearing it. And I don't mean 3a/b/c hair, but kinky Afro-textured hair.
Just like some white/other men don't. For all the posts I see about White/other men being so accepting of our hair, none express any negative experiences with white men and hair. However, I work in a very racially diverse environment and Others express negative views all the time. I find it odd that no one has had that experience. Maybe it's because the IR men you're dating really really like you, so they're willing to accept the otherwise unknown. If there were no romantic connection, perhaps he might not.
The above were musings only. I am just trying to figure out how NO ONE has had negative experiences with IR dating and hair, only with black men and hair.
Please don't stone me.
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constance
New Member
I remember the first time my DH saw me put oil on my hair and twist it into Bantu knots--his eyes were as big as marbles. He was like a little boy in a candy store...he'd never seen anything like it before, and perhaps more importantly he'd never even thought about it (that people with different hair types might have different hair care routines). He still likes to watch me "do" my hair and marvels with me as it gets longer. I wear wigs with different textures most of the time as a protective style (body wave, kinky, straight), but he prefers my hair.
NikkiQ
Well-Known Member
I've been with my current SO for 9 months now and he is white. When we first met, I was very open with him about my weave and wigs. He was fascinated by it, but never really cared for any certain way I wore my hair. When I told him about me transitioning to natural, he was my #1 cheerleader and still is. He comes into the bathroom when I'm taking out my installs and gives me kisses. He's even seen me with a relaxer in my head and told me I was beautiful. Lately its been "my baby has all that hair!" when we both know its not that long. That's just how loving and supportive he is. We now live together and I have taken over the second bathroom with my hair products and he doesn't say a word. He even asks if I need any conditioner when he goes shopping
nikolite
Well-Known Member
I've never been in an IR relationship, but I had a white friend once whom every time it was time for me to twist my hair, he'd come in my room and sit on the floor and literally watch me do my hair in fascination while we talked about whatever. He really loved my hair and asked me all types of questions, like "when did you cut your hair? it looked long last night when you first did your twists" or "what is that cream supposed to do?" He didn't know about shrinkage. He'd always knock on the door when he knew I just got finished washing my hair (he was a roommate). I think it was always something different that fascinated him and he thought my freshly washed fro looked hip and cool and whatnot.
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