My bf goes out with his coworker more than me!!!

[iamtan]

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years and I noticed that one day he randomly told me that he took a female coworker out to eat alone because they were hungry. He told me that the rest of his coworkers were meeting up with them as a group. I felt funny about it right away. Especially when he told me that he paid for her (his excuse is she only had a 100 dollar bill and couldn't break it). A few weeks later he invited me to six flags with his coworkers. He specifically told me that she wanted to meet me. I said OK sure. We went on the trip and when we started to eat lunch he was eating food off her plate and so giggly around her. He is a shy guy so I was surprise to see him act like that around another female. She complained about her drink and he quickly offered to change it. He neverrrr does that with me without me begging. I couldn't believe it. We had a small confrontation as his coworkers walked ahead of us. He finally apologize. After the trip I still had an uneasy feeling about them. When he was sleeping over I went through his phone and they were texting until 3am almost everyday. The conversation wasn't inappropriate but why talk so late? He later told me he took her out to eat again and she bought him lunch the other day after. I was furious. We had one of our biggest fights in our 3 years of dating. He cried (he's super sensitive) and told me nothing happen and nothing is going to happen; he love me and he want to be with me. Am I wrong for feeling this way about them? He tells me nothing is going to happen when its only natural that you get attracted to someone if you talk to them and see them a lot. I'm confused.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I don't think you're confused. Go with your first instinct.

 

[MrsMe]

You're not wrong. I'd be upset, too. Only you can decide what to make of this information.

Sent from my iPad...excuse the typos.

 

[Nine]

Emotional affair.

Is this woman single?

 

[iamtan]

Emotional affair.

Is this woman single?

That's what I was telling him. He still insists that nothing is going to happen. She is very single; she just broke up with her boyfriend.

 

[Bublin]

I don't know what to tell you but your story left me feeling uneasy.
It's like he is a changed person, all giggly with her and has no thought of behaving like this in front of you.
Has he told you that he won't be taking her out to lunch again?

 

[Urban]

If he continues to hang out with her as often, when you've argued about her and he clearly knows you feel uncomfortable about it ...

 

[iCandyc]

She's probably using him to ease her post break up "pain". I wouldn't like the situation either. Continue to monitor the situation closely.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I don't know what to tell you but your story left me feeling uneasy.
It's like he is a changed person, all giggly with her and has no thought of behaving like this in front of you.
Has he told you that he won't be taking her out to lunch again?

That eating off her plate thing is what stood out to me. There's a level of comfortability - I think I just made that word up - and intimacy to me.

 

[iamtan]

I don't know what to tell you but your story left me feeling uneasy.
It's like he is a changed person, all giggly with her and has no thought of behaving like this in front of you.
Has he told you that he won't be taking her out to lunch again?

He probably going to take her out again and talk to her to 3 am again. Smh. I just want to give up.

 

[gabulldawg]

You know something isn't right. It's painfully obvious. They are on their way to a full blown affair (if they aren't there already). You should decide what you want to do about it. Do you want to put up with it? Walk away? Give an ultimatum?

 

[spelmanlocks]

Nope, this is not okay, especially the eating food off of her plate. I would have went nutso on him. If he refuses to stop this behavior, personally I'd be done with him.

 

[Lilmama1011]

No no no! This is not right. Even if your comfortable in your shoes this is disrespectful. I would have been livid! Like the others pointed out, eating off the plate and changing his while demeanor is making me uneasy. I would have went off on the spot. You say the texts are appropriate they probably have a agreement to keep it clean after a certain time, don't be fooled. He sounds like he is having an emotional affair which some claim is the worst affair because it's more deeper than just sex. If you tell him your uneasy and he continues to do out, LEAVE HIM! No one deserves that treatment and she should know woman to woman it ain't right but it's on him because he lets her over step get boundaries and he is over stepping his as well

 

[Lilmama1011]

They are behaving just like people do on dates, it's not right and your gut is telling you its not

 

[nlamr2013]

Yeah op he's trife I suggest if he doesn't see how much of an issue this is for you id just move on.

 

[VelvetRain]

Op I can guarantee he's smashing her and you would be art to walk away immediately. How old are you? The fact you have been dating him for 3 years is a red flag to me alone. No discussion about marriage in all this time?

 

[caltron]

This definitely is not good. Even if they could argue that they are "just friends", you're understandably uncomfortable with the amount of time they spend together and the intimacy of their friendship. If he values you like he should, he shouldn't want you to feel that way and would put your feelings first. My hubby had female friends before we married, and he distanced himself from them after we became serious.

I know it's not easy, but you're somehow going to have to find the strength to walk away from this relationship.

 

[Eleven]

That's his backup plan in case things go pear shape with you! He's probably already gone to her to tell her about your fight, and she's smiling like the she-devil she is! I can't stand females that get cosy with a guy that's already taken. There should be a criminal charge for that. Seriously.

 

[sweetvi]

Until 3 in the am!!!


Eating off her plate?!?!

SMH. It is the emotional affair that is a problem. Not the physical. She already has him giggly and getting things for her that is the problem.......

 

[ThickRoot]

Uh, eating off her plate...smh that's not ok. Texting til 3am isn't either she's a co-worker!!! Men usually try to make you feel crazy in these situations, you are not crazy, trust. Follow your gut.

 

[lilanie]

Hold up, HOld up... Hold up.

This same boyfriend, OP?

In 6 months, it sounds like things have gotten worse.

Cut him loose, gal.

 

[HappywithJC723]

Go with your gut. I went through something very similar with a guy and come to find out later they were definitely having an emotional affair that escalated to something more and he ended up dumping me to be with her.

 

[A856]

this is a really unfortunate situation....trust your gut.

 

[OneShinyface]

He's not your boyfriend...he's HER boyfriend.

 

[LovelyLouboutin]

Walk away. This is in no way ok.

 

[Jasmataz]

Based off of this thread and the other thread, I think it's time for you to let this guy go. Not only is he having an emotional affair, but he's also bold enough to show his affection for this girl right in front of your face . Like someone else said, if nothing physical has happened yet, it will happen soon.

 

[TayMac]

I would dump him. He is treating you like the third wheel. They have formed an attachment and regardless of whether they have sexed or not, it is inappropriate and disrespectful to you.

Eating off her plate in front of me would have been the last straw. He probably sucks from her straw as well. Imagine that, get mad and let him go!

 

[Sosoothing]

You should have dumped him after the last thread you created concerning him not having "his stuff together". Adding these new happenings to the issues you two already had is just way too much. You shouldn't even be wondering what to do.

Think of it this way, why do you want a guy who isn't yet stable enough for marriage (which you said you want) and is now not treating you respectfully like his one and only?

 

[topnotch1010]

Hold up, HOld up... Hold up.

This same boyfriend, OP?

In 6 months, it sounds like things have gotten worse.

Cut him loose, gal.

Agreed. It's time to cut your losses. You're wasting time at this point.

 

[Zaynab]

She is very single; she just broke up with her boyfriend.

That's exactly what I thought. No she's looking. And he's being receptive. They are on the way to an affair and they will say "oh it just happened". No. And No.

Sent from yacht with Beyonce & Blue