My bf goes out with his coworker more than me!!!

HappywithJC723 said:
Go with your gut. I went through something very similar with a guy and come to find out later they were definitely having an emotional affair that escalated to something more and he ended up dumping me to be with her.
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Don't let this be you. :look:

He really had the audacity to be doing all of that in front of you?! And the fact that she's his coworker would make me even more uneasy. Who knows what they're doing for all those hours together (flirting, lunch, spending breaks together, etc.). Nah. I'd check out if I were you.
 
I would dump him so fast he'd be like Wait, what? He is is either playing you for a fool or he is an idiot. Either way, I wouldn't want him:nono:. In the end though this is about you and how you want to be treated, setting expectations, and expecting a level of respect. Stand up for yourself. Girl, just thinking about him giggling and eating off her plate has me fuming.
 
I would cease all communication. No breaking up. No nothing. Don't take any calls from him. Don't respond to any texts and do not contact him. Don't let him try to explain his outrageous and disrespectful behavior.

Just move on.

You deserve more. I hope you know that.


I wish I would sit there and watch him eat of her plate. I would have left right then and there. Wouldn't have been no type of discussion or argument.

I can't see any mentions on my IPhone. PM me if it is a must see. Allons y
 
How close do you have to be to another person to eat off their plate? For me, we would have at the very least kissed. I sure hate this for you OP, that co-worker is stealing your mans heart. She is in his head.
 
Oh please, tear shmears, we've seen it all. Bawling and crying while pleading for forgiveness as she ends up pregnant a few months down the line. Sob, sob I love you please give me one more chance while planning his wedding to the same person. I love FB pics sometimes. Tears don't mean jack especially when there's another woman involved unless its his mama, sister, cousin or auntie. Then I may actually listen to what he has to say. Then again some families.....Hmm !!!

He's just crying to shut you up. He aint sorry one bit. No good man will ever be affectionate with another woman in private or in public infront of people whether they know you or not. Your plate, your drink. The End.
 
I only skimmed the other thread so I really can't speak on that. I didn't see a smoking gun though. Given the fact that both of you are young and your bf is younger than you, I'm not surprised that marriage hasn't been a huge issue. Obviously its on your mind more because you are older and it sounds like you are ready for it.

OP, you are the only one that can decide how to handle this. You definitely deserve more. Honestly speaking, the only way your relationship is salvageable is if he agrees that his behavior is inappropriate and stops it immediately. Anything less is just him having his cake and eating it too. Also, I can appreciate that he is a sensitive man but I would have zero patience with a man crying over something he is currently doing to me. He can cry over his frustrations at work, family problems, health issues, etc but don't give me crocodile tears when you are out of order. Ain't nobody got time for that.
 
that's how relationships get started...if they aren't already seeing each other...it will happen soon!
 
hopeful said:
I would dump him so fast he'd be like Wait, what? He is is either playing you for a fool or he is an idiot. Either way, I wouldn't want him:nono:. In the end though this is about you and how you want to be treated, setting expectations, and expecting a level of respect. Stand up for yourself. Girl, just thinking about him giggling and eating off her plate has me fuming.
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hopeful I mean I was like my heart beating reading that thinking hell no. hell no. I'd be furious
 
OP I am an avid believer in friendships of the opposite sex, because I know the type of person that I am. But all of the things that you just stated are not only a cause for alarm but you should do as HanaKuroi stated and leave him, w/o having any conversation. Maybe in a few months to a year you guys can discuss the situation and why you felt the need to end the relationship but right now he will only guilt you into staying.

A short personal story:

A little over a year ago a guy I was dealing with (off and on for 2 years) invited me out with him and a male friend. The male friend invited a female who I was familiar with and could not stand. She came to the restaurant late and did not acknowledge me AT ALL but did acknowledge my male friend. Somewhere down the line this female decides to taste some food off of my friend's plate, my temperature skyrocketed! We finished dinner and while waiting for his friend and this female I told him how pissed I was about her eating off of his plate. He stated that there was nothing that he could do about it because he did not know that she was going to do it. I felt that he should have said something to her after the deed was done. We spoke for a weeks after that but he kept stating that he noticed a change in my personality. Truth was that I became pissed every time that I thought about what happened. I just could not let it go. One day I woke up and blocked his number and we have not spoken since. Recently he has sent me some linked in requests but I ignore all of them.

I have a big ego and that was a major blow to it!
 
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MzLady78 said:
OP is good. He might have gotten stabbed with a fork. :look:
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Very rarely do things around here upset me. But eating off his plate? Like I'm a nobody? No.no. no. My blood would boil. And he didn't stop her or see that it was inappropriate? This guy is a jerk

Sent from yacht with Beyonce & Blue
 
Hmmmmmmmmm?

Has the op been back to this thread?

I can't see any mentions on my IPhone. PM me if it is a must see. Allons y
 
Zaynab said:
Very rarely do things around here upset me. But eating off his plate? Like I'm a nobody? No.no. no. My blood would boil. And he didn't stop her or see that it was inappropriate? This guy is a jerk

Sent from yacht with Beyonce & Blue
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Yeah, that's crazy. I'm thinking about the people that I feel comfortable enough with that I would eat off their plate and he and this chick should not be on that level.
 
MzLady78 said:
Yeah, that's crazy. I'm thinking about the people that I feel comfortable enough with that I would eat off their plate and he and this chick should not be on that level.
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I BARELY eat off boys plates and they grew in my stomach. That's extremely intimate.

Sent from yacht with Beyonce & Blue
 
OP please update. This thread made me mad for you. I'm just imagining them tee heeing at your expense. Then out at lunch sharing food and she put her hand on his knee doing that innocent ish.

And then I find out this dude is younger than you...wooooh I would be so fired up.
 
HanaKuroi said:
I would cease all communication. No breaking up. No nothing. Don't take any calls from him. Don't respond to any texts and do not contact him. Don't let him try to explain his outrageous and disrespectful behavior.

Just move on.

You deserve more. I hope you know that.


I wish I would sit there and watch him eat of her plate. I would have left right then and there. Wouldn't have been no type of discussion or argument.

I can't see any mentions on my IPhone. PM me if it is a must see. Allons y
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Girl, you're like my twin. :yep:

No explaination, no conversation, no BS 'closure' lol no nothing. He'd think I vanished off the planet.
 
He's almost 25 and you are almost 30. You are ready for marriage and children and he is highly inappropriate and disrespectful with another woman. I don't know you, him nor your relationship but it looks like he is replacing you with her and right in front of your face.

I think if you are ready for a serious relationship then date older men in their 30's. Not that, that age is any different. But they are more commitment minded.

I honestly don't understand how you didn't break a plate off on top of his head. :nono: When people give me permission, I take liberties.
 
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After reading the old thread, it sounded like OP and BF agreed to see other people. Did I misunderstand that?
 
BEAUTYU2U said:
After reading the old thread, it sounded like OP and BF agreed to see other people. Did I misunderstand that?
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That was my understanding. I thought they broke up.

There is ALWAYS more to the story.

She is more into him than he is her. Never be more into a man than he is into you. And if you are, don't let him know it.

-there needs to be an LHCF guide to dating and relationships sticky.

I can't see any mentions on my IPhone. PM me if it is a must see. Allons y
 
He did all of this in font of your face?! He is not hiding it. He is sending YOU a message he wants out the relationship with you.
 
I took this new thread to mean that at some point, they got back together.

But they clearly have a history so his behavior is out of line and disrespectful either way.
 
BEAUTYU2U said:
That eating off her plate thing is what stood out to me. There's a level of comfortability - I think I just made that word up - and intimacy to me.
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. . . and it suggests a level of comfort, familiarity and intimacy that shouldn't exist between these two particular people!

Even when we girls eat from each others' plates, it only occurs between those of us with a very high level of familiarity. We know each other VERY well! If we don't know each other well we won't eat from each others' plates. We don't risk catching some communicable ailment from some woman we don't know.

Real-life example: A dude took me to dinner. He wanted romance from me, and said he was attracted to me. I felt he was too young, but he considered it romantic behavior on his part to order the dessert of my choice and then to eat the dessert from my plate. We shared the dessert. And I give the brotha his props; it was VERY romantic.

Tears or no tears once confronted by you, what your man did sounds pretty much like dude who ate from my plate: ROMANTIC!

. . . IMHO . . .
 
Update: we are still together... for now. He stated that if he wanted to cheat he would've done a long time ago and he has no reason to. He apologized for his actions and promised me that he wouldn't text her late or hang out with her unless there is a group involved. He is still in contact with her because that is his friend. I told him if he breaks that promise I'm out for good. He agreed. The coworker apologize as well. Like I said before, I still do not feel right about the situation but I can't just walk away from a 3 year relationship without having solid proof that he's cheating because there still might be a possibility that he is not.
 
I hope he keeps that promise. But now he knows he can get away with stuff. No boundaries.
 
I never understand these threads.

You knew you weren't going to leave when you started the thread so why bother asking opinions. It's not about cheating at this point, it's about the lack of respect.
 
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