Is Love Overrated?

[cocoberry10]

Wow, I feel sorry for some of you youngins! When you really fall in love, you will know beyond a shadow of doubt, it is not overrated. Do not buy into the media hype, this is not love. Like momma said, you will know when it is the real deal.
I think perhaps it gets confused with intimacy issues. And if there is one thing the media has destroyed with regard to "love"; it the absolute absence of intimacy in the images portrayed and sold to us. I'm not talking sex here, ladies. I am talking about allowing yourself to surrender to another person and feeling/knowing as if they have your back. Allowing one's self, warts and all to be with another authentically. With regard to sex, I have been particulary curious about some on the board who have stated they don't enjoy kissing as much as having oral sex or the other idea that just kills me; the idea that oral sex is not at all intimate. What???? Intimacy issues for sure. Kissing is the most intimate thing you can do with another. Considering my peer group somewhere north of most of you, this is a little disconcerting really.Most of us did not have this issue. I guess we have Bill Clinton to thank for this. How will you ever truly care for another if you are not willing to be vulnerable and know you will probably experience hurt. So many have carefully crafted a fortress around themselves so as not to be hurt. Good luck, you will never experience true love if you are not willing to vulnerable.

Thank you for writing this post and I totally agree!!!!!!

 

[serendipity]

No. But the expression 'Love conquers all ' is.

 

[Farida]

I still stand by my notion of love not being able to conquer all. I know several couples who love each other but cannot live together or raise a child together because of other issues - be it money, in-laws, religion, sex. I believe human love is overrated because unlike God's love it is not unconditional, it fades, it dies, and it is dependent on certain factors. Truth be told even in a long-term relationship there are times you are so upset or disappointed or frustrated that you can't even find it within yourself at that moment to say you love that person - even if you really do. Sometimes at that point all that gets you through is your commitment or vows or if you are married honoring God. That is why when you marry you need to marry someone who is more committed to God than he is to you, or is more committed to the institution of marriage than to you as an individual. With that type of dedication, both of you will overcome your selfish needs for a goal that is greater than y'all.

I have met several men in this life that I think I would be able to love if I got to know them better. However, I also know the reason I'm not with any of them is because I know things about them that would make a relationship almost impossible. Love does not conquer all, unless your name is God or Jesus.

 

[chitlj]

I still stand by my notion of love not being able to conquer all. I know several couples who love each other but cannot live together or raise a child together because of other issues - be it money, in-laws, religion, sex. I believe human love is overrated because unlike God's love it is not unconditional, it fades, it dies, and it is dependent on certain factors. Truth be told even in a long-term relationship there are times you are so upset or disappointed or frustrated that you can't even find it within yourself at that moment to say you love that person - even if you really do. Sometimes at that point all that gets you through is your commitment or vows or if you are married honoring God. That is why when you marry you need to marry someone who is more committed to God than he is to you, or is more committed to the institution of marriage than to you as an individual. With that type of dedication, both of you will overcome your selfish needs for a goal that is greater than y'all.

I have met several men in this life that I think I would be able to love if I got to know them better. However, I also know the reason I'm not with any of them is because I know things about them that would make a relationship almost impossible. Love does not conquer all, unless your name is God or Jesus.

God is love. Perhaps love conquers all does not mean love will fix all. When you can look at someone despite their flaws and love, truly love, that is a reflection of God's love. JMHO

 

[Country gal]

I still stand by my notion of love not being able to conquer all. I know several couples who love each other but cannot live together or raise a child together because of other issues - be it money, in-laws, religion, sex. I believe human love is overrated because unlike God's love it is not unconditional, it fades, it dies, and it is dependent on certain factors. Truth be told even in a long-term relationship there are times you are so upset or disappointed or frustrated that you can't even find it within yourself at that moment to say you love that person - even if you really do. Sometimes at that point all that gets you through is your commitment or vows or if you are married honoring God. That is why when you marry you need to marry someone who is more committed to God than he is to you, or is more committed to the institution of marriage than to you as an individual. With that type of dedication, both of you will overcome your selfish needs for a goal that is greater than y'all.

I have met several men in this life that I think I would be able to love if I got to know them better. However, I also know the reason I'm not with any of them is because I know things about them that would make a relationship almost impossible. Love does not conquer all, unless your name is God or Jesus.

Good points. I know I do get frustrated and inpatient in relationships. It does require a different type of commitment.

 

[Sunshine0801]

God is love. Perhaps love conquers all does not mean love will fix all. When you can look at someone despite their flaws and love, truly love, that is a reflection of God's love. JMHO

I totally agree with the bolded.

 

[Farida]

Yes you can love someone despite their flaws, but what happens when you have a MAJOR discrepancy on a large issue? Somethings cannot be compromised. Somethings should NOT be compromised and I don't think it means you love each other any less. It just means love isn't everything.

Don't get me wrong. Being in love is a wonderful thing. I'm in love. I have been for 4 years. I also recognize that FH and I have been and will continue to be together because not only do we love each other but other aspects of our lives fit in, our views and values, our styles our everything. I just don't think that just because a relationship doesn't work out it is because the people didn't really love each other. All that if you really love each other things will work out.

 

[dannie]

Since I've never been in love...this has all been very interesting to read.

 

[tarheelgurl]

Yes, love can be overrated. Last time I got married, I married for love. I found out, through my own experience and therapy, that eventually love leaves and that for a marriage to work you need to have something else there. Like friendship and common interests.

I am not saying in anyway that people don't remain "In love" their entire marriage/relationship, but for some, it does wear off. You still love that person but you are no longer "in love" with him/her. That's where you need respect and loyalty to kick in.

JMHO

 

[PaperClip]

Warning: I'm about to intellectualize love! (Yikes!)
Short answer: NO! Love is not overrated.
Expanded answer: Like somebody else said, people have misconceptions of love. What some folk are calling love ain't love. Sometimes it's lust, pity, compassion....

http://eaglevision.com.my/l13four.htm
The Greek language has three or four words for love:
--agape (godly/spiritual)
--storge (family affection)
--philia (friend, brotherly love (e.g., Philadelphia))
--eros (physical/sexual, erotic)

All four of these will exist in relationships, at different levels, at different times and seasons in the life of the relationship. Should the physical fade, if you have the other three, hopefully it is possible to be fulfilled through those other expressions....