To wait or walk away…..

[Kindheart]

I agree with Cherrypie .

He 's keeping his options open . I m a Sag married to a Sag . Within a couple of weeks we were talking about marriage . We like challenges but when we truly like someone we dive in nose down ,we put alot of effort in making sure our partner is happy .
If he s taking time he s pondering his options .
Play hard to get and always be nice ,polite ans assertive in a non threatening way.

 

[Renewed1]

Thanks for the GREAT advice ladies. I'll be cutting back on my time with him (his face last night was priceless when I told him I won't be coming over today after work). I'll keep busy with work and enjoying "me" time since my son will be going back to college soon.

I will give it another month or two. I refuse to bring it up again, and I will also keep my options open. Thanks so much!

Good luck!!!

 

[Zaynab]

I married a Sag. The person he dated before he met and married me he dated for five years with no title. One thing about them is they respond to no actions and contact, they like to be in control so you need to take control now and quickly. I would fall by now but continue to date him. They fall in love quickly and can get bored easily so seeing him 5-6x a week is no. I would NOT ever mention the relationship bit again unless he does. I'd date other people and be very busy. One thing about Sags is they lock down and go for what they want so you don't need to do a lot on your part.

Sent from yacht with Beyonce & Blue

 

[*CherryPie*]

OP, are you the one who was dating the wealthy non-black foreign guy? If so, what happened to him? I'm just nosey. I could have the wrong person though.

 

[VelvetRain]

Here’s the situation:
I’ve been dating this guy who’s been great, we started seeing each other April of this year. We were seeing each other only on weekends because he lived an hour away. He moved and he’s now 20 minutes away. We see each other 5-6 times a week and never get tired of each other. I’ve met all of his friends, we do a lot of outdoor activities together. We text throughout the day and things have been great. He’s attentive and touchy feely which I adore.

He’s 30, I’m 35. The other night I asked where was this relationship going. His response was “well it’s still early in the relationship, so I don’t feel we need the title girlfriend/boyfriend as of yet. We’re both exclusive, you’re the only one on my mind”. In another conversation he said that he realizes that my son is 19 years old and asked if I see myself having another child in the future. I’ve been a single mother from day one and the thought of having another kid was totally out of the question. For the first time in life I’m actually thinking about it and smiling at the thought of having a family with this guy. He has no kids of his own.

Do you feel his response to my question was a “he’s just not into you” thing or would you give it a little more time? October will make 6 months and I feel that may be more than enough time for him to make things official. He’s a Sagittarius, so I’ve hear they can drag their feet when it comes to commitments.

Um when you are with the right man God has for you to be with you will never have to ask where is this relationship going because he will be showing you where it is headed and want the same things you do! Women need to stop asking men this question. What guarantee do you have he is going to tell you the truth anyway. He will tell you just want you want to hear. A mans actions will tell you how he feels about you and where your so called relationship is going.

Also he has yet to make a commitment to you as in claiming you as his girlfriend. By 6 months if a man is truly feeling you he would have wifed you up all ready as you would be his girl or close to having a damn ring put on her finger. This dude is not serious about you and you need to walk away. You are clearly confused over this situation and God is not a God of confusion.

 

[Keshieshimmer]

OP, are you the one who was dating the wealthy non-black foreign guy? If so, what happened to him? I'm just nosey. I could have the wrong person though.

Lol. I was like I expected to see a update on her Russian man! Sorry I am nosey too (no dating life).

 

[Starronda]

I married a Sag. The person he dated before he met and married me he dated for five years with no title. One thing about them is they respond to no actions and contact, they like to be in control so you need to take control now and quickly. I would fall by now but continue to date him. They fall in love quickly and can get bored easily so seeing him 5-6x a week is no. I would NOT ever mention the relationship bit again unless he does. I'd date other people and be very busy. One thing about Sags is they lock down and go for what they want so you don't need to do a lot on your part.

Sent from yacht with Beyonce & Blue

Thanks! I'll keep all of this in mind. Last night I actually stayed my behind home . He wasn't too happy about that. So not mentioning the relationship again. I'll leave that in his court.

 

[Starronda]

Um when you are with the right man God has for you to be with you will never have to ask where is this relationship going because he will be showing you where it is headed and want the same things you do! Women need to stop asking men this question. What guarantee do you have he is going to tell you the truth anyway. He will tell you just want you want to hear. A mans actions will tell you how he feels about you and where your so called relationship is going.

Also he has yet to make a commitment to you as in claiming you as his girlfriend. By 6 months if a man is truly feeling you he would have wifed you up all ready as you would be his girl or close to having a damn ring put on her finger. This dude is not serious about you and you need to walk away. You are clearly confused over this situation and God is not a God of confusion.

Well actually it hasn't been 6 months yet. It's only been 4. I don't like assuming anything, so when I have a question I ask. Everything we do says relationship. He shows me and makes me feel great, so there's no doubt that he cares about me at all. If at 6 months he doesn't mention anything about a relationship I have no problem walking away and doing what I need to do.

 

[Starronda]

OP, are you the one who was dating the wealthy non-black foreign guy? If so, what happened to him? I'm just nosey. I could have the wrong person though.

*CherryPie* and Keshieshimmer, yes that was me dating the sexy Russian We dated for about a year. He lives in Queens and I live in Jersey. The distance and work got in the way of that relationship. He has his own business and works crazy hours, I work in Jersey and do commercial and residential real estate. He wanted me to move to the city with him, and I wasn't ready to do that. We called it off, but we're still great friends.

 

[VelvetRain]

Well actually it hasn't been 6 months yet. It's only been 4. I don't like assuming anything, so when I have a question I ask. Everything we do says relationship. He shows me and makes me feel great, so there's no doubt that he cares about me at all. If at 6 months he doesn't mention anything about a relationship I have no problem walking away and doing what I need to do.

Well you did ask for advice right? It doesn't matter the time period. You know deep down this dude doesn't care. Stop trying to convince yourself otherwise. I'm telling you you ask these men that and they will tell you what you want to hear. Ask away my dear. You will find yourself in the same position 6 months from now no where further with this dude than you are now. Good luck. Women waste so much time in dead end situations. Are you listening to Steve Harvey for advice? If so stop!

 

[FelaShrine]

aint that serious. sheesh.

 

[LovelyRo]

blackgirlsareeasy.com has a blog called Exclusive but not official:

http://blackgirlsareeasy.com/2013/04/exclusive-but-not-official.html

I think you should read this. I read this a month ago and thought about a throwback when reading this. He was a sag too. I don't think all sags are horrible, but I can't deal with them.

I came back to add, that he is 30. Old enough to know what he wants by now. He is blowing hot air and I would fall back. I know all men are different. I am in a LDR and we are at least 9 hours apart. He asked for us to be committed after almost 2 months.

That blog make me end things with this guy a few months ago after dating for 3/4 months!!!

 

[Fine 4s]

That blog make me end things with this guy a few months ago after dating for 3/4 months!!!

Did you find out if that decision was on point All4Tris ? I dated a guy for 4 months and new him for about 10 years and after it ended, wow, I sure realized it was a waste of my 4 months! I was all head over heals to! Lol smh ugh!

 

[Starronda]

Well you did ask for advice right? It doesn't matter the time period. You know deep down this dude doesn't care. Stop trying to convince yourself otherwise. I'm telling you you ask these men that and they will tell you what you want to hear. Ask away my dear. You will find yourself in the same position 6 months from now no where further with this dude than you are now. Good luck. Women waste so much time in dead end situations. Are you listening to Steve Harvey for advice? If so stop!

Girl bye! Not that serious to get rude Lmao

 

[CandiceC]

No need to walk away just yet. Just pull back a bit and wait another couple months. I wouldn't go any longer than that though.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

I ran outta newports, so Im gonna keep it simple,

He parked you in da promise land, on promise street sittin idle like a mug....

Tell u whatchu do, cuz I already peeped his game.

Flip da script shuga. See, with men, you gotta show'em better than tellin'em.

Stop being available all the time to him. If he calls, don't answer his call all the time. If you see him a few times outta da week, cut it down to once a week, or better, when he calls and ask when can he see you again, tell him "lemme get back witch on dat, ok?" And hang up.

If he calls to make plans or wants to come over to your place to see you, cut that out. He's gotten too comfortable with your puddi and your time and he is taking both for granted.

Your his meanwhile back at da ranch chick. If he was bout it bout it, like that Russian cat, you wouldn't have to ask a man where da relationship,is goin cuz you would always know.

Anytime you have to sit down and inquire about your position, you don't have one.

You're smart and clearly you ain't pressed, but remember, when dealing with men, the ball is ALWAYS in your court. In this instance, you have the ball.

Slam dunk his azzz and keep it pimpin. He's the type that will date you for like 2 years n shyt, then up jump da boogie and marry some chick after knowing her for like 72 hours.

Good luck, OP.

Now lemme get to da licka sto right quick and re-up!

 

[MzLady78]

^^^ So many gems in one post, love it!

 

[Starronda]

I ran outta newports, so Im gonna keep it simple,

He parked you in da promise land, on promise street sittin idle like a mug....

Tell u whatchu do, cuz I already peeped his game.

Flip da script shuga. See, with men, you gotta show'em better than tellin'em.

Stop being available all the time to him. If he calls, don't answer his call all the time. If you see him a few times outta da week, cut it down to once a week, or better, when he calls and ask when can he see you again, tell him "lemme get back witch on dat, ok?" And hang up.

If he calls to make plans or wants to come over to your place to see you, cut that out. He's gotten too comfortable with your puddi and your time and he is taking both for granted.

Your his meanwhile back at da ranch chick. If he was bout it bout it, like that Russian cat, you wouldn't have to ask a man where da relationship,is goin cuz you would always know.

Anytime you have to sit down and inquire about your position, you don't have one.

You're smart and clearly you ain't pressed, but remember, when dealing with men, the ball is ALWAYS in your court. In this instance, you have the ball.

Slam dunk his azzz and keep it pimpin. He's the type that will date you for like 2 years n shyt, then up jump da boogie and marry some chick after knowing her for like 72 hours.

Good luck, OP.

Now lemme get to da licka sto right quick and re-up!

Excellent advice! Love it. Thanks!!!!

 

[ms-gg]

Slam dunk his azzz and keep it pimpin. He's the type that will date you for like 2 years n shyt, then up jump da boogie and marry some chick after knowing her for like 72 hours.

Good luck, OP.

Now lemme get to da licka sto right quick and re-up!

This niccah said "up jump da boogie and marry some chick after knowing her for like 72 hours"

Been there, JUST did that! Ex just married a chick after knowing her 40 days lls. We JUST broke up and we were together for FAR TOO DAYUM LONG. My time is precious and these time wasters can kma. When a man knows, he knows and you will know. We know these things but we keep rationalizing the irrational...

 

[BelleCauchemar]

Well you did ask for advice right? It doesn't matter the time period. You know deep down this dude doesn't care. Stop trying to convince yourself otherwise. I'm telling you you ask these men that and they will tell you what you want to hear. Ask away my dear. You will find yourself in the same position 6 months from now no where further with this dude than you are now. Good luck. Women waste so much time in dead end situations. Are you listening to Steve Harvey for advice? If so stop!

LMBO Your man clearly not touching you right... no need to take it out on us lol.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

ThatJerseyGirl

I always love your posts!

Great advice. Ditto. Men know what they want and put a ring on it ASAP. DH's ex is still pissed that we got married "so quick". She told everyone who would listen that I must be pregnant.

I ran outta newports, so Im gonna keep it simple,

He parked you in da promise land, on promise street sittin idle like a mug....

Tell u whatchu do, cuz I already peeped his game.

Flip da script shuga. See, with men, you gotta show'em better than tellin'em.

Stop being available all the time to him. If he calls, don't answer his call all the time. If you see him a few times outta da week, cut it down to once a week, or better, when he calls and ask when can he see you again, tell him "lemme get back witch on dat, ok?" And hang up.

If he calls to make plans or wants to come over to your place to see you, cut that out. He's gotten too comfortable with your puddi and your time and he is taking both for granted.

Your his meanwhile back at da ranch chick. If he was bout it bout it, like that Russian cat, you wouldn't have to ask a man where da relationship,is goin cuz you would always know.

Anytime you have to sit down and inquire about your position, you don't have one.

You're smart and clearly you ain't pressed, but remember, when dealing with men, the ball is ALWAYS in your court. In this instance, you have the ball.

Slam dunk his azzz and keep it pimpin. He's the type that will date you for like 2 years n shyt, then up jump da boogie and marry some chick after knowing her for like 72 hours.

Good luck, OP.

Now lemme get to da licka sto right quick and re-up!

 

[Kindheart]

Any updates Starronda

 

[Starronda]

Thanks for asking Kindheart! Things have been amazing between the two of us. We still see each other 5-6 times a week, and I always stay over on the weekends. I met his parent's two weeks and I was introduced as his girl. We all had dinner together and went to a football game together in his hometown. We're going to Aruba together on October 21st for a week. Tomorrow it will officially be 6 months together

 

[dannie]

Thanks for asking Kindheart! Things have been amazing between the two of us. We still see each other 5-6 times a week, and I always stay over on the weekends. I met his parent's two weeks and I was introduced as his girl. We all had dinner together and went to a football game together in his hometown. We're going to Aruba together on October 21st for a week. Tomorrow it will officially be 6 months together

I'm glad it worked out for you!!! Nice to hear some happy endings around these parts...lol

:sweet:

 

[Kindheart]

Thanks for asking Kindheart! Things have been amazing between the two of us. We still see each other 5-6 times a week, and I always stay over on the weekends. I met his parent's two weeks and I was introduced as his girl. We all had dinner together and went to a football game together in his hometown. We're going to Aruba together on October 21st for a week. Tomorrow it will officially be 6 months together

Aww girl that's great news!!!,love is a beautiful thing Have a great time in Aruba,it's a wonderful place ! BIG HUG and all the best for the future !

 

[Starronda]

Aww girl that's great news!!!,love is a beautiful thing Have a great time in Aruba,it's a wonderful place ! BIG HUG and all the best for the future !

Thanks so much! I'm loving each and every moment of it.

 

[TwoSnapsUp]

Starronda great news! How did you get him to commit. Did following the advice work?

 

[Starronda]

@Starronda great news! How did you get him to commit. Did following the advice work?

@TwoSnapsUp. What I did was just live in the moment and instead of overthinking things which I tend to do, I stayed in the moment and enjoyed times with him. Just went with the flow. I did follow "some" of the advice that was given, many of the ladies had great things to say and the other half, well.........

Best thing I did was just put my guard down and just go with it. I'm in such a happy place in life right now and he adds to it.

 

[LiftedUp]

That's great to hear OP, wishing you the best on your relationship!

As blunt as VelvetRain was, I must admit that I agree with her. I don't play games. If I don't get a "title" within a month, maybe 2 months depending on our lifestyles. I'm out. You're not the one. It doesn't take a man that long to know if he wants to be with someone and to ensure that no other man swoops in while he's taking his time.

 

[preciouslove0x]

OP I'm really really glad it worked out for you for sure. But hopefully ladies reading realize "going with the flow " usually doesn't work out with the situation and details you presented (eg. the 25 years and no marriage thread). The dating game is definitely a learning process for me. But I've watched plenty of my friends end up in successful relationships. One thing I've learned from them is even the man who is slowest to make decisions in his life knows when he's found "a keeper " and will do whatever it takes not to lose her.

I know its just me but I would still be wondering why it took him so long to just give me the girlfriend title. But again that's just me *shrug*