Men Wanting You To Get Pregnant To Prove Your Fertility

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Ganjababy

Well-Known Member
before marriage.


So I have a friend who is a nice guy and a good catch. He has a masters and Works in a STEM field.

I noticed a trend with him. I suspect he is trying to get his future wife pregnant before marriage to ensure she can get pregnant. He was with one girl for a long time and after he got his career off the ground decided he was going to have a lil one and get married (according to him). But she got tired of waiting and started seeing someone on the side. He was about 36 and so was she at the time,

He left her and some (the serious ones relationship wise$ of the women he dates since, he told them straight up that he wants a child. 2 told him they were pregnant but it turned out to be lies.

He finally got one pregnant. They are getting married after the baby is born. The mother to be is 33 and he is 44.

What would you do if you met a guy and he wanted you to get pregnant before marriage to prove your fertility?

I overheard him talking about a mutual friend with Dh who has left his babies (5 kids) mother. He was saying the man was wicked to give her 5 kids and then leave her lol. I guess he takes fatherhood seriously and so he should but it was interesting hearing this from a Jamaican mans mouth.

So the soon to be mother moved in with him and the baby is booked to be born on a private hospital and they are planning for a wedding as soon as possible.
 
Lute said:
Trying to conceive without her permission or ahead of her schedule. I hope that makes sense
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Hmm I guess if he pretended he was wearing a condom, then maybe. But if he is just hitting it raw with her permission and she didn't see the need to get on contraception then this child was planned by both parents.

Sounds like they were both trying to trap each other to me:lachen:
 
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lesedi said:
Hmm I guess if he pretended he was wearing a condom, then maybe. But if he is just hitting it raw with her permission and she didn't see the need to get on contraception than this child was planned by both parents.

Sounds like they were both trying to trap each other to me:lachen:
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Oh!! :eek: Is that behavior common?
 
Yeah he is hitting it raw after he decides she is the one lol. But in the last 6-8 years it’s been maybe 3- 4 women including his current gf
 
I was just about to tell him that then his gf of one month (knew each other over 20 years as families are close, flirted for a few months got pregnant one month after becoming exclusive) got pregnant. Dh said he would have asked for a DNA test lol.
sgold04 said:
Hypothetical question: If he never got anyone pregnant, how long before he would check his own fertility?
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Not particularly but not bad. 6 figures and about to buy a house with a hefty down payment but I notice he only attracts women with no more than a high school diploma. He is nice looking but the women in his circle either like thugs or the ones on his level are already married. He has never been done online dating so his pool of women were very limited.
AnjelLuvs said:
I mean does he have bank like that, a groupie type come up...

I am not judging as he knows what he wants.. sounds trife, but hey...
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I'm trying to remember where I heard something similar. It was a white couple and the guy was filthy rich.

Anyway, I'm undecided. If its really that important then I understand wanting to know before marriage but it doesn't say much about his commitment to the person if he's not willing to stick around for better or worse. There are no guarantees in life or relationships and it feels like that's what he wants. He wants assurances that things will always go his way. Children are a big deal so I can't dismiss it completely but it doesn't sound like real love.
 
lesedi said:
Hmm I guess if he pretended he was wearing a condom, then maybe. But if he is just hitting it raw with her permission and she didn't see the need to get on contraception than this child was planned by both parents.

Sounds like they were both trying to trap each other to me:lachen:
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This is pitiful.. but unfortunately it happens
 
I wouldn't do it for the simple reason that I don't want to have children before marriage. :look: And I'd run the other way if a man came to me with this nonsense of proving my fertility. How does he know HE is fertile? o_O That said, the woman in this situation seems fine with it so all is well that ends well.
 
I'm thinking her age played to his advantage. If the lady was younger then she may not have agreed to it. But 33 and with a 'good catch' promising to marry you if you get pregnant...it makes sense if your bio clock is ticking and you want kids anyway. Plus their families know each other. It's a calculated risk on her part and a win for him. I do think something may be wrong with him though fertility wise and he knows/suspects it hence his requirement. Probably has a low sperm count or slow swimmers.
 
i do think if it was only about having a child he would have had one a long time ago. He is Jamaican after all. I think he wants the whole deal. At the right time and he was career focused for a bit too long. It was more difficult for him because he never even thought of online dating so he never widened his dating pool and I think he is a bit gauche. And as he got older he got a bit desperate because he said he did not see himself going with someone in their 20’s after he hit 40. So when he realized he had to start dating women in their 30 he started getting bolder?

Akemi said:
Sounds like he wants a baby more than a wife. I would never do it.
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This makes noooo sense to me. To answer the question, if I thought he was the one, I’d tell him we can see a specialist to verify we can both conceive. Then, we can get married and try then.

I just...I don’t get it. Plenty of people miscarry and them have healthy babies. What happens if she miscarries? He’s gonna start the whole thing over with another woman? The fact that he’s in a STEM field makes it even more confusing to me—why does he think the act of getting pregnant is it?
 
GreenEyedJen said:
This makes noooo sense to me. To answer the question, if I thought he was the one, I’d tell him we can see a specialist to verify we can both conceive. Then, we can get married and try then.

I just...I don’t get it. Plenty of people miscarry and them have healthy babies. What happens if she miscarries? He’s gonna start the whole thing over with another woman? The fact that he’s in a STEM field makes it even more confusing to me—why does he think the act of getting pregnant is it?
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seems like since he came up, he wants what he wants... like he Jay-Z or something... Lol...
 
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