The EX is PREGNANT!

[Jasmataz]

How long were you guys dating (or getting to know each other) before you became official? If you're estimating her to be around 3 months, and you guys have only been together for 3 months then that means he was sexing her right around the time you two became exclusive. I know some people move on fast, but that's just too fast, imo.

I think you should cut your losses and move on. I don't suggest waiting to find out if she's really pregnant because the longer you stay with him the more attached you and your child are going to feel, and that'll just make things even more complicated.

And like RocStar said, why is he still communicating with her in the first place? And why is she calling you, and how did she get your number?

 

[curlicarib]

From the first paragraph alone, I'd dump dude. Anyone who date a chick who'd get an abortion cause of her scheduled booty implant? Just screams ratchet.

The first thought that came to my head was.............birds of a feather. I'd be running so far from the man.

 

[TayMac]

I would move on now. 3 months is nothing in the grand scheme of this mess. Even if she isn't pregnant, I don't like drama like that.

What is so great about this guy because he sounds like a careless player that goes from woman to woman breaking hearts?

 

[CandiceC]

The first thought that came to my head was.............birds of a feather. I'd be running so far from the man.

Exactly. I'd wonder why he would be attracted to someone like that.

 

[cubanspice]

So many questions I need answered. This situation is sad. I'm with the other people and I say abandon ship while you can.

IMO, three months is too soon for your child to be attached to this guy and it is definitely too soon to be planning on getting married and having more kids with him. You're still in the honeymoon stage so of course some people can be blinded and will put up with stuff they usually wouldn't especially if they are desperate enough to be in a relationship and I hope this isn't the case OP. I have children and I have been dating my beau for around that amount of time and he has yet to meet mine. I won't allow it until I know for sure he is the real deal. You don't really know a person in 3 months.

Please leave. Even if she isn't really pregnant she will always be a problem in your relationship especially if she has ways to contact you both.

 

[january noir]

Chiiiile, I was waiting for someone to address this.

Giving ole boy the side eye from hell right now. 2 exes with drama? That's a problem.

Yup.

With alladat, you'd think he'd use double or triple condoms/get a vasectomy.

Too much drama OP. Pull back until the issue with the exes are totally resolved.

If he's willing to put in the work and clear his life of the domestic drama that is engulfing him, then consider dating again. No man worth having would want a woman he really loves to suffer bull droppings.

Yeah, you might want him and everything, but departed souls in hell want ice water too.

All jokes aside, I'm sorry you're going through, but more sorry for your daughter.

 

[dede1129]

He hasn't communicated back to her, she sent an email to his job and he hasn't responded yet. He wanted to figure out how this would impact us first so still no communication has happened on his part.

So, my question is why is he communicating back? If she has been bringing havoc on your relationship from the beginning, he has the power to stop that very easily. She is not the problem, unfortunately he is.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

How does she have people work emails and stuff ... how did she find you?

 

[bklynbornNbred]

She didn't state how many months she is I was trying to calculate myself but I honestly don't know. I just know that she moved back to California a month before we started dating and we have been together for 3 months.

You need to sleuth with information.

For example: if they last slept together on June 15 then her due date would be March 8, 2014 meaning she would be currently 16 weeks give or take. I just did a guestimate based on her being gone 1 month prior to your dating him for 3 months.

Get your data, google "due date calculators" then figure it out. She could be lying. He could be lying. She could be pregnant and fixin to be a spring guest on Maury because she has no idea how ovulation and due dates work. Or she could be a drama queen that will lie just to get one last chance and he needs to man up and put base in his voice when he tells her to back off. She could really be 3 months pregnant and hoping that he doesn't figure it out that it isn't his until she's already broken you up.

If the answers he gives you don't pan out then bounce. (Like hemming and hawing about last time they were together and/or if you actually overlapped).

However even without this drama I believe you are moving a wee bit too fast. Three months is way too soon for you to declare committment and introductions to your young child. You are 28 girl. Spend real time to see how he actually is with the child he has before making plans to have more. At the very least you wait until all ex's have been out of the picture for 9 months with no new bambino's listed on FB.

One last tip: ex's aren't always crazy. Don't assume she's the evil one he could very well be attempting to cover his mess. Get the data/information you need then proceed with caution.

 

[MzLady78]

^^^ What? Calculating due date and playing Inspector Gadget? Over some ninja she's only been with for 3 months?

Naw, man. Doing too much.

 

[DrC]

I don't know where to begin. I don't even know what to say.

 

[BostonMaria]

Something just doesn't add up. OP I'm sure you're lonely and the divorce probably drained you emotionally, but you might be opening up your life to lots of drama and anxiety. You're probably not going to leave him, but please be cautious and make sure not to exchange words with this crazy woman.

Some men like drama and for women to fight for them. I had an ex like that and I dropped him like a sack of potatoes. It's just wasn't worth my sanity and peace.

 

[dede1129]

No I am not lonely, I should have mentioned I was divorced 3 years ago so I have had my "me" time and am good as far as that is concerned. I am reviewing the facts as this situation just happened this morning and that doesn't mean I will stay with him.

I do think it is interesting that you mention guys wanting women to fight for them because I have seen signs of that with him with that reverse psychology like "If you cared about me you would..." I peeped game on that one. Good Point!

Something just doesn't add up. OP I'm sure you're lonely and the divorce probably drained you emotionally, but you might be opening up your life to lots of drama and anxiety. You're probably not going to leave him, but please be cautious and make sure not to exchange words with this crazy woman.

Some men like drama and for women to fight for them. I had an ex like that and I dropped him like a sack of potatoes. It's just wasn't worth my sanity and peace.

 

[LiftedUp]

Leave.

His ex is pregnant and right now he should be with her and giving her the support that she needs during the pregnancy. He needs to man up and not leave a pregnant lady alone.

After, when the dust clears (baby is born and mother and baby are in good standing) you can decide the steps to take.

It may be an ex, but I cannot respect a man who is dating while he has a baby on the way. It speaks volumes of his character or lack thereof.

All the best

 

[dede1129]

She is Mexican and has been with her family in Mexico since they split so I know for a fact he was not sexting her and me, that is not the issue. For me, I would prefer to date just one guy at a time so when we met we had similar goals and wanted to get to know each other exclusively and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I didn't agree to marriage but I did agree to be exclusive in our relationship.

She got my number from him (yes there was an argument about that) because she assumed I was in the picture the whole time during their relationship and he told her she could call me to verify. They had a car accident while together and were splitting the insurance payment which is why in the beginning prior to us being exclusive he gave the number. I don't agree with that decision but it is what it is.

How long were you guys dating (or getting to know each other) before you became official? If you're estimating her to be around 3 months, and you guys have only been together for 3 months then that means he was sexing her right around the time you two became exclusive. I know some people move on fast, but that's just too fast, imo.

I think you should cut your losses and move on. I don't suggest waiting to find out if she's really pregnant because the longer you stay with him the more attached you and your child are going to feel, and that'll just make things even more complicated.

And like RocStar said, why is he still communicating with her in the first place? And why is she calling you, and how did she get your number?

 

[Sosoothing]

Are there any worthwhile benefits you get by staying with him with all this baggage?
I would drop him ASAP.

 

[BostonMaria]

No I am not lonely, I should have mentioned I was divorced 3 years ago so I have had my "me" time and am good as far as that is concerned. I am reviewing the facts as this situation just happened this morning and that doesn't mean I will stay with him. I do think it is interesting that you mention guys wanting women to fight for them because I have seen signs of that with him with that reverse psychology like "If you cared about me you would..." I peeped game on that one. Good Point!

My ex (this was over 11 years ago) gave the other woman my email address, showed her forums I posted on, gave her my phone number... you can't imagine all the stuff I went through for over a year. I finally woke up one Day and said f this LOL it took me a while to find myself. I can't say if your man is like this, but just be cautious.

 

[SincerelyJane]

I think I would just pump the breaks and take a break from dude while he sorts this whole mess out. This does not have to be your problem, so do not make it so.

 

[bklynbornNbred]

Leave.

His ex is pregnant and right now he should be with her and giving her the support that she needs during the pregnancy. He needs to man up and not leave a pregnant lady alone.

After, when the dust clears (baby is born and mother and baby are in good standing) you can decide the steps to take.

It may be an ex, but I cannot respect a man who is dating while he has a baby on the way. It speaks volumes of his character or lack thereof.

All the best

You're assuming that the ex is actually pregnant and that the baby is actually her boyfriends. There are red flags for sure but the pregnancy &/or alleged dates have not been confirmed.

I won't get into details but I've known a few birds that have faked a pregnancy to attempt to get back with an ex in the past (one went so far as to "stage" a miscarriage sending pictures from the hospital as "proof"). In that case he felt so guilty he got back with her but the inevitable break up happened a few years later.

 

[Mortons]

Her booty implants though? Can you tell by the way she looks if she got them?

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

^^^ What? Calculating due date and playing Inspector Gadget? Over some ninja she's only been with for 3 months?

Naw, man. Doing too much.

That's what I was about to say. too much energy wasted on a negro. He can't be that special.

 

[nlamr2013]

No sure is srs. This is too much drama for me. Lawd

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

It's nasty how quick men go from sexing one woman to being in an exclusive relationship with another woman. Anyhoo, too early in the relationship for this drama, not to mention I wouldn't have the energy for it. The longer you wait the more you will get attached. Time to chuck the deuces.

 

[Mai Tai]

So OP...when you were a little girl playing with your naked Barbies in the tub, did you envision yourself getting married to a man with 2 kids by 2 different women?

Didn't think so...

 

[PureSilver]

Pump your brakes OP. How do you know if she is telling the truth or trying to get you to leave him based on her lies? Don't let no one have that much power over your relationship. Check it! He should tell her that he still has no interests in her and a baby can not make him go back to her. Women are buying positive pregnancy tests and faking miscarriages or abortions later is a reality.

If she's lying she will change her tune. Either way in 6 months time will tell anyway. But my bet is that this is her way of trying to break you guys up. Don't let her evil plan succeed. Flip the script on her!

Agreeing with this!

I know of a situation almost identical to op's and neither of the 2 women is with the man now. OP i think you should get the facts and if the EX is indeed pregnant.....chile RUN 4 YA LIFE. It's not worth the trouble and you have a daughter to raise, like other's have said if she is pregnant it will be too much baggage and drama from two baby mamas plus the man himself. It aint worth it. You have to show your daughter the kind of man that she should be interested in and consider a life with, your baby can do without all the strain and pain this situation will bring.

Best of luck to you.

 

[Mai Tai]

So after only three months of dating you all think OP should get all the facts before making a decision? Even if the girl is not pregnant, him having a crazy intruding ex-girlfriend isn't enough of a sign to roll out?

 

[prettyinpurple]

He gave your number to her??? Don't ever give my number w/o permission. Goes w/o saying that an ex-gf does not need it. That move signifies that he's just playing with both of y'all. I wouldn't stand for it. Calling me to confirm some foolishness to your ex? Please...

Now there's this drama. Time to go. He is just pitting you against each other and that's a sorry man IMO.

 

[PureSilver]

My ex (this was over 11 years ago) gave the other woman my email address, showed her forums I posted on, gave her my phone number... you can't imagine all the stuff I went through for over a year. I finally woke up one Day and said f this LOL it took me a while to find myself. I can't say if your man is like this, but just be cautious.

So after only three months of dating you all think OP should get all the facts before making a decision? Even if the girl is not pregnant, him having a crazy intruding ex-girlfriend isn't enough of a sign to roll out?

Mai Tai personally i would run for my life but i cannot tell op what to do i was merely making suggestions. I would run sooner than later.

BostonMaria that's deep i would be seeing pure red if this happened to me.

 

[Lenee925]

She is Mexican and has been with her family in Mexico since they split so I know for a fact he was not sexting her and me, that is not the issue. For me, I would prefer to date just one guy at a time so when we met we had similar goals and wanted to get to know each other exclusively and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I didn't agree to marriage but I did agree to be exclusive in our relationship.

She got my number from him (yes there was an argument about that) because she assumed I was in the picture the whole time during their relationship and he told her she could call me to verify. They had a car accident while together and were splitting the insurance payment which is why in the beginning prior to us being exclusive he gave the number. I don't agree with that decision but it is what it is.

Girl he seems trifling as hell

 

[Kindheart]

Op I wouldn't waste time with this beta male.

He s immature ,has too much baggage and drama . I d leave him alone.