"men Dont Love Women Like You"

@ArcticFemme & @*CherryPie* I can relate to both of your responses , *CherryPie* I too am usually thought of as the one that got away. ( I know to some it may sound egotistical) I have never had an issue with dating or relationships. When I was ready to settle down I did and when I wanted to remain single I did. I actually enjoy the game. But I think my level of confidence and self esteem plays a big part. I can be as sweet as pie to my partner but I have never ever been a doormat, and men discern that very quickly. I agree with ArcticFemme that women have studied men for centuries. However, I think Black women have been at a disadvantage in this area. So this all may seem new to some of us. Other cultures have been honing their skills for 'catching a man' for years. Whether it's through arranged marriages or through their college curriculum 'find your husband before you graduate'. As for Black women's strategies we have been so laxed in this area that now we have other races (Beckys) creeping into our territory. I think this book and books like these are necessary and helpful for some, as for me they are wonderful reinforcements, to what I've known and practiced for years.
 
I didn't learn much from the books that I've read about men and how to be in relationships. Those books were Men are from Mars, Why men love Bs and Why men won't commit. I don't wanna buy another book on relationships because I've come to realize it's not about relationships but about me! I reluctantly bought this one and I'm hoping it's the last. This book had me feeling good, strutting down the street when I got off the train. Just-a-strutting feeling good. Why? because the book made me feel in control again and removed this superiority problem that I often have in my head. He wants her because I wasn't good enough. NO! So for me, it's been helpful. His writing is clear as if a friend was talking to me.
It might have to be a book that I read often and over and over again to practice the lessons.
 
Fine 4s said:
Maaaaan I'm still reading and forcing myself to put it down. It touches on so much more than dating. It goes to the root cause, the you and even talks about family. In thinking about taking a drive to visit my father, have a heart to heart, cry and move on. He needs to know how walking away as I cried for him stayed for me forever. How when I knew he had another family made me feel unloved and discarded, how his white wife who didn't want me around and if hear them arguing about it made me scared that night and I wanted to go home. How I'm envious of his relationship with his son. The son I felt he chose to bond with more than me. How he lives an hour away and I haven't seen him in years....I'm going to say all of that.....and I'm going to try and let it go....wow, I love this book. Thanks OP. He removes the shame and makes you wanna laugh at yourself....
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wwwwww ooowww

*hugs*
 
@*CherriPie* I have a very similar track record to yours as do many women. But guys do and say anything to hold on to pus....plain and simple. I am not validated by men's unwavoring attention and compliments about how different I am..Or by good guys who want me back in a relationship. They say the same shyt to a lot of women because it feeds the ego of women who feel the need to feel superior to other women. Especially if they peep that there is a deficit in her self esteem. But anyway, this book is deeper than that. Read a bit of it and you'll see what I mean. I am married and I saw something in his readings that spoke to me especially in my past thinking. I'm not saying that you need this book or any woman on here. It's for those who are interested...but I thought it was a great share and it may help someone understand themselves as it relates to their attitudes, thoughts and behaviors in relationships and what they are attracting.
 
I understand what you mean...but it's not just what they say, and I'm not going to share too much of my life on the Internet. But, It's not the same thing. I guess, sometimes you can't really explain TYPED words as clearly as you want to. I've never needed a book to get the man that I've wanted for dating or marriage...or to keep him. I guess you would have to be in my shoes to understand.

ChasingBliss said:
@*CherriPie* I have a very similar track record to yours as do many women. But guys do and say anything to hold on to pus....plain and simple. I am not validated by men's unwavoring attention and compliments about how different I am..Or by good guys who want me back in a relationship. They say the same shyt to a lot of women because it feeds the ego of women who feel the need to feel superior to other women. Especially if they peep that there is a deficit in her self esteem. But anyway, this book is deeper than that. Read a bit of it and you'll see what I mean. I am married and I saw something in his readings that spoke to me especially in my past thinking. I'm not saying that you need this book or any woman on here. It's for those who are interested...but I thought it was a great share and it may help someone understand themselves as it relates to their attitudes, thoughts and behaviors in relationships and what they are attracting.
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*CherryPie* said:
I understand what you mean...but it's not just what they say, and I'm not going to share too much of my life on the Internet. But, It's not the same thing. I guess, sometimes you can't really explain TYPED words as clearly as you want to. I've never needed a book to get the man that I've wanted for dating or marriage...or to keep him. I guess you would have to be in my shoes to understand.
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I understand. If this was a livingroom chat amongst friends, I'd get what you were trying to say better, Im sure. Again, I realize that this book isnt for everybody. Some women naturally have that Spartan effect.
 
It's not necessarily the Spartan effect. I just never had the difficulty that a lot of women have with getting or keeping the guy that I want. And I've never understood the need for all of the books.

.
ChasingBliss said:
I understand. If this was a livingroom chat amongst friends, I'd get what you were trying to say better, Im sure. Again, I realize that this book isnt for everybody. Some women naturally have that Spartan effect.
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*CherryPie* said:
It's not necessarily the Spartan effect. I just never had the difficulty that a lot of women have with getting or keeping the guy that I want. And I've never understood the need for all of the books.

.
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There's experiential/anecdotal knowledge and then there's sort of knowing the science behind it.
I think the books fall into the latter category. I'm big on knowing how things work and hearing the theories of such.

Another thing I want to add, is that the game has changed. The dating climate has changed dramatically from when I was in my 20's. This change is due to many reasons. I like hearing the pov's of the amateur and expert sociologists alike.
 
I don't care what knowledge is behind it. I don't put too much energy into stuff like that. I just be myself. Period. I don't care to know what the books say, because those are just regular people and their opinions anyway.

keyawarren said:
There's experiential/anecdotal knowledge and then there's sort of knowing the science behind it.
I think the books fall into the latter category. I'm big on knowing how things work and hearing the theories of such.

Another thing I want to add, is that the game has changed. The dating climate has changed dramatically from when I was in my 20's. This change is due to many reasons. I like hearing the pov's of the amateur and expert sociologists alike.
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*CherryPie* said:
I don't care what knowledge is behind it. I don't put too much energy into stuff like that. I just be myself. Period. I don't care to know what the books say, because those are just regular people and their opinions anyway.
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I wasn't countering what you were saying. I was providing a pov. My post wasn't about the validity of your dating abilities.

And no, scientists aren't regular people. They've studied humans for years and some of these books are written by laymen who provide a neutral pov...as opposed to a scorned friend who gives shitty advice.

We get it. Your intuition is strong enough to date effectively. Yay.
 
*CherryPie* said:
I don't care what knowledge is behind it. I don't put too much energy into stuff like that. I just be myself. Period. I don't care to know what the books say, because those are just regular people and their opinions anyway.
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keyawarren said:
And no, scientists aren't regular people. They've studied humans for years and some of these books are written by laymen who provide a neutral pov...as opposed to a scorned friend who gives shitty advice.
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The 'problem' is that 'naturals' can't explain it to those who don't get it. I've been trying for years, but it's really an instinctual thing. That's why we need experts to break it down right.
 
Honey Bee said:
The 'problem' is that 'naturals' can't explain it to those who don't get it. I've been trying for years, but it's really an instinctual thing. That's why we need experts to break it down right.
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Right.

So let people have their damned books.

There are a few people on here who I totally recommended why men love *****es. As I said before, the guidelines help you fake it till you make it. I totally didn't get why we women do or don't do certain things while dating until I started to employ certain tactics.

For those that don't have "it" the quicklists/pointers are just gentle reminders and encouragement. Shrug.

I meet men. I'm also the one who got away to a few of exes, but I still haven't reached my goal of attaining s healthy marriage. Now, am I doing something totally wrong? Perhaps. Would I like to know whether its me or not? Absolutely.

That's where the other povs come in.
 
Honey Bee said:
The 'problem' is that 'naturals' can't explain it to those who don't get it. I've been trying for years, but it's really an instinctual thing. That's why we need experts to break it down right.
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And now that I have your attention... When are you gonna send me my list of where to meet men? Hmm? :look: Ok, Thanks.
 
keyawarren said:
And now that I have your attention... When are you gonna send me my list of where to meet men? Hmm? :look: Ok, Thanks.
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That's easy. Places where you not there to socialize. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but 1, it cuts down on competition, and 2,... it's similar to what the PUA's refer to as 'day game'. (google that) The idea is, you catch them off guard, 'when they weren't even looking'.

Bonus points for catching them at their job :look: which tells you,1, that they're employed, and 2, what they pockets might be looking like. :up: Oh, and you meet them on their best behavior which could set the tone for the rest of your interactions. Guys treat a girl different based on where they met her.

eta: You always have my attention! <3 Girl, I had bronchitis!!! Last night was the first night I slept and didn't sound like an 80 yo suffering from emphysema. :lol: :nono:
 
There didn't have to be a hump. People don't seem to understand that a person can make a statement but you don't have to respond, even if you want to. They could've just let my lil statement be just that..a statement.

Honey Bee said:
I was trying to get us over that hump. Did it work? :look:
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*CherryPie* said:
There didn't have to be a hump. People don't seem to understand that a person can make a statement but you don't have to respond, even if you want to. They could've just let my lil statement be just that..a statement.
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I know, girl. I understand. But to them, it feels like a 3b coming into a thread about curl definition talking bout, 'Well, all I do is put some water on it and it curls right up.' :lol: You get it.
 
Granted I haven't read this book yet but he usually does more than give advice or provide steps on how to "catch" a man. He has stated that women inherently attract men, quality or otherwise, whether they want to or not, that is a given, he focuses on what women do once they have a man they want or want to use to really take a step back and ensure they are getting exactly what they want. Just like some people don't know what they want out of their job some don't know what they want out of a man (just b/c you have him doesn't mean you're using him to his fullest potential). IMHO he is like a funny friend who is good at talking about mistakes he's experienced, heard or seen. Taking or not taking his relationship advice isn't the central point of reading the book. To me it gives off the same feeling as reading advice posts on LHCF if you enjoy hearing people talk about your value as a woman you'll enjoy him.
 
ArcticFemme said:
Attracting a bunch of men you don't want doesn't make you a game-changer. That's the situation for just about every woman on earth. :look:

This isn't the first or last book that teaches power dynamics. Women back in the day, especially those of the upper classes, studied men. They took courses in seduction and mastery of the male mind. Being able to outwit and seduce any man was the only way for a woman back then to yield power in a male-dominated society. Then somewhere we stopped. There is a reason why politicians, world leaders, major entertainers, and successful businessmen hold so much power over the masses-- they have studied and mastered human nature. They don't rely only on intuition or "common sense" because people are more complex than we realize. The more you know about the instincts, motivations, and thought patterns of a particular group of people, the more power you have over them. If you don't find the information useful, just keep it moving. I never shy away from knowledge.
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I agree about the need to study people. We study every other aspect of our lives when it comes to getting what we want but when it comes to women reading books about relationships and men people make the statement "it's common sense". If it's so daggone common, why are so many people, MEN AND WOMEN, of all races single and lonely.

I loathe when people come into the relationship threads and say these things. If common sense has worked for you then why are you here?
 
TopShelf said:
I agree about the need to study people. We study every other aspect of our lives when it comes to getting what we want but when it comes to women reading books about relationships and men people make the statement "it's common sense". If it's so daggone common, why are so many people, MEN AND WOMEN, of all races single and lonely.

I loathe when people come into the relationship threads and say these things. If common sense has worked for you then why are you here?
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My first impression would be to boost their ego. Some people need to feel superior by lauging at the plight of others. However, some people's personalities are just built a certain way and the way they come off gets misunderstood. Either way it's cool. It all boils down to how one feels about the self. I can recognize a thing and not have it affect me personally. But I feel for others who may not be as thick in skin. Shoot I always have, which is why I became a social worker and therapist.
 
Also, I kind of like how this guy has this repel affect. His blogsite is "Black Girls Are Easy"
The name of his book "Men Dont Love Women Like You"

It's designed to make the high and mighty say "nah, that aint me, this stuff is for them other chicks who have low self esteem problems" :lol: But for the most part, the very folks he repels are the ones he is talking too. It's psychological warfare for your benefit. Those who bite will learn what he is REALLY trying to convey.
 
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