Married in the eyes of GOD

[Amour]

Anyone ever had a wedding/ marriage union without the legal bits? Married in the eyes of God only?

Maybe you wanted to get legally married at another time but couldn't afford it, so decided to get married in Gods eyes until you could afford your legal wedding?

You maybe you didn't care (for what ever reason) for the legal technicalities (sp?).

If so how did you do this!?

I look forward to any responses

 

[gone_fishing]

I don't know how it is in the UK but in the US if you want to get married it's only approx. 50 to do it at the courthouse and it's legal.

I personally do not believe that you are married in the eyes of God if you are not married in the eyes of the law.

In fact, in this country it is illegal in ALL states to have a marriage ceremony without first having obtained a marriage license and it is also illegal for any officaiant to perform a marriage ceremony without a marriage license.

 

[FlowerHair]

In Sweden both church weddings and all types of religious weddings are legal if they have a license from the state. So here it's ok to be married in the eyes of God, because it's legal and valid. But if it weren't, I wouldn't spend time and energy on it...

But here it's actually cheaper to go to the equivalent of the mayor's office/city council.

I don't see the point of getting married without the legal consequences, because that's such a big part of marriage.

I haven't heard of anyone doing this.

 

[belleama]

I've never heard of anything like this except sometimes celebrities go off and get married on some island where the marriage isn't legal in their home country.

This sounds interesting but I don't exactly get the point. Either you are married or you aren't, right? Why would you want God to know you are married but not anyone else (or forgo the legal protections)? erplexed

I hope someone has the answer you are looking for because I really am interested in hearing this. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

ETA: Is this one of those, "So we can live together" and have sex things?

 

[dlewis]

Really, I mean how much can it be to get married. I know people who say Ow we're married in Gd's eyes and it always sounds weird. I don't know how much we paid to get married but it wasn't much.

 

[honeybadgirl]

i totally get what every else is saying but think about it, "legally married" is what man made. and it is what it is...legal, entitlements etc. marriage is spiritual...to some anyway. when they were getting married in the days of paul, mary, moses and what not, no one went down to a city hall and signed papers so then they werent really married, a union joined together even though they had a ceremony?

oh and no, it doesnt cost much to get legally married.

 

[Suerte]

until you could afford your legal wedding?

Don't legal weddings only cost like... $12-$100? Maybe a tad more if a blood test is required...but it is cheap to get married.

 

[BlkHoneyLuv2U]

I think when the OP says legal wedding, she is talking about affording that big church wedding that most of us ladies want. To the original poster, if I am correct in my assumption, you can have a legal marriage at your local courthouse for less than 100$ and still have the church wedding when you are better able to afford it. That is what I am planning to do in November of this year.

 

[Amour]

i totally get what every else is saying but think about it, "legally married" is what man made. and it is what it is...legal, entitlements etc. marriage is spiritual...to some anyway. when they were getting married in the days of paul, mary, moses and what not, no one went down to a city hall and signed papers so then they werent really married, a union joined together even though they had a ceremony?

oh and no, it doesnt cost much to get legally married.

This is what i'm getting at. I wanted to know whether anyone for whatever reason (maybe you couldn't afford the wedding you desired at the time - but still wanted to be married and would have the legal/ formal/ wedding of your dreams at another date; or maybe you just wanted to be married in the eyes of God only - and didn't want all the legal technicalities/ protection - call it what you may) decided to get married in the eyes of God?

I don't mean the cost of the marriage itself, i'm sure weddings at the registery office here in the UK are free. By cost I mean you couldn't afford the whole sha-bang, reception etc. Although many people get married at the courthouse/ registery office alot of people don't go ahead and do the formal marriage course they are legally married anyway.

Anyone ?

 

[envybeauty]

I am having a blond moment...what do you mean? In many countries, people do the civil ceremony separate from the religious ceremony. They literally have two events sometimes months apart.

Marriage is what people make of it according to their customs. If a couple jumping a broom in timbuktu is considered a binding marriage ceremony, then those two are married in timbuktu and they will be considered married in the us (and probably the uk). The only time a marriage is invalid here but valid abroad is when it goes against public policy (like marrying first cousins, etc.). If you are married, you are married. It is legal regardless of whether it is city halls doing it or not. (hence the recognition by some states of common law marriage).

I know plenty of people who just go to the justice of the peace to get married and they don't have the big ceremony. They are still married today. No one is going to condemn them for not having a wedding. They are husband and wife regardless.

It is better to be married (wedding or not), than to live with someone indefinitely wondering when and what if...

 

[gone_fishing]

i totally get what every else is saying but think about it, "legally married" is what man made. and it is what it is...legal, entitlements etc. marriage is spiritual...to some anyway. when they were getting married in the days of paul, mary, moses and what not, no one went down to a city hall and signed papers so then they werent really married, a union joined together even though they had a ceremony?

oh and no, it doesnt cost much to get legally married.

Interesting. I don't recall anyone in the bible talking about a "marriage license" but I do recall a "bill of divorcement" being issued at the end of a marriage so it was still a "legal" matter if I'm not mistaken.

So basically I don't know about the Bible days but I know in the US on TODAY, it's illegal to have a wedding without a marriage license in every state. It's also illegal for an officiant to officiate a wedding without seeing a valid marriage license. If you need me to pull up statutes from the various states, I can.

The reason this is relevant legally is because Romans 13:1-7 states: "Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. For he is God's servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God's servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing. Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor."

That passage makes it abundantly clear. We are to obey the government God places over us. God created government to establish order, punish evil, and promote justice (Genesis 9:6; 1 Corinthians 14:33; Romans 12:8). We are to obey the government in everything - paying taxes, obeying rules and laws, showing respect, etc. If we do not, we are ultimately showing disrespect towards God, for He is the One who placed that government over us. When the Apostle Paul wrote Romans 13:1-7, he was under the government of Rome, during the reign of Nero, perhaps that most evil of all the Roman Emperors. Paul still recognized that government’s rule over him. How can we do any less?

Now there are times when we should disobey the laws but that's a different thread.

 

[PanamasOwn]

Im not sure how it works in other states, but in Texas we have a thing called "common law" marriage. Basically as long a couple lives together and agrees that they are married, they are married. Now when it comes to seperation it can get a little sticky, but Tx recognizes this as lawful and on the books. No court, no money, no justice of the peace; just two folks agreeing to be husband and wife and live in the same household...

Does any other states have this?

 

[gone_fishing]

Im not sure how it works in other states, but in Texas we have a thing called "common law" marriage. Basically as long a couple lives together and agrees that they are married, they are married. Now when it comes to seperation it can get a little sticky, but Tx recognizes this as lawful and on the books. No court, no money, no justice of the peace; just two folks agreeing to be husband and wife and live in the same household...

Does any other states have this?

That's a little miscommunicated fact. There is no "common law" marriage in Texas anymore.

http://www.usmarriagelaws.com/search/united_states/texas/index.shtml


ETA:

You know let me clarify before anyone comes back and says I don't know what I'm talking about.

Texas calls it an "informal marriage," rather than a common-law marriage. Under § 2.401 of the Texas Family Code, an informal marriage can be established either by declaration (registering at the county courthouse without having a ceremony), or by meeting a 3-prong test showing evidence of (1) an agreement to be married; (2) cohabitation in Texas; and (3) representation to others that the parties are married. A 1995 update adds an evidentiary presumption that there was no marriage if no suit for proof of marriage is filed within two years of the date the parties separated and ceased living together.

 

[PanamasOwn]

That's a little miscommunicated fact. There is no "common law" marriage in Texas anymore.

http://www.usmarriagelaws.com/search/united_states/texas/index.shtml


ETA:

You know let me clarify before anyone comes back and says I don't know what I'm talking about.

Texas calls it an "informal marriage," rather than a common-law marriage. Under § 2.401 of the Texas Family Code, an informal marriage can be established either by declaration (registering at the county courthouse without having a ceremony), or by meeting a 3-prong test showing evidence of (1) an agreement to be married; (2) cohabitation in Texas; and (3) representation to others that the parties are married. A 1995 update adds an evidentiary presumption that there was no marriage if no suit for proof of marriage is filed within two years of the date the parties separated and ceased living together.

I was just about to post this... Texas still observes it, but the only update is that it must be within court/state files within two years of the "assumed marriage" or else it won't be recognized. But yea, trust me, I know PLENTY ot common law married folk. And technically it is within the eyes of God, because it is within the parameters of the law. (until further notice, or an amendement to it)

 

[gone_fishing]

I was just about to post this... Texas still observes it, but the only update is that it must be within court/state files within two years of the "assumed marriage" or else it won't be recognized. But yea, trust me, I know PLENTY ot common law married folk. And technically it is within the eyes of God, because it is within the parameters of the law. (until further notice, or an amendement to it)

True as long as it is within the eyes of the law. Unfortunately, not every law is the same from state to state (not even those that allow common law marriages). There are VERY FEW common law marriage states now.

Currently, only 10 states (Alabama, Colorado, Kansas, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Iowa, Montana, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania and Texas) and the District of Columbia recognize common-law marriages contracted within their borders. In addition, five states have "grandfathered" common law marriage, allowing those established before a certain date to be recognized. New Hampshire recognizes common law marriage only for purposes of probate, and Utah recognizes common law marriages only if they have been validated by a court or administrative order.

Alabama
New Hampshire³
Colorado
Ohio 4
District of Columbia
Oklahoma5(Okla. Stat. Ann. tit. 43, § 1)
Georgia¹
Pennsylvania (23 Penn. Cons. Stat. § 1103)
Idaho ²
Rhode Island
Iowa (Iowa Code Ann. §. 595.11)
South Carolina
Kansas 8
Texas 6(Tex. Fam. Code Ann. § 2.401)
Montana (Mont. Code Ann. § 26-1-602, 40-1-403)

1. Only for common law marriages formed before January 1, 1997 (1996 Georgia Act 1021).
   
2. Only for common law marriages formed before January 1, 1996 (Idaho Code § 32-201).
3. Common law marriages effective only at death. (N.H. Rev. Stat. Ann § 457:39).
4. Only for common law marriages formed before October 10, 1991 (Lyons v. Lyons 621 N.E. 2d 718 (Ohio App. 1993)).
5. Only for common law marriage formed before November 1, 1998. (1998 Okla. SB 1076).
6. Texas calls it an "informal marriage," rather than a common-law marriage. Under § 2.401 of the Texas Family Code, an informal marriage can be established either by declaration (registering at the county courthouse without having a ceremony), or by meeting a 3-prong test showing evidence of (1) an agreement to be married; (2) cohabitation in Texas; and (3) representation to others that the parties are married. A 1995 update adds an evidentiary presumption that there was no marriage if no suit for proof of marriage is filed within two years of the date the parties separated and ceased living together.
7. Administrative order establishes that it arises out of a contract between two consenting parties who: (a) are capable of giving consent; (b) are legally capable of entering a solemnized marriage; (c) have cohabited; (d) mutually assume marital rights, duties, and obligations; and (e) who hold themselves out as and have acquired a uniform and general reputation as husband and wife. The determination or establishment of such a marriage must occur during the relationship or within one year following the termination of that relationship.
8. Kansas law prohibits recognition of common law marriage if either party is under 18 years of age. (2002 Kan. Sess. Laws, SB 486, §23-101).

 

[gone_fishing]

When I was growing up, my daddy always told me, if you have to ask "is it right" then it's probably best not to do it.

In this instance of marriage and making it legal before man AND GOD, it is just so much easier to pay that fee and get the license and get hitched and have the big ceremony later than to try and get around God's commands (if you are concerned with them).

 

[Amour]

That passage makes it abundantly clear. We are to obey the government God places over us. God created government to establish order, punish evil, and promote justice (Genesis 9:6; 1 Corinthians 14:33; Romans 12:8). We are to obey the government in everything - paying taxes, obeying rules and laws, showing respect, etc. If we do not, we are ultimately showing disrespect towards God, for He is the One who placed that government over us. When the Apostle Paul wrote Romans 13:1-7, he was under the government of Rome, during the reign of Nero, perhaps that most evil of all the Roman Emperors. Paul still recognized that government’s rule over him. How can we do any less?

Now there are times when we should disobey the laws but that's a different thread.

thats interesting but getting married spiritually doesn't have to mean you are rebelling law and order; I guess if you were trying to claim the benefits of being married i.e. tax advantages then I suppose that would be considered to disobedience.

Out of curiousity in relation to your last sentence; if you hold laws etc with high regard why would you chose to disobey some and not others? Does that not defeat your original contentions?

 

[PanamasOwn]

When I was growing up, my daddy always told me, if you have to ask "is it right" then it's probably best not to do it.

In this instance of marriage and making it legal before man AND GOD, it is just so much easier to pay that fee and get the license and get hitched and have the big ceremony later than to try and get around God's commands (if you are concerned with them).

I would have to agree...Too many technicalities give room for one too many mistakes..

 

[Amour]

When I was growing up, my daddy always told me, if you have to ask "is it right" then it's probably best not to do it.

I wasn't concerned about whether it was right or not - if I were I would have been asking about the legal implications. I'm not even personally thinking of having this sort of marriage/ wedding -I was really just curious; its a interesting concept.

In this instance of marriage and making it legal before man AND GOD, it is just so much easier to pay that fee and get the license and get hitched and have the big ceremony later than to try and get around God's commands (if you are concerned with them)

I agree it would be easier to just do that, but I was interested as to whether this was something people practicised. I could personally see why someone would do something like this ; albeit it uncomprehenable amogst people of modern society. Although when I decide to get married I will do so when I can afford to have the wedding I want - I don't see any reason why having a wedding at a courthouse would be more within Gods commands than say, having a private wedding someone with your 'finance' and maybe a pastor (or however it would be performed) thats just me

 

[UmSumayyah]

the only people I have heard of getting married "in the eyes of God only" are muslim americans. (Some, not all and not most).

Generally, it seems, because the man wants to be able to skip out after a few days, months, whenever he feels like it, with no repercussions. Oftentimes polygyny is involved, but not always.

I knew someone who got talked into one of these. Only to be heartbroken when dude skipped town like a week later.

 

[Farida]

I agree it would be easier to just do that, but I was interested as to whether this was something people practicised. I could personally see why someone would do something like this ; albeit it uncomprehenable amogst people of modern society. Although when I decide to get married I will do so when I can afford to have the wedding I want - I don't see any reason why having a wedding at a courthouse would be more within Gods commands than say, having a private wedding someone with your 'finance' and maybe a pastor (or however it would be performed) thats just me

you can very well have that type of wedding, all you'll need is a marriage license, you, pastor and fiance.

 

[gone_fishing]

thats interesting but getting married spiritually doesn't have to mean you are rebelling law and order; I guess if you were trying to claim the benefits of being married i.e. tax advantages then I suppose that would be considered to disobedience.

Out of curiousity in relation to your last sentence; if you hold laws etc with high regard why would you chose to disobey some and not others? Does that not defeat your original contentions?

There is a time when we should not obey the laws. The answer to that question may be found in Acts 5:27-29, "Having brought the apostles, they made them appear before the Sanhedrin to be questioned by the high priest. 'We gave you strict orders not to teach in this Name,' he said. 'Yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and are determined to make us guilty of this man's blood.' Peter and the other apostles replied: 'We must obey God rather than men!'" From this, we can plainly see that as long as the law of the land does not contradict the law of God, we are bound to obey. As soon as the law of the land contradicts God's command, we are to disobey the law of the land, and obey God's law. However, even in that instance, we are to accept the government’s authority over us. This is demonstrated by the fact that Peter and John did not protest being flogged, but instead rejoiced that they suffered for obeying God (Acts 5:40-42).

Hope that explains it.

 

[gone_fishing]

you can very well have that type of wedding, all you'll need is a marriage license, you, pastor and fiance.

Exactly. I think people understood. No one is saying you have to get married at the courthouse. You can have a big wedding and any clergy member can officiate a wedding as well as county magistrates. But, you STILL need a marriage license first.

 

[Starr1]

i totally get what every else is saying but think about it, "legally married" is what man made. and it is what it is...legal, entitlements etc. marriage is spiritual...to some anyway. when they were getting married in the days of paul, mary, moses and what not, no one went down to a city hall and signed papers so then they werent really married, a union joined together even though they had a ceremony?

oh and no, it doesnt cost much to get legally married.

Historically the Jewish have a marriage contract called a ketubah, the oldest known being somewhere around 2500 years old, so it it fairly safe to assume that people in Jesus' time did have to sign on the dotted line, just like people do today.

 

[Amour]

Exactly. I think people understood. No one is saying you have to get married at the courthouse. You can have a big wedding and any clergy member can officiate a wedding as well as county magistrates. But, you STILL need a marriage license first.

first of all I am not planning a wedding so I am not concerned about the legal implications I was merely curious as to whether anyone had a ceremony in which they believe is recognised by God; albeit may not be recognised in law.

I found something which explains my crazy thinking lol

http://www.em-vallarta.com/puerto_vallarta/weddings.htm

where it says spirtual marriages. This is the sort of thing I was on about! Anyone ever had a cremony like this?

 

[MoMo]

OP, this is a very good question. I was just asking my mother about this a couple of months ago. I understand the legalities of being married but as one poster said, it is "man made".

I have trouble understanding why two people who have made a committment to each other and to God, remain monogamus (sp?) and conduct their relationship as ordered by the word of God, need a license as validation? I have always viewed marriage as a pact between man, woman and God, not man, woman and state.

Just a thought...

 

[Farida]

OP, this is a very good question. I was just asking my mother about this a couple of months ago. I understand the legalities of being married but as one poster said, it is "man made".

I have trouble understanding why two people who have made a committment to each other and to God, remain monogamus (sp?) and conduct their relationship as ordered by the word of God, need a license as validation? I have always viewed marriage as a pact between man, woman and God, not man, woman and state.

Just a thought...

Because we're human, and we need accountability.

 

[Arcadian]

What the OP is talking about is a committment ceremony.

Yes you can have them without the state paper. There are lots of people who do these types of ceremonies. No it is not against the law, however it is not a lawful marriage unless papers are filed with your state.

Marriage laws are state by state, so unless your state has actually outlawed such ceremonies (and I don't know of any that have) its legal to do but you can't expect to cash in if you get unhitched.

And these days you have a lot of straight and unstraight couples who participate in these ceremonies. If both know what they're getting into, I don't see the problem frankly.

-A

 

[Amour]

What the OP is talking about is a committment ceremony.

Yes you can have them without the state paper. There are lots of people who do these types of ceremonies. No it is not against the law, however it is not a lawful marriage unless papers are filed with your state.

Marriage laws are state by state, so unless your state has actually outlawed such ceremonies (and I don't know of any that have) its legal to do but you can't expect to cash in if you get unhitched.

And these days you have a lot of straight and unstraight couples who participate in these ceremonies. If both know what they're getting into, I don't see the problem frankly.

-A

Thanks for the clarification

 

[belleama]

What the OP is talking about is a committment ceremony.
<snip>
And these days you have a lot of straight and unstraight couples who participate in these ceremonies. -A

I guess I just don't understand the point of a committment ceremony for straight couples. They can cost just as much if not more than a legal wedding. So what really is the benefit of one of these? I'm really trying to understand this...