Why We Are Not Married/the Hidden Costs Of Getting Married

She keeps looking at him for confirmation. I don't believe her and he seems disconnected. Not to mention she's wearing a ring on her ring finger. If you aren't married why front like you are if the societal reasons aren't enough to convince you then why play house and keep it all the way real.
 
She's an idiot to let this white boy string her along. I say this all the time but men who wanna get married will do to Walmart and buy a ring and take you to the courthouse. He doesn't want to marry her. And she's got her daughter calling him dad? That is desperate as hell
 
They say in another video that they have $200K combined in 401K and took a loan for part of the down payment on the house. They are doing some modified Dave Ramsey be frugal thing.
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All of the reasons they state in the OP for not getting married is some bs. The only reason I could see why they aren't married is if one or both of them are divorce lawyers but even so :confused: @ committing to a house and kids but not to each other.
 
These people went to law school?

They should know better. Did they not take community property like the rest of us in law school? Get a prenup or postnup. Stipulate that each spouse is responsible for the student loan debt he/she incurred. I started watching the video but stopped when the BW went on about how people want marriage so they feel more secure in their relationship. People certainly get married for that reason but those marriages usually don't last. People in strong, healthy relationships want marriage for legal reasons--tax benefits, in case something happens so one partner can make decisions on behalf of the other. And as we all know, going courthouse is cheap. I'm a millennial so probably around their age and plenty of people I went to HS/college with went to the courthouse in lieu of the big to-do. These are just dumbass excuses.

If he really wanted to marry her, he would. Watch, they gon' split and next thing we know he'll be married.

At least he ain't black.
 
1- it is called tax planning with your tax professional;
2- tax code changes yearly (more or less). This new proposal by 45 will penalize them more for being single parents than married;
3- if someone died tomorrow they would lose out heavily;
4- anyone getting a “how you doing” vibe from him? Just me.... OK.
5- read his body vibe in the video versus hers. She is WAY more into him versus other way around.
I don’t get what they are saying. But then again, if she is OK being a girlfriend for the next 30 years- her business.
 
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DST1913 said:
I'm confused. Why does she have on a ring? It doesn't cost a lot to get married. They prob spend more on Starbucks. The court cost it takes to legally change a name is the same or more than a marriage license. Just get married if you are going through that trouble. Have they never heard of being married and filing taxes separately? Is this a case of if I say it 50 then it makes it true? Their reasons are ridiculous. I dont think they should get married because they arent mentally mature enough to do so.

And 1mil in debt? I wouldn't marry someone that had that debt. It would then become mine. No thanks! How does someone that young even amass that amount of debt?
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They are correct - these is a marriage penalty for high income spouses and an even BIGGER penalty filing separately. But clearly they don’t know about tax planning and financial management because I wouldn’t let the ever changing tax stop me from getting married.
And in non community states, you debt stays your debt if the marriage is dissolved. Only becomes your debt if you co-signed.
 
rabs77 said:
What do they do? Professionally? To the married folks who make similar incomes to their spouses, what do you think of the marriage tax they are referring to? Are you really paying more together than you would if you were seperate?
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I am a CPA and an Enrolled Agent. They are correct, there is a marriage penalty with high income earners. But there is an even BIGGER penalty filing married but separate. (Tip- never file MFS- there are other ways to work around it if there is a potential tax problem but MFS takes away a lot of deductions you would have qualified for/reduces other deductions to the bare minimum).

There is tax planning that the wealthy does to project their taxes and figure it ways to minimize it (loop holes in the tax code, sheltering their money, etc.). But I think people are CRAZY to keep money/taxes from keeping them from getting married. Taxes change just about every year and DEFINITELY with every administration. Marriage isn’t a poor man’s option.
My synopsis- he really doesn’t want her. You can tell in his body vibe versus hers. Not being married makes it easier to get away if he ever wants to pull that card. But there are women who stay girlfriends until one of them die so maybe this will happen here and if she likes it, I love it. Couldn’t be me, especially if I had your baby.
 
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Lastly- why do they both have rings on? Look at the first five seconds of the video when they wave...

And by their synopsis (I didn't really pay attention/ verify their numbers so forgive me if I am incorrect) but they kept saying something about $5000... So they are letting $5000 keep them from getting married? Especially when they BOTH earn a lot of money?

Again, why do they have on rings to give the appearance that they are married if they aren't. No sis, if you gonna go down with the excuse, stop perpetrating the appearance.
 
This is a prime example of interracial relationship #fails. If you don't have enough wherewithal to spot game from within your own cultural lens, Brad and Xiao lin will play your arse like monopoly and mahjong :nono:. Men are gonna do them regardless of race and they will all waste your time and GPY if you let them.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
They go over it in another video
Mortgage is $542,000
Student Loans1 $220,000
Student Loan 2 $198,000
Total - $960,000 remaining $40K are here and there costs.
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:whyme::whyme:Man that's a lot of debt. It scares me how the world has normalized debt :mad:. I used to always hear, "There is good debt and bad debt". Bruh IMO it all leaves us enslaved. It's all bad lol.

OAN: This woman is completely beautiful to me. Her skin and hair are gorgeous.
 
The student loans should be no problem for them to pay off

Read: "Investment in self"

In other words, this was an investment in themselves that they should now have the knowledge to start a business / command a salary to pay this off.

I'm just saying...

ETA

... and they shouldn't have taken on a mortgage until the student loans were under control.

but, with all that said. If they were team minded they would marry and figure this out together.
 
movingforward13 said:
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No lies were told here. Men and women know what they want and will go for it if they're in the right frame of mind to be an adult to make that commitment. Anything else is a waste.

Sadly a lot of people make excuses for them and why they aren't committed because they don't want to be alone or really love that person. I'm all about results and if I don't see it realistically then let me be single to live my life the way I choose until it's time. None of this playing house or waiting for a grown man. Give him one shot to get it and if not then bye.
 
movingforward13 said:
Lastly- why do they both have rings on? Look at the first five seconds of the video when they wave...

And by their synopsis (I didn't really pay attention/ verify their numbers so forgive me if I am incorrect) but they kept saying something about $5000... So they are letting $5000 keep them from getting married? Especially when they BOTH earn a lot of money?

Again, why do they have on rings to give the appearance that they are married if they aren't. No sis, if you gonna go down with the excuse, stop perpetrating the appearance.
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Exactly! This is my argument. They went on and on about not being able to be more committed because of marriage and standing in front of a bunch of people confessing their love isn't going to bring them closer so why advertise like you're married and take the name? So they went out and bought rings for what exactly? They clearly don't believe in the union of marriage or doing things for the sake of others, then why care about the optics? Why create a video wearing wedding rings calling him hubby or having her daughter call him dad? These two are FOS and probably using all this for click bait.
 
IslandMummy said:
At least with RayRay she wouldn’t be a million in debt.
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Honey Bee said:
Laughing.gif
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:giggle:

This is the biggest fail at IR dating I've ever seen but lemme go.
 
Are they both in corporate law? Assuming they are commanding big salaries they could knock that student loan debt out, but they should have held off on that huge mortgage. But really this sounds like the man doesn't want to marry her so they concocted these talking points. I bet they wear those rings because they may work in a conservative environment where the optics definitely matter. This woman is wasting her beauty on this man and he will probably end up leaving her high and dry.
 
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