Lets hang at the crib!!!!!!

[gabulldawg]

This thread is so interesting to me! When DH and I first started dating I would hang out at his place a LOT, even in the beginning of the relationship! But it really was innocent. We would watch TV or play video games (a lot). That didn't mean we didn't go out as well. We didn't watch movies at his place. We would go to the theatre. We would go out to eat. Etc. I enjoyed hanging out at his place. I lived with my aunt and cousins at the time so it was nice to go somewhere and get away. Of course he was respectful and things didn't "pop off" until the right time. I guess it all depends on the type of guy.

I guess there are always exceptions to every rule...

 

[niqu92]

lmao this reminds me of a verse from a song by the hip hop group Little Brother:

"She said we should go out on a date
I said that's cool you can come to my house
She said negro please! Do better than that,Why the fckk I wanna come over and chill on yo' couch?
I laughed cause it seemed she had me all figured out
And my game ain't work like it did befo'
Dem are days long gone, cause once they get grown
These girls ain't impressed by Applebees no mo'

 

[kismettt]

it took me a really long time to realize that "lets watch a movie" meant "lets hook up" to most people my age. i invited people over for movies all the time. i love movies. the first time my ex & i hung out was dinner in the caf & studying in a study room in my dorm. spike lee was coming to our campus & i had never seen a spike lee movie. he invited me over to watch it. i'm pretty sure he wasn't trying to hook up (i certainly wasn't), because he sat in his desk chair & i was chilling on his bed (i realize what that must of signaled now. ah, my naivete was almost charming back in the day. so dumb)

 

[Nasdaq_Diva]

Man, I thought it was JUST ME going through this BS recently! Ok, so I've been single for 9 months. I'm enjoying being single but have been open to male company recently. I've had 2 men in the past few weeks request to "chill" with me.

And sadly, it's not just the bruhs pulling this mess..it's the white boys too.

Guy 1: 28, biracial, is a horse trainer - owns like 9 horses: We talk and get along well but this guy is ALWAYS trying to hit me up when I get off work in the am. I get off work between 3-4am most nights

Last time we spoke instead of asking to see me after I get off work, he wanted to see me so we could "chill" I tried nicely explaining to him that I don't have male company over my house like that blah blah..he still wasn't getting it.

After a while, I told him, "listen, I am to old for the BS! If you want to get to know me, you'll offer to spend time with me outside of wanting to chill at my house" he gonna text me back, "what do you mean BS??" After that, I gave him the peace sign.

Guy 2: 25, white, (was an event planner) currently coaches HS basketball: We exchanged numbers a while back but both were busy with other things and just never got around to talk. Well last week, bumped into him again and all was well. We get along great and he has/had potential. We talk the next day (text) and he brings up the idea of "chilling" at my house. I give him the same spiel about not having male company over. Don't you know this dude gone tell me, "well we can't chill at my house, I'm living with my dad at the moment"

So I'm like "ummm no. I'm not trying to chill ANYWHERE! We can go out and do something. If not go out to eat, grab a coffee somewhere and just talk"

Ugh yeah..havent' heard from him in like 4-5 days now.

What in the world is going on? Can't blame it all on the men out here. SOMEBODY is allowing these jokers to chill up in their house. Won't be me though

 

[GeorginaSparks]

I tell them straight up that im not going to their place till we've gone OUT on a few dates.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

Now I don't feel so bad about KIM with guys who've pulled this kind of ish.

 

[cheetarah1980]

Nasdaq, from now on when a man even fixes his face to ask you to chill at the crib before he has so much has bought you a french fry you chuck the deuces. The type of man who could even suggest that is NOT the type of man you want to date.

It just occurred to me that there is a situation when a relationship can start off from just chillin at the house. That is the case of platonic male/female relationships that eventually turn romantic. However, even in those cases if the man is really interested in more than a friend with benefits he will take you out on proper dates in order to elevate the status of the relationship.

 

[phynestone]

I'm still laughing over the title of this thread.

You'd be surprised how many older men use this line as well. I'm so serious.

 

[FemmeFatale]

Hell to the no! The minute a dude asks me to come over to kick it before he's even taken me out on a date, he gets the deuces. I already know where his mind is at. I shouldn't have to tell a grown man that sitting on his couch is NOT a date. And that whole, "Come over and I'll cook for you" shiznit ain't the business either. Men like to make it seem like that's romantic. Even if he prepares a 5 course gourmet meal it still doesn't sit right with me. A date should be out in public and if we're not out in public there's a reason and it ain't never good.

I hollered when I read this !

 

[blue_flower]

I don't let guys hang out in my place and I don't hang out at theirs because I already know what's up. They either want to seduce you and/or see how your place is decked out. One guy tried to be sneaky and asked if he could come over and use my computer to type up his paper. I'm like, "Why can't you use the computers on campus?" I don't do last minute "dates" either.

 

[fatimablush]

Hell to the no! The minute a dude asks me to come over to kick it before he's even taken me out on a date, he gets the deuces. I already know where his mind is at. I shouldn't have to tell a grown man that sitting on his couch is NOT a date. And that whole, "Come over and I'll cook for you" shiznit ain't the business either. Men like to make it seem like that's romantic. Even if he prepares a 5 course gourmet meal it still doesn't sit right with me. A date should be out in public and if we're not out in public there's a reason and it ain't never good.[/QUOTE

All i know is ..i could have saved myself a whole lotta time when i was younger if i just said no to this!

 

[Godyssey]

I had a guy friend when I was a teen who invited me to his house after school. I was naive at the time, but my "experienced" friend who was my age (16 or 17), warned me not to go. She explained that it was a trap. I had no idea that this was a thing. I just thought I was going over to watch some VCR tapes, lol!

As I got older I liked house dates, but then I was aware and old enough to handle myself.

I guess I'm saying that it's okay and can be fun as long as you know what to expect before hand and are able to stand your ground if necessary.

Oh, and as for that guy. When I didn't show up, he cussed me out everyway but sideways. Then, I really knew that my girl friend was right. He must've had more in mind for him to be that serious about me reneging on watching The Color Purple. He tried to apologize but I never spoke to him again.

 

[dannie]

There was this guy who offered to cook me dinner at his place this past summer, we had only been out on one date prior. Usually I immediately bounce when a guy does this but for some reason my dumb ar$e went anyway. He made subpar pasta and frankly spagetti-o's would have tasted better. He kept offering me wine and a "massage" . I took a glass of wine, told him to keep his massage. He kept asking me what was wrong, like my legs were supposed to spring open immediately after dinner. Then he says "are you a virgin?" If he only knew.

No your game is transparent and wack. Your chessy, lazy and you cant cook. Oh and he was persian so everybody is trying this game these days. I actually become slighthly enraged when I think that this a$$hole really thought I was going to screw him. Disgusting bastard.

Always go with your first insintict ladies! And say no to house dates!

 

[Goombay_Summer]

Besides from the obvious sex that these types of 'dates' and I use the term loosely to describe these encounters, one may unwittingly open herself up to a new danger. While he's in your house eating your food with gusto he may also be memorizing the floor plan in hopes of return with Pookie and dem. Don't be surprised if you return home from work only to discover that you've been robbed, yet the house looks like it's hardly been disturbed. And if he's anything like the idiot who had the audacity to steal from my cousin after she had given him free milk and honey, well him and his friends thanked her by eating all of the leftovers in the fridge.

 

[VelvetRain]

Besides from the obvious sex that these types of 'dates' and I use the term loosely to describe these encounters, one may unwittingly open herself up to a new danger. While he's in your house eating your food with gusto he may also be memorizing the floor plan in hopes of return with Pookie and dem. Don't be surprised if you return home from work only to discover that you've been robbed, yet the house looks like it's hardly been disturbed. And if he's anything like the idiot who had the audacity to steal from my cousin after she had given him free milk and honey, well him and his friends thanked her by eating all of the leftovers in the fridge.

You know that is an excellent point you made about the potential for a robbery. I had a guy this past summer try to pull that crap on me like maybe we can chill at your house or you can come to mine for the first date. Shot him down real quick. Not only is that unsafe with someone you don't know but completely stupid.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Man why do guys always want to chill at the house (yours or his). Is that the norm now?? Im old school im not letting no random guy come over. or Go over there. And they want to get mad when I say no.

Ha I dont know people like that to be inviting them in my house . . Its not about trust. . people have bed bugs you have to be carefull. Sorry I had to rant.

HUH!!! How do you all respond to that?

Because they're hoping to get some physical action :eyebrows2.....oh, and because a lot of women's standards these days have become so low, that they don't even require a man to court or properly take her out anymore.