So he made me cry, and Im still crying.

[lcherilu]

Girl, ain't this the same f@@l, I mean dude, whose name you were planning on getting tattooed on yo' body.

LOL yes. Im definitely reconsidering that now! but i probably should have been thought about it a little more since we were having probelms at the time i guess i thought the tatoo would have fixed things but my mind is clear now and realize it will NOT

 

[Bunny77]

well he is REALLY sweet. He doesnt treat me like just another female like my previous relationships (drug dealers, jail birds, cheaters). If you meet him your first impression is he's shy and sweethearted. thats how my friends see him. and everyone absolutely loves him. He's a likeable guy. He doesnt lie to me... well let me rephrase that when he lies he tells the truth right afterwards which i think is a plus. I dont think he knows how to lie because he does the same to his mother. he does for me. He cooks, pays for the majority of our dates even when its his last dollar. (remember he doesnt have a job)(I know i shouldnt look at that but it feels good because my past men have never done anything for me). When were together sometimes he just wants to hold me in his arms and lay just like that for hours. is just a number of this he does thats amazing. I think he just doesnt kno how to communticate. I guess he loves me for me you can say. No dude has ever made me feel that way before.

I can understand how you feel the way you do, especially if you dealt with some real losers before!

Again, I know that you are young and haven't gotten out into the real world yet, so I just hope that you'll listen to some of us and trust us on this.

It's too bad that you've dated drug dealers and jailbirds in the past. I assume that was all that you knew growing up where you did and there weren't a lot of positive examples of good men out there. But just because this man isn't a drug dealer, jail bird or cheater doesn't make him "good." He's better than the others, yes, but the others set the bar so very low that this man doesn't have to do much to seem like the "best" man you've ever had.

You should never feel that your choices in men are either drug dealers/jailbirds/cheaters and that finding someone who's not one of those means that you've hit the jackpot. I hope you are going to FAU, because you will see that it's not normal for most of the men you meet to be drug dealers and jailbirds. That there are many young men out there living decent lives on the right side of the law... and that you don't ever have to even entertain dating a criminal ever again.

Your current boyfriend might have some nice qualities, but you only find him to be great because every one before him was so awful. Believe me, your current boyfriend might be better than those guys and might do some good things, but he's not all that great either.

There is a BIG world outside of West Palm Beach -- I used to live in Florida, so I know how WPB is -- so please use your college years to expand your mind and mentally escape from WPB... your standards will be so much higher once you do, and you will realize what a good man really is.

Good luck to you.

 

[naijamerican]

well he is REALLY sweet. He doesnt treat me like just another female like my previous relationships (drug dealers, jail birds, cheaters). If you meet him your first impression is he's shy and sweethearted. thats how my friends see him. and everyone absolutely loves him. He's a likeable guy. He doesnt lie to me... well let me rephrase that when he lies he tells the truth right afterwards which i think is a plus. I dont think he knows how to lie because he does the same to his mother. he does for me. He cooks, pays for the majority of our dates even when its his last dollar. (remember he doesnt have a job)(I know i shouldnt look at that but it feels good because my past men have never done anything for me). When were together sometimes he just wants to hold me in his arms and lay just like that for hours. is just a number of this he does thats amazing. I think he just doesnt kno how to communticate. I guess he loves me for me you can say. No dude has ever made me feel that way before.

I'm glad that at times, he does treat you well. But communication is the cornerstone of any relationship. If he doesn't know how to do it, it's not your responsibility to teach him.

As for being likeable... well, I just deleted what I was about to say because it was too extreme of an example. Likability does not a good boyfriend make.

Finally... and I say this with affection, compassion, empathy and respect: if jailbirds, trappers and cheaters are what you have been accustomed to dealing with, then anything would be better than that. And it doesn't take much to surpass that. All I'm saying is this: if that's what you were used to, then you might need to investigate what it is about such unsavory characters that you find attractive. Again, I don't mean this judgmentally. I am saying this because it pains me to see such a beautiful young woman as yourself wasting time with men that don't deserve you. I care because you're only a year younger than my youngest sister, so I feel as if I'm talking to my sister when I say this to you.

 

[Carrie A]

dp ............................

 

[chicacanella]

Texting is a "young" thing IMO. Relationships where people are in love with each other should not be solely compromised through texting. He could be sitting up there in some woman's car (romantically) or on a date texting you and of course you would never know it.

Point: Beware of a guy or a relationship where texting is a huge way of communicating!

And yeah, don't play his flunky cause' that is what seems to be happening from the small bit you relayed to us.

 

[lcherilu]

I can understand how you feel the way you do, especially if you dealt with some real losers before!

Again, I know that you are young and haven't gotten out into the real world yet, so I just hope that you'll listen to some of us and trust us on this.

It's too bad that you've dated drug dealers and jailbirds in the past. I assume that was all that you knew growing up where you did and there weren't a lot of positive examples of good men out there. But just because this man isn't a drug dealer, jail bird or cheater doesn't make him "good." He's better than the others, yes, but the others set the bar so very low that this man doesn't have to do much to seem like the "best" man you've ever had.

You should never feel that your choices in men are either drug dealers/jailbirds/cheaters and that finding someone who's not one of those means that you've hit the jackpot. I hope you are going to FAU, because you will see that it's not normal for most of the men you meet to be drug dealers and jailbirds. That there are many young men out there living decent lives on the right side of the law... and that you don't ever have to even entertain dating a criminal ever again.

Your current boyfriend might have some nice qualities, but you only find him to be great because every one before him was so awful. Believe me, your current boyfriend might be better than those guys and might do some good things, but he's not all that great either.

There is a BIG world outside of West Palm Beach -- I used to live in Florida, so I know how WPB is -- so please use your college years to expand your mind and mentally escape from WPB... your standards will be so much higher once you do, and you will realize what a good man really is.

Good luck to you.

Thank you and your right those type of men is all that i know
Is ee them everyday and i have friends i relationships like that and i always tell myself il never do that again. I refuse to support a man and have 3 or 4 kids from different men. I want a nice healthy stable home not live on food stamps and help from the government (dont get me wrong if anyone does this its just i choose to be independent.). We must support each other

but yes i am goin to FAU trying to double major in Criminal Justice and Pyscology so i have big dream and aspirations!

I think i will let him go. After all i do have my whole life ahead of me. Its going to take some time but ultimately that is the best choice me right now.

 

[Carrie A]

Girl, ain't this the same f@@l, I mean dude, whose name you were planning on getting tattooed on yo' body.

LOL yes. Im definitely reconsidering that now! but i probably should have been thought about it a little more since we were having probelms at the time i guess i thought the tatoo would have fixed things but my mind is clear now and realize it will NOT

Continue to ponder and reconsider . The bolded makes me cringe, but I'm glad you see how flawed that line of thought is.

 

[Carrie A]

Texting is a "young" thing IMO. Relationships where people are in love with each other should not be solely compromised through texting. He could be sitting up there in some woman's car (romantically) or on a date texting you and of course you would never know it.

Point: Beware of a guy or a relationship where texting is a huge way of communicating!

And yeah, don't play his flunky cause' that is what seems to be happening from the small bit you relayed to us.

Thing is the very young folk have all but stopped phone conversation now. Texting is their primary means of communication. I wonder if thy will know how to communicate face to face or through written complete sentences in 10 years.

 

[Bunny77]

Thing is the very young folk have all but stopped phone conversation now. Texting is their primary means of communication. I wonder if thy will know how to communicate face to face or through written complete sentences in 10 years.

That's what I'm wondering... I mean, if these folks become parents, are they gonna text about things involving the kids? If a couple is living in the same house and have a conflict, what are the gonna do? Pick up their phones and write back to each other even while they're up in each other's face?

Eventually, when does the texting stop and the talking START?

 

[lcherilu]

I always had a problem with it Im more of a over the phone conversation person but i guess i knew what i was getting myself in before the relationship

 

[jada1111]

Well let me give you a little background information about me and him. we've been together for awhile now and we have been having problems only just recently the last 2 or 3 months.

Today he sent me a text right before my classes saying "when can i c you again bae" and i said "today if you want" keep in mind this is my only day off from work i know i should have been studying then spending time with him. He has a tendency to stop texting so i can never really get a direct answer from him.

After my classes i called him but he didn't pick up. He did however text me saying "wats up bae?" and our conversation went on as this


2:00 pm
ME "are we guna spend some time together"
SO "yes bae"
ME "when?"
SO "its up to you"
ME "4 or 5" (i still need to study!)
SO "thats too late"
ME "right now then?"

and of course he doesn't text back
he does later text at 5:00 "i dont think il be able to see you today"
so im studying and finally 7:00 comes around and he is like come over bae
and i know i should have said no but i am so weak for him
so before i head over there i go to the store to get some school supplies and i head to his house. i guess i was taking to long so he's like nevermind bae but i was already two streets over! (he lives on the other side of town). so i call him and i tell him im in front of his house and are you home re replies with no so i kept calm and said ok bye. I was furious!! He made me drive all the way over there for no reason and then he texts me 5 minutes later saying "lol why you actually left?" WHAT THE @*#(? so of course i had some words to say to him and of course he didnt text back and i cried the whole way home...


Now ladies he is the most loyal and honest person i know so im pretty sure he isnt a cheater (for the most part) and just a week ago i poured out all my feelings about him in a letter letting him know how i felt about his actions and he has really been trying to change. one of the points was him choosing to hang with his friends before me. we only see each other about once a week, two at the most. And the text thing. That bothers me so much. But i care greatly for him.I don't know what to do any more.

Ladies please give me some advice on him.

He's an arse, muthaplucker, jackarse, game playin' bastard, scum bucket, no good trifling low life and every other negative that I can't find the words for that does NOT deserve you.

There is MY advice on him.
Please stop with the "good person" crap. If he's one of the "better" ones you've had, then I'd hate to meet the bastids.


You are too beautiful to put up with this triflingness. You're in school and going places. He's a bum. Stop answering your phone and try to find something to do with yourself. We've all been there sweetie, but this ***** right here takes the cake! I ain't neva heard no *ish like this before in my life.

Someone who genuinely cares about you wouldn't disrespect you in this way.

 

[Carrie A]

That's what I'm wondering... I mean, if these folks become parents, are they gonna text about things involving the kids? If a couple is living in the same house and have a conflict, what are the gonna do? Pick up their phones and write back to each other even while they're up in each other's face?

Eventually, when does the texting stop and the talking START?

I have family that should know better, but have transitioned to text as a way to communicate with each other in the house. Parents text each other and the kids, if they are in different rooms. Mom and daughter have text convos all day (daughters away at college). Mom and daughter texted each other at the Thanksgiving dinner table. If they are doing it, then know other families are. The parents are almost 10 years older than me.

 

[pinkdot's blog]

Don't ever put a man in front of your well being. Whenever you allow a man to cut inside of your study time you are putting him over your well being. Whenever you rush to see a man you been at work all day and you're tired you are choosing him over your well being.

MEN ARE SUPPOSED TO ADD NOT TAKE AWAY FROM YOUR LIFE.

You don't have to break up with him. Just get your power back. Don't ever pour your heart out to him ever again. He doesn't deserve the nice you.. He deserves the you that will put fire under his a*%#. You don't even have to be mean. Really its more smooth when you're cool calm and collected and when you act as if everything is ok just like he is...


Remember to put yourself first. The more you put yourself first the more your boyfriend will respect you. It works out for everyone especially you. Men respect women who respect themselves. They treat you how you treat yourself. There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first.

Once a man see's that he has you and you're tripping all over him.. he will take you for a ride and ride you until the wheels fall off.... because they get a kick out of it.

Because you guys are in the state you are in.. Do not not let him see you sweat anymore what so ever. Do not let him see you crack. They get scared when you start to not care...

Texting
So he texts you, starts conversations, and then he doesn't finish them. He does this on a regular basis. This is one of the oldest ticks in the book. He is playing games trying to get you to ask things like "hello are you there" "what happened" "are we still seeing each other?" and things of that nature... that's messed up... He's trying take you for a ride.. have you under his thumb so he can say "i got her." When he texts you do not text him back right away. Ignore some of his texts. If he asks whats up tell him you're busy... You have to crack down on school and work after all....(lol)

Calling
Miss some of his calls. Forward some of his calls to voice mail. When you do talk to him act like everything is fine. Act busy. End conversations first.

When you look at your texts and your call logs make sure you have more incoming texts and calls from him then you have going out. At all times.

***NOTE**** don't think for a second that he will not like or want you because ignore him a little or seem more busy. He might hold out in the beginning but this boy is immature .... he will crack. DO not give in no matter what and if you do fall off get back on the horse quick.

When you find yourself in this situation or situations like this don't react with your emotions, react with your mind. Right now you can no longer afford to react with your emotions. Its good to get your feelings out but are you gonna cry until you can't cry any longer or are you gonna take your power back. Don't let this little negro take all you have ring you out to the very last drop and then scramble for strength.


Decide now that you will never allow yourself to slip and be put in this position ever again. DO NOT EVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE AT ANY MANS MERCY...

I hope this helps you out *hugs* Hold your head up high and put some pep in your step.

 

[prettynatural]

thanx. he has stood me up so many times before and acts as if nothing happens until i bring it up. I don't know why i get so weak fro him sometimes and i always give in. I guess im to kindhearted. And he still hasn't called or text me. He's the type of dude with "pride." He's probably goin to wait til i text him first and doesn't believe he was wrong in the situation because he was "joking." I can already image the conversation

I am sorry op that you are going through this and I hope that you will learn from this experience. Set your boundaries- things you will not tolerate and don't waiver.

He does not have pride- he lacks tact, respect and genuine interest in you. His actions are telling you what he wants, listen to them.

 

[jada1111]

the sad thing about it is this is the most healthy relationship ive been in and aside from all that he is really sweet and he is nothing like other dudes i know when he isnt acting that way. I dont want to let go of him cuz again we have been together for quite sometime and i would hate to see him with another women.

This relationship is far from "healthy". You're not supposed to hurt or go through an emotional ringer.

He needs a beatdown. For real.

You need to buy the books

HE'S NOT THAT INTO YOU
THINK LIKE A MAN ACT LIKE A WOMAN by Steve Harvey
WHY MEN LOVE *****ES

If you can't buy them, then take a day to sit in the bookstore or library to read them. They will be of tremendous help to your FUTURE relationships. Cause this dude right here is the ultimate loser.

 

[Bunny77]

I always had a problem with it Im more of a over the phone conversation person but i guess i knew what i was getting myself in before the relationship

Don't beat yourself up. You didn't know any better.

But just remember... when you said earlier that texting was HIS preference, I was like, "uh oh." You have to set a standard for your relationships and if YOUR preference is talking on the phone (which is better anyway), then he should be working to do that.

Do NOT change your standards to fit "his" preference. There should be some compromise, but if he wants it to be all about HIS preference, then he is not the man for you.

 

[prettynatural]

the sad thing about it is this is the most healthy relationship ive been in and aside from all that he is really sweet and he is nothing like other dudes i know when he isnt acting that way. I dont want to let go of him cuz again we have been together for quite sometime and i would hate to see him with another women.

It seems like this is really about you and not about him. If this is the "healthiest" relationship that you have been involved and your emotional needs are not being met then I think you have to go back to the drawing board. You can't make him do what he is not willing to do, value you, respect you etc.

Develop a list of the characteristic you want and DESERVE in a relationship. If he is not measuring up to those standards then you have a choice to make.

 

[jada1111]

Don't ever put a man in front of your well being. Whenever you allow a man to cut inside of your study time you are putting him over your well being. Whenever you rush to see a man you been at work all day and you're tired you are choosing him over your well being.

MEN ARE SUPPOSED TO ADD NOT TAKE AWAY FROM YOUR LIFE.

You don't have to break up with him. Just get your power back. Don't ever pour your heart out to him ever again. He doesn't deserve the nice you.. He deserves the you that will put fire under his a*%#. You don't even have to be mean. Really its more smooth when you're cool calm and collected and when you act as if everything is ok just like he is...


Remember to put yourself first. The more you put yourself first the more your boyfriend will respect you. It works out for everyone especially you. Men respect women who respect themselves. They treat you how you treat yourself. There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first.

Once a man see's that he has you and you're tripping all over him.. he will take you for a ride and ride you until the wheels fall off.... because they get a kick out of it.

Because you guys are in the state you are in.. Do not not let him see you sweat anymore what so ever. Do not let him see you crack. They get scared when you start to not care...

Texting
So he texts you, starts conversations, and then he doesn't finish them. He does this on a regular basis. This is one of the oldest ticks in the book. He is playing games trying to get you to ask things like "hello are you there" "what happened" "are we still seeing each other?" and things of that nature... that's messed up... He's trying take you for a ride.. have you under his thumb so he can say "i got her." When he texts you do not text him back right away. Ignore some of his texts. If he asks whats up tell him you're busy... You have to crack down on school and work after all....(lol)

Calling
Miss some of his calls. Forward some of his calls to voice mail. When you do talk to him act like everything is fine. Act busy. End conversations first.

When you look at your texts and your call logs make sure you have more incoming texts and calls from him then you have going out. At all times.

***NOTE**** don't think for a second that he will not like or want you because ignore him a little or seem more busy. He might hold out in the beginning but this boy is immature .... he will crack. DO not give in no matter what and if you do fall off get back on the horse quick.

When you find yourself in this situation or situations like this don't react with your emotions, react with your mind. Right now you can no longer afford to react with your emotions. Its good to get your feelings out but are you gonna cry until you can't cry any longer or are you gonna take your power back. Don't let this little negro take all you have ring you out to the very last drop and then scramble for strength.


Decide now that you will never allow yourself to slip and be put in this position ever again. DO NOT EVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE AT ANY MANS MERCY...

I hope this helps you out *hugs* Hold your head up high and put some pep in your step.

In any other situation your post would be 100% on point, but... this mutha right here is beyond f____ked up. He tells her to come over at 7. She's on her way there. He then tells her nevermind when she's TWO BLOCKS AWAY. She texts him on the phone when she gets in front of his house to ask him if he's home and he says NO. Homegirl begins the drive home, then ten minutes later this no good bastid sends a text THAT HE CAN'T BELIEVE SHE LEFT with a freakin' "LOL" preceding it. Um, gasoline on his front lawn and some lighter fluid would be in order. Then after he's standing on the street watching the fire department put the flames out, she text him with "SOMEONE'S HOMELESS LOL".

He's a d___k and she can do way better. Your advice will be better served for the NEXT MAN she deals with not this fool.

 

[lcherilu]

Don't ever put a man in front of your well being. Whenever you allow a man to cut inside of your study time you are putting him over your well being. Whenever you rush to see a man you been at work all day and you're tired you are choosing him over your well being.

MEN ARE SUPPOSED TO ADD NOT TAKE AWAY FROM YOUR LIFE.

You don't have to break up with him. Just get your power back. Don't ever pour your heart out to him ever again. He doesn't deserve the nice you.. He deserves the you that will put fire under his a*%#. You don't even have to be mean. Really its more smooth when you're cool calm and collected and when you act as if everything is ok just like he is...


Remember to put yourself first. The more you put yourself first the more your boyfriend will respect you. It works out for everyone especially you. Men respect women who respect themselves. They treat you how you treat yourself. There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first.

Once a man see's that he has you and you're tripping all over him.. he will take you for a ride and ride you until the wheels fall off.... because they get a kick out of it.

Because you guys are in the state you are in.. Do not not let him see you sweat anymore what so ever. Do not let him see you crack. They get scared when you start to not care...

Texting
So he texts you, starts conversations, and then he doesn't finish them. He does this on a regular basis. This is one of the oldest ticks in the book. He is playing games trying to get you to ask things like "hello are you there" "what happened" "are we still seeing each other?" and things of that nature... that's messed up... He's trying take you for a ride.. have you under his thumb so he can say "i got her." When he texts you do not text him back right away. Ignore some of his texts. If he asks whats up tell him you're busy... You have to crack down on school and work after all....(lol)

Calling
Miss some of his calls. Forward some of his calls to voice mail. When you do talk to him act like everything is fine. Act busy. End conversations first.

When you look at your texts and your call logs make sure you have more incoming texts and calls from him then you have going out. At all times.

***NOTE**** don't think for a second that he will not like or want you because ignore him a little or seem more busy. He might hold out in the beginning but this boy is immature .... he will crack. DO not give in no matter what and if you do fall off get back on the horse quick.

When you find yourself in this situation or situations like this don't react with your emotions, react with your mind. Right now you can no longer afford to react with your emotions. Its good to get your feelings out but are you gonna cry until you can't cry any longer or are you gonna take your power back. Don't let this little negro take all you have ring you out to the very last drop and then scramble for strength.


Decide now that you will never allow yourself to slip and be put in this position ever again. DO NOT EVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE AT ANY MANS MERCY...

I hope this helps you out *hugs* Hold your head up high and put some pep in your step.

I think i will try this before call it quits! THANK YOU

 

[lcherilu]

In any other situation your post would be 100% on point, but... this mutha right here is beyond f____ked up. He tells her to come over at 7. She's on her way there. He then tells her nevermind when she's TWO BLOCKS AWAY. She texts him on the phone when she gets in front of his house to ask him if he's home and he says NO. Homegirl begins the drive home, then ten minutes later this no good bastid sends a text THAT HE CAN'T BELIEVE SHE LEFT with a freakin' "LOL" preceding it.

He's a d___k and she can do way better. Your advice will be better served for the NEXT MAN she deals with not this fool.

that's what really shook me up he had the nerve to say LOL. joking or not he should have a pologized at that point and he still hasnt said anything to me like i am the wrong thats wrong for leaving and not turning around.

 

[Bunny77]

I think i will try this before call it quits! THANK YOU

I'm with Jada.

I usually would say to not leave immediately, but I say you need to call it quits.

I wouldn't try to work it out. And again, do you really want to deal with his mother? Did any of y'all notice what she said his mother says to her???

This is a total clusterfluck and ole girl needs to just RUN AWAY FAST!!!!

Cut your losses now before you get stuck with this man in your life for good, if you know what I mean.

 

[lcherilu]

when i try to ignore him and act as if nothing is wrong he does acknowledge somethings wrong. He says he hears it in my voice and then all of a sudden wants to work it out

*sigh* Ladies thank you all for your advice.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Sounds like he is either immature, creepin', or both. Drop him like a bad habit. You are too young to go through such foolishness. Don't be a hanger-on or so clingy

 

[lcherilu]

I'm with Jada.

I usually would say to not leave immediately, but I say you need to call it quits.

I wouldn't try to work it out. And again, do you really want to deal with his mother? Did any of y'all notice what she said his mother says to her???

This is a total clusterfluck and ole girl needs to just RUN AWAY FAST!!!!

Cut your losses now before you get stuck with this man in your life for good, if you know what I mean.

Lol i know exactly what you mean! I think im smarter than that not to let that happen.

 

[Bunny77]

when i try to ignore him and act as if nothing is wrong he does acknowledge somethings wrong. He says he hears it in my voice and then all of a sudden wants to work it out

*sigh* Ladies thank you all for your advice.

It's a game. Stop playing it with him.

Also, I just want to add... as much as I think that relationships are good, it sounds like you've been in a lot for your age. Have you ever really learned how to be alone and NOT be in a relationship with a boy/man?

It's important to know and love yourself first and foremost, and when you do, you will draw better men into your life. Why not just take a break now from relationships... like someone else said, there is no need for you to have so much DRAMA in your life at this point!

 

[jada1111]

your right he isnt crying...why do i feel this way about this dude that obviously doesnt care? love sucks!

It happens sweetie. Every woman has gone through at least once, but it's something you learn from. Just be happy you don't have any kids with him and THANK HEAVENS you did not get his name tattooed on you!!

Can you imagine having to see that *ish for the rest of your life?

 

[Bunny77]

Lol i know exactly what you mean! I think im smarter than that not to let that happen.

I know, I know!

I'm just sayin'... one lil' slip-up... I know too many women who were breaking up with a dude and went back for one or two last times and they ended up with bebes! When they were trying to break up with dude... they were with those guys for years and nothing happened, and right when they were really about to leave... d'oh!

 

[jada1111]

I'm with Jada.

I usually would say to not leave immediately, but I say you need to call it quits.

I wouldn't try to work it out. And again, do you really want to deal with his mother? Did any of y'all notice what she said his mother says to her???

This is a total clusterfluck and ole girl needs to just RUN AWAY FAST!!!!

Cut your losses now before you get stuck with this man in your life for good, if you know what I mean.

An F'd up future mother in law would be the dealbreaker for me. You realize this as you get older, because you can see what the FUTURE would be like with mother in law that can't mind her business or dominates her son. It's not pretty.

 

[pinkdot's blog]

I feel what you are saying Jada. But it made me upset reading it because I've been through these same things... Some of us don't leave right away but we must understand that if we do stay, we as women are the ones that have to change... If a man is acting a certain way and keeps repeating the same patterns, if we stay in that situation we as women need to point the fingers at ourselves not the man. We are the ones that need to change.

Because the man repeats the same patters, we sometimes repeat the same patterns within our reaction to his actions over and over.... So if we stay we must start with self... That way we collect our marbles instead of giving them away.. if it doesn't work out at least it started off with the woman working on herself instead of her spreading herself thin trying extra hard to make things work.

However lets not get it twisted Jada. There are times when I would have been in the car with you with the lighter fluid girl...

I say ignore him a bit... don't even let him hear you sweat in your voice.. Distance yourself a bit.. stay cool calm and collected..... The more you do you the more he will want to work it out... The more he will show you with his actions rather then his words... ok let me stop I'm rambling I know you guys are tired of seeing my fonts... I hope it works out.. we are all queens please believe it!

 

[NYAmicas]

In any other situation your post would be 100% on point, but... this mutha right here is beyond f____ked up. He tells her to come over at 7. She's on her way there. He then tells her nevermind when she's TWO BLOCKS AWAY. She texts him on the phone when she gets in front of his house to ask him if he's home and he says NO. Homegirl begins the drive home, then ten minutes later this no good bastid sends a text THAT HE CAN'T BELIEVE SHE LEFT with a freakin' "LOL" preceding it. Um, gasoline on his front lawn and some lighter fluid would be in order. Then after he's standing on the street watching the fire department put the flames out, she text him with "SOMEONE'S HOMELESS LOL".

He's a d___k and she can do way better. Your advice will be better served for the NEXT MAN she deals with not this fool.

Jada.... LMAO!