You are a smart lady. This experience will make you stronger. You decide your worth and how men treat you. You are precious and worth so much more than what this little boy is able to give you.
So he made me cry, and Im still crying.
- Thread starter lcherilu
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You are a smart lady. This experience will make you stronger. You decide your worth and how men treat you. You are precious and worth so much more than what this little boy is able to give you.
panamoni
Well-Known Member
Just want to say that I think that you are very mature for your age and I applaud you for reaching out to others who are older and more experienced than you for advice, and your openness to receiving it, even though there might be things that you don't want to hear -- with this issue and when you asked our advice about getting his name tattooed on you.
Focusing on school and having faith that there are men who are deserving of your time and love out there is definitely the way to go. The world is so big, and you have a lot of new people and experiences to encounter in the future. I wish you the best. It will be hard to distance yourself at first, but there are probably things out there that you've wanted to get more involved in or try that you haven't, and can now.
healthynhappy
New Member
Sounds to me like he told his buddies, "watch this. Watch what I can make this girl do for me." Then they looked out the window to see you sitting outside his house and laughed when he lied and told you he wasn't home.
Then when you left, he said to his buddies, "I bet I can make her turn around and come back." Glad you didn't, but based on his age and his actions, it sounds like something that could have possibly happened.
Then when you left, he said to his buddies, "I bet I can make her turn around and come back." Glad you didn't, but based on his age and his actions, it sounds like something that could have possibly happened.
caltron
Well-Known Member
Wonderful!!!!! I know you're hurting right now, but I must say that I am so proud and happy for you now that you've let him go. It's so hard what you're going through but you're handling it perfectly. I wish I had been as strong and mature at your age.
cicilypayne
Well-Known Member
I wish you all the happiness in the world and be strong. He is gonna try to get you back and you might falter but don't accept him back as your boyfriend for now on he is just this guy who does not have his act together. Just like some women can be drama queens so can men you got yourself a little drama king that likes to see you go through highs and lows please know that it's him thats broken and not you ..pity him don't love him..Good luck!
pinkdot's blog
New Member
Yay! I'm proud of you! Take this as a learning experience. Don't ever fall for that crap again. When it doesn't feel right, then walk away. Your peace of mind and well being is worth volumes more then trying to make something work with a man who is trying to play with your emotions for the heck of it. Forgive yourself. We all go through this at least once. If you become blue, do not beat yourself up and think about what you could have done different. What's important now is that you got out of that situation and took charge of your emotional well being. That's your job and always remember to govern over that. Always.
He's gonna try to come back. The bigger they come the harder they fall. The longer you wait believe me he will push and push. Like other women on here said, this is not the time to talk to him. Take as long as its gonna take for you to heal and get your weight up. And don't think for one second that you are missing out on something by not communicating with him. Get well. Get to the old you that didn't need him to be happy. He's gonna try hard and you pretty much know him like a book. You know what he's gonna say so use that to your advantage.
This is a good time for you to get to know you. This may sound crazy but one thing that helped me when I was in the position you are in now was singing love songs to myself. I wanted so badly for the man I was with to feel that way about me. Then I thought about how much better off I'd be if I felt that way about myself. I was so broken at the time but singing to myself raised my self-esteem. I still do it from time to time. Treat yourself to a flower or a bouquet of flowers. Pamper yourself. You deserve it. Oh and the number one way for me to get a toxic man out of my mind and heal was to go out on dates. Go to the movies go bowling go miniature golfing. Go have fun. With cute men that want to be around you and want to talk to you and give you attention. Stay strong and keep on moving.
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angenoir
Active Member
I hope you make the right decision. The ladies here have given you amazing advice.
All I wanted to add is to comment on something you mentioned. You said a lot of your friends have men who are cheaters/jailbirds etc or have babies from different fathers.
I just wanted to remind you that friends are an important part of our lives... which is why we need to choose our friends carefully. I know you said already that you dont want to end up like your friends... then please keep company with those you share higher ideals with. Subconsciously you begin to think like those you hang out with. So try to make sure you surround yourself with young women like you who are trying to make something of your lives.
All the best.
All I wanted to add is to comment on something you mentioned. You said a lot of your friends have men who are cheaters/jailbirds etc or have babies from different fathers.
I just wanted to remind you that friends are an important part of our lives... which is why we need to choose our friends carefully. I know you said already that you dont want to end up like your friends... then please keep company with those you share higher ideals with. Subconsciously you begin to think like those you hang out with. So try to make sure you surround yourself with young women like you who are trying to make something of your lives.
All the best.
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soulfusion
Well-Known Member
OP I am so impressed at how you've processed all the good advice given to you in this thread. Trust me, I'm old enough to be your mama and I'm telling you if you redirect the energy that you've expended on this *boy* on yourself and your future .... you're gonna do great things with your life!!
Also, please pay attention to what angenoir said about surrounding yourself/cultivating friendships with young women who are headed in the same direction you want to go. That's HUGE!! Soon, you'll start to see shifts in thinking and in your life and you'll look at this guy and wonder what you ever saw in him.
Now go out there and make us proud!!!
Also, please pay attention to what angenoir said about surrounding yourself/cultivating friendships with young women who are headed in the same direction you want to go. That's HUGE!! Soon, you'll start to see shifts in thinking and in your life and you'll look at this guy and wonder what you ever saw in him.
Now go out there and make us proud!!!
MyHeavenlyFatherKnows
New Member
Being better than garbage still is not reason enough to settle. You are too important for that!
And as far as seeing him with another woman...sorry, he wasn't with you. He was just keeping you around...
You'll be fine.
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jamaicalovely
Well-Known Member
I only got half way through this thread. I was so heart broken However, I did read the last few posts and saw that you have taken the ladies advice in stride. Good girl for not responding to his text.
But I wanted to address statements you had in previous posts.
#1 - "i guess im just afriad that i won't find anybody as great as he is"
Never feel that you won't find someone better. As a matter of fact, don't even bother "finding" anyone right now. You're a beautiful and smart young woman. God has a very special man out there for you. He's preparing you, but needs you to focus on your studies first.
Sweetie, I wasted my college years on this guy who I thought was the love of my life. I moved in with him and everything. He constantly cheated and disrespected me. It was Senior year when I finally let him go. By this time, it was too late. I wasted too much time. At graduation, I realized I had hardly no friends, no college memories, no more 4.0 GPA no internship/job lined up, and my goals to pledge a sorority were not accomplished. Why? Over a guy.
#2 "my previous relationships (drug dealers, jail birds, cheaters)."
Take time to think what about you attracts you to these type of guys. Stay away from these characters. You deserve so much better.
But I wanted to address statements you had in previous posts.
#1 - "i guess im just afriad that i won't find anybody as great as he is"
Never feel that you won't find someone better. As a matter of fact, don't even bother "finding" anyone right now. You're a beautiful and smart young woman. God has a very special man out there for you. He's preparing you, but needs you to focus on your studies first.
Sweetie, I wasted my college years on this guy who I thought was the love of my life. I moved in with him and everything. He constantly cheated and disrespected me. It was Senior year when I finally let him go. By this time, it was too late. I wasted too much time. At graduation, I realized I had hardly no friends, no college memories, no more 4.0 GPA no internship/job lined up, and my goals to pledge a sorority were not accomplished. Why? Over a guy.
#2 "my previous relationships (drug dealers, jail birds, cheaters)."
Take time to think what about you attracts you to these type of guys. Stay away from these characters. You deserve so much better.
