So he made me cry, and Im still crying.

[Bunny77]

Thank you and your right those type of men is all that i know
Is ee them everyday and i have friends i relationships like that and i always tell myself il never do that again. I refuse to support a man and have 3 or 4 kids from different men. I want a nice healthy stable home not live on food stamps and help from the government (dont get me wrong if anyone does this its just i choose to be independent.). We must support each other

but yes i am goin to FAU trying to double major in Criminal Justice and Pyscology so i have big dream and aspirations!

I think i will let him go. After all i do have my whole life ahead of me. Its going to take some time but ultimately that is the best choice me right now.

By the way, I meant to tell you that I loved this post.

You seem to have your head screwed on pretty straight and you know that you want better for yourself and your life. Just keep trusting in yourself and know that you can have all that you desire!!!

 

[Lucia]

when i try to ignore him and act as if nothing is wrong he does acknowledge somethings wrong. He says he hears it in my voice and then all of a sudden wants to work it out

*sigh* Ladies thank you all for your advice.

again with the manipulation, he's not nice, he's not sweet and once you see he's not either then you'll se him as the tool douche-bag he is. You deserve better, you are pretty, a catch, and you're getting your stuff together, and you have to tell yourself that until you believe it.

 

[jada1111]

I feel what you are saying Jada. But it made me upset reading it because I've been through these same things... Some of us don't leave right away but we must understand that if we do stay, we as women are the ones that have to change... If a man is acting a certain way and keeps repeating the same patterns, if we stay in that situation we as women need to point the fingers at ourselves not the man. We are the ones that need to change.

Because the man repeats the same patters, we sometimes repeat the same patterns within our reaction to his actions over and over.... So if we stay we must start with self... That way we collect our marbles instead of giving them away.. if it doesn't work out at least it started off with the woman working on herself instead of her spreading herself thin trying extra hard to make things work.

However lets not get it twisted Jada. There are times when I would have been in the car with you with the lighter fluid girl...

I say ignore him a bit... don't even let him hear you sweat in your voice.. Distance yourself a bit.. stay cool calm and collected..... The more you do you the more he will want to work it out... The more he will show you with his actions rather then his words... ok let me stop I'm rambling I know you guys are tired of seeing my fonts... I hope it works out.. we are all queens please believe it!

LOL @ the bolded!

PinkdotI LOVED YOUR POST! Don't get me wrong, it's just that this particular dude is beyond trifling!

Of course if she ignores him NOW he'll be on her like white on rice, but men like him have a character flaw that can't be corrected overnite. I know he's young, but there are men in their thirties and beyond STILL pulling crap similar to this. They will never be decent men to any woman they come across.

I know the OP is weak for him right now, but he doesn't know how to be a good man. In addition, he has a mother that cottles him and sees nothing wrong with his actions.

I feel your advice is better for someone NEW. It's perfect.

 

[MissNina]

This relationship is far from "healthy". You're not supposed to hurt or go through an emotional ringer.

He needs a beatdown. For real.

You need to buy the books

HE'S NOT THAT INTO YOU
THINK LIKE A MAN ACT LIKE A WOMAN by Steve Harvey
WHY MEN LOVE *****ES

If you can't buy them, then take a day to sit in the bookstore or library to read them. They will be of tremendous help to your FUTURE relationships. Cause this dude right here is the ultimate loser.

For the love of all things good from God, DO NOT read that book. Read "HJNTIY" and "The Vixen Manual" instead

I don't personally think the fact that you two text a lot is a big deal. Him not responding and going MIA via text however isn't cool. TRUST ME. Been there, kinda still doing that. . .but he's not my boyfriend so he can do that. When you're in a relationship, you kinda owe it to the other person to do more than half-*** it. No effort is cool for kicking it or "talking", relationships require effort.

He's not ready for a real relationship, IMO. That doesn't make him a bad person or some manipulative dude that doesn't care about you. Regardless of what ppl say, I'm sure he cares more than a little. . .but, honestly, if he's not ready, he's not ready. He is going to act like he's not ready until he is. If you wanna wait around for that, that's your business. . .you'll get tired on your own eventually. It will come to you. . .like an epiphany LOL

 

[Poohbear]

Now ladies he is the most loyal and honest person i know so im pretty sure he isnt a cheater (for the most part) and just a week ago i poured out all my feelings about him in a letter letting him know how i felt about his actions and he has really been trying to change. one of the points was him choosing to hang with his friends before me. we only see each other about once a week, two at the most. And the text thing. That bothers me so much. But i care greatly for him.I don't know what to do any more.

Ladies please give me some advice on him.

How is he the most loyal and honest person you know and he gave you the run-a-rounds like that? erplexed

Whether he's cheating on you or not, that's beside the point. That was very careless and disrespectful of him not to let you know the real deal about whether to spend time with you or not that day.

And how do you even know whether or not he was hanging with his friends before you that day? He didn't even tell you what he was doing. He just said he wasn't home. He could have been anywhere!

And if his texting habits bother you, you need to let him know the next time you all are face-to-face. And if you two want to see each other, it's best to plan it over an actual phone conversation rather than text messaging. People can tend to get away with things when communication is through text messaging.

But I don't know... If someone did me like that and didn't tell me why the sudden change in plans, I would not want to deal with that person anymore. I know you said you care greatly for him, but have you thought about whether he cares greatly for you? It's not worth the crying and heartache if someone is going to continue to ignore some of your text messages and phone calls. Not cool at all and it shouldn't be tolerated any longer.

 

[Lucia]

So what you've been describing to us is him changing? Just@ bc he seems better on paper than the other guys your used to doesn't make him a great prize. He plays with your emotions and he knows how you feel and makes you suffer this is not the definition of a nice loyal person you've gotten a lot of good advice here let it sink in and aviod him until all this were saying clicks for you

 

[discobiscuits]

he's jerking you around. leave him and get your study on & KIM.

 

[Poohbear]

Thanx for the advice
Yes i do realize even when i share my feelings things have changed but not quite there yet. Anyways hes a man so i should have expected it from him but when i do break up with him i want to do it in person and im afraid he will just persuade me not too by saying how much he loves me and cares about me. I guess my BS radar is broken because it probably wont work. i do believe he loves me and cares about me greatly. he was one of those guys constantly trying to get your attention and i talk to him for a whole year before i actually gave it a try...im confused and misareble

at this point i don't think he cares because he hasnt texted me or called me since it happend. I guess thats my fault because of the words i said to him after the incident he hates when i curse at him he says its very disrespectful.

should i cave in and call him?

Actions speak louder than words. Someone can tell me that they love me every second of the day, but if they do not show me that they love me, it's total BULLSH!T.

I saw where you said "Anyways hes a man so i should have expected it from him"... not all men are like your current boyfriend. You should not expect this from a man that really loves you and wants to be with you. Your boyfriend apparently isn't that type of man.

And I don't think you should even waste your time trying to set up a time to meet face-to-face to break up with him. Since your relationship was basically based on text messaging, why don't you just send him a text and say "I want to break up with you. It's over. Good-bye" or something of that nature. And if he happens to respond, don't tell him why and don't try to reconcile with him either. Just ignore and don't respond back to him. Move on with your life. You are 18 years old and have so much more important things to set your mind to than him.

 

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

Now ladies he is the most loyal and honest person i know so im pretty sure he isnt a cheater (for the most part) m.

The answer is staring you in the face. I'm not saying he's cheating with another person...but if he can't be "faithful" to you concerning your schooling, then forget him. He doesn't value you. University is first! You are making your career. Does he allow you to sidetrack him? I don't think so. Don't get back, get even, nothing like that....just get going. Take more interest in yourself. I am sorry for the hurt feelings you're having. Let him go. If he's the right guy, he'll come correct without you urging him on.

 

[Kerryann]

I can read all this but from what ive read so far is crazy where in the whole you found this so called loyal man thast so honest.
My dear i know that you are still young but you better MAN UP and get a back bone because that weak feeling all of us women find that one guy in our lifetime that will whip ur butt out of shape and make us feel stupi in the end so stand up for yourself asap and get that education make him chase you not you chase him

 

[lux10023]

he is ugh.

i would never ever entertain a man who is treating me blatantly like crap--like str8 up---"nevermind"

--sistah he is not worth your time or anotha breath--please move on.

 

[caltron]

Lcherilu,
My heart breaks for you. We've all been there at some point or another. This guy you've been seeing may be sweet and make you feel like you are on top of the world, but he is not treating you the way that a man should. You really should not have to put up with this.

The thing that makes me most sad is that you don't seem to realize how special you are. I don't know you, but you come across as a very genuine and sweet young lady--the kind that any guy would love to have. The way you are coming across, you seem to feel that this is the only guy in the world that could ever love you and nothing could be further from the truth. When you find a good man that loves you, you'll realize instantly that love shouldn't be this hard and make you feel like you're feeling now. You will feel like the queen that you are instead of some little begging dog. The only way you're going to find your true love is if you're willing to let go of the frogs. Hard as that may be, once you've found your good mind, you'll kick yourself for not letting go sooner.

I think you should take a break from finding a serious relationship. You are very young and this is the time in your life you should be having fun. Believe me, you will look back on these moments 10-15 years from now and regret the amount of time you spent worrying about this man. You may not feel strong enough to officially "break up" with him, but you definitely need to develop your life outside of him. Concentrate on connecting with other female friends and going out on social events. Spend more time casually dating and let things develop naturally. Don't talk to guys like you're on a mission to find a serious relationship.

Good luck to you and hope things get better soon.

 

[itismehmmkay]

Just at a base level I'd be pissed that I drove all the way over there and all his communication was in text. I don't like when people in general leave me hanging, regardless of the relationship type (platonic, romantic, work, family, etc.)

Fall back and focus more energy on yourself for a while. If this is something you're not used to, it'll take practice, but eventually you will learn to honor yourself and time more. It's a growing pang.

(As a guide, make sure you're staying busy enough to where don't even have time to answer until his 4th or 5th call (texts don't count) if you even have time to answer at all.)

 

[Sunshine77]

I wish I knew of this site whan I was younger or that some of you ladies could have been my older sister. When I was younger I loved this guy so much. He didn't treat me the way I wanted but I kept holding on to whatever he gave. Well one day he dumped me in a horrible way. I dated him again only to be dumped again. The second time he did it over the phone after just seeing me. I did all the calling the begging and made myself feel like a fool. It took me YEARS to completely get over it.

Please honey do not go back to him. Do not call him. Take this lesson and move on. Do something you always wanted to do, hang out with friends, live your life. Like caltron said you don't want to look back and regret the wasted time. I know I did.

 

[-Volare]

There's some good advice in this thread. He's no good and up to no good. Don't let him phase you.

OT-You're very pretty btw.

 

[Crystal]

thanx. he has stood me up so many times before and acts as if nothing happens until i bring it up. I don't know why i get so weak fro him sometimes and i always give in. I guess im to kindhearted. And he still hasn't called or text me. He's the type of dude with "pride." He's probably goin to wait til i text him first and doesn't believe he was wrong in the situation because he was "joking." I can already image the conversation

You get weak for him because you ARE weak. It's cool, we've all gone through it once or twice before... you'll learn. Once you understand your self-worth and put more value and love in yourself than some frog-headed boy the tables will turn. Nothing we can say here will make you woman up... it's a process, one that I hope you go through soon.

You should check out this book called "Why Men Love *****es" by Sherry Argov. I highly recommend it.... Learn to be that ***** that men respect and fall over. This dude is walking all over you because he can.

Keep your head up little sister and I hope it all works out in the end.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Awww.....I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you OP!!!

Trust me....this guy is not really worth your time. OR your precious tears.

I know how it feels to be sooo "in love" with a guy that he makes you "weak", and he even makes you do things you wouldn't ordinarily do. Trust me...been there...done that. I'm going through it now myself!

But I had to remove myself from the situation and realize that I deserve sooo much better. YOU deserve better too!! Take what these ladies are saying to heart. They are telling you the truth! When a guy really loves you and cares for you, he won't make you cry, and he won't treat you like he could take you or leave you. He'll make the effort to come see YOU. He won't make you waste your gas and drive to go see him and then joke about the fact that you actually came to see him.

So keep your chin up girl. You're worth so much more than this guy. You can do so much better. Unfortunately, it took me a long time to realize that I could do much better. Sometimes in life we will hold on for dear life to a relationship we may know is bad for us simply because we don't think we can do any better. Or, we may be holding on to a guy that is not treating us that great because we've never been treated differently.

But trust me...when you finally have a guy in your life that treats you like the queen that you are, you will NEVER go back to settling for mere crumbs from a guy. You will laugh at your "old self" and wonder what you ever saw in that guy in the first place!

I'm still looking for my "Prince", but I know he's out there, and at least now I realize my self-worth and KNOW deep down that I can do soooo much better. I'm no longer settling for crumbs or mistreatment from a guy that I like romantically ever again!

 

[LisaLisa1908]

when i try to ignore him and act as if nothing is wrong he does acknowledge somethings wrong. He says he hears it in my voice and then all of a sudden wants to work it out

*sigh* Ladies thank you all for your advice.

That's a problem. It shouldn't have to take you ignoring him to realize that he was in the wrong.

But if you want to work this out, go for it. I'm not sure why, but apparently, he has something you like better than being respected and held in high enough regard for consideration.

INCONSIDERATE PEOPLE DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU. Remember that.

 

[pinkdot's blog]

When we have boyfriends we put them on a pedestal in our minds and hearts. But when they strait up dog us out like he's done to you over and over, we must remove him from that position. For he is the one who decided to go from king to court jester.

Mentally stripping way his tittle will help you to become more strong in this situation. Think about where you have him in your heart and your mind. Where we place people in our hearts and minds are precious. That position is earned and he doesn't belong there.

You can't mentally afford to keep him there for now. I'd say do whatever you have to do to come up out of this. Do whatever you have to do for you to have the advantage and be on top.

Right now decided that he will not be your end all be all. You put your eggs into his basket and now hes throwing them around and playing with them. Take the ones you have left back. Start from there and look at your situation from the outside looking in for a second.

Life is much better when we accept the situation for what it is and then move upward and onward to make it better for ourselves. Do not struggle. Do not try to fight love you will only make it worse. Decide right now that when a man acts like he doesn't want to be there or if he's acting like he wants to break up that you will just let it happen. I want you to know it doesn't mean its over, it juts put fire under their a*&%. You can't afford to care about a relationship the other person doesn't care about. Look at where caring about a rotten relationship got you. Decide right now.


Pull through for yourself right now! Love yourself more right now! You need you more then ever right now. Yeah I know it hurts and you took your lumps but you can get through this come out on top. You just have to make the decision to do so... If he's holding out, stay busy. You can hold out just as much.

He's being trifling right now but there is good in every man. Only a woman who respects herself, her space, her mind, and her time, will be the one who brings it out of him. But getting him to respect you isn't the goal here. Because a woman who truly truly respects herself will respect herself and love herself enough to not put up with it. So you see at the end of the day it all boils down to how much you love yourself. I know this I've been through it and I am not perfect I fall off to. But think about his.... How much of yourself are you willing to sacrifice for his scraps of his time and attention he tires to ration out to you. Men do what you let them do.

If you are going to stay always always stand your ground. Ignore him right back... Ignore him for a really long time. Hold out longer then you ever have...

 

[nappystorm]

This thread is so sad

Go back and read your orignial post and ask yourself what you would tell a friend in this situation.

Break up with him. Get a copy of "He's just not that into you" and "It's called a break up because it's broken". And keep using the sisters of LHCF for love and support.

 

[ang3lface816]

You are probably not going to like my answer.. But here goes..

I was in a relationship with someone like this.. When we talked/or saw each other it was so perfect, I couldn't imagine life without him. But he had a habit of doing the same thing as your guy..

Not answering questions, leaving me hanging. Inviting me over, then having things to do.. or just is suddenly not home..

Come to find out.. He had women all over the place.. It sounds as if he is using you as a floater.. When something doesn't work out with the other chicks.. She/they probably turned him down.. so he calls you again.. (probably planning on seeing you both in the same day).. then suddenly isn't available (this means that the other chick may have told him, she could see him that day) so again he tells you, to not come...

He is definitely playing a game with you..
And if he really wanted to see you.. he would...
same for talking/texting..

I had to learn all of this the hard way.. No man who cares for you is ever too busy... remember that..

 

[lcherilu]

Ladies thank you so much for the GREAT advice. As i laid in bed last night i let everything you ladies said sink into my mind but suddenly began to cry. not over him but the truth of the matter. he really isn't that "perfect" as i think he is. i made a list of everything bad he has ever done to me and rated them on a scale of 1-10. ten being the worst. Then I made a list of all the nice things, and other stuff i admired about him and my conclusion was the bad things won. So this morning he texted me again "good morning baby" and i did something i havent done in a long time and ignored it and went on about my day. I think this is the first step in the healing process (Love can be challenging!). i think il ignore him for a while until i have fully made my decision and done some soul searching for myself and stop putting this man before me and my needs and SCHOOL.

Thank you!!! I love you all!!

 

[Bunny77]

Ladies thank you so much for the GREAT advice. As i laid in bed last night i let everything you ladies said sink into my mind but suddenly began to cry. not over him but the truth of the matter. he really isn't that "perfect" as i think he is. i made a list of everything bad he has ever done to me and rated them on a scale of 1-10. ten being the worst. Then I made a list of all the nice things, and other stuff i admired about him and my conclusion was the bad things won. So this morning he texted me again "good morning baby" and i did something i havent done in a long time and ignored it and went on about my day. I think this is the first step in the healing process (Love can be challenging!). i think il ignore him for a while until i have fully made my decision and done some soul searching for myself and stop putting this man before me and my needs and SCHOOL.

Thank you!!! I love you all!!

Welcome back!

The list was a GREAT idea. Isn't it amazing how you can really see the truth when you start paying attention to everything, good and bad?

You have a good head on your shoulders, and you are making the right decision. If you need to cry some more about the truth of the matter, let it all out... get all the crying out and one day, you won't even want to cry anymore.

And that's when you know you've moved on! You are a jewel, so make sure you only deal with people who treat you that way!

 

[naijamerican]

Ladies thank you so much for the GREAT advice. As i laid in bed last night i let everything you ladies said sink into my mind but suddenly began to cry. not over him but the truth of the matter. he really isn't that "perfect" as i think he is. i made a list of everything bad he has ever done to me and rated them on a scale of 1-10. ten being the worst. Then I made a list of all the nice things, and other stuff i admired about him and my conclusion was the bad things won. So this morning he texted me again "good morning baby" and i did something i havent done in a long time and ignored it and went on about my day. I think this is the first step in the healing process (Love can be challenging!). i think il ignore him for a while until i have fully made my decision and done some soul searching for myself and stop putting this man before me and my needs and SCHOOL.

Thank you!!! I love you all!!

I am so very proud of you, Icherilu. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Ladies thank you so much for the GREAT advice. As i laid in bed last night i let everything you ladies said sink into my mind but suddenly began to cry. not over him but the truth of the matter. he really isn't that "perfect" as i think he is. i made a list of everything bad he has ever done to me and rated them on a scale of 1-10. ten being the worst. Then I made a list of all the nice things, and other stuff i admired about him and my conclusion was the bad things won. So this morning he texted me again "good morning baby" and i did something i havent done in a long time and ignored it and went on about my day. I think this is the first step in the healing process (Love can be challenging!). i think il ignore him for a while until i have fully made my decision and done some soul searching for myself and stop putting this man before me and my needs and SCHOOL.

Thank you!!! I love you all!!

Way to go lcherilu!!!

Trust me...it's okay to be sad and to cry over how this guy treated you. I still cry sometimes at night too when I think about how my guy friend did me wrong. I cry over being so naive. But you know what?? Don't wallow in self-pity or past hurt or regrets for too long. It will only make you depressed and feeling sorry for yourself. So, if you get the urge to cry...dont' hold it back, but don't wallow in misery either. Just change your focus and move on!

BTW...KUDOS to you for just ignoring his text. Sometimes it takes that to move on and heal. I'll never forget the feeling I got the first time that I did that to my guy friend... ha! It felt so freeing! At first I felt kind of scared or bad, but you can't imagine just how FREE I felt after I didn't respond. A guy who is REALLY into you will CALL you if he doesn't hear from you via text.

Pick up WMLB and girl....keep it moving! He could be doing a LOT more "work" in order to keep you. He should be trying to win YOU over...not the other way around!

Just remember in the gem that you are, and don't settle for crumbs again!

 

[ang3lface816]

So this morning he texted me again "good morning baby" and i did something i havent done in a long time and ignored it and went on about my day. I think this is the first step in the healing process (Love can be challenging!). i think il ignore him for a while until i have fully made my decision and done some soul searching for myself and stop putting this man before me and my needs and SCHOOL.

Thank you!!! I love you all!![/quote]


Oh no problem!! I wish I knew about this board as well years ago!! lol..
And again, remember.. You are way too pretty for all that.. You deserve the best...

And don't settle until you get it..
If you ever need any advice/help/ feel free to pm me.. I'll add you as a friend once I figure out how.. LOL.. (im still fairly new here as well)

 

[loved]

You are probably not going to like my answer.. But here goes..

I was in a relationship with someone like this.. When we talked/or saw each other it was so perfect, I couldn't imagine life without him. But he had a habit of doing the same thing as your guy..

Not answering questions, leaving me hanging. Inviting me over, then having things to do.. or just is suddenly not home..

Come to find out.. He had women all over the place.. It sounds as if he is using you as a floater.. When something doesn't work out with the other chicks.. She/they probably turned him down.. so he calls you again.. (probably planning on seeing you both in the same day).. then suddenly isn't available (this means that the other chick may have told him, she could see him that day) so again he tells you, to not come...

He is definitely playing a game with you..
And if he really wanted to see you.. he would...
same for talking/texting..

I had to learn all of this the hard way.. No man who cares for you is ever too busy... remember that..

I didn't want to say this OP because you said early on that he was not a cheater, but the behavior you described screamed that he is seeing other women, especially, the ducking you after he invited you to see him and all of a sudden going silent.

I am glad to see that you are going through the process of moving away from him. Most of my thoughts have been shared by the other ladies, but as part of my own healing process from a similar experience, I

- found some other meaningful activity or group to occupy my time. I found that participating in a dance ministry and a extra-curricular activities at school pulled me away from my toxic dude.

- he will start blowing you up for a face-to-face meeting. Don't do it. In your current state of mind, it will probably turn into some super emotional & unnecessarily intimate affair. When you're letting someone go like this, you can get into a back and forth that can be super emotional and passionate, but not necessarily healthy or productive.

- please do not think that you have invested some amount of time that means you have to keep working on this. You will probably look back with regret with the time you continued to waste on someone who was clearly not worth it. Eventually, you might even see or hear of him with other women & feel like you have to fight for him. Speaking from my own experience when I did this in the past, I looked back and had the same feeling as if I'd struggled to hold on to garbage on the corner. I'm not using that term to describe the person, but the value of the relationship.

- it's OK to do you for a moment. You don't necessarily need to have a boyfriend right now.


I wish that I had a place like this to vent when I was going through this myself. Be well, take care of yourself & value yourself, and know that the best is yet to come.

 

[StarFish106]

I read most of this post and wondered "Was this me back in the day?" I am so glad that you are realizing that you deserve more than this. When I was in this type of mess (for the last time) I made a decision. I looked back on all the past behaviors of the guys I had dated and figured out what I didn't like and will no longer tolerate as acceptable to or for me. Once I did that, it was so easy to delete guys that came at me with this past type behaviour. It wasn't personal but if I smelled his BS a mile away, I removed myself from the situation quick. No harm no foul. My DH gave me a nickname when we first dated, "Here today, Gone Today" and it was on point.

Basically let this be a learning tool for you for the future. So when the next contestant tries to pull this on you, you can say "Nope not going to go down this road with you, thanks for playing, NEXT!" Learn from you past mistakes because the universe will make you repeat it until you learn the lesson.

You are about to go to college, where a whole new world will be open to you. Learn, embrace and enjoy your self. You will emerge a better and stronger person.

Had I not learned my lessons, I would not have been married to my DH for the last 5 years and in love with him for a total of 10 years.

From the words of my almost MIL (if I had married her idiotic son)
"Love doesn't make you miserable"

I wish you all the best!

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I wish that I had a place like this to vent when I was going through this myself. Be well, take care of yourself & value yourself, and know that the best is yet to come.

Yea....same here! I sooo wish I did. Well, in a way I did...but I just didn't really post about my guy issues back then. But now I kind of wished that I had.

I was sooo blind and naive. There would have been a lot of things I would have done differently.

 

[LisaLisa1908]

Ladies thank you so much for the GREAT advice. As i laid in bed last night i let everything you ladies said sink into my mind but suddenly began to cry. not over him but the truth of the matter. he really isn't that "perfect" as i think he is. i made a list of everything bad he has ever done to me and rated them on a scale of 1-10. ten being the worst. Then I made a list of all the nice things, and other stuff i admired about him and my conclusion was the bad things won. So this morning he texted me again "good morning baby" and i did something i havent done in a long time and ignored it and went on about my day. I think this is the first step in the healing process (Love can be challenging!). i think il ignore him for a while until i have fully made my decision and done some soul searching for myself and stop putting this man before me and my needs and SCHOOL.

Thank you!!! I love you all!!

Good for you! I am so very proud of you for taking that inventory and discovering that the bad outweighed the good. I HIGHLY recommend more people do this, honestly and fully, before deciding how to handle their relationships.

You seem like a smart girl and I hope you can take the lesson in all this and realize that YOU are a prize, and that any good guy out there would love to be with someone like you. I know it hurts right now, but the good thing about being hurt is that you eventually heal. The heart is very resilient.

Good luck sweetheart, and KEEP STUDYING! Your future is ahead of you and it's waiting for you to pick it up and run.