Ladies is it/was really that hard to find a good man?!

[MizAvalon]

I'm sorry but I sho' hope none of these dudes could stand to lose a few pounds themselves.

they are actually quite fit and workout regularly. Some boast about their 5, 6, 9% body fat

I don't find anything wrong with their preference. I don't date nor am I attracted to fat or overweight men. Would never give one the time of day.

 

[gymfreak336]

If he's a Christian virgin why does he want his girlfriend dressing sexy?erplexed

I was wondering the same thing. At first, I thought I was reading that wrong.

 

[Bunny77]

I was wondering the same thing. At first, I thought I was reading that wrong.

Good point!!!

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

I don't find anything wrong with their preference. I don't date nor am I attracted to fat or overweight men. Would never give one the time of day.

Um, I was being sarcastic.

I was commenting that dude said that educated women are all fat and all thin women are boring/non-interesting.

Guess this leaves him *** out as far as finding a woman.

 

[Mai Tai]

I do not think it's hard to find a good man at all. I feel that women are sometimes so picky, that they ignore a lot of good men. There are good men of all races, and I feel that African American women should explore their options (because black men surely are) Things like "I want a sensitive thug," or "He can be nice, but not too nice." make no sense at all. I feel that if you have truly used all options in dating, then it's time to do some self evaluation.

 

[heyfranz]

I do not think it's hard to find a good man at all. I feel that women are sometimes so picky, that they ignore a lot of good men. There are good men of all races, and I feel that African American women should explore their options (because black men surely are) Things like "I want a sensitive thug," or "He can be nice, but not too nice." make no sense at all. I feel that if you have truly used all options in dating, then it's time to do some self evaluation.

I agree - i know a few women (myself included) who have caught good fish and thrown them back in the water for some stupid reason or another. Some of us would rather have a "good looking" man, than a "good" man. Some of us would rather have a thug than a nice guy. Some of us would rather have a man with money and a corporate position than a decent, God fearing man with morals and a blue collar job. So many women undermine themselves with their preferences. There are good men everywhere.

 

[Jerzeegirlinfla]

I think I found him.
Its the little things he does and compliments he pays me.
We just started dating but so far he is better than any man I've ever been with.
Last week we were talking about hanging out but I knew the weekend ahead was a busy one for him so I said don't worry about it I know you don't have time. Then he said the three magic words to me "I'll make time" and he did. Some of the best words I've ever heard.

 

[natstar]

I think I found him.
Its the little things he does and compliments he pays me.
We just started dating but so far he is better than any man I've ever been with.
Last week we were talking about hanging out but I knew the weekend ahead was a busy one for him so I said don't worry about it I know you don't have time. Then he said the three magic words to me "I'll make time" and he did. Some of the best words I've ever heard.

Awesome post!

 

[DMJ's Mom]

I marked 2. Ive met quite a few really great men in my lifetime but they were not great men for me most of them I am still friends with I don't think they are hard to find but I do believe that they are overlooked often. On the other had I know that I have found a really great man that is the really great man for me even though I voted " I think I got him" I didn't see the " I found him" option until I already submitted my vote

 

[chokolate miss]

I think I found him.
Its the little things he does and compliments he pays me.
We just started dating but so far he is better than any man I've ever been with.
Last week we were talking about hanging out but I knew the weekend ahead was a busy one for him so I said don't worry about it I know you don't have time. Then he said the three magic words to me "I'll make time" and he did. Some of the best words I've ever heard.

Aww, that was sooo sweet!! @ the bolded. Even though I am single as a dollar bill. I always say that if a man wants to be with you he will make the time. I'm happy for you!!

 

[Ladyhenri]

Its hard to find a man, but its easy to get one.

When you are looking for a man, i think you give off a certain vibe that is not cute at all.
Besides, i think men are put off by women that hunt them down. They want to be the one doing the chasing

How to get a Man?
1: STop Looking

2: Love yourself- Not by being proud or cocky,and loud mouthing that you're all that when you know you're not, but by evaluating your self and examining your strengths and your weaknesses.
If you are chubby/fat, get your nails, skin, eyebrows, hair and clothes on point. You can still show of some cleavage, etc, but keep it classy. No micro mini skirts, hun....You'll look like you're trying too hard.
Dont squeeze into clothes that are too small either. Saying you're a size 12 when you know you're more like a 20 is fooling only you. Everyone else can see that you are a 20.
If you have spots, sort em out. Try and get nice even skin.

Highlight your best feature: If you have pretty eyes or lips, dig out the make-up. Sense of humour/wit, joke more often. A Nice voice, get your behind in a reading class or your church pulpit, intelligence, start intellectual conversations. You were given these individual strength for a reason; you must not bury them away.

3: Involve yourself in something that you enjoy, that has male and female members. So you can meet more like minded people. Be yourself to those around you, while immersing yourself in said activity....
And try to be nice.
Even if the guys are all taken, a lady there may invite you to a party or for dinner with her friends, and you get more and more opportunities to meet people and more guys.

It may take a while but you will GET a man doing the above. You will also love yourself a lot more and be able to keep the man.

Book over

 

[Cinda2503]

"When you find your path, you will also find your love story. People today are consumed by doubts about their relationships: Have I found the right partner? Am I being true to myself? Have I given the best part of myself away? As a result, there is a restless kind of consumer shopping for partners, as if the "right" one can be found by toting up a potential mate's pluses and minuses until the number of pluses matches some mythical standard. The path to love, however, is never about externals. However good or bad you feel about your relationship, the person you are with at this moment is the "right" person, because he or she is a mirror of who you are inside. Our culture hasn't taught us this (as it has failed to teach us so much about spiritual realities). When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself. Every conflict you wage is an excuse not to face a conflict within. The path to love therefore clears up a monumental mistake that millions of people make--the mistake that someone "out there" is going to give (or take) something that is not already yours. When you truly find love, you find yourself."

ITA!!!! That so right. The type of man/relationship you are attracting reflects you.

This mirror image is also reflected in the upkeep of your personal spaces, (i.e. your home, your car, you desk at work, your closet, etc...)

 

[cocoberry10]

I don't think it is hard to find a good man but you are going against the odds to find a man with the right fit. There are only a few soulmates for you among billions of people in the world at any given time so the odds are like 3 in 3 billion.

What works for me wont work for you. I think people should realize that they are only going to end up with one person in the end so don't get discouraged when they find people who were made for someone else. Just keep it moving, you will find him.

I agree with everything you said, until the bolded. I'm old school, so I'll just say "he'll find you"

 

[Iansan]

I think so, easy to find a man to pass the time with but forever, yea...

 

[kbody4]

i think you are on point Tiara another point is that geograpy matters too, i mean sometimes where you live is not really the right place for you not just about love life but everything else. I find that when you love the place you live everything falls into place, friends, job and love life. Im not even talking about deadbeat men, im talking about the ones who are alright let me give you an example, im living in a city i dont love and i wish i could be anywhere else but here but i just cant be bothered to change colleges and all that i just want to finish my degree and then i'll be gone. No one i have met here really interests me that much. Being in a relationship was something i found easy until i moved to the place i dont love. So if you dont liek where you live that impacts on so much more I know im not putting this as logically as i can but i do hope y'all get the picture

I know exactly what you are saying, and it totally makes sense. I hated where I lived and it does affect how you feel about everything else. Good Post!

 

[**Glamourlicious**]

No....well yea...maybe...but I have one and I am holding on tight! LOL

 

[Allandra]

I believe that water seeks it's own level. In other words, you attract what you are. If you are generally a good person who gives off positive energy, then you will most certainly attract that back into your life.

I absolutely agree with this.

 

[UmSumayyah]

Well, I up and went actively looking.

I've been happily married for more than ten years now.

 

[Bunny77]

Well, I up and went actively looking.

I've been happily married for more than ten years now.

You've been one of the people who've inspired me!

I do find it interesting that women of pretty much every other race but black have no problem actively looking for a partner... and most of them find one too.

 

[Makenzie]

Well, I up and went actively looking.

I've been happily married for more than ten years now.

What were some of the things you did?

 

[missjones]

What were some of the things you did?

I want to know too. I don't know what to do. I thought I would find someone in college...that didn't happen. I thought I would find someone at my job...no one I'm attracted to here. I signed up for BlackPeopleMeet.com look...I've only got interest from men who remind me of an uncle (ew). I don't like clubs, too loud and I can't dance. Apparently I'm doing something wrong

 

[Bunny77]

I want to know too. I don't know what to do. I thought I would find someone in college...that didn't happen. I thought I would find someone at my job...no one I'm attracted to here. I signed up for BlackPeopleMeet.com look...I've only got interest from men who remind me of an uncle (ew). I don't like clubs, too loud and I can't dance. Apparently I'm doing something wrong

Do you go to professional events? Activities groups?

 

[Kiadodie]

Oh and you're not supposed to be trying to find him. He should be trying to find you.[/quote]


I already 'thanked' you for saying this but I have to say AMEN!!!!!!

 

[missjones]

Do you go to professional events? Activities groups?

I'm thinking about joining a professional group, but it seems to be mostly women.

 

[Kiadodie]

I'm thinking about joining a professional group, but it seems to be mostly women.

YoOu know I joined a couple of groups and from my experience it was mostly women.

 

[Bunny77]

I'm thinking about joining a professional group, but it seems to be mostly women.

Really? I'm in a few and there are tons of men here... they're geared toward young single professionals and the ratio is 50-50. They aren't professional groups geared toward a certain career field, but more social groups designed for young single folks to meet each other.

 

[missjones]

Really? I'm in a few and there are tons of men here... they're geared toward young single professionals and the ratio is 50-50. They aren't professional groups geared toward a certain career field, but more social groups designed for young single folks to meet each other.

I have to look for something like that. I was going to join a group for black accountants.

 

[moonglowdiva]

I keep on hearing I cant find a good man anywhere!
Is it or was it really that hard

All of the men in the south are either married, gay, incarcerated, or dead at least the ones in my age group.

 

[spelmanlocks]

Me and hubby joined a gym (LA Fitness) about a month ago and the number of guys who hit on me is crazy. I don't know if their situation (and don't care either since I'm married), but I never realized that so many black men could be found in the gym.

 

[carmeleyes81]

All men can be good men, its just whether or not he is good for you...