Marriages lasting 20, 30, 50 years....No infidelity?

[~~HoneyComb~~]

I agree with this. I have many 20+ year marriages in my family (grand parents, parents, aunts, uncles, etc) and in most of them I do not know if infidelity has taken place or not. There are some people who believe in keeping their marital business within the marriage. Me and DH are like this, we don't talk to anyone about our marriage but each other. I know on my part I will never cheat and I believe and pray my DH will be faithful to me.

Also, I don't believe a couple being mushy and kissey, kissey is good evidence that infidelity has never taken place. Oh and I do believe its possible to be faithful forever.

I'm in agreement with you here.

A lot of folks that have been married for decades don't necessarily air their dirty laundry, esp. those that have been married for 30+ years, because during those times folks kept things to themselves and didn't do a lot of talking about what went on behind closed doors like we see now.

Also, I've know couples that were kissy, huggy, feely in public be the ones that would divorce or have infidelity within the marriage, and people are wondering "How could such a loving couple end up in divorce". Extreme public displays of affection does not mean "cheating" is not going on somewhere. And it doesn't mean that the couple is happy together. It could just be an act.

 

[cocoberry10]

I'm in agreement with you here.

A lot of folks that have been married for decades don't necessarily air their dirty laundry, esp. those that have been married for 30+ years, because during those times folks kept things to themselves and didn't do a lot of talking about what went on behind closed doors like we see now.

Also, I've know couples that were kissy, huggy, feely in public be the ones that would divorce or have infidelity within the marriage, and people are wondering "How could such a loving couple end up in divorce". Extreme public displays of affection does not mean "cheating" is not going on somewhere. And it doesn't mean that the couple is happy together. It could just be an act.

Whole post is great especially the bolded part.

 

[cocoberry10]

I posted this in the other thread. Thought it applied here.

I'm going to say this on this thread and on the other cheating thread.

While I do believe it's POSSIBLE to have monogamy in a marriage, I will be 100% honest and say, I do believe that there are genuine pros and cons to both monogamy and "polygamy" (polyamory).

I don't see one or the other as being a perfect way to marriage. Both will require sacrifices (albeit different ones), and both honestly have benefits. I think each couple has to decide what is most important to them in marriage.

For some people monogamy is a requirement and without it they can't be married. For other people, if a man or woman cheats, it doesn't have to be the end of their marriage. And there have been many couples where infidelity has happened, and their marriage ultimately becomes STRONGER after getting through it!

 

[SpiritJunkie]

My sister just celebrated 25 years of marriage this weekend. yes, there has been infedelity unfortunately. They worked it out.

 

[SpiritJunkie]

Girl!! I love what you are saying here. YOu spittin' the truth. Do not even entertain having that convo. I hate folks that harp on the negative...keep your marriage business to yourself so outside influences don't interfere.

i am not saying this to you. Just making a general statement.

This is EXACTLY how I feel.

I don't even discuss if dh has or has not cheated or if he will, I can only control what I do on my end--to me it's a moot point in a marriage. I can't sit around and be married worrying about if someone will or won't cheat, it's settng myself up for failure and I'm just not about that

I think marriages can go w/o infedility but I also don't think that those that do go through it are terminal or bad marriages. People are human and you never know what goes on in a marriage.

 

[anon123]

Of course it's possible. But chances (stats) are not in your favor.

 

[loved]

In those types of relationships that I know of where I am more familiar with the man, it's hard to cite an example where there has been no infidelity.

It's even sad to witness what some women are willing to put up with to say that they have been with a mate for that long. I have a couple of very extreme examples in mind where the men have reached a point of being pretty open.

 

[taytay86]

i disagree! 20 isnt that long what about ppl celebrating 50 and 60 yrs? dont discourage pll its not the amount of yrs its the individual

 

[exoticmommie]

In general, of course it is possible, you cannot generalize ANYTHING in life, everything and everyone is different. It would be silly to say ALL men cheat, when ALL men are not the same. All you can say is most do/don't. This is in all aspects of life. The percentage may be small but it is still there.

As for personally, as I Christian, I agree that all things are possible with God.

 

[glamazon386]

Yes it can happen. That's why it's important to find that right person.