Is dating a man with a girlfriend/SO wrong?

[MzLady78]

But who told her that?

Unless you had the talk as Quest and her husband did BEFORE marriage, what makes you assume he is or HAS to be faithful to you?

He hasn't taken an oath with you...

Come on, now. I think unless you've both actually said "we're gonna date other people", the assumption for most when you enter a relationship is that you're going to be monogamous.

You mean to tell me I gotta wait for a ring to expect my man to be faithful? Hell naw.

 

[Bint Yusef]

Come on, now. I think unless you've both actually said "we're gonna date other people", the assumption when you enter a relationship is that you're going to be monogamous.

I gotta wait for a ring to expect my man to be faithful? Hell naw.

Right, Ive never heard this before.

 

[gymfreak336]

Girl... my stepsister had a boring husband. He went to work everyday; came home every night; watched the games on Sunday and then repeated it all again, outside of them going places together.

She got bored with spending his money; driving his Mercedes-Benz and cheated on him and he left her.

Ha!

What a dumb b**ch!

idle Hands....thats all I am going to say

 

[Lisa23]

If you want to be in a commited relationship then have a girlfriend. If you want to date different women, then don't tell someone that you will be exclusive with them, if you want to play around.

How can you trust a man who would date you behind his girlfriends back? Wouldn't he just do the same thing to you? Why waste your time, he's not going to be faithful.

 

[Blossssom]

Right, but that was not my point.

If he is free to stray because he isnt engaged or married, does the other half know this. Its not unusual for people to assume they are in a monogamous relationship, unstated or otherwise. So you are saying that assumption is erroneous? I totally get that.

Doesnt take away from the fact that she believes that and he has yet to inform her of the error of her ways, continues to use that to his advantage and benefit. That is the problem I have. If he wants to be with her and doesnt want to only be with her, just say that and everybody can play their little bed hopping games. But to act like there is no act of deception because he hasnt married her yet is wild to me.

Stray? Stray suggests that he has made a commitment to someone when in acutuality he has not.

Again, a person can assume anything they want but just because you "assume" something, doesn't make it a fact.

He nor she has any obligation to tell them what they are doing outside of the time and company they put into them... UNTIL, as in your case, they sit down and "talk about it", or the minister says, "I pronounce you..."

He can want to be with her all he wants, and when he doesn't want to be with her and wants to be with somebody else, he can... unless, read the above bolded.

 

[InsertCleverNameHere]

I don't know... I see so many women complaining about a cheating man and 99.99% of the time he hasn't committed anything to her.

Usually before marriage, there is a period of engagement. Then and only then would I assume 'my man' is committed to me before marriage. So it's not about waking up the day after the ceremony and believing he's 100% monogamus. You knew that before you walked down the aisle.

And really, if a man wants to marry a woman, TRULY WANTS TO MARRY A WOMAN, he's not out dating Undefeated and Blossssom anyway. And if you're his girl/woman and he believes, as you do, that you have an unspoken or spoken committment, he won't stray from that. Ring or no ring.

He is faithful to you because he only WANTS you... everybody else? SCRATCH!

I feel like we are going somewhat off the assumption that married men don't cheat, which as we all know is not the case. A man will truly want to marry a woman and still date Undefeated and Blossom. Hell he might get married and still try to give it another whirl

Also a person who is engaged is still NOT married and according to this philosophy, free game.

Obviously a man who wants to cheat will cheat whether it be in a relationship, engagement, or marriage...but what are you gaining from the situation provided you are a kind person (who wouldn't want to hurt another woman for no reason) and/or a woman who wants to be in a relationship herself (in which case you are gaining a deceiver AND playing second fiddle)? Are you gaining anything?

Good sex maybe, but even then, it's probably not worth it

 

[Bint Yusef]

Stray? Stray suggests that he has made a commitment to someone when in acutuality he has not.

Again, a person can assume anything they want but just because you "assume" something, doesn't make it a fact.

He nor she has any obligation to tell them what they are doing outside of the time and company they put into them... UNTIL, as in your case, they sit down and "talk about it", or the minister says, "I pronounce you..."

He can want to be with her all he wants, and when he doesn't want to be with her and wants to be with somebody else, he can... unless, read the above bolded.

Alright then. We have reached our agree to disagree impasse.

 

[fattyfatfat]

I know someone who is seeing a man with a girlfriend. This guy and his girlfriend live together and my friend still sneaks over there to be with the guy. The girlfriend knows about my friend but thats not stopping her. Karma is a ***** because its going to come back to her and that guy.

 

[Blossssom]

Come on, now. I think unless you've both actually said "we're gonna date other people", the assumption for most when you enter a relationship is that you're going to be monogamous.

You mean to tell me I gotta wait for a ring to expect my man to be faithful? Hell naw.

I just wouldn't expect it... there's no commitment. And who usually does all the talking? The woman... I have yet to hear of a unmarried man telling a woman, "Now, we're exclusive, hear?"

Doesn't happen.

 

[Blossssom]

Alright then. We have reached our agree to disagree impasse.

That's cool... we're still friends and we'll agree on SOMETHING else in the future

You too, MzLady You know you my girl

 

[Undefeated Queen]

I know someone who is seeing a man with a girlfriend. This guy and his girlfriend live together and my friend still sneaks over there to be with the guy. The girlfriend knows about my friend but thats not stopping her. Karma is a ***** because its going to come back to her and that guy.

Damn, she's bold!

 

[InsertCleverNameHere]

Also if you are thinking about dating someone with a SO, you shouldn't ASSUME that they haven't had the monogamous talk.

 

[shynessqueen]

Well, it depends on what the question is.

"Are you married?" No.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" No.

"Are you seeing anyone else?" Now this is the question I ask men when I do go out with them the first time, which ain't often, and the last guy was honest and said he does date.

Fine.

Again, if he's not married, he is fair game and clearly he believes he is fair game.

You only can draw so many lines in the sand. If women don't want their men seeing other women, MARRY 'IM!

Good luck with all that and invite me to the nuptials!

Are you for real?

 

[fattyfatfat]

She laughs and giggles about it! I mean...this guy is LIVING with his girlfriend so they are probably having sex. I hope my friend isnt having sex with him too because thats just naaaaaasty.

Damn, she's bold!

 

[Bint Yusef]

She laughs and giggles about it! I mean...this guy is LIVING with his girlfriend so they are probably having sex. I hope my friend isnt having sex with him too because thats just naaaaaasty.

Of course she is, just hope it aint raw.


@Blossom, no doubt...its certainly no skin off my back as long as you keep providing me that blessed hair grease.

 

[Undefeated Queen]

I just wouldn't expect it... there's no commitment. And who usually does all the talking? The woman... I have yet to hear of a unmarried man telling a woman, "Now, we're exclusive, hear?"

Doesn't happen.

My ex (the ONLY man I ever really loved) straight out told me, "I want you to be my woman and I don't want you to date other men. I don't want another woman just you".

It was so sweet.

 

[Bint Yusef]

My ex (the ONLY man I ever really loved) straight out told me, "I want you to be my woman and I don't want you to date other men. I don't want another woman just you".

It was so sweet.

Yeah my Dh did the same thing. Then proposed a few months later...

 

[sowhut]

I just wouldn't expect it... there's no commitment. And who usually does all the talking? The woman... I have yet to hear of a unmarried man telling a woman, "Now, we're exclusive, hear?"

Doesn't happen.

Those jealous ones do! Or the ones who got sprung themselves. Not exactly in those words but they make it clear that they dont want you seeing anyone else.They're usually being hypocritical and doing them on the side but I've heard it said before (even to me).

 

[PinkPeony]

I just wouldn't expect it... there's no commitment. And who usually does all the talking? The woman... I have yet to hear of a unmarried man telling a woman, "Now, we're exclusive, hear?"

Doesn't happen.

Actually that's how it happened with me and DH .
he also corrected me all the time when I accidently said we're dating... he made sure to let me know we're in a relationship

 

[Blossssom]

I feel like we are going somewhat off the assumption that married men don't cheat, which as we all know is not the case. A man will truly want to marry a woman and still date Undefeated and Blossom. Hell he might get married and still try to give it another whirl

Also a person who is engaged is still NOT married and according to this philosophy, free game.

Obviously a man who wants to cheat will cheat whether it be in a relationship, engagement, or marriage...but what are you gaining from the situation provided you are a kind person (who wouldn't want to hurt another woman for no reason) and/or a woman who wants to be in a relationship herself (in which case you are gaining a deceiver AND playing second fiddle)? Are you gaining anything?

Good sex maybe, but even then, it's probably not worth it

When you get married, you don't expect your spouse to cheat on you, but depending on your wedding vows, you may be open to an "open" marriage. Marriages are not as traditional as they once were, but the two parties have an AGREEMENT when they marry what type of relationship it is.

Now, if your husband is out there "whirling and swirling" and that's not part of the "agreement/vows/oathes" (what have you), then you a problem.

Man, I wish there were more "kind-hearted" women out there... Haha! There ain't, though.

You are right, though. A man who says he is exclusive, whether you are boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife and he's out "whirling and swirling"... you have a problem.

 

[MzLady78]

My ex (the ONLY man I ever really loved) straight out told me, "I want you to be my woman and I don't want you to date other men. I don't want another woman just you".

It was so sweet.

With both of my last two bfs, they were the ones who wanted us to be exclusive. I resisted for months with both of em, lol

 

[MzLady78]

That's cool... we're still friends and we'll agree on SOMETHING else in the future

You too, MzLady You know you my girl [/quote]

Oh, no doubt!

It's all good in the hood!

 

[PinkPeony]

Now the important question obviously is:
Are they an IR couple and is she bigger then a size 10?

 

[Undefeated Queen]

Now the important question obviously is:
Are they an IR couple and is she bigger then a size 10?

Does she have the infamous gap between her thighs?

 

[carcajada]

I was talking with some of the ladies I go to school with a few days ago. Many of them said they would NOT date a married man but didn't find anything wrong with dating a man who has a girlfriend/SO. How do you feel about it?

I think it spells desperation if a woman decides to date a man who is in a relationship with someone already .... and she knows it. For the guy, he's being snaky (unless he has an open relationship).

So why would a gal want to date a snaky guy and share him with the girlfriend - to which she doesn't know the sexual health status of? The other girl will most likely be treated as a secret and only 2nd best next to the SO/girlfriend. Who would want that?

 

[Blossssom]

Also if you are thinking about dating someone with a SO, you shouldn't ASSUME that they haven't had the monogamous talk.

Well, them THEM that... obviously, they are open to dating someone else regardless of the "talk" or not.

And for me, I'm not interested in any "talks" if he's not interested in it. I'm only interested in "I DO'S"

If he is so interested in your "talks", then he wouldn't be talking to me!

But I know, when she gets WIND OF IT, I'll be the fall guy... I know. Always works out that way for some reason

 

[jturner7156]

I personally would not date a man that has a girlfriend or SO b/c I do not want Karma to turn around and get me 3, 5, 10 years later when I am madly in love with someone and thinking they feel the same way! IMHO, it's just wrong!

 

[MzLady78]

Now the important question obviously is:
Are they an IR couple and is she bigger then a size 10?

Why you trying to start trouble, ella?

 

[Blossssom]

Are you for real?

From the cradle to the grave...

 

[Blossssom]

Those jealous ones do! Or the ones who got sprung themselves. Not exactly in those words but they make it clear that they dont want you seeing anyone else.They're usually being hypocritical and doing them on the side but I've heard it said before (even to me).

I was going to suggest that

I haven't met a man in my life with any type of game who comes off like that and isn't being a hypocrite