Inviting A Guy Over To Color...

i used to work at an engineering consulting firm. Those dudes are so book smart but a lot of real life stuff leaves them puzzled :lol:

You just have to be very literal or very straight forward with them.

In fact my ex co-worker told me that I'm very direct.(nothing to do with sex :lol: just routine office stuff) ..but it was because i had to be, because they didn't understand hints or beating around the bush
 
afrofaithful said:
Okay! Little update. I really don't think he got the hint. My text game is horrible. He asked me to come over today to hang out with him and his friends.

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I go over there and as he's walking me to my house he's like, if I call you tonight, don't answer because blah blah blah.

I'm like

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That's what I've been texting you for all week..

He looked puzzled.

Maybe he is a socially awkward savant...

Either way :eyebrows2:
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Ladies, please stop making excuses and offering the "benefit of the doubt" to continue with what you wanted. Just because a man doesn't respond the way you wanted doesn't mean he's suddenly socially clueless or didn't understand what you said.

He's a man. He knows what you said.
This one is not interested in a casual crayon arrangement. Don't reinterpret his behavior to continue. Accept that and evaluate if he still has a place on your team and press on to the next.

Now if he's trying to formally date you then let him spend his money (no dutch mess) & if needed get your itch scratched elsewhere. He can be the dinner once a month dude while Tyrone is the plumber for late night calls and this lawyer is the Saturday brunch after gym. Forgot to add stop giving boyfriend priveleges to new recruits. All that Good Morning texts and night time how was your day is for earned teammembers not someone you trying to get to know. Constant texting creates false intimacy and leaves you with nothing to talk about when you do see him. Make him winder what you're doing.

The thing about dating isn't to keep committing yourself to one over and over. It's managing all of your options until one that is consistent and steps up does so in a way that the others fall to the wayside. That can happen over weeks, months or years but don't be that girl that puts all her eggs in one basket only to find yourself on the outside when he "arrives" and chooses someone else.

[This works both ways. If you were the celibate one then it's even more important that you keep it light initially with multiple options. Otherwise it's easy to mistake horniness for a connection. Spend time doing safe things with multiple people. The one that is real will show himself through his actions. There are too many predators running through church circles women have to get more savvy to ensure result they want.]

You don't have to tiptoe or turn into a ninja to leave. Turn the lights on so you don't mistakenly leave anything. This attitude is for Tyrone who is firmly in plumber position not someone you're trying to be with. Think Robbin Givens character in Boomerang. She knew Marcus wasn't **** and treated him accordingly. However, he was so sprung he tried to flip the arrangement into something long term and almost (should have) lost the good thing. Don't be like Marcus.
 
afrofaithful said:
So...maybe you can help me out here. I would like to invite over a man friend but I don't want to sound too vulgar. I also want it to be rather obvious so he doesn't want to stay and knows what's up...

:oops:

I know this is lhcf, but I'm sure someone can help lol
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I would suggest going into the situation with walls up and aloof and with a business plan. That way when you kick him out he doesn't suspect he's got the upper hand. Play it like I got work in the morning, if its a weekend thing, say you got church or something that seems important.

Oh I see it didn't work out. Are you dating him already, or is this the first time? I would suggest you treating him like an option if he doesn't get with the program.
 
**SaSSy** said:
I would suggest going into the situation with walls up and aloof and with a business plan. That way when you kick him out he doesn't suspect he's got the upper hand. Play it like I got work in the morning, if its a weekend thing, say you got church or something that seems important.

Oh I see it didn't work out. Are you dating him already, or is this the first time? I would suggest you treating him like an option if he doesn't get with the program.
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I have moved on lol.
 
kimpaur said:
OP, where are you meeting all these professional guys?
Asking for a friend :look:
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Happy hour! I'm usually anti going out during the week, but my friend has been dragging me out, and it's been great. I met a cto the other day too. I didn't even know what that was...chief technology officer. He's black, used to play football, so he's big :look: (bulky I mean lol), he likes nerdy things and said he wants to feed me. As in take me out eat lol...I hope.

I think he's a keeper! :)

Oh eta!

I wear scrubs to work so I obviously change, even though some people are there in scrubs. I usually wear a nice shirt, heels, pants, skirt, light makeup. EVERY guy that I end up talking too has mentioned they like my natural casual look. Some of the girls come dressed like they're on the hunt, too obvious I guess.

Just throwing that out there.
 
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hopeful said:
Don't you dare feel like a man. *** him. He is too slow! You are beautiful with I'm sure a beautiful vagina. With all the men in the world, trust that there is a man who would love to put it down. Move on like the beautiful woman you are and don't say or text another thing to him. And don't waste your time listening to him whine about work. GTFOOHWTBS. Serve me first or get gone fool. You snooze you lose.
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lol LOVE this
 
Have him come over to watch a movie, have some drinks, keep drinking lol, get touchy feely and make it happen. But don't get sloppy drunk...

Or have him come over to fix something or whatever and go from there.
 
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