Interracial relationships

[julzinha]

Yes its something I definitely noticed and I'm happy

But I think it's trending for the wrong reasons. It's almost always a minority with a white person. There are still undertones of white worship which is what bothers me.

That combined with the U.S. preoccupation with using miscegenation as the cure to racism when that has never worked in the history of this planet.

 

[kupenda]

Looks like I'm back in the dating pool. I don't prefer non black men at all. I honestly prefer black guys. I just don't feel that the men I've interacted with are suitable mates. Lemme go update my okcupid...

 

[LavenderMint]

Looks like I'm back in the dating pool. I don't prefer non black men at all. I honestly prefer black guys. I just don't feel that the men I've interacted with are suitable mates. Lemme go update my okcupid...

I never preferred nonblack men either but, the same as you, the ones I met were not suitable mates or straight up disrespectful and not options. That is, when they even paid attention to me.

I met my future hubby on OKC I did not specify a racial preference but only white and Latino men ever contacted or responded to me.

 

[ThirdEyeBeauty]

I prefer black men too but have been approached by men of all races. After some chatting and getting-to-know, they were definitely not suitable mates.

 

[theRaven]

julzinha,

I don't really see it that way, well I guess because a lot of things trend for the wrong reasons. For me when I see commercials with interracial couples its refreshing and quite nice. But of course majority of interracial couples will focus on a minority with a white person, its a majority white country Unless you are in Miami and its usually a minority with another minority.

However I find interracial relationships in advertising ads in magazines, commercials on tv and online, tumblr pages, YouTube couple videos, and of course my college campus

 

[julzinha]

julzinha,

I don't really see it that way, well I guess because a lot of things trend for the wrong reasons. For me when I see commercials with interracial couples its refreshing and quite nice. But of course majority of interracial couples will focus on a minority with a white person, its a majority white country Unless you are in Miami and its usually a minority with another minority.

However I find interracial relationships in advertising ads in magazines, commercials on tv and online, tumblr pages, YouTube couple videos, and of course my college campus

Yes, there are interracial couples, but most people still marry intraracially. And images and marketing are never done solely for positive purposes. It may be refreshing and nice to some, but there are blatant undertones of white worship whether a person is capable of seeing them or not. I've never met a person in an interracial relationship that was not in some way colorstruck or had issues with their own race. Images like these just confirm their bias as well as internalized racism.

But the basis is for Americans to be sold on the notion that multiracial children will end racism when in reality, it's just genetic lynching with the belief that once the population is white enough through miscegenation, racism won't exist, which is bullsh!t.

People should be able to date interracially if they want and I may sound harsh because I do believe in black love especially since that is the basis on continuity of the black population in America.

 

[qchelle]

You've never met a non colorstruck, fine with their race person who dates interracially? Really? You haven't?

 

[kupenda]

You know what I want? An open minded, well rounded, not afraid of his feelings, forward moving black man with a love for goofy black girls (read: ME! I'm the jealous type lol).

ETA: I don't feel I'm asking too much. But if I have to compromise on the dark deliciousness that is my own kind, I will in order to get the rest.

 

[julzinha]

You've never met a non colorstruck, fine with their race person who dates interracially? Really? You haven't?

Very rarely, but then you catch them saying some very suspect and colorstruck things. I'm not opposed to interracial relationships, but I feel as though black people haven't had enough time to cherish each other and their blackness. So interracial relationships for some is more of a cop out for being colorstruck and worshiping whiteness or the other. Then using the guise love has no color to sleep at night or confronting their internalized white supremacy labels you a hater or anti-progress.

 

[ThirdEyeBeauty]

You've never met a non colorstruck, fine with their race person who dates interracially? Really? You haven't?

Very rarely, but then you catch them saying some very suspect and colorstruck things. I'm not opposed to interracial relationships, but I feel as though black people haven't had enough time to cherish each other and their blackness. So interracial relationships for some is more of a cop out for being colorstruck and worshiping whiteness or the other. Then using the guise love has no color to sleep at night or confronting their internalized white supremacy labels you a hater or anti-progress.

I came to say the same thing in your first sentence. It has been rare to meet such a person. Just when you think you have, you talk more with them and they end up saying something that sounds like white worshiping (I like that description) and notice they have a little bit poor self esteem for their own color. That's when I have to cut the conversation short and make an excuse to leave.

 

[bubbles12345]

What about color struck blacks who date/marry blacks who are only on the lighter end of the spectrum? Have you ever met those before?

 

[julzinha]

What about color struck blacks who date/marry blacks who are only on the lighter end of the spectrum? Have you ever met those before?

You mean many black men. Yes, for them it's more about dating/marrying black "enough" so their mother won't kill them or their blackness won't be questioned. I hate their colorstruckness.

I edited.

 

[ThirdEyeBeauty]

What about color struck blacks who date/marry blacks who are only on the lighter end of the spectrum? Have you ever met those before?

Of course. Same response. Let's be real. They are just as bad. I would hate to be that other person.

 

[theRaven]

julzinha,

Its advertising so just like any other propaganda its pushing for someone else ideals, beliefs, and perspective. It can both positive and or negative and or neutral. Unless we are focusing on film and television I have yet to come across any negative ads or undertones of white worship. But I have seen some YouTube videos where I question stuff but... that's about it.

For the most part almost all ethnic groups throughout history date within their group with a small percentage dating outsiders. However conquered peoples have dated outsiders to assimilate, I won't deny that.

I have met way too many Black people not in interracial relationships who are color struck and make stupid assertions relating to a racial hierarchy. Soooo Black women and men dating interracially with self esteem issues relating to their race is honestly the least of my concerns in this context.

I am of the belief that I have high self esteem and am not color struck,but if others wish too assume I can not change that. I am not on the "Black Love Only" train so I guess I see this very differently.

 

[bubbles12345]

You mean most black men. Yes, for them it's more about dating/marrying black "enough" so their mother won't kill them or their blackness won't be questioned. I hate them equally as much.

If that's how you feel, then how is the black love agenda and preservation of the black race/features going to occur if you think most black men are only open to black women with lighter features?

 

[DarkJoy]

Here we go again....

*exits and unsubscribes*

 

[CaraWalker]

Here we go again.... *exits and unsubscribes*

i made an early exit. this thread was already gross either way

 

[LavenderMint]

I must have been mistaken. I thought this was a thread about supporting WOC who choose to date interracially, not about micro analyzing or casting aspersions upon the motivations of women who have decided to broaden their options in the dating world. Trust me, we get enough of that irl.

I also don't understand how someone can be so obviously "black love only" but be in a thread about interracial dating/relationship SUPPORT....... without the purpose of stirring stuff up.

Smh.
Peace and hair grease.

 

[DarkJoy]

Has this happened before?

Not in this thread but all threads of IR topics of any kind on LHCF inevitably lead to circular neverending debates on black love vs colorism vs what is really black. No real answers. No resolutions . Its tired.

Plus the women who were home to the thread were getting along nicely for a while. I liked mostly lurking then.

 

[theRaven]

I'm sorry you guys, I didn't mean to go so off topic. Sorry DarkJoy and others. I admit I am bit of talker who sidetracks easily

As soon as my next class ends I'll post again about interracial relationships, since I have some experience in them.

 

[theRaven]

Aww I'm sorry you guys DarkJoy and CARAWaljer I didn't mean to steer this thread soooo off topic. I admit I am bit of a talker and I always end up in side conversations. When my next class ends I'll post about my own past interracial relationship and dating experiences and bring this thread back on track.

 

[LavenderMint]

Mocha126, I'm fairly sure it wasn't you.

 

[ForestRose]

Does anyone know why somebody would refuse to date their own race? I feel like we live in such an accepting society that people still avoid or don't like asking this question. Has anyone had an experience with white men who only date black women? They usually say that your future relationships have something to do with the relationship with your parents. This kind of makes me cringe though because I think I have a thing for older men and my relationship with my dad... well its a long story..
Makes me feel like I'm a statistic for daddy issues in a way :/.
I'm still young and new to relationships. Its kinda frustrating because I'm pretty educated about most things but I feel so naive about relationships.

Sorry if I'm asking too many questions. Ive noticed that my attraction has recently started to gravitate towards older white men as I have feelings for one who I don't think, really has any for me other than "fun". Is it normal for preferences to change like this?

 

[BGT]

I have a black soror who lives in Houston and calls black men n*ggerdoodles and says only 3% of them are decent. I don't know what happened for her to have that opinion but she only dates Latinos.

 

[julzinha]

I have a black soror who lives in Houston and calls black men n*ggerdoodles and says only 3% of them are decent. I don't know what happened for her to have that opinion but she only dates Latinos.

That is sad, not only for her but her future children, they will grow up to most likely hate black people. What happened in her past?

 

[qchelle]

You mean most black men. Yes, for them it's more about dating/marrying black "enough" so their mother won't kill them or their blackness won't be questioned. I hate them equally as much.

Sooooo (by your own admission, no?) you hate most black men? so does that mean you only date black men? Or nah? What? Lol

 

[julzinha]

Sooooo (by your own admission, no?) you hate most black men? so does that mean you only date black men? Or nah? What? Lol

First, don't hate black men, I hate much of the colorstruckness I've seen in my life. As a black woman I cannot hate black men because they are the reason I'm here today. Yes, I do prefer black men. Secondly, I'm not derailing this thread, women in interracial relationships on this board should be able to discuss freely. My commentary was only intended to speak on certain things I've seen not only IRL but this board, YouTube, and film/tv.

 

[ThirdEyeBeauty]

Does anyone know why somebody would refuse to date their own race? I feel like we live in such an accepting society that people still avoid or don't like asking this question. Has anyone had an experience with white men who only date black women? They usually say that your future relationships have something to do with the relationship with your parents. This kind of makes me cringe though because I think I have a thing for older men and my relationship with my dad... well its a long story..
Makes me feel like I'm a statistic for daddy issues in a way :/.
I'm still young and new to relationships. Its kinda frustrating because I'm pretty educated about most things but I feel so naive about relationships.

Sorry if I'm asking too many questions. Ive noticed that my attraction has recently started to gravitate towards older white men as I have feelings for one who I don't think, really has any for me other than "fun". Is it normal for preferences to change like this?

It is normal for preferences to change. Try to understand what caused the change to better learn about yourself.

I know one white man in real life (that I can recall at this moment) who told me he only dates black women. I asked why and did.not.like.the.answer.

It was something about how free black women were in bed...click...next!

I have had quite a few conversations with black men who usually date white women but found something in me to give it a try. I usually end up in long debates. Each time the men contradicted themselves about why they chose a white woman over black but somehow I'm different. I try to get to the bottom of their thinking and eventually I get to the bad stuff....click...next!

Other race men those conversations did not get to that level of nonsense but maybe it's different for them because some of them don't view the world from a black or white person's perspective so it ends up refreshing. However, still as a date he may say something stupid still...click...next!

 

[greenandchic]

Yes, there are interracial couples, but most people still marry intraracially. And images and marketing are never done solely for positive purposes. It may be refreshing and nice to some, but there are blatant undertones of white worship whether a person is capable of seeing them or not. I've never met a person in an interracial relationship that was not in some way colorstruck or had issues with their own race. Images like these just confirm their bias as well as internalized racism.

But the basis is for Americans to be sold on the notion that multiracial children will end racism when in reality, it's just genetic lynching with the belief that once the population is white enough through miscegenation, racism won't exist, which is bullsh!t.

People should be able to date interracially if they want and I may sound harsh because I do believe in black love especially since that is the basis on continuity of the black population in America.

I too believe in black love and for most of my life, I always thought my future husband and eventually second husband after my divorce was going to be black. I then realized life doesn't always work how we imagined it to be.

There will be no population continuation in my family. All of my (black) siblings and I are not having children. I don't believe I was put on this planet to reproduce.

 

[greenandchic]

]Does anyone know why somebody would refuse to date their own race? [/B]I feel like we live in such an accepting society that people still avoid or don't like asking this question. Has anyone had an experience with white men who only date black women? They usually say that your future relationships have something to do with the relationship with your parents. This kind of makes me cringe though because I think I have a thing for older men and my relationship with my dad... well its a long story..
Makes me feel like I'm a statistic for daddy issues in a way :/.
I'm still young and new to relationships. Its kinda frustrating because I'm pretty educated about most things but I feel so naive about relationships.

Sorry if I'm asking too many questions. Ive noticed that my attraction has recently started to gravitate towards older white men as I have feelings for one who I don't think, really has any for me other than "fun". Is it normal for preferences to change like this?

I've always been cautious when I've heard that. I did talk with one white guy that told me his preference for black women. It was because when he dated his first black girlfriend, he saw racism firsthand. White women gave them, especially his girlfriend dirty looks and he became disgusted with them as a result.

Another guy was raised in primarily black neighborhood and went to black schools. Black is all he knows.

My DH never dated black women exclusively (his ex wife is white) but he always had a preference based on attraction. Never ruled anyone else out but only the beauty of black women makes his heart race.