Interracial relationships

AlexandriaKiera said:
Have you all noticed the sudden increase of interracial relationships in the media lately?

I was watching big hero 6 with my boyfriend Saturday and we both noticed the main characters are Japanese and white. My bf then mentioned that interracial relationships are becoming super common in the media and joked about the fact that we are no longer "special."

Examples: scandal, how to get away with murder, guardians of the Galaxy, big hero 6, empire, and those are only a few.

Have any of you ladies noticed this trend?
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Yes I have noticed the trend. It's nice to see couples that look like us represented in the media. In the words of India Arie "Love has no color. Either you're a hater or a lover". I choose love :)
 
There are a lot of assumptions and judgement in this thread. Without commenting on everything in this thread some of it does make me sad.
But sometimes it really is just who you love.
Sometimes when you let go of all the other baggage and drama that you get externally. You can come to the realization that we are all more similar than we are different.

Yes I'm in an interracial marriage.
My first interracial relationship and attraction.
It's not what I ever thought. But I took a time in my life to disconnect from everyone's expectations of me including my own.

I have now an appreciation and attraction for all men.
And I still have a special place in my heart for black men. I guess you could say they make me weak in the knees. Lol.

But I chose to marry the man I did because he loves me and I love him in a way that no one or nothing can come close to.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
DarkJoy said:
Yea. The trend started taking off in the late 90s very slowly. It didnt all start with relationships but some aa as hero/ines saving white folk (or vice versa) and then they slowly transitioned over to relationships the last 15 yrs or so.
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Whenever I look at movies filmed in the 70's there seemed to be quite a few films with IR.
 
As an observer I am really enjoying this thread. What matters most is finding a good, decent man, a man who loves you, who is loyal, committed, dependable, smart, hard-working, and kind. I really think women should always focus on that first and foremost. Honestly, focussing on looks, race, etc. I believe may be distracting. Not saying that looks, race, height, job title, etc. don't matter, but they may hinder a woman if they are the first weeders. I say focus on character, his goodness, that's where we should all be picky. Then lay in the other particulars. I'm thinking it's like when buying a house. You may focus on it being in a particular neighborhood with a good school district, then you go from there. You don't tell the realtor I want a house that looks like this and it can be in any neighborhood. I hope that makes sense. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I will admit I've always been a little negative about interracial dating for the most part. No good reason really. Mostly my age and prejudices I guess. But I can see one of my daughters marrying a non-black man and I'm becoming more open to that prospect.
 
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CurlyMoo said:
Whenever I look at movies filmed in the 70's there seemed to be quite a few films with IR.
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Correct. A few. They were so taboo back then. But i mean now practically in half the movies and tv theirs somethin ir popping off.

The 90s seemed to try and normalize it in a way and not focus so much on making a spectacle of it like "guess who's coming to dinner" and the like. Though the stereotyping of black vs white "roles" in IRs seems to be worse now vs those 70s flicks. Even more dangerous, they seem to have gotten more subtle.
 
julzinha said:
First, don't hate black men, I hate much of the colorstruckness I've seen in my life. As a black woman I cannot hate black men because they are the reason I'm here today. Yes, I do prefer black men. Secondly, I'm not derailing this thread, women in interracial relationships on this board should be able to discuss freely. My commentary was only intended to speak on certain things I've seen not only IRL but this board, YouTube, and film/tv.
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I think this was meant to be a feel good thread. :look:
 
DarkJoy said:
Correct. A few. They were so taboo back then. But i mean now practically in half the movies and tv theirs somethin ir popping off.

The 90s seemed to try and normalize it in a way and not focus so much on making a spectacle of it like "guess who's coming to dinner" and the like. Though the stereotyping of black vs white "roles" in IRs seems to be worse now vs those 70s flicks. Even more dangerous, they seem to have gotten more subtle.
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They all but disappeared during the 80's.
 
Hmm. Just now reading the last few pages of this thread. Let's keep this pleasant ehh? I don't think anyone here is looking to argue. Yes, some of the opinions and comments are questionable. But that doesn't mean we need a reminder of what black love looks like. People have their preferences



In other news...been talking to two guys online. Thinking of meeting one today. Surprisingly, they're both black. I dont usually hear from interested black males. Unless they send me a message that says something like "wyd baby" or "hey sexy". Ugh
 
You know how everyone has a "type"? Well my type has always been tall, slim and chocolate. Lots of men are attractive, but chocolate men get a double take. Well when I met dh my guard was dow and I wasn't looking at him in a romantic way. He was a really good friend to me. We had a lot in common. I respected him. As time went on I developed deep feelings and though he isn't my "type" I still love him with all of me. I'm just glad I was open minded and mature enough to find love in an unlikely person.

I know that was kinda random, but I just wanted to clear things up. My preference has always been black men, but what you want isn't always what you need.
 
I prefer black men. I have a "must have" list but I don't have a list that says "can't have" white or Asian. I only prefer black men because I'm black but I am not settling if I end up with someone who is not black. He must be a biological man--that is my must have.
 
I don't quite understand the "preference for black men because I'm black ideology," I've aways preferred nonblack men and I more than likely always will. My dating life has not suffered even in the slightest bit and I don't feel like I'm limiting myself in any way, shape, or form. I support all love regardless of the gender, race, religion, or sex of the individual. Thus I've never solely focused on black men.

But with that being said, every now and then a hot black guy catches my eye. I may not prefer black men but I still occasionally find one attractive. My dating life has consisted on 90% white guys, maybe more, but that doesn't mean that I'll accept any ol' white guy. I only date quality guys period.

Everyone has different preferences. I don't believe in being expected to date members of your same race simply because you belong to the same racial group.

Some women kill me with trying to analyze myself and others on their dating preferences. I am my own person and will date accordingly not according to society's expectations.

I can still love who I am AND support the black community without dating black men.
 
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xxlalaxx said:
Does anyone know why somebody would refuse to date their own race? I feel like we live in such an accepting society that people still avoid or don't like asking this question. Has anyone had an experience with white men who only date black women? They usually say that your future relationships have something to do with the relationship with your parents. This kind of makes me cringe though because I think I have a thing for older men and my relationship with my dad... well its a long story..
Makes me feel like I'm a statistic for daddy issues in a way :/.
I'm still young and new to relationships. Its kinda frustrating because I'm pretty educated about most things but I feel so naive about relationships.

Sorry if I'm asking too many questions. Ive noticed that my attraction has recently started to gravitate towards older white men as I have feelings for one who I don't think, really has any for me other than "fun". Is it normal for preferences to change like this?
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I know a couple of people. I know an Asian girl who isn't really into Asian men, I know alot of black guys who don't date black women, and I know one white guy who ONLY dates black women; all of them have different reasons.

I personally WILL date a black guy however it isn't likely. I am mostly into white and Asian men. I've dated one black guy in the past but all of my other dates and relationships have been with white men. I'm simply attracted to white men more often. Nothing more, nothing less. My preferences have changed slightly as time passes. I'm less attracted to Asian guys than I was, but other than that, I've always been into white guys.
 
julzinha said:
Yes, there are interracial couples, but most people still marry intraracially. And images and marketing are never done solely for positive purposes. It may be refreshing and nice to some, but there are blatant undertones of white worship whether a person is capable of seeing them or not. I've never met a person in an interracial relationship that was not in some way colorstruck or had issues with their own race. Images like these just confirm their bias as well as internalized racism.

But the basis is for Americans to be sold on the notion that multiracial children will end racism when in reality, it's just genetic lynching with the belief that once the population is white enough through miscegenation, racism won't exist, which is bullsh!t.

People should be able to date interracially if they want and I may sound harsh because I do believe in black love especially since that is the basis on continuity of the black population in America.
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Excuse me if I am being rude but why are you here? This thread is clearly labeled "interracial relationships" thus it was created for those in support of IR relationship and for women are are either involved in an IR or desire to be in one. There is no need to make such rude comments about the women here that fall into the category of dating interacially. Sorry but there is no direct correlation between colorism, self hate and interracial dating. Please do not try to analyze our reasons for dating out. Not everyone's goal is continuing the "black race" the black race will be just fine. Trust me.

Love is love. So please continue to date whomever your heart desires but please refrain from judging the women here or others in interracial relationships. Thank you.
 
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Prettymetty said:
You know how everyone has a "type"? Well my type has always been tall, slim and chocolate. Lots of men are attractive, but chocolate men get a double take. Well when I met dh my guard was dow and I wasn't looking at him in a romantic way. He was a really good friend to me. We had a lot in common. I respected him. As time went on I developed deep feelings and though he isn't my "type" I still love him with all of me. I'm just glad I was open minded and mature enough to find love in an unlikely person.

I know that was kinda random, but I just wanted to clear things up. My preference has always been black men, but what you want isn't always what you need.
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This I think happens more frequently than people realize. I think white/Hispanic guys are alot more indirect so one day your just friends and over time next thing know you're together.
 
^^^Yes!! I'm cracking up, because he just ramdomly started introducing me to his family and friends as his "girlfriend". I thought we were just best friends that kissed and stuff :blush: :lol:
 
I see some of you are apologizing and placating the pro-Black couple lovers.
You don't have to apologize for wanting non-Black men.

People will just have to suck it up
and turn their head or exit this thread if they don't like it.

I don't feel the need to start with talking about how I love the brothers so that I can then talk about men of other races. :look:
 
Let's start something new! I've been seeing a question of the week in quite a few threads...

QOTW: How did you meet your current crush/So?

I met my sweetie at my old job. Since then we have worked together at 2 other companies. I guess we just have good chemistry everywhere lol.
 
ThirdEyeBeauty greenandchic AlexandriaKiera

Hi sorry for the late reply. I wanted to take some time out to reply properly.

I asked him 2 or 3 times and he's always come back with a straight normal answer. Like the way anyone would reply if you asked them why they are attracted to blondes or larger women or their own race. I did wonder when he spoke negatively about white women but I think that's a whole different ball game and I don't entertain that sort of stuff so he hasn't done it recently. Not when we talk anyway.

But I just find it so weird. I've found men of all races attractive (mainly black though) but never older and specifically white men.
This is my first sexual relationship so I'm still learning I guess.
I'd say so much more if I could go anon lol.

Thanks for the replies everyone. I'll be lurking around this thread :)
 
Soooo.... Here's how I met my love muffin :)
My current bf and I met 3.5 years ago in anatomy class. He initially noticed me in class's and we worked together brieftly during 1 class period but that was about it. It wasnt until I went missing for 3 weeks that he really noticed me. He even sent me a text inviting me to s study group for the final but little did he know, I had already went home for the semester due to being sexually assualted on campus.

1 year later we had two other courses together, genetics and microbiology. He spots me in class, asks me to go to the library to study with him. he then smiles at me with his gorgeous sparking Green eyes and asks for my number.

We meet at the library that weekend and he shows up with absolutely nothing. He requests that I teach him, claims to know absolutely nothing, and PRETENDED to need my help. We later ended up talking and getting to know each other for 40 minutes before the library closed and we had amazing chemistry. I told him that he had an amazing aura and I can tell that he is secretly a great guy even though his gave off a jerk vibe. So the test came, he scores an A, I score a C+, he admits to pulling at Cady from means girls and pretending to be dumb and he smiled at me and asked me on a date.

We dated seriously for 4 months after that, and he asked me to be his gf the following Valentine's day while standing on one knee with a ring pop. It's been 2.5 years and our relationship is still going strong.

He was there for me during my worst and while I wae still healing and he continues to be there for me now. We graduate this may but we are still going to make things work temporarily long distance while he does Med school interviews and biochemical research and while I pursue a nursing career a 21 hour drive away. We will be long distance for a little less than 2 years but we both intend to make it work. He's said more than once that he wishes to marry me in the future but for now we must both pursue our dreams so that we can build an amazing future.

He's definitely become my best friend and we spend every single day together. Over time he becomes more and more loving and he honestly perfect for me and such a great catch.
He's super cute, tall, extremely intelligent, seemingly normal but quirky and nerdy on the inside lol! He also supports himself, comes from a great family, is incredibly ambitious, has his own apartment, car, no children, and is super faithful to me. :)

It's great that I was able to get an education, and find a potential husband all at one time because I know that a guy like him would be SUPER taken later on in life lol
 
I went through and "liked" a bunch of guys profiles on okc. I'm such a nerd. I haven't the slightest idea what to say to start up a conversation, so I just like their profiles and cross my fingers. I gotta come up with something to say. I hate this waiting game
 
I have a sushi date with a white guy on Friday. I'm not a stranger to IRR. My first ever date was with a white guy and my ex is white/Asian.
 
kupenda said:
I went through and "liked" a bunch of guys profiles on okc. I'm such a nerd. I haven't the slightest idea what to say to start up a conversation, so I just like their profiles and cross my fingers. I gotta come up with something to say. I hate this waiting game
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I'm no pro at online dating but why don't you simply say hello or that you found them pretty cute. What do you have to lose? It's not like you know them personally.
 
Had a date yesterday. It went well. We met at pentagon city (I was running errands, he tagged along) and then to happy hour afterwards. he was such a gentleman it made me feel like a little girl. Then we stopped at his friends house for drinks. I stuck to iced coffee. He's from the islands. Not interracial obviously, but I like you guys, so I figured where else!
 
i'm in my first IR relationship. i've dated interracially, with all my exSOs being black (or half black/half white). i only began dating asians about a year or so before meeting my current SO (who is asian).

we've been together for over a year & a half and met online.
 
I like the flow.

I've dated my share of WM in the past, but they weren't comfortable enough around BW if that makes sense. It got tedious being "The first black girlfriend". I wanted a deeper love, so I tried my hardest to make it work with a BM who was all wrong...

My new guy has dated and loves BW but he's not wiggerish (yasss lawd yasss) lol. He's happy I'm not hood and I'm happy he's not looking/acting like Riff-raff. I sound so awful I know, lol.

He has a awesome country/manly laugh that makes me melt. It's been a month, however I'll be honest I'm not interested in anyone else (that advice you know no eggs in one basket until it's locked) so we're exclusive. He's been fighting for main boo spot since day one so... I gave in. I've never felt so secure and I'm pushing 30 so maybe this could be it? I could see myself having his kids.
 
ScorpioLove said:
This I think happens more frequently than people realize. I think white/Hispanic guys are alot more indirect so one day your just friends and over time next thing know you're together.
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Very true.

I'm married to a "White Hispanic" man. I had dated interracially before so it was no biggie (probably about 1/2 of exes were black and the other 1/2 were "other").
He loves me. I love him. Our families love us. We have happy, healthy kids. There's not much more that I can ask for.

We met in college in Microbiology lab. Started off as study partners and the next thing I knew we were living together and engaged. :lol:
14 years later, we're still going strong. :yep:
 
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