If his ONLY problem was his weight would you go for it?

[ElegantPearl17]

I am not really attracted to overweight, fat, obese men; however, if I found someone who I really liked that possessed all the other qualities I wanted in a FH, then yes I would give it a chance to see where it would go. If some time had passed and I could not get over the weight issue then yes I would not pursue the relationship any further. Sometimes, the internal qualities of a person will out weigh physical qualites.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I don't know ... probably not. I mean I'm overweight (not obese) but if there is no physical attraction at all? How is that going to work? And secondly, it would be a real tease to find someone who is perfect, only to realize he could have serious health problems now or down the road. What's the point of getting serious about someone who gonna have a stroke trying to walk across the street?

 

[Syrah]

Ha, you laugh but I am serious. If a man was so big he couldn't even see his own d!ck... Come on, now, Mischka! You don't want it.

My DAD calls that a "dickydoo" - "his belly hangs lower than his dick-i-do" (from an Eddie Murphy Skit).

 

[Elnahna]

Being obese is a big turn off for me. I couldn't imagine being intimate with him without resenting his obvious restrictions and hard breathing.

 

[ebonylocs]

Big guys do find women. Most men in the U.S. are fat, and I bet most of the men in relationships are fat, too. So the same does apply to them. Just because an individual here says they won't doesn't mean these men aren't finding women.

Of course not. I realise that. I was talking about the contradictory opinions on this board not what happens in real life. You have to admit it's kind of jarring to see posters in one thread saying that a fat woman should just have confidence and she will be fighting the men off, and posters in another thread universally stating that they wouldn't be with a fat guy.

Besides, OP described his weight as "makes you say 'ew'" when you see him. That weight will be different for everyone, so I guess that if a girl is dating a fat guy, he's usually not so fat to her that she feels repulsed. I can deal with a few extra pounds, but I can't be grossed out when I see him naked.

I was aware in my post that I was glancing over some nuances, however the point still remains that this thread shows that if you are overweight or obese, you will be just "Ew!" to a good number of people. Some posters were saying they just don't do fat, full stop.

 

[lux10023]

ive dated a heavy hitter in my hey day...his pockets were heavy and he was heavy and handsome...he wasnt sloppy..and carried it well... and made sure everything else about him was meticulous...so it worked...

eta--- i ran into him the other day and he had "the surgery"...his appeal to me was totally different because he just looked regular so to speak..he even mentioned that he was more popular with the women when he was bigger vs now at his healthy weight...but did the surgery so he could change his lifestyle and be healthy...

 

[Oasis]

Of course not. I realise that. I was talking about the contradictory opinions on this board not what happens in real life. You have to admit it's kind of jarring to see posters in one thread saying that a fat woman should just have confidence and she will be fighting the men off, and posters in another thread universally stating that they wouldn't be with a fat guy.

i never posted in that thread but i will admit i'm a hypocrite. i have no problem with fat women, find many of them beautiful. but fat men? fatness, for me, connotes femininity and because of that i typically don't view fat men as ''real'' men.erplexed

i really wish i could say what i want without guaranteeing myself a spot in hell but that might be enough.

 

[tocktick]

No, I would not. I've met those nice guys that I didn't find attractive and tried to look past it. I couldn't do it because the attraction wouldn't grow/develop. That makes him no more than a friend and I'd rather not lead someone on.

Whether it's shallow or an acceptable criteria, physical attraction and compatibility go hand in hand with believing a guy is a match for me.

 

[Windsy]

Double Standard like a mugg up in this piece:

Kumbaya for the fat chicks but hell-2-the-no for the fat guys.

I wonder if guys sing this tune about their fat homies but hell-2-the-no for the fat gals.

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

Double Standard like a mugg up in this piece:

Kumbaya for the fat chicks but hell-2-the-no for the fat guys.

I wonder if guys sing this tune about their fat homies but hell-2-the-no for the fat gals.

Well there are some women out there who like fat men......

we don't have to sleep with, nor try to build a life with an overweight woman. So its different. People should try to be healthy period.

 

[Windsy]

Well there are some women out there who like fat men......

we don't have to sleep with, nor try to build a life with an overweight woman. So its different. People should try to be healthy period.

Oh......so its the coloring

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

Oh......so its the coloring

That has a lot to do with it!!!

 

[carcajada]

You look at him and think "ew" overweight. But he's still perfect for you!

If he is overweight then he is not perfect for me. A girl can only hump fat rolls for so long... *shrug*

 

[InchHighPrivateEye]

How is he perfect in other ways? I need a pro vs. con list up in here

 

[jennboo]

Nope, not happening.

I have never in my life beeen attracted to an overweight man. Never.

Like, these men arent huge, but...i don't even like Bobby Valentino or "The Dream" body types on men poooooo yecccck.

Imma just say it. If i were a man there would be no way in hell i'd mess with a big chick.

 

[mischka]

How is he perfect in other ways. I need a pro's vs. con list up in here

Hmmmm... well you think his face is gorgeous (despite the fat)
He is richie rich rich
He works in your preferred profession for a husband
He's over 6'0 tall (I know that's a nonnegotiable for some )
He is so smart/stupid (whatever you're into )
His personality is exactly what you find most appealing and enduring in a partner
He gives fantastic
I would say he has a big dong but I think while the other things could all realistically be true that probably wouldn't be a physical likelihood but it in itself isn't a problem

Idk it's make believe he's perfect in every way you need a partner to be perfect

 

[MD_Lady]

Of course not. I realise that. I was talking about the contradictory opinions on this board not what happens in real life. You have to admit it's kind of jarring to see posters in one thread saying that a fat woman should just have confidence and she will be fighting the men off, and posters in another thread universally stating that they wouldn't be with a fat guy...

I think it's good to point out the fallacy of thinking that all a woman has to do be is "cute" and men will start falling from the sky (because that is CLEARLY not true), but I think people are overselling the confidence argument. Let's look at that from a different way- If a short man (or a man who didn't have the "right" income, level of education, "length", etc...) was trying get the attention of a woman who wanted NOTHING to do with short men, would it matter how confident he was or how many other positive qualities he felt he had to offer? Of course not. Deal breakers are a reality of dating and we ALL have them.

 

[AlekHidell]

———

 

[MissSenegal]

No. I can't even entertain it. This fat guy always comes to my job flirting with me trying to get my phone number. All I ever notice are his breast moving and his nipples are always hard. I like to exercise and I eat clean 85% of the time I need anyone I'm dating to do the same.

 

[ebonylocs]

i never posted in that thread but i will admit i'm a hypocrite. i have no problem with fat women, find many of them beautiful. but fat men? fatness, for me, connotes femininity and because of that i typically don't view fat men as ''real'' men.

You know, I actually can see that argument. In fact I considered it yesterday as one of the possible reasons for the apparent double standard. It is a fact that the female body is biologically programmed to store more fat than men's, and therefore plumpness, roundedness, etc. is considered more feminine than masculine.

 

[anon123]

Of course not. I realise that. I was talking about the contradictory opinions on this board not what happens in real life. You have to admit it's kind of jarring to see posters in one thread saying that a fat woman should just have confidence and she will be fighting the men off, and posters in another thread universally stating that they wouldn't be with a fat guy.

I was aware in my post that I was glancing over some nuances, however the point still remains that this thread shows that if you are overweight or obese, you will be just "Ew!" to a good number of people. Some posters were saying they just don't do fat, full stop.

There's nothing hypocritical about it. You can both believe that an overweight woman can have a partner and loving relationship and yet not want to date a fat man. You can believe something is possible, or even likely, without committing yourself to doing it.

Take this board. Lots of women here say they only want a guy with a college degree. Does that mean that these women believe men without college degrees won't be able to find a partner? You can absolutely believe a person without a degree can find love and a wonderful partner; in fact, you've seen it many times. Doesn't mean you'd do it. And that's not hypocritical.

 

[Ediese]

Absolutely not. I tried that before. He was such a great guy, and I thought that as time went by, I would start to care more. I tried so hard, but I couldn't. lol Everyone was so pissed when I broke things off.

I just couldn't do it anymore. I was so grossed out by his huge stomach stifling me in bed, and his hygiene issues due to the weight. I tried to stick it out, and asked him to work out with me. It wasn't until I broke things off that he saw how serious I was and agreed to go to the gym. It was too late by then.

I saw him the other day while I was riding the shuttle at work. I'm so happy I dodged a bullet. Ewww!!!!

 

[AlekHidell]

No. I can't even entertain it. This fat guy always comes to my job flirting with me trying to get my phone number. All I ever notice are his breast moving and his nipples are always hard. I like to exercise and I eat clean 85% of the time I need anyone I'm dating to do the same.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

Nope. Couldn't do it. Aside from the obvious lack of attraction factor, the thought of coloring with someone so much bigger than me scares me since I'm about as petite as you can get. Being crushed while coloring is not my idea of a 'good' time.

 

[lushcoils]

Um, no, thanks.

 

[Imani]

Ive tried it. Nope. Its not attractive and all that belly slapping against you during coloring is not the hotness.

eta: oh and he had a jumbo crayon and was excellent at coloring and face painting. (I think he knew he was at a disadvantage for being overweight and unattractive so he really put a lot of time into perfecting his coloring game). Still couldn't do it.

 

[mischka]

I guess I'm just lenient on the issue bc I would hope someone would still love me if I got real fat I mean it's a possibility after childbirth

 

[babyu21]

I have a friend who is a nice looking guy and when we hang out I always have a great time BUT his weight is something I just can't get over. I don't mind 25-30 pounds extra but when you get to the point where you can be classified as obese that is an issue. It doesn't help that I am extra petite and only weigh 105 pounds so being with someone that much bigger just can't happen.

Heck I even turned down someone who was in shape but he weighed like 280 all muscle because I am not trying to get crushed during coloring time. I want to be with someone I am comfortable with and I don't want to have to do all the work.

I really wish he would commit to losing the weight because I do enjoy his company and he is one of the few men who makes an effort to always take me someplace nice.

 

[rabs77]

Being overweight is a non negotiable for me. I can't get past the physical- Cant stand soft parts on guy.

 

[LiftedUp]

I don't think that I would go out with him in the first place. Overweight men tend to have a smell that I really cannot stand.