"I think white people have better hair than black hair"
- Thread starter shunemite
- Start date
That's common child behavior. Outside influences usually have the greater impact on children than the household. Telling your child that her hair is beautiful and how gorgeous she is will not blind her to the differences she will see outside the home. Kids can see when someone is beautiful and soft to the eye; they can see when someone has long hair; they can see when someone hair is shiny and silky looking. It is no difference when other children see young black girls with ribbons, bow-bows, barrettes, beads, and pony tail puffs and they probably like it and ask for it. I've seen this happen on more than one occassion.
kblc06
Well-Known Member
You know it’s interestering that you say this because I had this exact upbringing and never had problems with self-acceptance concerning my hair or skin color. From Pre-school to 4th grade, my schools were predominately black . When in 5th grade, I went to an integrated school, I tended to look at white children as more of a curiosity than anything because I had never interacted with them. My aunt and mother (who are grads of HBCUs) would take me to ALL black neighborhoods with homes valued in the millions of dollars in the Jackson, MS area. I never felt as though I couldn't attain such or that success was out of my reach. Honestly, I wasn't very aware of the statistics of the black community because it didn't reflect my reality and still doesn't 
I had a mother and father that were professors and engineers well versed in black history and instilled a sense of history and self-worth in me for as long as I can remember always trying to tell me how beautiful I am and how beautiful my hair is and I STILL came home and wrapped my beige towel around my head saying mommy I want my hair to be like this!begging for a perm.
This is where I'm gonna provide my possibly very revolutionary opinion: I dont think integration at an early age has helped our children on the whole, especially as a minority community. I believe if we had schools where we started our children off with an environment where they had friends that looked like them to relate with and got a serious education on their history in the early years, then they would have the strength of character to be proud, self-confident and make the most of themselves despite being a minority and be prepared to mix with others. I think in our rush to assimilate with larger America, we lost ourselves.
I consistently saw the difference it made with many of my jewish peers, many of them dont go to integrated schools they go to schools where only kids like them attend till junior high or even as late as high school, by the time their interacting with kids from other backgrounds you can't tell those kids nuthin because they've had pride instilled in them, a comprehensive education on their history on their people, they identify and love their heritage and traditions. They're past the point that you can rob them of that..........all I'm sayin, is we need us some a that.
discodumpling
Well-Known Member
This is why my oldest son was sent to an all Black private school. Shout out to St. Peter Claver!
It also helped that I told (& still tell) him and his youngest brother that they are the shiznit. Nothing can ever compare to his beautiful walnut complexion or his nappy hair & for his little brother I play up his features also although not as much as his brother because I get tired of folks telling him how cute he is
It starts at home. My 5 yr old just finished reading a book called "Shades" to me & it tells of all the beautiful shades of Black that we come in. He enjoys the descriptions of our eyes & complexions..."smooth brown of a chocolate bar" " frosty vanilla" "velvety orange of a peach"...etc....
It also helped that I told (& still tell) him and his youngest brother that they are the shiznit. Nothing can ever compare to his beautiful walnut complexion or his nappy hair & for his little brother I play up his features also although not as much as his brother because I get tired of folks telling him how cute he is
It starts at home. My 5 yr old just finished reading a book called "Shades" to me & it tells of all the beautiful shades of Black that we come in. He enjoys the descriptions of our eyes & complexions..."smooth brown of a chocolate bar" " frosty vanilla" "velvety orange of a peach"...etc....
yaya24
❤️ Libra☼Gemini ☾ Sagittarius ⇗
The funny thing is that now a days yt people ain't even worried about our hair like that. We are all self conscience over nothing. I've had SEVERAL white co-workers and friends compliment my hair (when I was NATURAL). They compliment how I can do so many things with my hair and some have even commented that they wish THEIR hair would do that. Even OTHERS see the beauty and versatility of our hair.
Now you know you gotta elaborate on your friend and the show right??
My friend was on the episode:
http://tyrashow.warnerbros.com/2009/10/fat_hateration.php
(she's in the blue shirt- far left)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGfGnZAndsM (yellow/black plaid shirt.. and on the panel with the blue top)
I went to school with her and on her FB page she says that the show was all in good fun.. she is such a nice girl, and it was all staged. --(She and hubby just had first child.. don't make fun)
I don't watch Tyra.
sowhut
Well-Known Member
Yeah Tyra may have very well told those "guests" to say that
http://hellobeautiful.com/your-world/video-wire-actor-claims-tyras-guests-are-fake/
I'm not sure about this site but this was a topic on the entertainment forum a while back and i couldnt find it. I just have my suspicions about Tyra.
http://hellobeautiful.com/your-world/video-wire-actor-claims-tyras-guests-are-fake/
I'm not sure about this site but this was a topic on the entertainment forum a while back and i couldnt find it. I just have my suspicions about Tyra.
Geminigirl
Well-Known Member
I was about to say I understand where she was trying go with the show but as soon as I saw it I was like so FAKE. the lil girl with the hannah montana wig...ehhh get real. I am sure this happens but the show was fake.
I lived in Germany until I was five and then moved to TN where it was mixed but the KKK used to march up and down the streets. I remember putting my moms or any tshirt on my head(the collar around my head) and wishing and wanting my hair to be long and like white people. I remember being very small and Praying to God to have long red hair like Arielle in the Little Mermaid. I got teased but I don't think it had anything to do with my view of myself until I got a little older about 2nd grade. But when I was younger than that it must have been the tv influencing me.
I lived in Germany until I was five and then moved to TN where it was mixed but the KKK used to march up and down the streets. I remember putting my moms or any tshirt on my head(the collar around my head) and wishing and wanting my hair to be long and like white people. I remember being very small and Praying to God to have long red hair like Arielle in the Little Mermaid. I got teased but I don't think it had anything to do with my view of myself until I got a little older about 2nd grade. But when I was younger than that it must have been the tv influencing me.
*Muffin*
New Member
I remember when about a year or two ago, when my brother was 5 or 6, he wished he had straight, blonde hair because he thought that was better. You can't tell him that now! He loves his curly hair. Every one always compliments him on it and tells him how soft and nice it is (white people included). Now he sports his hair with pride, and I never heard him wish for straight hair since. Sadly, it's different with black girls. There's a lot more pressure and stigma about "good" and "bad" hair on them, and often times they're forced into getting relaxers at ridiculously young ages. Hopefully her mother will instill in her to have love for her hair.
Ms_Twana
New Member
Headed to google right now!!!!!
I hope it was acting cuz I DEFINITELY didn't like HER in that episode.
WOW!!!!!
soulie
Well-Known Member
When I was in 2nd or 3rd grade after swimming lessons, I wished to have YT girl's hair. There was nothing of self-hatred in it -- it was just that THEIR hair looked like they hadn't been swimming after it dried, whereas mine didn't look the same as before. I just wanted wash 'n wear hair like my friends had; didn't want to BE YT, didn't resent being black, just knew that I was in for a detangling session that night that my friends wouldn't have to endure.
DaDragonPrincess
Well-Known Member
Our people have been teached to hate our look,hair,skin tones,etc, and I hate to see our people be shame of how their hair look,or their skin tone,etc. Black is beautiful in EVERY shade, and BLACK HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL IN EVERY TEXTURE. Love yourself people.
I watched the youtube clips from the Tyra Bank show. I don't know what is it that could have made anyone cry. That show look like an act and put together. The only thing that seem real was the black lady in the audience who was talking about the history of Good Hair in the black community. It was the lady who was sponsoring her book. I'm starting to think all of tyra shows are acted-out except when she host entertainers, politicians, and celebrities.
Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! I just watched the youtube clips and I can't believe black women are touched by that episode. It looked tooo Fake and rehearsed. Nothing about it seem real, especially when Tyra asked if anyone in the audience is confused of what is going on or what the black ladies were discussing and the white girl asked why they don't wash their hair every day. I'm like...WTF! They weren't discussing washing of hair; they were discussing texture and what is good and what is bad. I had enough. I was like this show is tooooo FAKE. I don't even think that lady put a relaxer in her daughters hair. I think it was conditioner.
It's not getting worse, you're only seeing it now. TV and movies didn't focus on such things in the past. That's the only diff.
IMO, she's screwed.Honestly, Black American has failed it's children.
Nah...don't be so hasty, I think many/most kids grow out of this. It' unrealistic to expect that children will not notice that they are "different" and want to fit in. It' not just limited to Black kids either. With the right parental guidance and some maturity, this too shall pass.
Geminigirl
Well-Known Member
SlantedEyezMiss2003
New Member
Wow....well i personally like African American hair, natural, relaxed, texturize, press, etc.....white women hair looks boring they can't do too much.....I mean if you get cornrows and micro braids, we can keep it in longer, they can't even get micro braids....we can look different every day.....Not trying to be rude, but I love our hair......and I think it's better
MrsHdrLe
Well-Known Member
I know this is a serious topic and I agree with what most of you are saying, but on a lighter note:
I went to a predominately yt school in elementaty and I didn't know or understand how Shannon had short hair (like The Beatles) that would swing and shine. I knew NOTHING of straightening or perms. So one day, my Mom took me in to have my hair done (I was about 4th grade) and I asked for a short hair cut (like Shannon). Why was I upset when I had an afro? I was like, " My hair isn't shiny or bouncy." Then my Mom taught me about being grateful and polite. It wasn't until I was in junior high that I realized that I could have shiny bouncy hair too, if I was willing to kill my own hair for it (which I did, like an idiot!)
That's why I'm so grateful for LHCF and other sites that embrace our natural hair so our little girls won't have to suffer that kind of lunacy.
I went to a predominately yt school in elementaty and I didn't know or understand how Shannon had short hair (like The Beatles) that would swing and shine. I knew NOTHING of straightening or perms. So one day, my Mom took me in to have my hair done (I was about 4th grade) and I asked for a short hair cut (like Shannon). Why was I upset when I had an afro? I was like, " My hair isn't shiny or bouncy." Then my Mom taught me about being grateful and polite. It wasn't until I was in junior high that I realized that I could have shiny bouncy hair too, if I was willing to kill my own hair for it (which I did, like an idiot!)
That's why I'm so grateful for LHCF and other sites that embrace our natural hair so our little girls won't have to suffer that kind of lunacy.
shunemite
New Member
This is why my oldest son was sent to an all Black private school. Shout out to St. Peter Claver!
It also helped that I told (& still tell) him and his youngest brother that they are the shiznit. Nothing can ever compare to his beautiful walnut complexion or his nappy hair & for his little brother I play up his features also although not as much as his brother because I get tired of folks telling him how cute he is
It starts at home. My 5 yr old just finished reading a book called "Shades" to me & it tells of all the beautiful shades of Black that we come in. He enjoys the descriptions of our eyes & complexions..."smooth brown of a chocolate bar" " frosty vanilla" "velvety orange of a peach"...etc....
What state is this?
shunemite
New Member
Putting a relaxer on a 3 year old, who was crying while it burned. That made me cry.
chokolate miss
New Member
I had a mother and father that were professors and engineers well versed in black history and instilled a sense of history and self-worth in me for as long as I can remember always trying to tell me how beautiful I am and how beautiful my hair is and I STILL came home and wrapped my beige towel around my head saying mommy I want my hair to be like this!
This is where I'm gonna provide my possibly very revolutionary opinion: I dont think integration at an early age has helped our children on the whole, especially as a minority community. I believe if we had schools where we started our children off with an environment where they had friends that looked like them to relate with and got a serious education on their history in the early years, then they would have the strength of character to be proud, self-confident and make the most of themselves despite being a minority and be prepared to mix with others. I think in our rush to assimilate with larger America, we lost ourselves.
I consistently saw the difference it made with many of my jewish peers, many of them dont go to integrated schools they go to schools where only kids like them attend till junior high or even as late as high school, by the time their interacting with kids from other backgrounds you can't tell those kids nuthin because they've had pride instilled in them, a comprehensive education on their history on their people, they identify and love their heritage and traditions. They're past the point that you can rob them of that..........all I'm sayin, is we need us some a that.
You are SO on point with this! My younger cousin, who is about age 10 is now natural. Her mom decided to stop relaxing, because she plays sports and natural made more sense (among other reasons
).But she needs a pep talk daily, because almost ALL of her classmates are white. It is tough enough on her being the chocolate gum drop in the building, let alone even standing out among her black peers because of her fro.
She is one of the reasons I went back natural. I felt like I had betrayed her, as I was the only natural head she had to look up to
.
Cisselette
New Member
What you say is entirely true and it's SO sad!!!
I too grew up in Africa and I had the same experience.
There was NOT a single non-black person in my school, 99% of every people I knew and interacted with were black and it didn't make a difference...
As most people there, I still thought kinky hair was unkempt and ugly and we all wanted to have "Ashley Banks" hair
By the time I was 13, I was the ONLY girl in my class that didn't relax.
The pressure to do it was TREMENDOUS. People harassed me and made fun of me on a daily basis.
I BEGGED my mother because going to school was becoming harder and harder. She finally said yes and bought me a relaxer for my 14th birthday...
It's been 11 years now, I'm natural again but I still feel frustated and hurt when I think about it.
So I don't think it has anything to do with black people being the minority but rather the way we see ourselves:
- We are unconsciously taught to HATE our kinky hair from any early age by the fact that most BW we see IRL or on tv relax and / or wear all kinds of fake hair.
-We either still have the slave (dark skin vs light skin / good hair vs bad hair) mentality or the colonized mentality which I think is even worse.
For example, since most of us are black in Africa (of course
) we found ways to divide ourselves even MORE. We actually have a NAME for every shade, every skin tone we are. -Brune or claire: regular light-skinned person whose parents are dark-skin or light-skin
-Métis : Biracial person or child of two biracial people
-Mulâtre : Biracial + black
-Quarteron: Biracial + white
-Octavon: Quarteron + white
-Blanc (white): Octavon+white
-Even the way we are taught in school in Africa is WRONG:
For instance, every time an history teacher talked about an African country in class he or she began with: (insert country name) was discovered in (insert date of discovery) by (insert French, Belgian, English, Portuguese or Spanish explorer name).
That always had me thinking : ok... so what about the history of the people that lived there thousands of years BEFORE the country was discovered by this white dude in the 1400/ 1500's?
Anyway, I think we have a VERY long way to go...
Last edited:
shunemite
New Member
What you say is entirely true and it's SO sad!!!
I too grew up in Africa and I had the same experience.
There was NOT a single non-black person in my school, 99% of every people I knew and interacted with were black and it didn't make a difference...
As most people there, I still thought kinky hair was unkempt and ugly and we all wanted to have "Ashley Banks" hair
By the time I was 13, I was the ONLY girl in my class that didn't relax.
The pressure to do it was TREMENDOUS. People harassed me and made fun of me on a daily basis.
I BEGGED my mother because going to school was becoming harder and harder. She finally said yes and bought me a relaxer for my 14th birthday...
It's been 11 years now, I'm natural again but I still feel frustated and hurt when I think about it.
So I don't think it has anything to do with black people being the minority but rather the way we see ourselves:
- We are unconsciously taught to HATE our kinky hair from any early age by the fact that most BW we see IRL or on tv relax and / or wear all kinds of fake hair.
-We either still have the slave (dark skin vs light skin / good hair vs bad hair) mentality or the colonized mentality which I think is even worse.
For example, since most of us are black in Africa (of course
-Brune or claire: regular light-skinned person whose parents are dark-skin or light-skin
-Métis : Biracial person or child of two biracial people
-Mulâtre : Biracial + black
-Quarteron: Biracial + white
-Octavon: Quarteron + white
-Blanc (white): Octavon+white
-Even the way we are taught in school in Africa is WRONG:
For instance, every time an history teacher talked about an African country in class he or she began with: (insert country name) was discovered in (insert date of discovery) by (insert French, Belgian, English, Portuguese or Spanish explorer name).
That always had me thinking : ok... so what about the history of the people that lived there thousands of years BEFORE the country was discovered by this white dude in the 1400/ 1500's?
Anyway, I think we have a VERY long way to go...
I LOVE this post! It takes me back, waaaay back, because I do remember reading about all the lakes and rivers "discovered" by European travelers in history and geography books. Don't even get me started on how in my country that's 99% black, they only import white dolls for children to play with. You guys have so many names for mixed people
we have the "Mulatto" name and that's about it. Some women just go ahead and bleach their skin to get the "Mulatto" look, but the ears and the feet and hands give them away 'cause they stay dark.pisceschica
Well-Known Member
That is what happens when you allow your child to idolize and look up to people/beauty standards they will never be able to achieve.
Cisselette
New Member
I know, right?!! I had blond, brunette, red head, teenager, mermaid, pocahontas barbies but never even SAW a black one!!
discodumpling
Well-Known Member
discodumpling
Well-Known Member
What you say is entirely true and it's SO sad!!!
I too grew up in Africa and I had the same experience.
There was NOT a single non-black person in my school, 99% of every people I knew and interacted with were black and it didn't make a difference...
As most people there, I still thought kinky hair was unkempt and ugly and we all wanted to have "Ashley Banks" hair
By the time I was 13, I was the ONLY girl in my class that didn't relax.
The pressure to do it was TREMENDOUS. People harassed me and made fun of me on a daily basis.
I BEGGED my mother because going to school was becoming harder and harder. She finally said yes and bought me a relaxer for my 14th birthday...
It's been 11 years now, I'm natural again but I still feel frustated and hurt when I think about it.
So I don't think it has anything to do with black people being the minority but rather the way we see ourselves:
- We are unconsciously taught to HATE our kinky hair from any early age by the fact that most BW we see IRL or on tv relax and / or wear all kinds of fake hair.
-We either still have the slave (dark skin vs light skin / good hair vs bad hair) mentality or the colonized mentality which I think is even worse.
For example, since most of us are black in Africa (of course
-Brune or claire: regular light-skinned person whose parents are dark-skin or light-skin
-Métis : Biracial person or child of two biracial people
-Mulâtre : Biracial + black
-Quarteron: Biracial + white
-Octavon: Quarteron + white
-Blanc (white): Octavon+white
-Even the way we are taught in school in Africa is WRONG:
For instance, every time an history teacher talked about an African country in class he or she began with: (insert country name) was discovered in (insert date of discovery) by (insert French, Belgian, English, Portuguese or Spanish explorer name).
That always had me thinking : ok... so what about the history of the people that lived there thousands of years BEFORE the country was discovered by this white dude in the 1400/ 1500's?
Anyway, I think we have a VERY long way to go...
WOW! That's a shame I would have thought there would be more African Pride on the continent. Being born on a small island in the West Indies I
was taught that Christopher Columbus DID NOT discover us! This is why I laugh about the columbus Day holiday...how can one discover something that existed for millenia before he was even thought of??
I've always been cognizant of the Indians (Carib, Arawack & Taino) that Columbus FOUND already living and thriving there. In Antigua we still refer to the island by it's Indian name W'adadli!
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