What kids think about hair and our techniques

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

My daughter is biracial- half black, half mexican. She has this curly/wavy hair that is soooooooo beautiful. Sadly, I'm still trying to break her from the idea that straight hair (and blond) is the ideal. She is slowly coming around to accepting her beautiful curls. But I still notice how sometimes her favorite characters on a movie or show she watches are the blond, straight haired ones.

Yesterday we were at the beauty supply by the wig section and something made her bring up my best friends hair. She said it is "curly, prick-ely, and looks dry." I was like wtf..........? I said, "why do you say that?" And she said "because it is." The she picks up some hairpiece that is super dry and says "see, Mom, this is how her hair feels" And it was dry! I was just speechless...

One night, we were having a "sleepover" (the kids slept in my room with DH and me), and she noticed I had baggied my hair and she asked why, b/c it's "weird". I explained to her that my hair will stay soft when I wake up in the morning b/c I put cond in it. She still had this erplexed look on her face.

Does anyone else have any stories to share about kids' opinions/attitudes toward hair and the techniques we use?

 

[lilsparkle825]

i was persuaded into getting a relaxer in middle school because my cousin who is 2 years older had one (and i went to a predominantly white school up until 9th grade); my mom gave in to my begging and i got one. then my little sister came along and the same thing happened, she begged for a relaxer...except all her hair broke off in the back. i think this traumatized her to the point where all she wanted to do was wear braids, and she has transitioned back to natural...she is 13 now and will tell anyone who wants to listen that she doesn't want heat or chemicals of ANY kind on her hair, even though she is a 4b and my cousins are still trying to tell her that her hair is too "nappy" for her to be natural. it disgusts me but at least she is strong willed and can ignore them.

my two stepsisters are 8 and 6...the 8 year old has had a relaxer since she turned 6 and now she is at the point where she does her own hair (partly because her mother, aunt, and grandmother don't bother to do it, but that is another story for the OT forum...) and all she wants to do is wear it DOWN. i mean even when it gets braided or plaited, she takes them out when no one is around and just wears it sticking straight out or in a raggedy ponytail. it was long, like maybe APL, but it is breaking off and is really uneven. i actually woke up one morning and saw her with a big glob of something greasy looking in the front of her hair, and she was trying to spread it out with a small tooth comb and plastic bristled brush!!! when i asked her what she had in her hair, she lied and told me water...i know it wasnt grease cause we dont have grease in our house so i still dont know what it was. i tried to help her out by giving her a bigger comb - but i didnt do her hair because her mother doesn't want me or my mother putting our hands on my stepsisters' hair. another long story. her younger sister is still natural, and she is a 4b so i expect that they will relax her hair soon, but her hair is SO SOFT that it can be styled using only water and detangler. it is really beautiful and i think she is going to lose it, but she has the cutest puffs. i hope that they dont relax her hair and if they do then i hope she takes good care of it. they have both told me that they like my hair, and even the 8 year old stuck around when i put in my 13 y/o sis's kinky twists, i think because she really wanted me to do hers like that. you know how kids like to imitate the older siblings. well most of the time.

wow that was long.

 

[LilBrownied]

A couple of my little cousins embrace straight-blond hair more than anything. I was drawing with one, who is about 7 years old. We were drawing princesses or something. This was about 5 months after my BC. I drew an afro on one of the princesses and she was like, "No no no!" And drew a long straight mane on top of it.

My older cousin has thick THICK curly, long and beautiful natural hair. She couldn't handle it. I think she's 12 now and has a perm. I tried to tell her to be patient with her hair and she wasn't hearin it. It's wasn't only an issue of detangling, she watched Disney channel all day and liked straight hair.

Kids are pretty easily manipulated.... when I'm a mother I'll accept my daughter might prefer another hair type than her own, but no matter what -- her own head is going to remain healthy and natural until she's old enough to really understand things.

I haven't really had a child comment on my hair techniques though...but they will...

 

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

It's wasn't only an issue of detangling, she watched Disney channel all day and liked straight hair.

That is my daughter. Well all she is allowed to watch is the Disney channel. And all she sees is Hannah Montana and Ashley Tisdale. Never mind Raven or even Vanessa Hudgens. I don't mind her preference of another hair type but I think she needs to accept her own.

 

[cocoberry10]

OP, you need to start exposing her to more beautiful Black women with various hair types. This is the age to do it. You don't want her to become a teenager and hate her hair!

 

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

That is exactly what I've been doing! And I always get her books so she can know about her culure and heritage (both Black and Mexican).

OP, you need to start exposing her to more beautiful Black women with various hair types. This is the age to do it. You don't want her to become a teenager and hate her hair!