I like him alot, BUT....

[mz tracy 25]

Okay, this is my situation. I met this guy about two months ago. He's really nice, respectful, honest,gives me mucho attention (im an attention whore), cooks for me, and loves spending time with me. Plus, he's hella sexy. BUT..he has no job. He says he's working on it, but I have the feeling no matter what kind of job he finds, if we do get married (hey, im always thinking long-term) I would have to be the breadwinner because he doesnt have his high school diploma or GED, and he has a record.I have no problem working and contributing, but I don't want to be the major contributor. Is it wrong to wanna be taken care of ??? Love or money? What do ya'll think? Oh yea..he doesn't have a car either. But he has no kids. Something else that has me a lil worried is he gets an SSI check. And I think that's why he isnt in a rush to find a job. He has his own place and all his bills are taken care of, he just has no extra cash. For every positive, there seems to be a negative. I'm confused. HELP! lol

After reading this he really sounds like a bum. LOL. But you know how it is when ur trying to view a situation while ur in it. Some feedback would be great!

 

[NYAmicas]

He sounds nice but I have a serious screw face. This seems like one of those situations that turns pretty bad after the rigamorale sets in. No car? No job? Um, SSI check for what? One day you may be sitting there looking at his butt wondering, "what have you done for me lately?! Heck, yourself?" If you're completely and utterly bored enjoy his time and meals (since he cooks, hope he's buying the food btw) but I'd be dating others til he makes gains towards getting out of his situation.

Good luck!

 

[runwaydream]

^^^ i agree.. i mean sure what he's doing for you is great and all. but i have a feeling that he may be doing all this to hook you since he knows he ain't got nothin. then when he sees you're in love w. him he'll stop then you'll really be screwed b/c you love a no count, good for nothin man and its all your fault b/c you knew what he was about b4 ya'll even got together.

since you say you like thinking ahead. think of how badly this can end for you. what happens if you get yourself pregnant? what can this man possibly do for you and your baby?

why doesn't he have his highschool diploma? is he planning on getting one? what was he in jail for? and i hope you got him tested cause you kno how those jail birds get down..

anyway this just seems like an all around bad situation that you should prob get yourself out of b4 you call yourself "fallin in love" or worse...pregnant

 

[Bunny77]

This shouldn't even be a conflict and I have no idea what you would be confused about.

No job, no high school diploma and no GED and a jail record? Are you serious? You're seriously considering a man like this? Why????

Hell no. Move on.

 

[FlowerHair]

^^^^ yeah, I stopped reading after "no job" and "record".

You can do much better! And it's not wrong at all to want to be taken care of.

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

Do you know why hes receiving a check? If its doesnt seem obvious it could be a mental problem. Be careful, this guy doesnt sound right. What was he in jail for? And why doesnt he have a car? If youre even considering a continuation of the relationship you should seriously find out what he was in jail for and why hes receiving the check! Could be something youd want to know sooner than later. Im actually a bit worried for you.....

 

[TayMac]

Pros:
Treats me well
childless

Cons:
-No job
-No high school diploma/equivalent
-No car
-Record

This is too easy. NEXT!

Girl of course he loves doting on you and spending time with you. All he has IS time. What else is he gonna do with no job? How old is he?

 

[rainbowknots]

Do not pass go. Do not collect $200 dollars

-I know you guys are probably like right now. But he has no job, no education, no car AND he's been in What can you possibly see in him?

-Like another person said, you don't want to have a with someone who can do nothing for you or that child. Eventually you'll be and he'll be You'll be and he'll be :droolings. The will be and he'll be . And as time goes by, you both will be

-You need to hightail it out of there lady

But seriously, I think you would regret investing a lot of time in this man in the long run, especially if you're working. I don't know about you, but there's no way in H E double hockey sticks, I'm going to sit there and let a man lay around and do nothing while I bring home the bacon

Sorry for all the smiley's I'm just really bored

 

[awhyley]

^^^ I love the use of all those d@mn smiley's
They pretty much said EVERYTHING that I was thinking. Very creative Blaqphoenix!

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

i hate to sound repetative, but imma tell u like i tell my chirren...

everything in my house goes to work..da washer, da dryer, da stove, phone, fridge, hot water heater, everything up in hea gotta job to do and so do you.......don't get it twisted....

 

[LisaLisa1908]

He must have some super good crayon. Super.

 

[Bachelorette]

Why was he in jail

why doesn't he have his highschool diploma? is he planning on getting one? what was he in jail for? and i hope you got him tested cause you kno how those jail birds get down..

anyway this just seems like an all around bad situation that you should prob get yourself out of b4 you call yourself "fallin in love" or worse...pregnant

Exactly

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

LOL! The responses on here...

Yeah OP you can do soo much better. NO job?? WHAT??

He could get a job at TARGET for all I care... at least that's a JOB!!

A man NOT having a job is a serious RED FLAG for me because MOST men define themselves by: 1) what they do 2) who they are and 3) what they have to show for what they do (ie. money)

So the fact that he has no job, and doesn't even seem to be working TOWARDS getting a job or some additional education really sets off my bells and whistles in my head.

A man should be able to provide for his woman. Plain and simple. He doesn't have to be "rich", but he should sure enough be able to provide SOMETHING. End of story.

 

[LyCall]

I was in the same situation when I met my SO of 2 years. He now has a career, car, we live together and he pays the rent.
I thought the same as many of these women and so did my girlfriends, especially when he told me he already had a child, I thought to run lol, but I knew in my heart that I loved him for him, and I could hear his determination for what he wanted for himself, and not just saying stuff to keep me on side, and now we have made a life together.
So I guess I am saying do what your heart tells you to.

PS he still treats me like we first met, I couldnt ask for more ;o)

 

[Maynard]

I'm mad that you placed the fact that he gets an SSI check so low on the totem pole. No job, no education..damn men have it so easy these days...

You need to look at yourself and figure out why on earth you would be attracted to someone who has NOTHING to offer you, except bubblegum and pocket-lint (Yes, I did steal that from Miss Scarlett).

 

[Xavier]

I was in the same situation when I met my SO of 2 years. He now has a career, car, we live together and he pays the rent.
I thought the same as many of these women and so did my girlfriends, especially when he told me he already had a child, I thought to run lol, but I knew in my heart that I loved him for him, and I could hear his determination for what he wanted for himself, and not just saying stuff to keep me on side, and now we have made a life together.
So I guess I am saying do what your heart tells you to.

PS he still treats me like we first met, I couldnt ask for more ;o)

This remains me of the movie, He's Just Not That Into You.

YOU ARE THE EXECEPTION NOT THE RULE.


OP, I know that dating is rough, but damn.erplexed

 

[locabouthair]

I wonder what his disability is for him to be getting SSI.

I agree with everyone else.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

This remains me of the movie, He's Just Not That Into You.

YOU ARE THE EXECEPTION NOT THE RULE.


OP, I know that dating is rough, but damn.erplexed

LOL!!!

Yeah....I agree.

I mean, I'm glad it all worked out for you Lycall. I know a lot of couples start off broke and poor when they first get married, and then they get older and start living the "good life".

But sad to say...it just bothers me when a man is not making enough to even support HIMSELF, or when a woman makes significantly MORE than the man does in the relationship. I mean...it can work...don't get me wrong, but there will be hard times along the way. Relationships and getting along with someone past the "honeymoon" period is hard enough as it is, why add the financial/income part onto the problems?

 

[Makenzie]

i hate to sound repetative, but imma tell u like i tell my chirren...

everything in my house goes to work..da washer, da dryer, da stove, phone, fridge, hot water heater, everything up in hea gotta job to do and so do you.......don't get it twisted....

I was in the same situation when I met my SO of 2 years. He now has a career, car, we live together and he pays the rent.
I thought the same as many of these women and so did my girlfriends, especially when he told me he already had a child, I thought to run lol, but I knew in my heart that I loved him for him, and I could hear his determination for what he wanted for himself, and not just saying stuff to keep me on side, and now we have made a life together.
So I guess I am saying do what your heart tells you to.

PS he still treats me like we first met, I couldnt ask for more ;o)

This remains me of the movie, He's Just Not That Into You.

YOU ARE THE EXECEPTION NOT THE RULE.


OP, I know that dating is rough, but damn.erplexed

OKAY!!!! Most situations DO NOT end up like LyCall's. Op, he can't take care of you or any children you have together even if he wanted to. No HS diploma/GED. You're considering him for real?

 

[honeycomb719]

Okay, this is my situation. I met this guy about two months ago. He's really nice, respectful, honest,gives me mucho attention (im an attention whore), cooks for me, and loves spending time with me. Plus, he's hella sexy. BUT..he has no job. He says he's working on it, but I have the feeling no matter what kind of job he finds, if we do get married (hey, im always thinking long-term) I would have to be the breadwinner because he doesnt have his high school diploma or GED, and he has a record.I have no problem working and contributing, but I don't want to be the major contributor. Is it wrong to wanna be taken care of ??? Love or money? What do ya'll think? Oh yea..he doesn't have a car either. But he has no kids. Something else that has me a lil worried is he gets an SSI check. And I think that's why he isnt in a rush to find a job. He has his own place and all his bills are taken care of, he just has no extra cash. For every positive, there seems to be a negative. I'm confused. HELP! lol

After reading this he really sounds like a bum. LOL. But you know how it is when ur trying to view a situation while ur in it. Some feedback would be great!

Well, OP have you put any serious thought into 1) why he didnt finish school or get a GED? 2) Why he's on SSI? and 3) What he has a criminal record for? They all might have something to do with his mental stability...
Im sure you might be enjoying the attention now, but when you get to living day in and out with someone, the things that seem easy to over-look now can become monsters in a relationship.
Also, you really need to look within yourself to see why you think this guy is the best you can do. Sounds like an ok guy, but seriously, NO JOB! NO EDUCATION! AND a CRIMINAL RECORD!!!! Those are all RED FLAGS!!!!

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Also, you really need to look within yourself to see why you think this guy is the best you can do. Sounds like an ok guy, but seriously, NO JOB! NO EDUCATION! AND a CRIMINAL RECORD!!!! Those are all RED FLAGS!!!!

Right. He would have gotten the boot after he told me he had a "criminal record". HA! That ALONE would have me running for the hills.

 

[LovelyRo]

All I can say is don't do it! Screw how you are feeling right now... run for dear life!!!

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Damn, is the dating scene really that bad? Are men really that scarce?

I guess age plays a factor in this if you two are young. Otherwise, it's not the end of the world if you go ahead and date him. Do you. Just realize that I know some 18 year olds who have more going for them than him.

 

[JustKiya]

It's funny - anytime I see a thread in RF that says Blah, blah, blah, but.....

I already know the answer is hell no before I even read the OP.

 

[MissJ]

he has no job. He says he's working on it, but I have the feeling no matter what kind of job he finds, if we do get married (hey, im always thinking long-term) I would have to be the breadwinner because he doesnt have his high school diploma or GED, and he has a record.I

NEXT! He probably ain't all that, anyway, just trying to butter you up to be a sugar mama!

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

Okay, this is my situation. I met this guy about two months ago. He's really nice, respectful, honest,gives me mucho attention (im an attention whore), cooks for me, and loves spending time with me. Plus, he's hella sexy. BUT..he has no job. He says he's working on it, but I have the feeling no matter what kind of job he finds, if we do get married (hey, im always thinking long-term) I would have to be the breadwinner because he doesnt have his high school diploma or GED, and he has a record.I have no problem working and contributing, but I don't want to be the major contributor. Is it wrong to wanna be taken care of ??? Love or money? What do ya'll think? Oh yea..he doesn't have a car either. But he has no kids. Something else that has me a lil worried is he gets an SSI check. And I think that's why he isnt in a rush to find a job. He has his own place and all his bills are taken care of, he just has no extra cash. For every positive, there seems to be a negative. I'm confused. HELP! lol

After reading this he really sounds like a bum. LOL. But you know how it is when ur trying to view a situation while ur in it. Some feedback would be great!

No no and hell no.

 

[deltagyrl]

Methinks he's setting you up to take care of him.

 

[divya]

This does not sound good at all. Nothing in what you have described about this individual demonstrates any motivation. R-U-N!!!!!!

 

[divya]

And might I add that you can get an education while in jail? Why doesn't he have at least a GED? Why is he taking SSI? Get a job! People who want to do something with themselves will do it. That man does not seem like he is about anything at all.

 

[LyCall]

This remains me of the movie, He's Just Not That Into You.

YOU ARE THE EXECEPTION NOT THE RULE.


OP, I know that dating is rough, but damn.erplexed

Could be true lol , but my point is it is a risk that you take if you like the person enough. Relationships are a risk. You could meet someone that has money, cars and all that, but then looses it all, does that mean that he looses you too? Just the risk you take.