Okay ladies I have a confession to make. We've been talking a little bit here and there for the last few days and I talked to him for a bit today. Basically he said that he wants to be with me and would drop her in a second. I asked him if he has developed feelings for her and he said that he really didn't like her that much, but he liked that she had plans for the future to make money. He said that it wasn't important to him now if he could be with me. This statement turned me off so much but I'm so conflicted when I shouldn't be. It just pains me that I didn't become what I wanted, and honestly I feel like I don't have a chance with a better man because I don't have my stuff together.
I do work full-time to save to finish my last year of school, but men of substance these days want a woman of substance, right? Should I swear off men until I finish school and enter a career? What man talks like this anyway? He claims to be so traditional yet he's waiting on her to become a doctor. He said that with her wealth it would make it easier for him to get his plans off of the ground. My goodness that sounds kang-ish but why am I still so conflicted? I honestly don't feel like I deserve better. In any case, this makes me more determined than ever to become what I envisioned I would be. Not for him, but for me so I don't have to feel this way ever again.
Red flags girl red flags.....and yes I'm yelling because you are ignoring the pebbles falling on your head and it seems that only a boulder will get you to wake up.
"he liked that she had plans for the future to make money" WHAT ABOUT
HIS PLANS?
This statement turned me off so much THAT'S YOUR GUT TELLING YOU TO RUN
It just pains me that I didn't become what I wanted, and honestly I feel like I don't have a chance with a better man because I don't have my stuff together. YOU MAY NOT BE WHERE YOU WANT TO BE YET BUT YOU'RE NOT WHERE YOU WERE LAST YEAR THIS TIME. EVEN IF YOU STOPPED COLD YOU ARE LIGHT YEARS AHEAD OF HIM. DO YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE HOLDING THIS BOY UP? WHAT MAN SAYS THIS WITH A STRAIGHT FACE? He sounds like those fools on the Titanic jumping on the lifeboats with no regard for the women and children he's just knocked over. Why are you so down on yourself that you think the best you can do is keep holding on to a leech?
He claims to be so traditional yet he's waiting on her to become a doctor. What in his statements sounds traditional to you? Tradition is a MAN provides FOR his family. Tradition is not depending on someone else's estimated income so that you can then start. What happens if after organic chemistry she says *** med school and decides to become a teacher? What wealth does he think she will have to finance his plans when she has school loans to pay off? What does he plan to do in the 10 years it will take before she is even practicing??????
Let's take it back to a young man in his 20's - a traditional man in the making would be hustling at his job (if he's already finished school) and making plans for the future. He may be in a beat up car but he knows that its more important right now to pay off his loan or work and go to business school part time for that MBA or partner with his boy that wants to open a barber shop or get the down payment for that fixer upper they want to flip or whatever.
It doesn't include sitting on your behind mastering XBox while your girls gets her study on!!!
I honestly don't feel like I deserve better. You're only going to get in life what YOU feel you deserve.
Know that if you settle for this BS its because you chose to. When you know better you do better. You know the words out of his mouth not only do not match his actions but they make no sense at all - yet you keep giving his words creedence and weight as if they warrant contemplation. They don't. The sad part is until YOU believe it you will continue to let this boy put doubt in your head and heart. I had my idiot in college - thought the world would end without him yet when I finally let go someone much better came along and the new relationship was something I could not even fathom was possible. Years later college idiot is barely a footnote in my lifestory. I only bring him up when I recognize that look or hear the same fear I once had.
A real man, traditional or not brings more to the table than his swinging peen. His words match his actions. His love is shown in deed and words.
You do not have to prove you are better than the other girl. Please stop playing this game with yourself. In time you will see that BOTH OF YOU ARE TOO GOOD FOR THIS BOY. He is NOT the prize beloved YOU are.
He is NOT the prize beloved YOU are.
He is NOT the prize beloved YOU are.
Please watch Iyanla Fix My Life tonight with Evelyn Lozada. I don't always agree with Iyanla but she spoke some truths last night that you need to hear. Where is a man that can't control his "impulses" going to lead you?
Where is a man that pits you against a child going to lead you? What about any of his statements or actions makes you continue to be protective of him? Be better because you deserve and want better.
EdgyGirl - tagging so you will log on and see this.
It's natural to feel some way about seeing someone you love with someone else, but trust me, it will pass.
