I Just Want The Sex

[strenght81]

At some point next year I want to settle down and be committed to one man and eventually marry. However, for now I like the company of a sexy man with a great body,a big D,and who knows how to put it down!!! I have a healthy sex drive or maybe unhealthy as I do want it way too often lol. Does anyone else feel this way? You just want the sex for now?

 

[BGT]

Yes.

I'm interviewing a FWB right now.

 

[sunnieb]

There's nothing wrong with having a healthy and hearty libido. Hell, you ain't dead.

Enjoy yourself and protect your health.

Also, I don't know of any husband who complains about their wife wanting too much sex, so when you settle down, keep it up. IJS

 

[Taleah2009]

I felt like that 5 years ago. I got out of a bad relationship and I was interested in anything else but the D. I had my steady partner and rolled like for like a year. So I totally feel you.

 

[MzLady78]

I've been there at different points in my life, nothing wrong with it.

 

[DarkJoy]

Yep. Yep. Yep. I aint shame.

 

[TayMac]

I've been there before. Nothing unhealthy about it as long you protect yourself.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

I advise people against it, but they often don't learn.That's how baby mamas are made.

 

[C@ssandr@]

I advise people against it, but they often don't learn.That's how baby mamas are made.

Baby mama's are made in a multitude of ways. Just for the record, I've gone this route before, I'm in my 30's and I've never been pregnant.

As for the OP, it took me years to come to terms with the fact that I desire sex, no matter what my relationship status is. Being single does not stop me from wanting sex. I have also actively sought out alternatives (meditation, prayer, yoga, exercise) because after my last break up I did not want to have sex outside of a relationship. I was single for over a year before I decided to get an fwb. I don't regret it...although I'm not sleeping with him no mo'.

 

[BGT]

I advise people against it, but they often don't learn.That's how baby mamas are made.

You can be single and become a BM; in a serious relationship and become a BM, engaged and become a BM; married and become a BM. It all depends on the man and whether or not he is willing to step up.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

You can be single and become a BM; in a serious relationship and become a BM, engaged and become a BM; married and become a BM. It all depends on the man and whether or not he is willing to step up.

@keyawarren
Yes, but it's worse when "just kicking'" with a guy. He'll be so quick to say it's not his -- and a bunch of other crap that goes on with that. :smh:

 

[C@ssandr@]

@keyawarren
Yes, but it's worse when "just kicking'" with a guy. He'll be so quick to say it's not his -- and a bunch of other crap that goes on with that. :smh:

That's if you get knocked up.

My point is that you can have casual sex without the drama and potential pregnancy. It's totally doable.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

That's if you get knocked up.

My point is that you can have casual sex without the drama and potential pregnancy. It's totally doable.

True, but still not the best idea IOM. Mistakes happens and I've seen enough young woman end up in a situation where they had kids by someone who was not the best choice of a father - because they were just kicking it.

Best thing in this situation is to wrap it up, use good bc and pray it all works 100%.

 

[LivingInPeace]

Girl, do what you got to do! Life's too long to go without that thang.

 

[BGT]

True, but still not the best idea IOM. Mistakes happens and I've seen enough young woman end up in a situation where they had kids by someone who was not the best choice of a father - because they were just kicking it.

Best thing in this situation is to wrap it up, use good bc and pray it all works 100%.

My best friend got married then had a baby. They've been divorced for a few months now and he barely sees or speaks to their son and doesn't give her any money. She's basically a BM.

 

[sunnieb]

A woman becomes a mother because she chooses to have the child. Period.

As women, we do have options. One option is to have the child if you're pregnant. Another option is to abstain from sex to ensure no pregnancy happens, and another option is to abort the pregnancy if bc failed. It's all up to the woman.

 

[C@ssandr@]

True, but still not the best idea IOM. Mistakes happens and I've seen enough young woman end up in a situation where they had kids by someone who was not the best choice of a father - because they were just kicking it.

Best thing in this situation is to wrap it up, use good bc and pray it all works 100%.

No, not just kicking it, but not protecting themselves properly either. However, I do agree somewhat with being selective about who you give the goods to.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

Ladies, anyone can end up a single mother, due to death, divorce, or abandonment.We can all agree on that, but you'd be insane to think that the likelihood of being a single mother impregnated by casual noncommittal relationship is equal to the likelihood if you're married, or in a long term committed relationship. Insane. Who is really arguing this? I have seen at least 4 people get caught up in this situation along the years, and not one of them would repeat the same mistake.

I advise against it, but do you. It's not my womb, not my body, and not my problem.

Here's a fictional reference to put things in perspective for those of you who watch Being Mary Jane - Imagine if that Mary Jane got knocked up by her boy toy. The brainless muscle head that she was just sexing

 

[qchelle]

I would have an abortion wayyyyy before I kept on being pregnant with some random dicks' baby That is a no brainer

Are people who are open to fwb situations not open to abortion? That is so dumb. That is really dumb

 

[BrickbyBrick]

Agree with previous posters about going ahead with it, but be very CHOOSY about who it is and how you practice. Especially if you are serious about getting married soon and/or if the circles you travel in are small and people know each other very well.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

I'm pro life so...

 

[C@ssandr@]

Ladies, anyone can end up a single mother, due to death, divorce, or abandonment.We can all agree on that, but you'd be insane to think that the likelihood of being a single mother impregnated by casual noncommittal relationship is equal to the likelihood if you're married, or in a long term committed relationship. Insane. Who is really arguing this? I have seen at least 4 people get caught up in this situation along the years, and not one of them would repeat the same mistake.

I advise against it, but do you. It's not my womb, not my body, and not my problem.

Here's a fictional reference to put things in perspective for those of you who watch Being Mary Jane - Imagine if that Mary Jane got knocked up by her boy toy. The brainless muscle head that she was just sexing

Interesting, because all the baby mamas I know were dating their boyfriends for years. So I'm not sure what the real stats are. One of those baby mamas is currently trying to divorce her deadbeat husband. So what it really comes down to is avoiding pregnancy, regardless of rlshp status.

 

[C@ssandr@]

I would have an abortion wayyyyy before I kept on being pregnant with some random dicks' baby That is a no brainer

Are people who are open to fwb situations not open to abortion? That is so dumb. That is really dumb

I'm pro choice, but that is exactly why I am even more meticulous about birth control. Just because I believe in abortions doesn't mean i'm itching to ever have one. I'm also really starting not to believe in "accidents". Way too many bc options out there. Smh.

 

[bklynbornNbred]

No, not just kicking it, but not protecting themselves properly either. However, I do agree somewhat with being selective about who you give the goods to.

This. Most times people know where they stand even if they claim otherwise after an oops. If you don't want a baby then don't allow "slips" to happen. If you grown and clear in advance about what you are doing then keep a box of condoms by the bed in addition to whatever barrier protection you are using. If he refuses or is cavalier about condoms then you already know what it is. Don't come around with the sob stories.

If you're pro life then you need to be even more vigilant before you get into situation with someone you're not married to. Pro choice doesn't mean you ignore obvious preventive behavior it just means you have an additional option that a pro lifer doesn't want to choose but you're still responsible to do all you can to not have to make that choice at all.

I'm still trying to reconcile this question with the advice OP gave in another thread but I'm gonna let it go.

 

[okange76]

Couldn't do it. I get way too attached too quick. My biggest fear is getting strung out by someone who has no intention of ever thinking of a commitment or someone who has perfected the art of slinging D coz he has nothing else to offer me or any other woman.

 

[JerriBlank]

I've done it a couple of times in my life. It was perfect, and just what I needed. I was happy. Get my rocks off, go home and sleep like a baby. No, I don't share a bed with a fwb. No, I've never been put out of any man's bed. Know what you want, and stick to it. Anything else creates room for situationships.

 

[TayMac]

Y'all just suck the libido right out of this thread.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

I'm not here to get anyone's rocks off. Just stating a bit of common sense.

 

[GeorginaSparks]

how did this go from looking for just sex to abortions and pro choice/pro life?

 

[Naveah2050]

I'm not here to get anyone's rocks off. Just stating a bit of common sense.

Common sense would argue that this is 2015 and there is no reason for a woman to be pregnant unless she wants to, especially a woman of a certain age so your dogged insistence on pushing this argument forward makes no sense in this particular thread. If OP aint wanna commit to a man what makes you think she wants to be tied down with a child?