we have been talking for a month and some change

[Zaynab]

We hang out everyday and he stays the night pretty much every night. I asked him today what's going on with us and he said he really likes me and he's not talking to anyone else and he's just going with the flow.

Well I wanna know if I should continue to talk to him or am I wasting my time. I want a relationship eventually

Don't let him spend the night at your house, stop that now. Do not stop at go. You're making yourself too common and too available without any effort from him. If he wants to see you, he can take you on DATES.

I want a relationship eventually

AND

he's not talking to anyone else and he's just going with the flow.

You're headed to relationship purgatory. This is how it starts.

 

[Zaynab]

So should I just move on and start new with someone else or should I tell him I want more and start becoming less available?

I wouldn't tell him anything. Men respond to actions, not words. I'd limit my time with him and be super busy and never addressing that what you want from him. I would have never asked him "where is this going?" Because he knows you're waiting on something from him and he can keep tangling this "go with the flow" carrot.

He would not spend the night at my house. You're not in a relationship with him. If you want a relationship and truly want one with him, make him to come you and after you. When in a relationship with a man, you should spend the night or vice versa 1x a week, on the weekend or off days, and that's IT. Spending the night= being to common and available.

 

[DarkJoy]

When in a relationship with a man, you should spend the night or vice versa 1x a week, on the weekend or off days, and that's IT. Spending the night= being to common and available.

Pssssh. Agreed. My advice initially was this but seeing as how they're not even in a relationdhip my advice is how I roll with men:

Absolutely NO over nights until a rlshp is well established and underway.

He's getting SO/husband rights without earning a damned thing. And at only month in? No ma'am.

____________
*.~.*Sent from a distant Galaxy in the Unicorn-verse*.~.*

 

[DarkJoy]

Matter of fact, is this male even contributing to your living expenses? Cuz it's really bad if not. he's taking advantage if he's there almost every day of the week and not contributing. You need to cut this mess out yesterday.

____________
*.~.*Sent from a distant Galaxy in the Unicorn-verse*.~.*

 

[Zaynab]

Pssssh. Agreed. My advice initially was this but seeing as how they're not even in a relationdhip my advice is how I roll with men:

Absolutely NO over nights until a rlshp is well established and underway.

He's getting SO/husband rights without earning a damned thing. And at only month in? No ma'am.

____________
*.~.*Sent from a distant Galaxy in the Unicorn-verse*.~.*

Oh I didn't read the whole thread. Someone tagged me so I just read the first page And agreed. No spending the night with men

 

[SincerelyJane]

I think I would hang out with him less, just to clear out your mind. Sometimes we need time away from the situation to see things clearly. Maybe you'll realize that he's not that great after all. Maybe you'll meet someone else. I just think you two need to take a break.

 

[*CherryPie*]

Maybe he has nowhere to live.

 

[celiabug]

He goes to work and I go to work during the day and he comes over after he lives with his aunt. Hes only 22. I think I'm gonna start limiting my time with him and see how things go. Hes definitely a beta guy. I have to plan everything. He pays but he never comes up with an idea. Its always "whatever you want to do".

 

[*CherryPie*]

OP, how old are you? Just curious.

 

[celiabug]

OP, how old are you? Just curious.

I am 21....

 

[Naveah2050]

He goes to work and I go to work during the day and he comes over after he lives with his aunt. Hes only 22. I think I'm gonna start limiting my time with him and see how things go. Hes definitely a beta guy. I have to plan everything. He pays but he never comes up with an idea. Its always "whatever you want to do".

Erm yes your place is his retreat from his aunts house. I would limit my time with him for sure,

 

[gn1g]

I like the rules book. but you can certainly put pressure on him by not being so available.

 

[*CherryPie*]

Okay. That makes more sense now. I still think there's something fishy about his actions. But now, I think he's just using you to be away from home. He probably don't like being at home too much for some reason.

I am 21....