I don't know what to title this post.

[zzirvingj]

Had a "first date" on Saturday. At the end of the date he said he would call me when I got home, and my "assignment" was to have a question for him I didn't ask while on our date.

So. By the time he called me I hadn't come up with a question. But he had one for me, and it was "Name something wild you've never done but always wanted to do"...that's not what he said word-for-word but that was the basic question.

Well, I couldn't think of an answer at the time (it was getting to be pretty late and I just couldn't think of anything.) So I asked him the same question (name something you've never done before but would really like to do) and his response was "Have sex in a park."

So I said, "Anything else...?" (He didn't know this, but asking him 'anything else' was my way of giving him a chance to redeem himself with an answer that wasn't related to sex.)

And he responded with, "Have sex in a pool in an apartment complex."



I told him I enjoyed having drinks with him earlier, ended the phone convo and went to bed.

This fool is 41 years old.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

At least you know up front. He was hoping you would say the same. Men are a trip.

 

[MzLady78]

I'm that he couldn't come up with anything non-sexual.

I'm also that having sex in a park is "wild" to a 41 year old man.

 

[Skiggle]

He's an idiot.
His lame responses reminds me of the guys on my college campus.

 

[awhyley]

He sounds like fun
Guess he wanted to know if you were down. So, is there a second date in the works?

 

[zzirvingj]

I'm that he couldn't come up with anything non-sexual.

I'm also that having sex in a park is "wild" to a 41 year old man.

In regards to the bolded, I shoulda known he was about to bring up something sexual because the key word in the original question was "wild" (he said to name something wild I hadn't done before)...

Now, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt because he had talked earlier about being spontaneous and what have you, so I was thinking along the lines of bungee jumping or skydiving, etc.

What a huge turn off.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

have sex in a pool in a apartment complex? He's so lame..

 

[MzLady78]

In regards to the bolded, I shoulda known he was about to bring up something sexual because the key word in the original question was "wild" (he said to name something wild I hadn't done before)...

Now, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt because he had talked earlier about being spontaneous and what have you, so I was thinking along the lines of bungee jumping or skydiving, etc.

What a huge turn off.

Right. Even if he initially said sex in the park, then came up with something like skydiving the 2nd time, it wouldn't have been as bad.

 

[MzLady78]

have sex in a pool in a apartment complex? He's so lame..

What is this, Melrose Place?

 

[zzirvingj]

He sounds like fun
Guess he wanted to know if you were down. So, is there a second date in the works?

I'm sure he 'would be' alotta fun-for the right woman. Which isn't me.

It's interesting because he spent a great deal of the night talking about how men think it's "all about the physical" and having sex with a woman and how he's more of the "intellectual type" and how important it is to stimulate a person's mind first and blah, blah blah...

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

What is this, Melrose Place?

Lofl! So lame. He really needs a life.

 

[zzirvingj]

have sex in a pool in a apartment complex? He's so lame..

I'm actually laughing out loud as I'm re-reading what I wrote. I probably would have laughed at his answers too while on the phone but I was so tired I was just like, "Ok...goodnite."

 

[MzLady78]

I'm sure he 'would be' alotta fun-for the right woman. Which isn't me.

It's interesting because he spent a great deal of the night talking about how men think it's "all about the physical" and having sex with a woman and how he's more of the "intellectual type" and how important it is to stimulate a person's mind first and blah, blah blah...

That's always a red flag. If you're really so different, it'll come out in your actions. It's like who are you trying to convince, me or yourself?

 

[Carrie A]

I'm sure he 'would be' alotta fun-for the right woman. Which isn't me.

It's interesting because he spent a great deal of the night talking about how men think it's "all about the physical" and having sex with a woman and how he's more of the "intellectual type" and how important it is to stimulate a person's mind first and blah, blah blah...

That's exactly what he did. He was trying to be intellectually stimulating first.. at dinner before moving on to the physical stuff..... over dessert convo

 

[Pat Mahurr]

How would you describe him based on the chart below?

 

[zzirvingj]

In the past I've been bad about just not returning calls or texts when I'm not feeling someone. He's called/text mssg'd me a few times since Sat nite.

I think I'm gonna need to be proactive about this one and cut it off immediately. I'd love to hear your suggestions on what to say...?

i.e. "It was nice meeting you but...." (you ladies can fill in the blank for me)

 

[zzirvingj]

How would you describe him based on the chart below?

^I'm gonna go ahead with Dork

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

But you are lame? But I'd rather rip off my fingernails? But I can see through your bull****? But you aren't worth the headache? But I'm not in to "wild" *snicker* men. the list goes on and on.....

 

[zzirvingj]

That's exactly what he did. He was trying to be intellectually stimulating first.. at dinner before moving on to the physical stuff..... over dessert convo

What's funny is he thought he 'was' being intellectually stimulating at first but he really wasn't

To make matters worse he did the whole 'pet name' thing...which is a pet peeve of mine; calling me "honey", "sweety", "baby", "dear", "love" all night long and I just met you...just call me by my name lol

 

[MzLady78]

In the past I've been bad about just not returning calls or texts when I'm not feeling someone. He's called/text mssg'd me a few times since Sat nite.

I think I'm gonna need to be proactive about this one and cut it off immediately. I'd love to hear your suggestions on what to say...?

i.e. "It was nice meeting you but...." (you ladies can fill in the blank for me)

Me too.

But after having it done to me a few times, I stopped caring. Is it right, maybe not. But it is what it is.

 

[zzirvingj]

That's always a red flag. If you're really so different, it'll come out in your actions. It's like who are you trying to convince, me or yourself?

EXACTLY...!

 

[zzirvingj]

I just wanna add that dates such as this one make me REALLY appreciate the good dates!

 

[chocolat79]

have sex in a pool in a apartment complex? He's so lame..

That actually sounds kinda nasty.

 

[chocolat79]

What's funny is he thought he 'was' being intellectually stimulating at first but he really wasn't

To make matters worse he did the whole 'pet name' thing...which is a pet peeve of mine; calling me "honey", "sweety", "baby", "dear", "love" all night long and I just met you...just call me by my name lol

Absolutely not!! I hate this! Especially if he doesn't know me, ugh!

To answer your question about what to say, I've always said, "It was nice meeting you and I had a good time (don't say, with you, LOL), but I just don't feel any chemistry between us, so thank you for dinner and take care." I think folks know what "take care" means, LOL.

 

[zzirvingj]

[/b]

Absolutely not!! I hate this! Especially if he doesn't know me, ugh!

To answer your question about what to say, I've always said, "It was nice meeting you and I had a good time (don't say, with you, LOL), but I just don't feel any chemistry between us, so thank you for dinner and take care." I think folks know what "take care" means, LOL.

Short and sweet. I like it

ETA: Glad to know I'm not the only feel who feels so strongly about the pet name thing...it actually creeps me out a little...

 

[chocolat79]

Short and sweet. I like it

ETA: Glad to know I'm not the only feel who feels so strongly about the pet name thing...it actually creeps me out a little...

Yep, that's exactly it!

 

[VelvetRain]

Girl let that one go. You are a dodging a serious bullet by letting him pass you on by. I met a guy similar to that early this year. Fool was in his early 40's too. Way too old to be approaching you like that. What's wrong with em?

 

[VelvetRain]

I am not sure why you feel the need to let him know you are not feeling him. You don't owe that ninja no explanation. When he came at you sideways he didnt deserve respect in return. Dude can go and kick rocks. Let your actions speak for you. He will get it.

 

[Makenzie]

I am not sure why you feel the need to let him know you are not feeling him. You don't owe that ninja no explanation. When he came at you sideways he didnt deserve respect in return. Dude can go and kick rocks. Let your actions speak for you. He will get it.

The no chemistry line sounds good, but honestly, I'd do as VelvetRain suggests. Just be done with him. Recently I was talking to a guy on the phone that I had known for all of three days, and mentioned I wanted something sweet - as in cake, ice cream, etc.. Did this dweeb not tell me I could have some of his chocolate. *roll eyes*. Ugghhh, you've known me 3 days and have never seen me in person but you want to take it there? And lamely at that. He got the hint when I didn't return calls or texts. He was in his 40's too.

 

[VelvetRain]

Yeah some of these men are full of crap. The one I went on a date with kept dropping sexual innuendos. I casually mentioned I had to get off the phone to take a shower to hit the road for errands and this fool proceeded to ask of if I needed his assistance to wash my back and feet. Dude I have known you for all of a few days and you take it there? Bye. The guy I am dating now hasnt taken it there and refuses to even discuss anything sexual so soon which is fine by me.