I confess: I went on a date with a guy who chose another girl over me & the fallout.

[Blossssom]

Re: I confess: I went on a date with a guy who chose another girl over me & the fall

Aw, Miss J...

I didn't read all the responses but Victory and Kiya are 100% correct.

 

[laCriolla]

Re: I confess: I went on a date with a guy who chose another girl over me & the fall

I was heated. My arms got a little numb, and my head started to hurt a little. I'm nobody's good-for-now girl, never have been, never will be.

preach!!




I think you have the right state of mind. stay strong. you're not alone. and maybe tell him point blank you're nobody's good for now girl.

 

[MissJ]

Re: I confess: I went on a date with a guy who chose another girl over me & the fall

I think you have good reason to be mad at yourself.

He's already told you everything you need to know and you keep wasting time/energy on him. I'd be mad at myself too.

As everyone else has said, he doesn't want a relationship with you so just keep on keepin' on.

I'm not wasting any time or energy on him. I'm just passing the time before summer school starts. I simply asked if I should give his money back to send the message that I'm not interested, because I took up an offer that I shouldn't have. Did I ever say I wanted a relationship with him? No. When he broached the relationship subject, I did not want to discuss it, because I did not know him well. Plus, we'd never even been on a date. He begged and pleaded for me to give him a chance past being "just friends." About 2 weeks after confessing his undying love and affection for me, he brought out the speech, starting "I'm not a player" and continuing with he's been flirting with a lot of girls in different cities. I have taken responsibility in my part in this with myself, but I obviously did not know that he was a fraud. He obviously did not know that I remember most things people say to me, hence the "Do you have a tape recorder" comment.

Fortunately, I have never had a man "run game" on me until now. I take it as a learning experience, and I don't see any reason I should be mad at myself, because a man wants to use me for his own personal gratification and nothing more, when I always carry myself like a lady. He continued to flirt with me even after gaining a girlfriend which further proves what kind of man he is. I am cordial to him. Like I said, the law school is small, and the black population within the law school is miniscule. We all interact frequently. I can't ignore him completely, but I can try to avoid him. I did have to avoid a birthday party that I promised a girl I would attend, after seeing that he had responded to an evite +1 guest.

And for the record, it wasn't really a date.

 

[MissJ]

Re: I confess: I went on a date with a guy who chose another girl over me & the fall

Here is the red flag for me:

While we were there, I was thinking, "What am I doing? I have no intentions of dating him again. I'm not even interested." I tried to pay for my own stuff, but he insisted that he pay. Anyway, I was on facebook lastnight, and he was on. He started chatting with me, and he asked me out again. Then I just had to ask him about what he told me a few months ago about his being an a-hole, unreliable, my being too good for him, and his being crazier than my ex. You know the kind of speech the guy gives when he doesn't want a relationship with YOU.

When anyone says something like this, it is (now) a red flag for me. This would have saved me a lot of heartache in some relationships if I had just paid attention to this one lie. He told you that because (IMO) it was the truth. It was always the truth with the guys who told me that.

When people tell you who they are, believe them.

He doesn't really believe that. He was just saying that to soften the blow.

 

[texasqt]

Re: I confess: I went on a date with a guy who chose another girl over me & the fall

He only about the chase....don't satisfy his ego!

My thoughts exactly...you're filet mignon and he's a starving wolf. He's all about trying to 'see' if he can conquer you. Nothing more and if you allow him to get to you he's not going to respect you in the end. And he seems like the kind of guy that will go and tell everyone at the law school - yeah she let me hit it. Watch him. He's going to try to wear you out if you allow him to.

First, take it as a compliment because he's identified and confirmed that you are a top notch girl. Second, act like the top notch girl and only spend your time and energy doing what makes you happy. No one put you here on this earth to deal with his shinanigans and all he's trying to do is see if he can get and keep your attention. Bump him!

I'm not wasting any time or energy on him. I'm just passing the time before summer school starts. I simply asked if I should give his money back to send the message that I'm not interested, because I took up an offer that I shouldn't have.

Without using curse words on Sunday - NO!
You deserve to be treated even if it was from someone unworthy and you definitely needed a ride home AT THE TIME. Count it as a blessing. Big poppa didn't want you out in the rain and old dude just happened to be the only one available at the time that Big Poppa used to give you a ride and a FREE MEAL That was Big Poppa looking out for you if you're following me.

And if you had not done so, you wouldn't know what you know now from your conversation with him. I just don't recommend you do it again but paying him back is an absolute NO. Do you think he would try to pay you or any other female he may have taken advantage of in his past? No...

At the end of the day, you have to be true to yourself so whatever you decide to do understand that you are the prize! I think you already know what to do but like the rest of us, you can be too nice at the wrong time.

 

[exoticmommie]

Re: I confess: I went on a date with a guy who chose another girl over me & the fall

My thoughts exactly...you're filet mignon and he's a starving wolf. He's all about trying to 'see' if he can conquer you. Nothing more and if you allow him to get to you he's not going to respect you in the end. And he seems like the kind of guy that will go and tell everyone at the law school - yeah she let me hit it. Watch him. He's going to try to wear you out if you allow him to.

First, take it as a compliment because he's identified and confirmed that you are a top notch girl. Second, act like the top notch girl and only spend your time and energy doing what makes you happy. No one put you here on this earth to deal with his shinanigans and all he's trying to do is see if he can get and keep your attention. Bump him!

Co-sign, and I totally understand you being mad, it's more like a how dare you/what kinda fool you take me for. I see it as who does he think he is, like you supposed to gravel at his feet and just give up the goods now that he is interested in you again (so obvious since he already talking about your celibacy). This man is arrogant (make you fall in love, please!) and not worth the minute in a day. Let him know you ain't interested and never will be. Thank You!

 

[babydollhair]

Re: I confess: I went on a date with a guy who chose another girl over me & the fall

Oh wow, that sounds like someone i had 2 get out my system. What does his name start with??? No, but forreal, i would just forget him and move on.... and let it be, there are so many men that would/will not disrespect you like that!

 

[MissJ]

Re: I confess: I went on a date with a guy who chose another girl over me & the fall

Co-sign, and I totally understand you being mad, it's more like a how dare you/what kinda fool you take me for. I see it as who does he think he is, like you supposed to gravel at his feet and just give up the goods now that he is interested in you again (so obvious since he already talking about your celibacy). This man is arrogant (make you fall in love, please!) and not worth the minute in a day. Let him know you ain't interested and never will be. Thank You!

Thanks, those are my exact sentiments.

 

[trj1922]

Re: I confess: I went on a date with a guy who chose another girl over me & the fall

I wonder if he would tell Lupe or Ming Cho that BS?
Anti- relationship= want to smash you till somebody better shows up

... and there you have it folks! Let the church say AMEN.

 

[gmw]

Re: I confess: I went on a date with a guy who chose another girl over me & the fall

he's using every line in the book

he just wants to put it in

he does not like you that much (not to sound mean to you)

he is wasting your time

he does not respect you/r decision to stay celibate (trying to talk you out of it)

be strong, and leave him alone

I hear what you are saying, but what is there to be strong about? He is a jerk, and she certainly isn't in love.

Chile just ignore him. He is stupid. They always think they can peg a woman and then get what they want.

Do not give him a damn thing back! And talking sex, and he is going to make you fall in love with him, and then tell you he is anti-relationship? What a YAHOO!!!

So I am going to let you hit, fall in love with you and know from the door that you have no intentions of being with or marrying me? Making me hot in the neck region......some straight BS.

Go to the nearest day spa get a hot stone massage and forget his *&*&^^%$ when you leave.

ARRRRGH!!!

 

[MissJ]

Re: I confess: I went on a date with a guy who chose another girl over me & the fall

gmw, that's an awesome analysis and reminder.

First day of class, and he's already started trying to talk before and after class.

 

[firecracker]

Re: I confess: I went on a date with a guy who chose another girl over me & the fall

There is nothing wrong with friendly conversation. You know he isn't your style or worth a diddly so say hi and bye if having mundane conversation doesn't suit you.

 

[sky_blu]

Re: I confess: I went on a date with a guy who chose another girl over me & the fall

This is exactly why I had to let someone go...hope he's doing well too because Im doing fine. Just wish I would've done it sooner.