Husband is a woman magnet?

ang3lface816

ang3lface816

Well-Known Member
I need a little help. I've tried searching the forum for assistance but haven't been able to find anything similar to what I have experienced...

I'll try to be as brief as possible....I'm looking for advice, or any stories of similar situations, or even a possible explanation as to why this could be.

I've been with my DH for over 6 years. We've been married for almost 3. I love my hubby dearly, and it's safe to say he feels the same about me. We are both pretty laid back people.

My hubby however seems to be a woman magnet! I can't explain it. It's the craziest thing. Yes, my husband is attractive. But he's not male underwear model attractive. lol. But it seems like wherever we go women throw themselves at him. When i say throw.. it's not actually an exchange of words (usually). More so non-verbally throw. I have ignored it for some timem usually I don't say anything when it happens (because I don't want to give the woman the satisfaction of thinking I'm intimidated lol) but my husband and I have discussed it.

My hubby is sort of clueless, at first he didn't even notice this was happening, but after me pointing it out he recogizes it as well. The confusing part is that my husband is not outgoing. He's not talkative. He's not flirtatious. (Believe me that I have watched him lol, to make sure there's nothing going on his end). And NOTHiNG.

What usually happens is we'll be out together. Arrived together, sitting together. We are not overly affectionate, but we will kiss (peck), rest a hand on the other's leg/arm from time to time. Despite our cues that we are together and in love, I've noticed women will place themselves in the vicinity of where we are. Begin to seek his attention... by talking loudly, trying to position themselves where a good "view" of them can be seen. Walking by repeatedly. Starting conversations with someone near by, about absolutely nothing of importance.

The most recent incident, we were at a birthday party yesterday. A child's birthday party. The party was for his (male) cousin's son. This woman is a friend of the child's mother. She attended the party last year (which was at a waterpark). So yesterday, I noticed that she kept coming around standing near me and my husband, walking past.. just basically putting herself in his view. When this happens my husband will either leave the area, or reposition himself so that the offending lady is no longer viewable lol. He really does everything he can as not to give them any attention.

When it happened last year, I blew it off. I didn't know if I was over reacting, or if this young lady was intentionally coming around in her skimpy bathing suit, or if I was just being "sensitive". I never mentioned it to my husband.

This year, she arrives after us. And anywhere my husband would go, I could easily locate her by keeping an eye on him. If he went over to the refreshments and began a conversation with a relative, very shortly after she would saunter over in the area, begin talking loudly, walking past him excessively etc. At one point my husband was standing off to the side by himself and she proceeds to positon herself right in his view and bend over (seductively- like she arched her back lol) to put ice in a cooler. I could not believe my eyes! My husband quickly left the area, and went to play basketball. The whole time this was going on I was about 10 feet away from her, and he was about 5 feet from where she was.

Once my husband was gone, this lady actually was able to sit down. When he returned she was up again. I'm a very observant person, I have been said to read people very well. However I cannot for the life of me, explain this/and other situations like this.

Upon leaving I did mention it to my husband and he said he noticed. Also said thats why he ultimately left to play basketball.

I am at a complete loss. This of course is one example. But it happens from time to time. My husband is the strong silent type, he isn't the type of guy you have to watch and be on his heels. He doesn't look at other women when I'm around/nor give me any reason to be suspicious of him or really do anything to make these women go looney. He's not the charming type, where women would just feed on his energy.

It's like he gives off extra manly pheromones and they cant help but be attracted. It's flattering to a point, but it's also very annoying. I dont want to be the psycho/jealous wife. So i don't say anything. And since they usually don't directly flirt with him, he doesn't say anything either. But it has happened, and upon talking with other members of my family, they have noticed it too. But they comment on how well he carries himself, and also noticing him distancing himself from the situation. They've said they have never seen him act in anthing less than a respectable fashion, and basically tell me that's how some women are.

I guess my whole point in writing this, is to see if any of you ladies have experienced similar situations? If you can point me in the direction of what I should do the next time this occurs (if anything), or anything that he should do. We both agree that if a woman were to approach him and flirt, it would be 100% his job to check her. However, this situation is tricky because they dont openly approach him, but through body language its very obvious that they are attracted. I feel that sometimes they get out of control (like the bending over) and that it is disrespectful to my marriage. I am not afraid that I will lose him, or that anyone could take him from me ( I believe if a man wants to go, it's not the fault of the "other woman") however it does make me a little angry because it's blatantly disrespectful to me.

I've heard women say that if a man is with an attractive woman, other women sometimes get competetive, as to see if they can "take him" (so to speak) because it makes them feel "wanted" or just as attractive as the woman he is with, if they can somehow garner his attention.

I don't know. I don't have any clue...



Please help...
 
Hmmm OP, how much of this is real and how much of this is imagined? I don't mean to invalidate your feelings, but aside from women pacing back and forth around hubby, have any of them approached him? To assess your own feelings about the situtation, how secure are you with your husband? How secure are you within yourself?

I find it strange that you are in areas where you should be enjoying each other's company but instead you are consumed with other women trying to get the attention of your DH . That must take so much valuable time and energy from enjoying moments with each other.:ohwell:
 
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Oh its ok. And honestly, others have noticed it as well. I'm secure with him. He hasn't cheated. No strange calls or texts. or really any reason not to be secure. I also feel secure with myself. I would say I am an attractive woman. (others say the same).

And we do enjoy each other's attention. No I am not consumed with other woman trying to get his attention, I just think it's weird how they sort of flock to him. I

If this were happening to another person I would notice it as well, its not because I am hawk-eyeing him. The incidents I noticed, were usually because he was up making a plate for me/or the kids. (Yes he spoils me lol). Also being a mother I tend to scope out everything, I watch to see where my kids are as well, and I will sometimes notice the same women acting attention seeking in an area he happens to be in.
 
Also when I say coming around, I know that sounds.. :-/.. Maybe I am just not explaining it properly. But like at the waterpark/pool party. This same woman came in stood directly in front of the lawn chairs we were on, and several times stood about 3 feet from my hubby. The significance of this is that we were not in a central location, we were sort of off to the side. But she kept getting out of the pool on the side we were on. Pulling her shorts out of her butt lol.. Switching past (You know when you can tell someone is doing a little "extra"). I don't remember every single thing that happened last year.. but i do remember a couple things that stood out.
 
social events must be exhausting for you if you're constantly watching other people and their actions around your husband! as long as you don't see your husband entertaining the attention, i would ignore it and enjoy outings with your husband.
 
Sigh. I guess it's pointless for me to have posted this. Seems I will only be attacked.. Thanks for the replies.

I'm not insecure in the least. Just wondered if anyone else had anything similaroccur or anything helpful to add.

I am usually a person who can get the feel for a situation even being in it briefly. So much that people usually come to me for advice or my insight. Usually my insight is really on point. That's why it baffles me that I don't have a clue about this situation...
 
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I don't think they are attacking you. They are actually giving good advice. You cannot control what other people do. If you know your husband is loyal and what not then let it go. Please don't become border-line obsessive about this though. Lots of people go through this and it rarely bothers them. Hell, I like when women look at my man.....too bad they want what I already have.
 
ang3lface816 said:
Sigh. I guess it's pointless for me to have posted this. Seems I will only be attacked.. Thanks for the replies.
Click to expand...

OP, I hope you are not discouraged by the responses. I can notice at times other women checking out my dh however, I don't consume myself over it because women will just be women. Yes, you have some women that will try to test and catch the eye of your man, but understand you cannot control other people, just your reactions to the situation. You have a man that women want. Instead of being irritated by it, maybe take it for what it is and enjoy it or ignore it. Considering it takes two to carry flirting to the next level, it is honorable that your husband doesn't respond. So I think you have nothing to worry about.
 
You can't control other people. The only thing you can do is expect your husband to continue to handle the situations in a respectful manner (as it seems he's been doing). As long as he's not entertaining the flirting by flirting back or skinnin' and grinnin' all over the place, I think you'll be fine. Woman magnets are gonna be woman magnets regardless and no advice or pointers are going to change it.

Neither of you can control what other women do but he can control his reaction to it. As long as he doesn't give it any energy, they'll go away.
 
ang3lface816 said:
Sigh. I guess it's pointless for me to have posted this. Seems I will only be attacked.. Thanks for the replies.
Click to expand...

Idk. I'm trying to see the real issue with way you've described things. Honestly, I wouldn't lose sleep over it. As long as your hubby isnt doing anything with this attention, I wouldn't think twice. Everything you describe becomes an actual issue and something to worry about once your DH starts to engage with it. Sure a woman who bends over in her bikini in front of your DH at a family pool party is a bit inappropriate. However, it becomes disrespectful to your marriage should your hubby engage her in any way. Esp with her gallivanting like that.

As for experience- I don't really have anything to add. I get more attention than SO and I've only noticed the explicit behavior from other guys.
 
OP your hubby sounds like he is doing the right thing, ignoring their advances and staying faithful to you....so don't stress about it. There will always be someone who flirts with your man, but the true test is how he handles it. He's doing well so don't let a third party *** up your marriage. Also, I'm sure you get your fair share of men hitting on you too, don't make a mountain out of a molehill.
 
Ok maybe I shouldn't say attacked... It just seems I am being told I'm insecure when that is not the case.

I,guess I'll do what I have been and continue to ignore it. I won't be obsessive about it.

I only posted because the other thread similar to this about women flirting with ur DH/SO, and thought I'd see what you ladies would say based on my own situation.

Thanks again
 
People are gonna do what they want to do, you cannot control others people actions. As long as your husband isn't responding to these women then I wouldn't really worry about it. Body language is very subjective, you might think they are flirting, they may think they are just being social. Nothing you've posted here actually sounds like flirting but you know your situation best, so I say just ignore it since your husband seems to be oblivious to it anyway.
 
When I was living in Atlanta, I had women and MEN looking at my SO. It really tickled me. The gay men there are so forward. lol
 
Thanks everyone. I won't let it stress me. Sorry for typos. I'm on,my phone.

And maybe my choice of words could be more clear. It's not so much flirting as it, seems they just want him to pay them some attention . Maybe they see the way he treats me and wishfully want a piece of that lol.

I'll try to channel my energy towards being flattered vs getting annoyed, and accept that my husband is a hunk lol.
I think its his strong silentness too. Maybe he seems mysterious or a challenge.
 
I'm sorry you're going through that OP. It sounds like you and your husband are handling it properly by ignoring it. In my marriage people have visibly tried to flirt with me and DH, we both ignore that person. When people become bold and try to overstep boundaries of respect, the person who's attention is wanted will give a stank stare if necessary. Most people are intelligent enough to keep it moving when they see their advances are unwanted.
 
I understand how you feel and I understand that this is annoying, but there is not much you can do about it. I have noticed that some women are getting sillier and more desperate. All you can do is focus on how blessed you are and tune out the silliness. Maybe the next time you notice this and find yourself feeling stressed, maybe say to yourself, "I'm blessed and choose to focus on that." I do understand how you feel though:yep:.
 
Thats a good idea. A mental affirmation at the time it occurs. I bet that would chase out the "annoyed/angry" feeling if I did it each time.

I believe some women think they have to do that to attract men. I've always felt that if you are at least semi attractive (sometimes not even that lol), men will notice you period. If they are attracted/interested, they will notice. You don't have to go out of you way and do anything special.... I guess not all women believe in that school of thought.

All types make up a world. Yeah I guess there is really nothing I can do/or he can do other than what we have been doing. But just wondered if there was something we SHOULD be doing differently.

I really do appreciate the positive responses. Thanks ladies.
 
-You can ignore them entirely.

-If they are very annoying and your hubby is feeling mean, he can make broad statements about how unattractive desperate women are. In a loud voice with a disgusted look on his face. Then turn his back on whoever is making a spectacle of herself, and continue his conversation with friends/kids/you.
 
Op, I noticed this too when I got married. Women are more interested in DH when I am with him or when they learn that he is married.

He might have pheromones and it might be because of you too.

You're probably not imagining it at all. You probably notice it more now because you know what to look for.

It is disrespectful, and I find that men don't do it the same way women do. But DH catches men checking me out, but they tend to look and then look away real quick.

Chicks want you to see it. You just have to get to a place where you can expect it to happen and ignore it.
 
But just wondered if there was something we SHOULD be doing differently[/IMG]
Click to expand...
there isn't.
Your DH isn't responding to the so called flirting or indirect attention seeking. So he atleast is doing what he's supposed to be doing. I think you're worrying about too much..and more than you should. If your husband is attracting women...then he's attracting women. you can't do anything about that. Be thankful he is not showing them any mind cuz that's when you really need to be worried
 
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And OP, that chick knows just what she is doing. I've seen it happen and I know the type. You're probably right. She just wants to be noticed by him.

Some women really get off on being attractive to someone else's man.

It's wack. But her self esteem problem is not your issue. I say pray for the sister and move on :)
 
LOL. right. If he showed any attention we'd have another issue! lol.

But yes, it has gotten worse since we've gotten married. We been together so long, and even before that we've know each other. I trust him like I have never trusted ANY man. It's crazy! I think some women unconsciously/or maybe intentionally seek out attached men.

It's like they see him being a good man/father and they want him. I'm gonna tell him to do what the previous poster suggested... about the desperate women lol! He'll do it too. lol.
 
OP I understand. Realize that women these days or men have NO respect for marriages. As long as your hubby is avoiding these birds you have nothing to worry about! Enjoy him in public and ignore the thirsty garden tools!

ETA: NO
 
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I am actually LOL'g at the post about the larger ring. Ok. I'm gonna tell him that too.. It's going to look like one of those championship rings!

And yes, she is a certain "type" of woman.... I didnt notice her doing this with anyone else, but I suspect this isn't the first time she's pulled stuff like this with other women's man.

And to the poster who said men do it. Yes, I agree. I've had men approach me, and once I tell them I'm married, or they see us together they back off.

I've noticed this at work as well. The women seem to flock to the married men...
 
Op I know exactly what you are going through except my husband speaks to everyone. My advice is don't point it put to him.if he hasn't or doesn't notice then don't bring it to his attention.your husband seems to have the right attitude. As for that bending woman if she is really a problem next time make eye contact smile to yourself and shake your head .trust me she will get it. But keep in mind some women are especially attracted to married men.

It use to drive me crazy because I did everything possible not to appear as flirting and here was my husband chatty Cathy with everyone. I finally had realize you can not control other people and their behavior but you can control your reaction. Honestly some women are pathetic with what they are willing to do to get a man's attention.
 
I wonder if that other woman or these other women are noticing you as well. I don't know i just get the image of some chick (you) on the sidelines with frown lines and squinted eyes burning a hole into the actions of these other women. I wonder if these women can sense it and get a kick out of upsetting you.

OP, how would you describe your personality? Timid/withdrawn/reserved? Life of the party/social butterfly? or any descriptor falling in between the aforementioned?
 
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