My husband asked me if he could donate a kidney? What should I do?

[Arcadian]

Just my opinion but it dosen't sound like he's cheating. If anything he sounds like he's just a good hearted person who just wants to help this person.

I don't know what y'all know about the doner lists but it can take years to find a doner match, and people do die while on the waiting lists. So even on a list sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands and try to find someone who's willing to help you.


OP, talk to your husband and let him know how you feel. Ultimately he's the only one that can make up his own mind, but with you being his wife he should also take into consideration about the consequences of helping someone in this way.

-A

 

[gone_fishing]

not only THAT, how many of those saying HELL NO NOT MY MAN, would allow their husbands to dictate what they can & cant do with THEIR OWN body....

half of yall would log right onto LHCF and say " can ya believe that Ninja demanded I....." and the other half would be tellin you to leave his arse...
but when the shoe is on the other foot...........

When you get married major stuff like that should be a joint decision.

 

[Farida]

OP, your dh sounds a lot like my FH. You know him, and if I'm right and he is like my FH, he is not cheating.

My FH has what I call the "damsel in distress" syndrome. I believe ClassyND had that issue in the past as well, where you are with a good man, but he is so generous and kind that it is ridiculous and inappropriate sometimes.

I can totally see FH coming to me with the same scenario. I would say no. Especially because kidney disease/failure runs in my family. Chances are that myself, or one of my relatives or our future kids will need a kidney sometime in the future.

Not to mention the toll of the procedure. How much time will he lose at work, at home etc? how long is the recovery period? Side effects, costs incurred?

I generally don't say strong NO's to FH unless it is something very, very detrimental to us. I would tell him that at the end of the day if he feels a calling and strong desire to help, than so be it. However I would let him know that I don't want it at all, and I'll list all the reasons why I don't. It is a long-winded no, but it is more of a - you chose no because you respect me and my feelings rather than like a parent telling a kid I forbid you!

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Speaking only for myself, I don't believe in doing all sort of things to one's body against the wishes of one's spouse. Though I reserve the right to cut and color my hair and to go natural or straight regardless of whether or not DH likes it, to even pierce my belly button if I fancy it, to tattoo and shave my pubes, whatever, for serious stuff like having elective surgery that's potentially dangerous to my health, my husband's opinion would be very important to me and I would definitely take it into consideration.

Thank You!

But the OP said that the woman NEVER asked her DH to donate a kidney. So it's basically the husband trying to play hero...which many people do. Ultimately it's up to him in the end...it's his body. But I would NOT be happy about it.

 

[simplertimes]

I really dislike when women put men in those compromising positions. Why the heck is she telling your husband, who is virtually a stranger, that she needs a kidney? I'm sorry,harsh as it may be, not his problem.

 

[Theo]

I'm sorry but a KIDNEY? To a perfect stranger? Naw playa.....