How To Become A Challenge With Men?

Some gamechangers that I am working on to be more of a challenge are:

I stopped trying to impress him. I used to lead with my degrees and accomplishments and hobbies. Hi! I'm Priss! Yeah I'm a teacher. I won a lot of degrees. Yeah last year I got to present at XYZ. Now that I think is changing is that I'm trying to make the man sell himself to ME. I ask questions like Oh what do you do? That sounds sooo exciting. Is that your passion? Have you always wanted to do this? Do you think you made the right decision?

I don't call or text men at all. I text/call them BACK. I make the anticipate...is she EVER going to call me? I wonder what I could do to make her call me?

I guess with all of this I really take in the mindset that I AM THE PRIZE. I actually say this in my head before I go on the date.
 
Lylddlebit said:
Yes it makes sense. It is subjective and sometimes elusive. For me they key was realizing being my best self is self sufficient. I keep saying it because I believe it people have the capacity to add to you they don't fill you. It's because they don't fill you when they disappoint you or leave you you wont be empty even if you are sad. I wasn't always this confident. Frankly, I used to be the the the sweet, naive go out of my way for anyone who needed help pushover, way too selfless and kind but all for noble reasons and that's part of why it seemed like the right thing to do. Because I could endure discomfort and saw long-suffering as fruit of the spirit I just accepted foolishness with humility for a long time because I was able to lessen the impact of it. I had to have my dreams shattered and heart broken before I realized the way I allowed people to take advantage of me(even when I did it for the right reason) and treat me didn't match my value, my strengths or my destiny. It undermined my efficiency. It hindered me when I couldn't see past my intentions to view the impact on what was actually necessary for my goal. At the end of the day I concrete actions impacted my goals more effectively than intentions and that shift in my thinking had a positive impact for me. At the time did I think I was my best self? I sure did. I was a good person. I was a nice person. I made a bad situations better most of the time for the larger group even when it was at my own expense. How could that not be awesome? People liked me even when they pitied what I put myself through. I certainly believed I was my best self back then (through my early 20's) but that was a lie. I was in a place where I allowed my kindness to be a weakness when if context was a applied better to the actual situation my kindness could truly become a strength. So when I got honest with myself some negative experiences taught me that my best self wasn't always me being nice and pleasant in the situation. Sometimes me being my best self was me having the strength to be uncomfortable. Sometimes it required me to be a stickler for my convictions because that got the job done the first time. Sometimes I needed to be perceived as mean to stop danger in it's tracks. Sometimes being my best self was me saying I did what I was supposed to do so I am going to stand my ground where I am and if the person I am dealing with is who made the mess then it makes no sense that I feel worse about their consequence than they do. Either they can join me where I am or face their own consequence right where they are. I didn't need to "meet them" where they were and it wasn't efficient for me to . ..and oh boy that was work I had to do on my thinking because I had a lifetime of being taught selflessness and feeling downright guilty for enjoying what I deserved. The thing about it is even when I make a mistake.... even when I am wrong, if I was genuine when I did it then that is easy to live with. Better luck next time and bank the learning experience you know? The only time I really feel stupid about something is if I was doing something that completely contradicted my moral compass or character. If I make a mistake that was for the right reasons I don't punish myself for being myself I just bank the lesson. If you believe in God and the bible that helps. There are plenty of times I am wrong, dead wrong I read the bible and that confirm "yep you messed that up lyddlebit, you definitely should not have done that that way". However you just keep going and apply the lessons you stack up. There is peace in being able to trust yourself to make mistakes yet keep trying to get it right.

Rambing again but yes what you wrote makes perfect sense and I can relate. I am having flashbacks over here and it's good to be reminded.
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Wow, this was a mouthful right here, but thank you for verbalizing this. I was the same way, and wish I'd read this when I was in my teens. It's a tough lesson to learn, but it was worth it in the long run.
 
@Sosoothing - and @Silkycoils - I did. Although I sometimes second guess my decision, its nice to know that I should have more self love for myself than to tolerate whatever.

It finally dawned on me that dude was painting a picture of how crazy he was about me and this great life we would have together, and all he was going to do for me, yet all I really knew about him was what he told me (reminds me of Dirty John - though I don't believe that he is a killer). Never met his family, never been to his house, never invited to his church, never to his place of employment. Always full of excuses. After not seeing him for 14 weeks and the last week I was in his city (we live 2.5 hours away from each other) I said - that's it.

My Mom is still making me feel as if I am being too cold and harsh and that he is worth forgiving. Meanwhile in the past 3.5 months all he has done to win me back is to call and talk to me when I bother to answer his calls (he has been blocked from calling and banned from my house). I'm thinking that he would make more of an effort but he has not. Thanks for listening/reading LHCF family!
 
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LadyPBC said:
@Sosoothing - and @Silkycoils - I did. Although I sometimes second guess my decision, its nice to know that I should have more self love for myself than to tolerate whatever.

It finally dawned on me that dude was painting a picture of how crazy he was about me and this great life we would have together, and all he was going to do for me, yet all I really knew about him was what he told me (reminds me of Dirty John - though I don't believe that he is a killer). Never met his family, never been to his house, never invited to his church, never to his place of employment. Always full of excuses. After not seeing him for 14 weeks and the last week I was in his city (we live 2.5 hours away from each other) I said - that's it.

My Mom is still making me feel as if I am being too cold and harsh and that he is worth forgiving. Meanwhile in the past 3.5 months all he has done to win me back is to call and talk to me when I bother to answer his calls (he has been blocked from calling and banned from my house). I'm thinking that he would make more of an effort but he has not. Thanks for listening/reading LHCF family!
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Hey Sis, :)

First off, :bighug:
Now, I mean no disrespect, but please do not listen to your mother in this regard. Your mother is very likely operating out of love for you, but her opinion is colored by her experiences. She may have been raised to be overly accommodating. You've known him for long enough and there has been no growth in the relationship. I was someone who would spin an entire fantasy of what "could be" based on these :angry2::angry2::angry2::angry2:'s vague and meaningless words. For many years I subscribed to being overly forgiving and giving more than one chance. And what did it get me . . .confusion at best, and the feeling of being used at worst. Well, no more! I'm certainly not perfect, but I think I have mastered at least being a decent human being. :lachen: My motto now is drop anything/anyone that confuses me. If I don't understand something, I'm not too proud to ask for clarity, but I find that men (or people in general) who aren't about anything like to keep you in a state of confusion so that they can continue to gaslight you and fool you . . .nah.

Look up "future faking" on baggage reclaim. This is a common tactic of fornicating boys.

Again, I don't mean any disrespect to your mom, but she may want to see you with someone and is therefore suggesting that you be more forgiving. Thanks for sharing Sis, and know that you're not wrong and not alone (I don't know if this helps). :bighug::)
 
@Silkycoils OMG please don't have me getting all emotional. No disrespect taken. Yes, I know that my Mom wants me to be with someone and he gives the impression that he would be a good provider.

I recently found out what "gaslighting" means and he is the king. He also lies quite a bit. Not down for it. He is always doing nice things for my Mom so her opinion is definitely colored by her current and past experiences.

Looking into 'future faking' and it is right on the money. [When people overestimate their capacity to be or do something, or overestimate their level of interest. When done habitually whether it’s with one person or across several relationships, it’s called Future Faking – talking about and even amping up the future to get what you want in the present. They like how they look in our eyes. They like how they imagine we are feeling. They like what we reciprocate with as a result of their talk. It enhances their self-image.]

In the back of my mind I am hoping that he will prove me wrong somehow this Christmas season but I keep reminding myself that he has shown me who he is and that I should simply believe him AND be thankful that it didn't turn out worse than it already has. Thank you for your compassion and for enlightening me @Silkycoils !!! Back atcha!
:bighug:

Silkycoils said:
Hey Sis, :)

First off, :bighug:
Now, I mean no disrespect, but please do not listen to your mother in this regard. Your mother is very likely operating out of love for you, but her opinion is colored by her experiences. She may have been raised to be overly accommodating. You've known him for long enough and there has been no growth in the relationship. I was someone who would spin an entire fantasy of what "could be" based on these :angry2::angry2::angry2::angry2:'s vague and meaningless words. For many years I subscribed to being overly forgiving and giving more than one chance. And what did it get me . . .confusion at best, and the feeling of being used at worst. Well, no more! I'm certainly not perfect, but I think I have mastered at least being a decent human being. :lachen: My motto now is drop anything/anyone that confuses me. If I don't understand something, I'm not too proud to ask for clarity, but I find that men (or people in general) who aren't about anything like to keep you in a state of confusion so that they can continue to gaslight you and fool you . . .nah.

Look up "future faking" on baggage reclaim. This is a common tactic of fornicating boys.

Again, I don't mean any disrespect to your mom, but she may want to see you with someone and is therefore suggesting that you be more forgiving. Thanks for sharing Sis, and know that you're not wrong and not alone (I don't know if this helps). :bighug::)
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Silkycoils said:
Hey Sis, :)

First off, :bighug:
Now, I mean no disrespect, but please do not listen to your mother in this regard. Your mother is very likely operating out of love for you, but her opinion is colored by her experiences. She may have been raised to be overly accommodating. You've known him for long enough and there has been no growth in the relationship. I was someone who would spin an entire fantasy of what "could be" based on these :angry2::angry2::angry2::angry2:'s vague and meaningless words. For many years I subscribed to being overly forgiving and giving more than one chance. And what did it get me . . .confusion at best, and the feeling of being used at worst. Well, no more! I'm certainly not perfect, but I think I have mastered at least being a decent human being. :lachen: My motto now is drop anything/anyone that confuses me. If I don't understand something, I'm not too proud to ask for clarity, but I find that men (or people in general) who aren't about anything like to keep you in a state of confusion so that they can continue to gaslight you and fool you . . .nah.

Look up "future faking" on baggage reclaim. This is a common tactic of fornicating boys.

Again, I don't mean any disrespect to your mom, but she may want to see you with someone and is therefore suggesting that you be more forgiving. Thanks for sharing Sis, and know that you're not wrong and not alone (I don't know if this helps). :bighug::)
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I'm so tired of mothers being like this. Maybe I'm just speaking for my mother but it doesn't ever feel that she genuinely wants better for me than what she wants. Instead it's, oh you live in a fairy tale land. No one is like that in life. You just have to deal with cards you've been dealt. A man gonna be a man baby. I mean everything makes men a "good man" but anything I do....I need to go harder. It's quite annoying.
 
PrissiSippi said:
I'm so tired of mothers being like this. Maybe I'm just speaking for my mother but it doesn't ever feel that she genuinely wants better for me than what she wants. Instead it's, oh you live in a fairy tale land. No one is like that in life. You just have to deal with cards you've been dealt. A man gonna be a man baby. I mean everything makes men a "good man" but anything I do....I need to go harder. It's quite annoying.
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That's her belief and people can only advise you from their perspectives. It's not personal as they believe they are helping. I don't listen to the advice of people who aren't in spaces I want to be in. I just say ok and KIM.
 
wow...yall are speaking relationship gospel up in here.
I've been out of the dating scene for 1.5 years on purpose to bring balance back to my life (or self rather). Sometimes I feel like it was stupid to stay to myself that long, but then I remind myself that I've been giving and compromising my boundaries for men for many years. My reset is not going to happen overnight. It's not even gonna happen in 1 month. I feel like this entire time alone has been an emotional cleanse that I wouldn't have done if I met a new guy and let him distract me. What I do know is when I finally do go back out there I will be armed with so much self-awareness that the mistakes I made in my past, I would just laugh at now
 
Listen. I’m high value and it’s completely over rated because my standards too high, I’m hard to please and when I’m clear on what I want, no matter how direct, they aren’t clear on if they can give me what I want. I should lower my standards because I’ll never find a man that wants me. I’m nice on the outside but too strong on the inside and should be fair to everyone and give chances, even when none more are deserved.

Don’t be like me ladies. :drunk:
 
Saludable84 said:
Listen. I’m high value and it’s completely over rated because my standards too high, I’m hard to please and when I’m clear on what I want, no matter how direct, they aren’t clear on if they can give me what I want. I should lower my standards because I’ll never find a man that wants me. I’m nice on the outside but too strong on the inside and should be fair to everyone and give chances, even when none more are deserved.

Don’t be like me ladies. :drunk:
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:lachen:
 
Love this thread!

There are some gems in here... thought I'd share :drunk:

10 Signs The Woman You're Dating Definitely Has Game
ByMargaret Makrouhi
Feb 12 2016
If you don't know by now that dating is a game, you are either in denial, or you're the world's most hopeless, romantic sap (with a lot to learn).

The truth is, dating is a game. The men who have “game" have their ways of playing, and the women who have “game" have their ways, too.

Sometimes, you win. Sometimes, you lose. Sometimes, you draw even. Some people may even have game without being aware of it.

So, who is the girl who has game? She's the girl who always seems to win. She's the girl whose love life resembles more of a calculated chess game than an abstract, "What the **** is happening?" painting.

She is the girl who gives relationship advice. She doesn't ask for it.

She's the girl who is always in power, and most importantly, she's the girl who knows when the game is coming to an end.

As Mae West says,

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.
These are the 10 ways you can tell you're dating a girl who knows what she's doing:

1. She is confident.
The girl with game has supreme confidence in who she is. She doesn't compare her physique, achievements, age or status to other women. She knows there are 3.5 billion women in this world, and yet, there is only one of her.

She doesn't flinch if she finds out your ex was a model or CEO. She is who she is, so you can either take it or leave it.

2. She has self-esteem.
The girl with game is the girl who knows how she should be treated. She is the one who breaks up with her boyfriend or husband if he cheated or demonstrated negative and unhealthy behavior.

She is the girl who notices the red flags right away, and she doesn't delude herself in an attempt to prolong the relationship. If she doesn't give herself sh*t, why would she take it from someone else?

She is her own best friend.

3. She doesn't chase or pursue you.
The girl with game reciprocates contact. She doesn't initiate it.

You won't be getting a text from her at 2 pm on a work day while she's at the office. You won't be getting a phone call from her on a school night when she has to study for finals.

You won't be hearing from her on a Friday or Saturday night because she will be out, socializing and having fun with her squad.

The girl with game knows she doesn't have to chase a man. He knows she exists, and if he wanted her in his life, he would make it happen.

Over and out.

4. She doesn't call or text you all the time, but she accepts dates.
The girl with game isn't about to give all her time to a man she's just met. He is nothing more than an attractive male who asked for her number. That's it.

She is wise enough to know you don't give your attention to any man who hasn't earned it yet. However, she is open to being pursued.

She might not text you every day or call you back right away, but if you ask her out (in advance), she will gladly accept.

5. She's mysterious.
The girl with game is elusive in character, especially in the early stages of dating. She says enough to answer your questions, but never to the point of disclosing private information.

She'll tell you she had a wonderful meal at the best French restaurant in the city, but she won't tell you who she went with. She'll mention she moved from Los Angeles a few years ago, but you won't know why. You'll know she paints, but she won't tell you where her art is displayed.

She's like a Russian doll. Her personality, career, family or social life and personal enrichments all come out slowly, after you two have spent time an appropriate amount of time together.

6. You are unsure of how she feels about you.
The girl with game is going to reciprocate enough attention for you to know she's a presence in your life, but not enough for you to know you have her. You'll feel like she is on the fence.

After all, she isn't texting or calling you non-stop, she isn't initiating dates and she isn't tagging you in Instagram photos or Tweeting at you. If you want to know how she feels about you, you'll have to simply ask her directly.

7. She's kind.
The girl with game is a quality girl. This means she is attractive and kind, hot and nice.

She isn't using you for free drinks, free meals or entertainment. She isn't being manipulative to see what she can get out of you.

She only gives her time and attention to men she likes or wants to get to know, but her standards are in check. The last thing she wants to do is appear eager, needy or aggressive.

She doesn't want to be in a situation that might open the door to unrequited love.

8. She's sexy without trying.
The girl with game is sexy, but in a subtle manner. You see her sexuality in her entire being without her even trying.

You'll see it in the way she walks in her stilettos, her sheer black tights, her natural hair, her soft, red, manicured hands and her coy, mischievous smile.

She is aware of the kind of lover she is, and she knows she will take you to paradise. But first, you have to prove yourself.

9. She has boundaries.
The girl with game isn't the girl who loses herself in love. She gives her time, affection, love and empathy to you, but not in excess.

She doesn't expect you to control her happiness, just as she doesn't want to control your happiness.

If you aren't interested in going to the ballet with her, she will go alone or with friends. If she doesn't want to see the UFC championship with you and your friends, she won't go.

She isn't afraid to say or hear the word "no." After all, she is diplomatic in relationships.

10. She doesn't contact you after you ghost or break up with her.
The girl with game has mastered the hardest skill in the game of dating: how to handle it when a man breaks up with her or ghosts her. Both situations are very hard, especially when you've unveiled and accepted the truth.

Someone you liked (or even loved) has decided he or she doesn't want to be in your life anymore. However, the girl with game knows there is a reason behind the "silence is golden" proverb.

The moment you break up with her (or the moment she realizes you ghosted her), she does the only thing that brings power back to her: She never speaks to you again.

She doesn't respond to your bullsh*t "I miss you texts." (You don't break up with someone if you're going to miss him or her.)

She doesn't drunk text you, wanting to know answers. She doesn't grovel, beg or go haywire.

Sure, she will cry to her squad. Sure, she will go through an internal grieving process.

But she will be damned if you know about it. Instead, she takes the high road, and — with supreme discipline and emotional intelligence — continues her life without you.

She then prepares herself to play the game with another contender who might be a better man for her.
 
10 Reasons Dating An Alpha Isn’t As Intimidating As You Think
ByMargaret Makrouhi
Jan 19 2016
In society, there are the alphas, betas and omegas. Alphas are dominant, but not aggressive.

They're confident, but not cocky. They're leaders, but not dictators. They're kind, but not people-pleasers or pushovers.

The alpha female isn’t the stereotypical queen bee, and the alpha male isn’t the stereotypical assh*le.

We are, however, unique in the following ways:

1. We are independent.
We do not seek relationships because we are afraid of being alone. We seek relationships because of the enjoyment of companionship and the fun of meeting someone new.

We want to show our raw, erotic passion.

2. We aren't afraid of walking away.
We never worry about breakups.

You want to break up with an alpha? He or she will accept your decision and continue on with life. An alpha wants to break up with you? He or she will say, "This isn't going to work," and it will be done.

We forget the ones who forget us. At the first sign of bad behavior or bullsh*t, we will drop you like a hot potato.

There's no looking back and no second chances.

3. We have boundaries.
It's all about our time, our emotions, our bodies, our lives and our rules.

You live in our reality, and we don't live in yours. We have places to go, people to see and sh*t to do. We are too busy.

If you want a relationship with an alpha, you must understand that we will make an amendment in our schedules for you, but we won't accommodate you.

4. We are loyal.
Cheating, backstabbing, talking sh*t and lying are not in our behavioral vocabulary.

There is nothing we will say behind your back that we won't say to your face.

In fact, we prefer to say it to your face. We want to see your body language and facial expressions when we call you out.

Cheating? An impossibility. As long as you have our respect, you have our loyalty.

We don't get out of situations in the middle of the night or by tiptoeing out the back door. If we want to exit a relationship, we are leaving in bright daylight, out the front door and with the loudest bang you have ever heard.

5. We socialize with other alphas.
Alphas recognize other alphas.

We instantly notice the people in control of their lives and emotions. Our friends are not just buddies we shoot the sh*t with. They are our consultants.

Our social engagements involve discussing the world, ideas, theories, studies and problems. Our interactions with our friends are enlightening. We gather new wisdom to better our lives and ourselves.

6. We have little to no respect for betas and omegas.
If you have been betrayed or lied to, and you are still with the person who did that to you, you are a beta or omega.

If you ever took someone back who dumped your ass, you are a beta or omega. If you compare your life to other people's lives, you are a beta or omega.

If you are intimidated by any person on this planet (from your boss to President Obama), you are a beta or omega. Alphas do not respect people who don't respect themselves.

It's as simple as that.

7. We educate ourselves.
Alphas learn. Alphas read.

Alphas have personal enrichments. Alphas do sh*t.

We don't sit on our asses and watch mindless TV shows (unless we've just launched a business plan or finished a 45-page dissertation, and we feel like we can do nothing for a few minutes).

We keep physically and mentally active. We prefer to date people who also have lives filled with engagements.

8. We have a voice.
Remember: Alphas are the leaders. If we have an opinion about something, we are going to say it loud and clear.

Do we like you? We will say it. Did you just piss us off? We will also say it.

Do we feel you want to say something, but are holding back? We will push you until you say it.

9. We are fearless.
Fear has no place in our world. Fear is nonexistent.

We are clever enough to understand that any human fear must be met with acceptance.

Batman, for example, was scared sh*tless of bats. So, what did he do? You guessed it.

He sat in a cave with thousands of bats swarming all over him until his fear lost all power.

He walked out of the cave in complete control. The same concept goes for dating.

A million worries can pop into your mind when you're dating or falling in love with someone, but the only thought you should have should be, “I’ll take the risk and accept the uncertainty."

10. You’ll never be the same again.
Once you date an alpha, you’ll never be the same again.

How can you? You have encountered a person who knows who he or she is. Alphas don't spoon-feed their problems or insecurities to you.

They don't expect (or even want) you to be the emancipator of their lives.

They have standards, strive to be the best version of themselves, live with principles, are respected by their fellow alphas and are admired by betas and omegas.

In other words, they will bring nothing but richness to your life. These riches don't involve status, money or power.

Instead, they include loyalty, love, passion, intelligence and dignity.
 
Yesterday I was in the train and I’m pretty sure one of y’all was sitting across from me with her husband :laugh:

She was sitting with whom I’m assuming her husband (he had a band on his finger but she had on gloves) and for the stops between Franklin Avenue and Brooklyn College, he just talked the entire time. She sat there, listened, looked at him the entire time, smiled, shook her head, said ok, made comments no more than 5 words long expressing that she was listening and that was it. I took so many mental notes :laugh:
 
Saludable84 said:
It’s purple font/not purple font and I refuse to change.
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Girllll, because even though it's in purple font, I was still reading like this,

giphy.gif
 
ava2 said:
Love this thread!

There are some gems in here... thought I'd share :drunk:

10 Signs The Woman You're Dating Definitely Has Game
ByMargaret Makrouhi
Feb 12 2016
If you don't know by now that dating is a game, you are either in denial, or you're the world's most hopeless, romantic sap (with a lot to learn).

The truth is, dating is a game. The men who have “game" have their ways of playing, and the women who have “game" have their ways, too.

Sometimes, you win. Sometimes, you lose. Sometimes, you draw even. Some people may even have game without being aware of it.

So, who is the girl who has game? She's the girl who always seems to win. She's the girl whose love life resembles more of a calculated chess game than an abstract, "What the **** is happening?" painting.

She is the girl who gives relationship advice. She doesn't ask for it.

She's the girl who is always in power, and most importantly, she's the girl who knows when the game is coming to an end.

As Mae West says,

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.
These are the 10 ways you can tell you're dating a girl who knows what she's doing:

1. She is confident.
The girl with game has supreme confidence in who she is. She doesn't compare her physique, achievements, age or status to other women. She knows there are 3.5 billion women in this world, and yet, there is only one of her.

She doesn't flinch if she finds out your ex was a model or CEO. She is who she is, so you can either take it or leave it.

2. She has self-esteem.
The girl with game is the girl who knows how she should be treated. She is the one who breaks up with her boyfriend or husband if he cheated or demonstrated negative and unhealthy behavior.

She is the girl who notices the red flags right away, and she doesn't delude herself in an attempt to prolong the relationship. If she doesn't give herself sh*t, why would she take it from someone else?

She is her own best friend.

3. She doesn't chase or pursue you.
The girl with game reciprocates contact. She doesn't initiate it.

You won't be getting a text from her at 2 pm on a work day while she's at the office. You won't be getting a phone call from her on a school night when she has to study for finals.

You won't be hearing from her on a Friday or Saturday night because she will be out, socializing and having fun with her squad.

The girl with game knows she doesn't have to chase a man. He knows she exists, and if he wanted her in his life, he would make it happen.

Over and out.

4. She doesn't call or text you all the time, but she accepts dates.
The girl with game isn't about to give all her time to a man she's just met. He is nothing more than an attractive male who asked for her number. That's it.

She is wise enough to know you don't give your attention to any man who hasn't earned it yet. However, she is open to being pursued.

She might not text you every day or call you back right away, but if you ask her out (in advance), she will gladly accept.

5. She's mysterious.
The girl with game is elusive in character, especially in the early stages of dating. She says enough to answer your questions, but never to the point of disclosing private information.

She'll tell you she had a wonderful meal at the best French restaurant in the city, but she won't tell you who she went with. She'll mention she moved from Los Angeles a few years ago, but you won't know why. You'll know she paints, but she won't tell you where her art is displayed.

She's like a Russian doll. Her personality, career, family or social life and personal enrichments all come out slowly, after you two have spent time an appropriate amount of time together.

6. You are unsure of how she feels about you.
The girl with game is going to reciprocate enough attention for you to know she's a presence in your life, but not enough for you to know you have her. You'll feel like she is on the fence.

After all, she isn't texting or calling you non-stop, she isn't initiating dates and she isn't tagging you in Instagram photos or Tweeting at you. If you want to know how she feels about you, you'll have to simply ask her directly.

7. She's kind.
The girl with game is a quality girl. This means she is attractive and kind, hot and nice.

She isn't using you for free drinks, free meals or entertainment. She isn't being manipulative to see what she can get out of you.

She only gives her time and attention to men she likes or wants to get to know, but her standards are in check. The last thing she wants to do is appear eager, needy or aggressive.

She doesn't want to be in a situation that might open the door to unrequited love.

8. She's sexy without trying.
The girl with game is sexy, but in a subtle manner. You see her sexuality in her entire being without her even trying.

You'll see it in the way she walks in her stilettos, her sheer black tights, her natural hair, her soft, red, manicured hands and her coy, mischievous smile.

She is aware of the kind of lover she is, and she knows she will take you to paradise. But first, you have to prove yourself.

9. She has boundaries.
The girl with game isn't the girl who loses herself in love. She gives her time, affection, love and empathy to you, but not in excess.

She doesn't expect you to control her happiness, just as she doesn't want to control your happiness.

If you aren't interested in going to the ballet with her, she will go alone or with friends. If she doesn't want to see the UFC championship with you and your friends, she won't go.

She isn't afraid to say or hear the word "no." After all, she is diplomatic in relationships.

10. She doesn't contact you after you ghost or break up with her.
The girl with game has mastered the hardest skill in the game of dating: how to handle it when a man breaks up with her or ghosts her. Both situations are very hard, especially when you've unveiled and accepted the truth.

Someone you liked (or even loved) has decided he or she doesn't want to be in your life anymore. However, the girl with game knows there is a reason behind the "silence is golden" proverb.

The moment you break up with her (or the moment she realizes you ghosted her), she does the only thing that brings power back to her: She never speaks to you again.

She doesn't respond to your bullsh*t "I miss you texts." (You don't break up with someone if you're going to miss him or her.)

She doesn't drunk text you, wanting to know answers. She doesn't grovel, beg or go haywire.

Sure, she will cry to her squad. Sure, she will go through an internal grieving process.

But she will be damned if you know about it. Instead, she takes the high road, and — with supreme discipline and emotional intelligence — continues her life without you.

She then prepares herself to play the game with another contender who might be a better man for her.
Click to expand...
:goodpost:Great nuggets in this post! Thanks OP.
 
If any of you got time, listen to SheRaSeven1 on YouTube. She has A LOT of live streams (which are good because she’s answering questions) and teaches a lot. She’s a little hood but don’t let it distract you from the message. Her videos are long too, but good info. You might not agree with everything she says, but there is a mentality behind all of it.

Overall, the best challenge you can be is to level up and stay away from Dusty and Give Me More an nem.
 
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