How Often Do You Have Sex?

Thump said:
I am not married and never will be but I cannot even fathom being with someone that I'm not attracted to. If I am in love with you and you get severely burned in a fire, that is not going to change the fact that I love you and I ain't going no where, because if I am in love with you that means I am attracted to more than your outward appearance.

Now sis, why are you not getting your toes curled on the regular and you got a man? Inquiring minds want to know :lachen:
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ElegantPearl17 said:
Are you in an arranged marriage? Why be with someone your not attracted to?
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Sorry, I wasn't clear. I'm single and looking, but currently celibate. What I meant was that I do not have a partner but I still have time with myself lol.

I also am not into sex with a partner I'm not attracted to but I know women are all different and some are married to men who may not physically be their type or they may have differences in drive, etc.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
I've read something similar which is why we don't sleep in separate beds or not touch during the 12 day separation period.


I'm not officially Orthodox yet but it's in the works. The decision to observe family purity predates my second conversion though.
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Interesting. My knowledge of lived Judaism ends at the medieval period. I don't really know how modern Jews work within the 'letter of the (Mosaic) law'. I'm familiar with the mikvah, but I didn't know about the (relatively) modern convention of the whole extra, proscribed seven days of niddah. Learn something new everyday. :lol:

Taureans like structure. We're on a structured path as well. :look: If you don't mind me asking, did you drag him deeper into 'his' religion or did he lead you there?
 
doll-baby said:
We have spikes, this week we did it 3 nights in a row. Some weeks we may not do anything at all. We don't feel pressure to meet a weekly quota.
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Yeah, we go through phases with actual intercourse. It seems to be seasonal, too. Sometimes I disappear from the board for a few days- that's where I be, recovering. :lol: But there's always some intimate contact. 17 yrs and going strong. :yep:
 
I think its important to make time for the good stuff. Often times we are so busy and think man I don't want to take my clothes off, get in the mood etc etc but you'd be surprised how great you feel after.
Also, Im big on intimacy, sometimes i see couples that are sooooo disconnected and it's because they are not indulging in not just sex but intimacy ( touching each other, hugs, massages) dh and I had the best long talk after our session last night, the talk and the sex/intimacy was equally needed.

Im the queen of 8 hours of sleep and if I don't get it im disgruntled but you find the time that works for the schedule.

sheanu said:
How do y'all get anything done though? Am I just using my time poorly? Maybe two sessions per week. Each session is at least an hour so to do that more than twice per week means I miss out on sleep or don't get my work done or something. We still can't manage quickies so I can't up my count :cry3::cry3::(
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FemmeCreole said:
Ok so nobody knows? Does the libido get back to normal? It's been 2 years since my child was born and it's still low. I want to get back to what it was before!!
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After I had our son, it took about 3 years to really want it again. If I didn't ever see a D I would have been ok. No matter what kind of supplements or herbs I took, nothing helped. And when it finally came back it was intermittent.

For the first two years I was so tired. Our son was born at 32 weeks (but was 28 weeks gestation) so once he finally came home, I was so nervous and stared at him while he slept just to make sure my pumpkin was ok. So instead of the old, "you sleep when they sleep" I was just awake. My husband worked like 3 jobs so I could stay home so it was me and my little pooh-pooh with and no one else to help lighten the load. When I did return to work I still wasn't sleeping and there was always something that took precedents so sex just wasn't a priority. On top of all that, I'd gained so much weight that I didn't feel sexy anymore. If I don't feel sexy it is hard to get in the mood (IDK - crazy). Of course, my husband didn't give a d*** what I looked like, he just wanted his balls to stop being blue!

After my emotions, hormones and weight balanced out I was good to go. It takes time and everybody is different - don't rush it and mistakenly throw things further off kilter. Good luck sweet pea.
 
Honey Bee said:
Interesting. My knowledge of lived Judaism ends at the medieval period. I don't really know how modern Jews work within the 'letter of the (Mosaic) law'. I'm familiar with the mikvah, but I didn't know about the (relatively) modern convention of the whole extra, proscribed seven days of niddah. Learn something new everyday. :lol:
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The letter of the law has an asterick next to it. A lot of the Orthodox just haven't done alot of these things any differently so while I find a whole lot of what they do inconveninent, it's all just routine to them.

The thing about Niddah is it seems antiquated but in practice I find it makes me more thoughtful and appreciative of the the physical part of our relationship. I had to grapple with my own cultural issues because I was suspicious of a dude foregoing sex for that long even for religious reasons. I'm like he's getting some from somewhere but as I learned his nuances I'm pretty comfortable with identifying when his tank is full, middling or on E.

Honey Bee said:
Taureans like structure. We're on a structured path as well. :look: If you don't mind me asking, did you drag him deeper into 'his' religion or did he lead you there?
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We equally corrupt and inspire each other dogmatically. He says he didn't know he had taste buds until I started to cook for him so his kosher observance has become more lax but he goes to service and celebrates more Jewish holidays than he did before we met.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
The letter of the law has an asterick next to it. A lot of the Orthodox just haven't done alot of these things any differently so while I find a whole lot of what they do inconveninent, it's all just routine to them.

The thing about Niddah is it seems antiquated but in practice I find it makes me more thoughtful and appreciative of the the physical part of our relationship. I had to grapple with my own cultural issues because I was suspicious of a dude foregoing sex for that long even for religious reasons. I'm like he's getting some from somewhere but as I learned his nuances I'm pretty comfortable with identifying when his tank is full, middling or on E.


We equally corrupt and inspire each other dogmatically. He says he didn't know he had taste buds until I started to cook for him so his kosher observance has become more lax but he goes to service and celebrates more Jewish holidays than he did before we met.
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Most of religion seems antiquated, that's part of the fun. :lol:

Your relationship dynamic sounds very familiar to me. :lol: I too went through a phase of, 'If you ain't getting it from me, where are you getting it???!' After annoying him mightily, it occurred to me that I was judging him on somebody else's standard. To bring this back around to the topic lol, I find that he and I function almost like... ascetics who love sex. There might also be some Tantra involved here, can't say as I haven't studied it. But we save up the sexual energy and use it for focus. Then, after a while, we do our little hieros gamos thing. If we had sex every single day all the time, I don't know how I'd ever get anything done, tbh. :lol:
 
Bad&Bougee said:
After I had our son, it took about 3 years to really want it again. If I didn't ever see a D I would have been ok. No matter what kind of supplements or herbs I took, nothing helped. And when it finally came back it was intermittent.

For the first two years I was so tired. Our son was born at 32 weeks (but was 28 weeks gestation) so once he finally came home, I was so nervous and stared at him while he slept just to make sure my pumpkin was ok. So instead of the old, "you sleep when they sleep" I was just awake. My husband worked like 3 jobs so I could stay home so it was me and my little pooh-pooh with and no one else to help lighten the load. When I did return to work I still wasn't sleeping and there was always something that took precedents so sex just wasn't a priority. On top of all that, I'd gained so much weight that I didn't feel sexy anymore. If I don't feel sexy it is hard to get in the mood (IDK - crazy). Of course, my husband didn't give a d*** what I looked like, he just wanted his balls to stop being blue!

After my emotions, hormones and weight balanced out I was good to go. It takes time and everybody is different - don't rush it and mistakenly throw things further off kilter. Good luck sweet pea.
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Thanks for sharing!
 
Honey Bee said:
Most of religion seems antiquated, that's part of the fun. :lol:

Your relationship dynamic sounds very familiar to me. :lol: I too went through a phase of, 'If you ain't getting it from me, where are you getting it???!' After annoying him mightily, it occurred to me that I was judging him on somebody else's standard. To bring this back around to the topic lol, I find that he and I function almost like... ascetics who love sex. There might also be some Tantra involved here, can't say as I haven't studied it. But we save up the sexual energy and use it for focus. Then, after a while, we do our little hieros gamos thing. If we had sex every single day all the time, I don't know how I'd ever get anything done, tbh. :lol:
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Umm wat? I started googling but the rabbit hole got too deep..and confusing :look: Explain.
 
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keyawarren said:
Umm wat? I started googling but the rabbit hole got too deep..and confusing :look: Explain.
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Yeah... :look: how far did you get and where did you end up? It's essentially alchemy, bringing opposites into harmony. Energy work, an exchange. :look:

We didn't fall into it on purpose. Its just... how it is between us. I noted it from the beginning. When we first got together, our astrology said we had a natural kundalini thing going. I haven't studied the eastern arts so I don't know if this is it, but it sounds about right. Remember I was telling you about an... encounter :look: we had that led directly, within minutes, to a phone call we had been hoping for? That was this, I think.

And that's all I'm willing to say publicly. :lol: :sekret:
 
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Interesting thread.

Just curious...How old are some of you ladies? How old are your DH / SO?

It is wonderful that you all are in a long term relationship and is still getting it in. But you do not find the older you get (talking about 50/60 and up) your drive gets less and less?

What about your DH/SO? I know for a lot of men 50 and over, they have difficulties getting and keeping it up.
 
luvmesumhair said:
Interesting thread.

Just curious...How old are some of you ladies? How old are your DH / SO?

It is wonderful that you all are in a long term relationship and is still getting it in. But you do not find the older you get (talking about 50/60 and up) your drive gets less and less?

What about your DH/SO? I know for a lot of men 50 and over, they have difficulties getting and keeping it up.
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Interesting. I work with men in their 50s and 60s and they frown at me because they think my husband and I don't have enough sex (we are in our early 40s) They aren't just talking - I know their wives as well so I know for a fact they are still going strong in their late years. I also know of a man in his 60s who cannot get it up with his wife but has no issues getting it up with others so maybe it's more mental than physical......?
 
luvmesumhair said:
Interesting thread.

Just curious...How old are some of you ladies? How old are your DH / SO?

It is wonderful that you all are in a long term relationship and is still getting it in. But you do not find the older you get (talking about 50/60 and up) your drive gets less and less?

What about your DH/SO? I know for a lot of men 50 and over, they have difficulties getting and keeping it up.
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I'm 44 and he's about to be 49. Married almost 6 years and I don't see any sign of him slowing down but decreased sex drive on both our ends is one of the things I lightweight worry about getting older.
 
I'm 42, he's 47, been married 16 years. On average, we have sex about three times a week. During vacation, were a little more active simply because we're getting more sleep, we're both more relaxed, etc... I don't see any signs of him slowing down.
 
Married and I don't feel pressure to keep a schedule. Last 3 weeks, almost everyday. This week, tonight will be the first time. We seem to have periods of a lot and then periods of once or twice a week. On average, I would say 2-3 times a week.
 
I see this fallacy all the time. They can still get it up at 50 or over. I slept with a cpl and wished they could keep it down! however, if some are on blood pressure meds then that could cause impotence. I've known men in their 30s who had hbp and took meds that made them impotent.

also the ssri class of drugs for depression and anxiety causes impotence as well.

a healthy male with healthy mental and heart function can do it just fine.

luvmesumhair said:
Interesting thread.
Click to expand...
luvmesumhair said:
Just curious...How old are some of you ladies? How old are your DH / SO?

It is wonderful that you all are in a long term relationship and is still getting it in. But you do not find the older you get (talking about 50/60 and up) your drive gets less and less?

What about your DH/SO? I know for a lot of men 50 and over, they have difficulties getting and keeping it up.
Click to expand...
 
Sumra said:
I will be trying the Forty Bead method as of tomorrow :)
http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/988845/forty-beads-does-it-really-work

Seems to work for most of the reviewers so its worth a try. I can have the sex sessions, but my real desire for sex has gone down a lot since having a lot of stress last year.
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That's a great idea. It's really awkward sometimes when you're horny as hell but don't know how to tell your partner. It's good to have a clear, unmistakable, signal for that.
 
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