How long do you wait before giving it up?

[UrbainChic]

Also it takes 2 people to have sex. OP you cannot advise the girl he is dating, but he is fully capable of keeping it in his pants. FULLY CAPABLE.

 

[mischka]

FOREVER or until he comes up with a dowry.

 

[gabulldawg]

This thread is awesome. But seriously. I used to think that classier women waited longer to have sex. But that's not always the case. Now let's be real. If you're giving up the drawers on the first night I am going to question your morals. But that's just me and my humble opinion.

 

[Mai Tai]

Honestly I am curious what folks opinions are and I have no reason to judge folks based on their responses here. I am Caribbean and it is frowned upon for a women to sleep with a guy right away but I know the American culture is a lot more casual about sex.

I don't see anything wrong telling my friend his girl seems easy, he is saying she moves too fast for him and he does not want any pressure.

She wants a child and has told him this already and that is why I said I don't trust her motives and is moving fast. I just don't see it ending well. He is my friend so of course I want the best for him but I understand he is an adult and will do what he wants.

My post really is about how soon is to soon. I gave a back story because that is what got me thinking about it. I really did not need to share the backstory had I known it would offend some.

I can assure you that the only person he's complaining to is you.

 

[Thiends]

It's not a drink; it's a lifestyle.

Ah, women.

 

[Kinkyhairlady]

OP didn't you create the "Baby momma's partying like.. " thread?

you come off a bit uptight and that's fine if that works for u but all this judgment is starting to sound as if you are the champion of the moral high ground and other are usually drifting in the valley.

I'm not a babymama nor a loose booty but I let people do them...being so judgmental of others is not only bad b/c the bible says so but people will eventually sense that on you and may not wanna deal with you.

Seriously, keep it light...allow grown people to be grown.

I did start that thread and again it was due to a personal experience. If these things are going on in front of me I have a right to disapprove and give an opinion, these are people who are close to me. The baby momma thread was not meant to down single mothers, it was an observation I made with many single mothers I know partying and not staying home with their kids.

I live my life and I try to walk a straight line due to my religion, upbringing and moral character. Am I perfect? No I'm not but I try to do what I can to not put myself in compromising positions. Not everyone is like me and I get it but I am still entitled to my own opinion.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

Thiends - I knew you were lurkin in da waters when I heard the Jaws music playin in da background lolololol....wassup chile!

Ok. Back to our regularly scheduled program.

 

[mischka]

Morals, or should i say "morals" are overrated *shrug*

 

[Thiends]

@Thiends - I knew you were lurkin in da waters when I heard the Jaws music playin in da background lolololol....wassup chile!

Ok. Back to our regularly scheduled program.

@ThatJerseyGirl: Girl, as you pointed out, the real Jaws lurking up in here is OP giving the girlfriend the side-eye because she likes homeboy. @Kinkyhairlady: I'm not mad at your game of encouraging your boy to compare and contrast in the hopes he'll notice you're the real lady and leave that chick alone...but we see you. We see you, girl.

 

[MzLady78]

I can assure you that the only person he's complaining to is you.

Girl, you ain't neva lied!

I'd bet my next paycheck he wasn't saying to his boys "I feel so pressured to tap that a** and I don't like it".

 

[hopeful]

I don't think anyone would mind your opinion so much if you were being judgmental of both the man and the woman, but to put the woman down while still being comfy with being friends with an immoral guy who "tests" women is a bit odd and unfair. You seem to understand him and have compassion for him, but have little concern for her.

 

[mischka]

This is what I said in the other thread - women are more interested in forcing chastity on women than men are. Why do people work against their interests?

 

[Xavier]

He said he puts every women through a test, he seduces them and sees how far he can get. If they agree he goes with it. Funny his ex made him wait 2 years and he used to call me complaining every week but she was a classy women and he even says he's yet to meet another woman like her.

So she waited two years to give up the goods and now they are not together.

Who broke up with who?

Anyway, I think the women care more about this stuff than men. If a man likes you he will not run in the other direction if you give it up in 3 weeks. It all boils down to whether or not they feel like you both have more in common than just sex. Of course most men don't want a woman who is known for being a h@e...

 

[Kinkyhairlady]

@ThatJerseyGirl: Girl, as you pointed out, the real Jaws lurking up in here is OP giving the girlfriend the side-eye because she likes homeboy. @Kinkyhairlady: I'm not mad at your game of encouraging your boy to compare and contrast in the hopes he'll notice you're the real lady and leave that chick alone...but we see you. We see you, girl.

Don't you think if I liked him I would of been with him long ago? The guy is like my brother.

I never realized there was anything wrong with giving a friend advice. He never said he felt pressure to sleep with her. He said he felt pressure to settle down with her. He basically does not mind the sex but does not want to marry anytime soon.

I am sure he told his boys his already smashed it, and Haitian men think any women who gives it up so soon is a hoe. He is not my only male friend so I know what they be saying.

Eta: it seems you ladies think I don't tell him about himself but I do. I have lectured him a million times about playing with these women. I told him not to string this girl along if he is not going to be serious. At the time I had not known they slept eachother so if he does do her wrong oh well I'm sorry for her. I've told him numerous of times he needs time to heal but I guess this the only way he can heal idk.

 

[Thiends]

This is what I said in the other thread - women are more interested in forcing chastity on women than men are. Why do people work against their interests?

Nah, women are less interested in chastity than they are in playing age-old power games. There is a lot of social cache in being the "good girl", but there can't be a "good girl" if there isn't a less moral, less wifely, less pure "bad girl" to whom the "good girl" can be compared. So, what we see a lot of women doing is helping men identify "bad girls" in order to set themselves up to be placed on pedestals. It isn't about being interested in other women's activities (since many of these self-identified "good girls" are getting their backs thrown out on the regular and many "bad girls" are less experienced but just less discreet); It's about gaining power at other women's expense.

 

[mischka]

that's exactly what I meant. Damn shame, too.

 

[Xavier]

Cause he is a darn fool, he called off their wedding 1 month prior cause he got cold feet. She sued him and he well has been dating a bunch women but nothing stable, still regrets his decision. He says he likes this new girl but she really seems easy and in a hurry to me. I don't trust her motives but that is another story.

Damn!!! If I waited two years to give up the kitty and homeboy got cold feet and called off the wedding, I would be on an episode of Snapped.

 

[Thiends]

Damn!!! If I waited two years to give up the kitty and homeboy got cold feet and called off the wedding, I would be on an episode of Snapped.

 

[itsjusthair88]

Soooo....is he easy too? I'm just trying to glean an opinion here for my own edification. But since I won't be answered, I'm going to say you don't think he's easy...?

Hey, I wasn't raised in America either, and I've found that chastity and loose women are the same EVERYWHERE (although I disagree with the definition of "loose"), so it's not the American ideal of casual sex that's the problem here. You feel like morally, sex in 3 weeks is wrong, and that's your prerogative and I get it.

So, why not just wait until marriage? I mean morally speaking, that's right, right?

 

[mischka]

Soooo....is he easy too? I'm just trying to glean an opinion here for my own edification. But since I won't be answered, I'm going to say you don't think he's easy...?

She says no, his actions are just the result of extenuating circumstances, totally excusable and justfiable and a-ok.

 

[itsjusthair88]

She says no, his actions are just the result of extenuating circumstances, totally excusable and justfiable and a-ok.

Well then...I'm glad I got that cleared up...

Ya'll ladies keep it right and keep it tight, stay good with the Lord and if you learned one lesson today it's that any men NOT from America don't like loose women and do not have sex with them, it's just a big test.

Deuces.

 

[Kinkyhairlady]

She says no, his actions are just the result of extenuating circumstances, totally excusable and justfiable and a-ok.

Where did I say no? Lol, wow! I clearly said yes he is easy like most men, cause most men won't say no to sex!

 

[mischka]

I thought you said his actions were just the result of his break up. I'm not going to debate it because even though you threw in some line about men in general, you clearly aren't judging this guy by the same moral stick you're beating this girl over the head with, so it don't really matter

 

[Kinkyhairlady]

I thought you said his actions were just the result of his break up. I'm not going to debate it because even though you threw in some line about men in general, you clearly aren't judging this guy by the same moral stick you're beating this girl over the head with, so it don't really matter

As mentioned I don't mean to offend anyone on here, I asked an honest question and I am getting jump for it. I told my friend I think she is easy and be careful. I don't know the girl so I am not going to sit and bad mouth her. I commented on what he told me and to me it was too soon. He has known her for 3 weeks which means he's been sleeping with her possibly the first or second week. If you all don't find that too quick then idk what to think.

 

[Mai Tai]

As mentioned I don't mean to offend anyone on here, I asked an honest question and I am getting jump for it. I told my friend I think she is easy and be careful. I don't know the girl so I am not going to sit and bad mouth her. I commented on what he told me and to me it was too soon. He has known her for 3 weeks which means he's been sleeping with her possibly the first or second week. If you all don't find that too quick then idk what to think.

So you don't consider calling a woman, or girl (in your words), that you never met, "easy" as bad mouthing her?

What? Were you using that word as a term of endearment? I am soooooooo confused...

 

[UrbainChic]

As mentioned I don't mean to offend anyone on here, I asked an honest question and I am getting jump for it. I told my friend I think she is easy and be careful. I don't know the girl so I am not going to sit and bad mouth her. I commented on what he told me and to me it was too soon. He has known her for 3 weeks which means he's been sleeping with her possibly the first or second week. If you all don't find that too quick then idk what to think.

I think its the way you addressed it putting a lot of blame on the woman. I don't mean to offend you or come across as confrontational on this topic, but they both made the decision, not just her. If he values chastity so much why is he "testing" every woman to see what he can find?

Sure its pretty fast, sure there is a lot at risk, but the risk of STD, pregnancy, hurt feelings, things going to fast do not have anything to do with her character and her character alone. The fact that her character is unknown to him is something to think about, but she may very well be a nice girl who thinks she's in love, rolleyes: that would be so misguided) finds herself falling for him, or thinks this means something or maybe she just doesnt see sex as something important to wait for at all, she could be a very faithful girlfriend or an unfaithful one. Who knows! The point is that the possibilities are endless.

Also: I am more than familiar with Haitian values.

 

[imaccami]

Damn!!! If I waited two years to give up the kitty and homeboy got cold feet and called off the wedding, I would be on an episode of Snapped.

But she didn't wait 2 yrs, she waited her entire life!! She was a virgin! She gives it up and then this dude calls off the wedding and goes on a sexing spree. Giving tests and what not. He's messed up in the head and probably has a Madonna-Whore complex. You couldn't pay me to date this guy.

 

[VelvetRain]

As mentioned I don't mean to offend anyone on here, I asked an honest question and I am getting jump for it. I told my friend I think she is easy and be careful. I don't know the girl so I am not going to sit and bad mouth her. I commented on what he told me and to me it was too soon. He has known her for 3 weeks which means he's been sleeping with her possibly the first or second week. If you all don't find that too quick then idk what to think.

You do realize where you posted all of this. You really can't be surprised at the responses.

 

[Incognitus]

Ya'll are going a little bit too hard on OP. erplexed

Ditto.erplexed

@Kinkyhairlady: I'm not mad at your game of encouraging your boy to compare and contrast in the hopes he'll notice you're the real lady and leave that chick alone...but we see you. We see you, girl.

ROFL Hahaha...

Girl, you ain't neva lied!

I'd bet my next paycheck he wasn't saying to his boys "I feel so pressured to tap that a** and I don't like it".

You ladies are cracking me up....rofl

 

[azuquita_morena]

"Giving it up"? Can we please bury this phrase forever, please?! Luckily, I haven't ran into a guy who talks like this "friend", because he would get shut down within seconds for spouting such B.S.