Do Men Really Respect You More if you "Wait"/Make Him Wait???

Do Men Really Value Having To Wait for the Nookie Anymore?

  • Absolutely! They may say otherwise, but in the end, it’s always worth the wait!

    Votes: 337 66.7%

  • Heck No! If you wait, you may lose out on a “great thing!”

    Votes: 27 5.3%

  • Undecided/I don't know

    Votes: 141 27.9%
  • Total voters
    505
spelmanlocks said:
Definitely!! It is definitely not something I'd treat like my hand or some other body part. I made my SO wait a very, very long time and now we're getting married. It let me know that was a definite keeper. In my opinion if a man is willing to wait you can almost bet he'll be around for a while.
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That's where I'm at right now. It's a year officially tomorrow and he's not pressured me one bit- I never knew this could happen. Reading this thread and everyone's opinions has reminded me how much this man loves me.
 
ThatJerseyGirl said:
Since I didn't take the time out to read the entire thread, for what it's worth, I think when you give it up too soon, the art of pursuit is now gone. The chase, the thrill of it all is gone. In fact for both parties, because now, what do you have to look forward to? More sex? Then, it becomes a relationship based on sex.

My $0.02 worth...
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Basic human nature. Well said
 
Everything Zen said:
That's where I'm at right now. It's a year officially tomorrow and he's not pressured me one bit- I never knew this could happen. Reading this thread and everyone's opinions has reminded me how much this man loves me.
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I haven't read the whole thread but I find that the ones who do this don't have much swagger. I wouldn't say I am attracted to the thug type but I haven't met any celibate guy that has much swagger and I am not usually attracted to them.

Does your guy have that masculine swagger and were you initially attracted to him?
 
I do believe men respect you more if you wait. As a close male friend of mine said, "No matter who the man is he likes a chase. If you give up the goods too early there is nothing to keep the man's interest because you don't have any kind of foundation to fall back on. An easy woman can turn a nice guy into a dog".
 
BK Bombshell said:
I think it has more to do with the other qualities the man is looking for. If you have them, great. If not, all the waiting in the world is not going to help you.
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january noir said:
I just had to add this...
I've played it both ways and this is what I found out...

When a man wants to be with you in a "legitimate" relationship, waiting or not waiting for sex WILL NOT be an issue.
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I agree with this. When it comes to a *mature* man - i.e. the type of man you want to be with anyway. A man who doesn't have a double standard about female sexuality, and really likes you for you, will not hold it against you that you slept with him early.

On the other hand, I think that *if a woman is looking for a long term relationship*, then she should wait *for herself*. I.e. give herself a chance to get to know a man and know if she really wants to get intimate and exposed with him like that. At least tick off moral, intellectual and emotional compatibility before ticking off sexual compatibility. But then, if all you're looking for is a shag, none of that matters.
 
It sounds antiquated but I know for a fact that many fathers still teach their sons that there are two kinds of women: the ones that you date and the ones that you aren't seen with in public. Many times not waiting somehow gives the guy permission to place the woman in the latter category.
 
You can have sex with a guy and he'll want to see you again.:yep:
You can have sex with a guy and he'll never want to see you again.:yep:

You can not have sex with a guy and he'll want to see you again:yep:
You can not have sex with a guy and he'll never want to see you again.:yep:

bottom line - do what you want....:grin:
 
Making him wait is not a guarantee that he is going to stick around after he gets some and having sex on the first night doesn't mean there won't be a relationship. A relationship is gonna be what it's going to be regardless, I know plenty of wives who got it on with their husbands on the first date. I know a few females who thought that waiting will turn their man into their husbands and got a big ole surprise. To be celibate should be a choice that you make for yourself not for the sake of getting something you want in the end. Your chocha is not an insurance policy.

Me personally, I've done both. And really there is no difference. If I wasn't ready to do it, I didn't do it. When I did it the first night the attraction and compatibility was established and undeniable so I did so with no regrets and knew very well I was going to do it before we even got to the atmosphere of doing it. Either way they've turned into relationships and no they weren't/aren't just based on sex. Some women can get away with it and some can't. I'm definately a woman who can if I want to based on experience and I've never felt disrespect afterwards, quite the opposite.

Men with experience with the two and what their action was should be answering this question. A poll asking a bunch of women what a man will do and why is pointless.
 
I've kinda skimmed through this post but I'm on the phone with a guy friend of mine and he say's that its a turn off for a female to give up the goods on the first night and that if he really likes the girl he wouldn't mind waiting but at the same time he says if he just wants to "cut" the girl up he still wouldn't do it the same night
 
I'm really feeling this guy I'm with now. We aren't on the monogamous level yet but I feel as if he wants it to be just me and him dating exclusively. I just got out of a rough relationship and sometimes I have to catch myself cause' I get upset thinking he is going to do some of the things the other guy did and that's not right to him.

I was trying my hardest to be celibate but if we end up falling in love, which I can see easily happening, then it is ova.

We were talking about relationships and he said, "If you are in a loving relationship and the man is spending time caring for your emotional needs, in building the relationship, overall energy and money...basically loving you the way you want to be loved....then why wouldn't you want to have sex with him?" He said that he could see for religious purposes though so that is good.

I honestly am kind of conflicted in my mind about this because on one hand I want to be celibate and on the other, I know it's going to be hard.

But anyhow, I think I will make him wait until December but that's one side of me speaking, the other side says don't do it!:spinning:
 
Its depends on the guy, but for my generation I dont necessarily think that's the case. Plenty girls I know have relationships where they wanted to have relations :look: from the get go and they are still together.
 
when it comes to respect its about how you present yourself and how you carry yourself

there are women who give it up who men dont respect
women who make them wait who men dont respect
women who do give it up and men respect
women who dont give it up and men respect

depends on the man and woman involved

my motto to all my fellow female sisters is men will treat u how u allow them too

how u carry yourself, your confidence, your vibe, your esteem levels, etc all play a part in how a man will treat you whether you choosin givin it up quick or makin the choice to wait
 
I've been reading some of the posts and it's very interesting, men will judge you on how soon, late, or not at all you give them some, regardless on how mature/immature the guy is, so whatever you do, do it knowing that you can't keep man, start a relationship if he doesn't want to be in a relationship and that's separate from whether you have sex or not.

I think it really depends on both the woman and the man and what they want. I don't think waiting should be automatically seen as a "game". I do believe you should be yourself and if being yourself means you're like Samantha Jones and sex is your goal then don't make a guy wait cause you think you'll get a real relationship or marriage out of it, that's running a game.

If you believe you should wait until you know the person better and can trust them and need the emotional part 1st before you hit it, then wait.

If you won't get down until you're married and that's your personal feelings (and waiting until marriage doesn't have to be religion based to be valid either, it's about respecting you and who YOU really are and what you need for yourself) then don't give it up just to hook/keep/run a guy, cause then you're being untrue to yourself and playing games. If you get burned you'll feel twice as bad then if he just left you or you broke up and you still kept your own values.

Of course a man is a man and he's going to test you, but be honest and make it clear what you want. If a man is willing to wait for you I don't think that kills his swagger actually it makes him more attractive, it means he's all about you, not just himself, correction not just his little friend. Guys who are forever pressuring you to have sex when you're not feeling the time is right are just plain selfish, I mean does he have a bet going on, is there a deadline, time limit, I would be asking myself that.

Keep this in mind:
1. Always respect yourself. ie your values, beliefs, what you want for yourself etc...
2. NEVER change yourself for a man, under ANY circumstances, or in ANY way. Refer back to #1.
Then you're just using a new trick to get/keep a man and the real you will slip out eventually.
 
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as many said it depends on the person, male and female. and the age group...i'm in my 30's.

my last boyfriend i wouldn't say i made him wait but it happened when we both felt it was right. not sure if it was early to this surveys criteria or not. it was month 2 or so in the courting.

there are other aspects to a relationship than sex and it all balances out if you connect on different levels. IMO.

I didn't answer the poll.
 
I have always been the type that preferred to wait at least two-three months because it is very hard to get to know someone. S*#t some women are married and are still learning new things about their SO. But when you are an adult you can do whatever you want to do as long as you are aware of the consequences behind your actions. If there is a jones in your bones that you want John Doe to take care of, strap it up, and don't expect him to want a relationship in the morning! But in turn, my friend slept with this guy on the first night and they were attached to the hip for three straight years after that so you never know!

I think what men don't respect in women that give it up fast is the expectancy of the sex meaning anything more than what it was. They are disgusted when a women gives it up quick and is trying to introduce him to the kids the next day! But when you give it up and then ignore his calls for about 48 hours, he's at your door with flowers . You just can never know!

However I am not flying the celibacy flag if I am not also correcting the wrongs in my life that are in other areas. I do not get how some women holla being celibate so God can bless them with the perfect beau, or bless the union of she and the SO, and their body's being temples....But they drink, curse, start sh%t, gossip, etc., etc. I would think that you have to live your ENTIRE life right to reap the full benefits of celibacy when practicing it for religious purposes.
 
What about heavy petting and making out? I told some male friends my 3 months rule. They said it was too long especially if there is no oral involved or heavy kissing. They said the guy would wait but would be getting it on the side.
 
Country gal said:
What about heavy petting and making out? I told some male friends my 3 months rule. They said it was too long especially if there is no oral involved or heavy kissing. They said the guy would wait but would be getting it on the side.
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Stay in control. It's still better to stand your ground.

A woman should never give in for fear of losing a man. He'll sense it and run with whatever she gives up and then she will end up being the one on the side. The 'side' is cheap and less respected.
 
Shimmie said:
Stay in control. It's still better to stand your ground.

A woman should never give in for fear of losing a man. He'll sense it and run with whatever she gives up and then she will end up being the one on the side. The 'side' is cheap and less respected.
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I agree but it is interesting what males think. My female friends think along the same lines as I do about waiting it out.
 
Country gal said:
What about heavy petting and making out? I told some male friends my 3 months rule. They said it was too long especially if there is no oral involved or heavy kissing. They said the guy would wait but would be getting it on the side.
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He will be getting it on the side, IMO.

During that time he might come to his senses and stop but good look finding one that will wait you out.
 
MizzBrown said:
Gimme his brothers, cousins, friends number....:look:

And how do you know he waited? Did he tell you? Your heart just knew?

Cause folks only tell you what they want you to know IMO. There is no way for me to check behind him.
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its called trust...you cant question everything a man does.........could a woman be wrong? yes...but thats up to that woman to deal with...why act suspicious if there isnt anything to act suspicious about?...if you want him to trust you, you have to trust him..He has to give you reasons to not trust him...let him go out of his way for you. ...not all men are scum, although ive bumped into a few jerks... if man wants you he will make it LOUD and CLEAR...... (another poster said this once) of his intentions point, blank, simple,end of story, no conversion chart necessary.....might mess around and change his whole life for you so that you understand its all ABOUT YOU!...
 
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Yes they do RESPECT you. For some men that doesn't mean they will continue to DATE you lol. I an currently holding up the "V" card and until I found my Soulmate, most guys that I've dated had the attitude of respecting me but to them sex in a relationship was important. Having completely different views made us part ways but, all for the better!
 
ebonybelle said:
its called trust...you cant question everything a man does.........

could a woman be wrong? yes...but thats up to that woman to deal with...why act suspicious if there isnt anything to act suspicious about?...if you want him to trust you, you have to trust him..He has to give you reasons to not trust him...let him go out of his way for you.

...not all men are scum, although ive bumped into a few jerks... if man wants you he will make it LOUD and CLEAR...... (another poster said this once) of his intentions point, blank, simple,end of story, no conversion chart necessary.....might mess around and change his whole life for you so that you understand its all ABOUT YOU!...[/quote]

:clapping: :notworthy: I sure do wish we had a standing ovation smiley because you sure deserve one for this ENTIRE post.

:thankyou: :thankyou: :thankyou:

All you spoke here was the truth.

One thing I've learned is that we cannot spend/waste our lives 'worrying' about what people. We have to trust and if the trust is not there, then leave it, move on, get out of the relationship or do not get into one with the man, if you cannot trust him.

The most important thing is to trust God; for He will not leave us nor forsake us and He will always take care of what we 'commit' to Him in His care. Whatever we dedicate to the Lord, He takes care of it/them. And He will not leave us helpless.

For the man in your life, just pray,

"Lord he's yours; take care of every care that I have about him and lead and keep us in your Truth. Deliver him from all evil and lead him not into temptation.

Keep him as the apple of your eye and lead us not astray. He's yours and therefore I lay it all down, every care at your feet, for you never fail to perfect all that concerns me, no matter what it is. In Jesus's name, Amen and Amen.
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