Do Men Really Respect You More if you "Wait"/Make Him Wait???

[GreenD]

I've had this discussion with my hubby and male friends and they say that if a woman is willing to give it up too soon, they don't think twice about her. She's nothing more than a piece of *fun*. They said that if the woman is willing to have sex with them that soon, then they'll probably do the same to the next man that comes along.

I think it just goes back to people treating you the way you allow yourself to be treated. If you treat yourself with respect then so will others. But how YOU define respect is completely up to you. My personal definition of respect is waiting and a man taking his time to get to know me as a person and in turn I respect him for the same. Then we can get acquainted physically, but you gotta know me to "love" me!!

 

[-Kąditty-]

I think it is better to wait. My brothers and male friends have all let me know how they feel about a woman who give up the sweet too soon. I made my husband wait and we developed a friendship out of this world. A friendship that I do not believe would have blossmed into what it did if I would have been too busy screwing him.

Men screw their way to their "pot of gold". They will sex anything that easily open up for them. Then, when they actually find the woman that make them wait, they realize that "this is the one". Most women mistakenly believe that "opening" up to a man is her ticket to the alter, but 99% of the time it is NOT. And thinking that she will be that 1% that actually make it to the alter is usually her downfall.

I know it is a double standard with men but a man will be a man. Which is even more of a reason for a woman to protect and respect herself enough to not go there with a man she just met.

It is, however, funny when I hear a man say "man, I cant find someone to settle down with because all these women are used up. I want to marry a virgin"

---Um, maybe because you and your cronies have sexed all of the virgins?!?!

 

[ixoyegodisgood]

I just had to ask this question. I will probably also post in OT, since it gets more traffic. This is the age-old question. I would like to discuss. Do you really believe that a man respects you more if you make him wait for the nookie (as in sex)? I’m not asking this from a personal perspective, but I am curious. Let’s discuss! Feel free to post your thoughts!

In my experience, I'd say no, they dont respect you more. I am the last of a dying breed I am still a virgin (no, it was not intentional and it is a long story but it is what it is! ) In the last three years I have dated a hand full of guys and it is the same thing, when they realize it is not going to be that easy, they move on. I think most men are okay with waiting but not until marriage. Not that that has been a hard and fast rule for me, it just seems like that may be the line I draw. I have always been attracted to the charasmatic types, which always leads to a high sexual partner count on their part(one guy admitted to 60!! The others are around 20-30. Its just not a risk that I am willing to take). I say it is good to wait, but dont wait as long as I have.

 

[newbiemom]

Yes men will respect you more. I am so confused as to why so many women/girls give away all their cookies so quickly. There is no build up, no courting, nothing. It just seems like such a let down. A part of the fun is the aniticpation, but females now a days seem to skip dinner and go straight to desert.

 

[changedname]

I don't have casual sex, but I've tried both sides (waiting and not waiting) and it doesn't make a shred of difference. There are some guys who will judge a woman on whether or not you sleep with them early on in the relationship (I know some of them), but I'd say that whether or not a guy respects you after sleeping with you depends on the guy. I personally would not date any guy that judged his future partner solely on whether or not they slept with him on the first date because they're obviously hypocritical and chauvanistic.

I once dated a guy for three years, THREE YEARS, without giving it up. No touching, no kissing, absolutely nothing. We went on holidays, went on dates, had a wonderful time together. We were like best friends. I gave it up after three years and we split up straight away. He was just waiting for me to give it up and he was willing to wait three years for it! (I also found out that he was into some pretty kinky stuff - wish I would have known sooner so that I could have put on my running shoes!)

I've been with my SO now for 5 years, I love him deeply and we had sex on the first night. But I knew from the moment that I met him that we were made for each other. He's not judgemental and he has said that he knew he wanted to marry me on our first date, so it wouldn't have made a difference if I would have given it up after five minutes or five years. Any man who chooses his SO/ future wife/mother of his children on whether or not you slept with him on the first date is shallow and probably won't have many successful relationships...

 

[Country gal]

I think it depends on how bad the guy wants to be with you. I look at Kim K , having a sex tape and posing nude has not slowed her down from being treated like a wifey.

 

[Celestial]

I think it depends on the man. If a man is truly interested in you I don't think he will lose respect for you if you give up the nookie "too early." If a man is not interested in you he probably will leave you if you make him wait "too long" or either get it from someone else, but I don't see how it will make him respect you.

 

[Lucia]

I think it is better to wait. My brothers and male friends have all let me know how they feel about a woman who give up the sweet too soon. I made my husband wait and we developed a friendship out of this world. A friendship that I do not believe would have blossmed into what it did if I would have been too busy screwing him.

Men screw their way to their "pot of gold". They will sex anything that easily open up for them. Then, when they actually find the woman that make them wait, they realize that "this is the one". Most women mistakenly believe that "opening" up to a man is her ticket to the alter, but 99% of the time it is NOT. And thinking that she will be that 1% that actually make it to the alter is usually her downfall.

I know it is a double standard with men but a man will be a man. Which is even more of a reason for a woman to protect and respect herself enough to not go there with a man she just met.

It is, however, funny when I hear a man say "man, I cant find someone to settle down with because all these women are used up. I want to marry a virgin"

---Um, maybe because you and your cronies have sexed all of the virgins?!?!

good point, they will only settle down when they've found the one, and no amount of sexing will make you the one-brutal truth ladies, learn it accept it and KIM

 

[Lucia]

I think it depends on the man. If a man is truly interested in you I don't think he will lose respect for you if you give up the nookie "too early." If a man is not interested in you he probably will leave you if you make him wait "too long" or either get it from someone else, but I don't see how it will make him respect you.

Giving it up to this guy who will leave you anyways isn't a better choice, he's not going to stick around after he hits it either.

 

[Celestial]

Giving it up to this guy who will leave you anyways isn't a better choice, he's not going to stick around after he hits it either.

That's my point.